First of all, I want to take this opportunity to thank the following people: (e:ladycroft) (e:jenks) and (e:metalpeter) for taking the time and respond to my last entry. You all have offered advice and input on my current situation and I appreciate it.
Things might be getting a little better. We had a little conversation about the subject matter and he said he will really try harder to be more appreicative and give more. We'll see. I just don't want to end it with him. I really love the guy. I freakin chose to come to Buffalo just for him, to be close to him. But i'm glad I did because then I would not have ever met the totally awesome beautiful (e:ladycroft) in which then my life would not have EVER been complete! :-)
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01/22/2006 01:16 #24888
And it continues. . .01/20/2006 18:14 #24887
Your assistance is needed. . .Okay, so here's the deal. I am in a relatioship with a GREAT guy! We've been together for almost two years (in April). I really love him. But...theres a problem. I always feel like I am always putting more into the relationship than he is. I always end up payng for things, he never offers. I always buy him things (little things) but he never recipocates. And when he does, he makes a production out of it, almost like he is ticked that he was to do so. A guy can only take so much!! I just don't know what to do! I've tried to talk to him about it...but all I get in return is "well, what do you want me to do?" Its not that I want him to do, but its stuff that HE SHOULD want to do. Am I right or am I really off the deep-end? I NEED HELP!!
pyrcedgrrl - 01/22/06 19:37
Hi there! I'm kinda-sorta in the same situation at the moment. I end up offering to pay a lot of the time, & I'm the type that just buys stuff for friends and S.O.'s on a whim. Sadly, if you are a giver and the other person is not you sometimes end up feeling a bit taken advantage of.
With my boyfriend, I finally had to sit him down and basicly say, "Hey, I'm not your mom. I don't HAVE to do things for you, I LIKE to & it would be nice if maybe you offered to pay once in a while."
I just read your update and hope it all works out for you. Just remember that communication really is key in a situation such as this. The other person probably doesn't even realize they are making you feel this way. :) Good luck!
Hi there! I'm kinda-sorta in the same situation at the moment. I end up offering to pay a lot of the time, & I'm the type that just buys stuff for friends and S.O.'s on a whim. Sadly, if you are a giver and the other person is not you sometimes end up feeling a bit taken advantage of.
With my boyfriend, I finally had to sit him down and basicly say, "Hey, I'm not your mom. I don't HAVE to do things for you, I LIKE to & it would be nice if maybe you offered to pay once in a while."
I just read your update and hope it all works out for you. Just remember that communication really is key in a situation such as this. The other person probably doesn't even realize they are making you feel this way. :) Good luck!
ladycroft - 01/20/06 22:53
Yah, I never got to hang out with Drew much, but he does seem quite the oposite of you my wonderful friend! I have no qualms about paying for things, even if I'm broke, but it is really nice to at least have the offer now and then. I also LOVE getting people little gifts, often for no reason. While I never expect anything in return, it would be nice to get a surprise here and there from your significant other. Perhaps it is time to seriously reconsider your relationship.
Yah, I never got to hang out with Drew much, but he does seem quite the oposite of you my wonderful friend! I have no qualms about paying for things, even if I'm broke, but it is really nice to at least have the offer now and then. I also LOVE getting people little gifts, often for no reason. While I never expect anything in return, it would be nice to get a surprise here and there from your significant other. Perhaps it is time to seriously reconsider your relationship.
jenks - 01/20/06 22:10
oy...
been there.
I hate to be negative, but that sounds like a red flag to me. I think you're totally right and not at all unreasonable to want little thoughtful gestures. It's not about money, but thought. When I like somebody, I can't do enough for them. And I think that's normal. And when someone doesn't feel that way, well it's a warning sign to me. I hope for your sake that I'm wrong. But I just came out of the same situation, and it was no good. And if you're like me, it will always bother you, to the point that you may resent him for it. Again, I hate to be a downer and I hope I'm wrong. But I think you should trust your instincts. If this bothers you, you need it fixed- one way or another.
oy...
been there.
I hate to be negative, but that sounds like a red flag to me. I think you're totally right and not at all unreasonable to want little thoughtful gestures. It's not about money, but thought. When I like somebody, I can't do enough for them. And I think that's normal. And when someone doesn't feel that way, well it's a warning sign to me. I hope for your sake that I'm wrong. But I just came out of the same situation, and it was no good. And if you're like me, it will always bother you, to the point that you may resent him for it. Again, I hate to be a downer and I hope I'm wrong. But I think you should trust your instincts. If this bothers you, you need it fixed- one way or another.
metalpeter - 01/20/06 19:34
I may be off base her, but is sounds like you are the man in the relationship and he is the women in the relationship. What I mean by that is that you are the one that buys everything and has to pay for everything you do. Relationships should be more even but often they are not. I have no idea how to fix it. The only thing I can say is that great communacation will help the relationship and maybe better communacation and talking about it will help. Again that is a maybe, sometimes talking to much can just make things worse.
