To continue the trend (e:ajay) started last year- here's a link to the Best of Bootie 2006 mashup CD. Haven't heard it all yet, but so far so good. This stuff really amazes me.





And while looking for that picture, I found this-


Which is the original of this:


Ahh, photobooth.

So I told Mom I wanted to take her out, or do something, and she laughed at me and said don't be silly. She insisted. So I at least TOLD her that I was proud of her.

My brother invited me to go out with him tonight. Which is probably a momentous occasion. I have never drank with my brother. I probably should have gone. But he's 7yr younger than me, and I just couldn't imagine drinking with those kids I remember from grade school. Besides, I'm already in my (awesome) bulldogs-in-santa-hats pajamas.

Whenever I come home I have all these grand plans to see all my high school friends etc- but then find I would rather sit home with my parents.

Right now Paul Simon's Rhythm of the Saints is playing- I haven't heard this album in years- yet I find that I still know every single word to every single song. It reminds me of family vacations.

Off to Boston tomorrow. Going to see Bodyworks! I think I already posted that, oops. (I'm excited.)

But I just realized that it will make me miss my daily chat with Iraq...

Peeps I need you to keep from going off the deep end over this guy... I am trying to keep it all in check... I haven't even MET him... I don't know if I ever even WILL... But we've been 'talking' for at least an hour or two a day... I can't say it's flirty, I get no inkling that it's anything more than someone for him to chat with while stuck in the desert... And I have to not get ahead of myself... Ok? So don't let me be a freak and fuck this all up. Promise!!

Ok, time to get back to Trauma Center. (no, I did not get a Wii, but my dad got a DS.)

I feel like a schmuck.

My mom was four years sober yesterday. (and 3 years off cigarettes. I keep asking what she's going to give up next, food? Just to show us all how easy it is to give up vices?)

And we didn't do anything.

Christmas day she was talking about how she hadn't been to a meeting in a while [AA] but that she had to go the next day and wasn't really looking forward to it, because she had to chair the meeting. And I thought 'oh right, it's your anniversary'. She didn't know what she was going to say, hates it when everyone just talks about themselves, etc.

So yesterday morning she went to her meeting early, and I was up when she came back, and she said it went well. She just sort of started talking and before she knew it it was over.

Then her friend P (an old family friend of ours) presented her with her four year chip and her card.

So I admired her chip and read the card, full of nice messages like 'you're an inspiration' 'loved your talk, great message' etc. So I asked what she talked about, and she said Faith. Which surprises me a little, b/c the religious/spiritual side of AA is the part she doesn't like. But she said she talked about Faith in the broadest, most general sense- Faith that "everything will be all right". Not to sweat the details, but just to keep trying, and not to lose sight of the big picture, and to know that you can do it. A good message, indeed.

So she told me that story, and that was that. I think later dad asked "how was your meeting" and she said "good", the end. Doubt my brother even thought to ask.

Her friend came by later to say congratulations and give us christmas presents. [she gave my dad/brother this thing from a joke shop- a remote control fart machine. Oy. They love it and haven't stopped yet.] A few other friends/family called to say congratulations. And all the while we just sat there like it's any old day. Well not any old day- the day after christmas. We all sat there totally self-absorbed and like zombies, playing with our loot.

We wanted to see a movie, but she didn't feel up for it. So she stayed home, and my dad, brother and I went to dinner and a movie. (Night at the Museum. Very fun.) Then we came home and went to bed.

And I just woke up and was lying in bed, and all of the sudden thought "what a bunch of assholes we are. We should have done something." At least taken her out to dinner or gotten her a card or something. I mean, after 4 years this is kind of old hat, and I don't think she really cares, but still... it's a great milestone. We should at least let her know that we love her and support her and are proud of what she's done.

I think I'll go talk to my dad, maybe we can do something tonight.

ugh.
-J

P.s. totally unrelated- the Bodyworks exhibit is in Boston, FYI. I hear it's amazing, have always been meaning to go- we're going thurs. But in case anyone's interested, it's at least still on Buffalo's half of the country.

haha, it IS pretty fun.

OMG I got a fake puppy.

I was in the middle of geeking out and setting up some speakers, and all of the sudden my dad is like "hey are you busy? can you come over here for a second?" I was kind of annoyed, like "can't it wait?" and I look over, and my brother is standing on the other side of the dining room with the camera... looking like he wants to catch my reaction... I think "oh shit".

I walk closer, and they have a little plastic laundry basket with a red ribbon woven in it... and i look in and there's newspaper on one side with a little wet spot on it, and on the other side, the cutest little puppy curled up in a little bed. I mean it's really cute, all cuddled up. And I just thought "what the fuck are they thinking!!" They know how badly I want a dog, but also how I just totally can't have one right now.

So I think maybe it's a joke, and I look closer... it's making little snoring noises and I can see it breathing... And it's super cute.

So I touch it-
And it's totally fake.
It's a little mechanical dog that makes snoring noises and looks like it's breathing.

But it's super cute.

It's totally my new pet.

Merry Christmas peeps!!!

Last night we ate another huge dinner, and then Dad drove us around town to ooh and ahh at the christmas lights. So a huge dinner combined with wine and a 40min drive and quiet music made me fall asleep in the car like a little kid. I told Dad he would have to carry me inside and put me to bed. (he refused).

So we skipped our christmas tradition of reading 'the night before christmas', but we did still open one present christmas eve- which is always pajamas to wear that night. And we went to bed. then mom and dad put the presents out while the 'kids' were in bed. We are much too old for this, but I love that they still sort of do the santa thing. Once they tried to get us to help, but it was too weird to be putting out my own presents.

But even though I was so tired last night, I woke up at like 7 this morning, and have been sitting in bed staring at the clock waiting for everyone else to wake up. Thank god for laptops! (and the time difference to Iraq allowed for a chat with my imaginary boyfriend- woohoo).

I feel like, well, a kid on christmas morning. We (3 kids) used to all wake up at like 4 and not be able to sleep so we'd meet in someone's room to wait til the designated hour, usually 7, and then we would explode into my parents' room. We would want to run downstairs and immediately open presents, but they would torture us and draw it out. mom would have to brush her teeth and put on red silk pajamas, jewelry and makeup. (dad on the other hand would look like a wild man with stick-up hair in a robe and slippers). finally when mom was ready, dad would go first- to 1: make sure santa had come, and 2: make sure he was gone. But really he would set up the camera, and put "Victory at Sea" on the stereo on full blast. (an odd family tradition, no idea where that came from). Then we would finally be allowed down, but we weren't allowed at the presents til after we did stockings. Then mom would try to convince us to 'take a break' and eat some breakfast [angel food cake french toast... mmmm] We would refuse.

So finally we would get to presents. Usually mom would start playing Santa, and would pick one present and give it to someone. We would watch that person open it. Then that person would pick the next, etc. But usually