I may be off base her, but is sounds like you are the man in the relationship and he is the women in the relationship. What I mean by that is that you are the one that buys everything and has to pay for everything you do. Relationships should be more even but often they are not. I have no idea how to fix it. The only thing I can say is that great communacation will help the relationship and maybe better communacation and talking about it will help. Again that is a maybe, sometimes talking to much can just make things worse.
12/18/2005 03:28 #24886
Umm..yeah...So interesting night tonight. Responded to an incident tonight with the ProStaff on duty since I was hanging out at her apartment anyways. Well, the incident was in my building and involved two of my RAs. Apparently, one was in a way assulted by the other while on rounds. OH GOOD GOD. After getting word from our boss, we had to suspend the RA immediately, take their master key and office key and issue a no contact verbal warning. CRAZINESS.
That is all.
That is all.
12/15/2005 18:33 #24885
Darkness has taken overSo, I don't know why, but all of a sudden I feel really...crappy? Down? Sad? I don't know. Its a feeling I have not had for a LONG time; like when I was back in High School. I don't like it when i feel such things like this. Oh no..I feel a dark poem coming on....
The ice falls down from the sky,
the people scamper in where its dry;
Cars go whizzing by,
without a care in their eye.
Alone I sit as I hear the water freeze,
and I wonder, "is this what it is all about?"
Next to my little four foot Christmas tree
with its lights all a glow, I sit and ponder
thinking it all out.
The noise from the freshman as they walk by
remind me of how obsolete I have become;
I am seen as the "authority" and nothing more,
not someone they can talk to or become friends with.
Happy yes, happy no;
I just don't know.
There are times that I wish,
years ago I succeeded in somethings,
but ended up failing instead.
Everyday is a new experience,
looking forward to the day ahead;
never thought I would see them,
thought i'd be dead.
Here I sit, alone in my room,
without a care.
The ice falls down from the sky,
the people scamper in where its dry;
Cars go whizzing by,
without a care in their eye.
Alone I sit as I hear the water freeze,
and I wonder, "is this what it is all about?"
Next to my little four foot Christmas tree
with its lights all a glow, I sit and ponder
thinking it all out.
The noise from the freshman as they walk by
remind me of how obsolete I have become;
I am seen as the "authority" and nothing more,
not someone they can talk to or become friends with.
Happy yes, happy no;
I just don't know.
There are times that I wish,
years ago I succeeded in somethings,
but ended up failing instead.
Everyday is a new experience,
looking forward to the day ahead;
never thought I would see them,
thought i'd be dead.
Here I sit, alone in my room,
without a care.
ladycroft - 12/15/05 20:48
don't you dare. we are the coolest HD's this side of the Mississippi!
don't you dare. we are the coolest HD's this side of the Mississippi!
12/14/2005 14:43 #24884
The minuets tick byI have forgotten what it was like not to have to worry about getting school work completed. I'm sitting here in my office filling out 16 RA evaluations (which I should REALLY be doing instead of typing away on this) and am thinking to myself, "What am I going to do tonight?"What papers, or questions, or summaries do I have to do?". And then I remember, "Oh...i'm done for the semester". I can primarily focus on my acutal Assistant Hall Director Work! How weird!
Last night, going to a holiday party with (e:Ladycroft) was really what I needed. I needed a chance to get away from the hall, my job, the responsibility and just be me. Iy has been so long since I have been able to be myself. But let me just say...I REALLY enjoyed it! I am making my New Year's Resolution early: I need to get away more and enjoy life to the fullest. HAPPY NEW YEAR (18 days early...)
Last night, going to a holiday party with (e:Ladycroft) was really what I needed. I needed a chance to get away from the hall, my job, the responsibility and just be me. Iy has been so long since I have been able to be myself. But let me just say...I REALLY enjoyed it! I am making my New Year's Resolution early: I need to get away more and enjoy life to the fullest. HAPPY NEW YEAR (18 days early...)
ladycroft - 12/14/05 16:01
You do need to live. So come out with me friday so we can dress like 'dead' people for that party!
You do need to live. So come out with me friday so we can dress like 'dead' people for that party!
Awww. You break my heart (in a good way!). Thanks you!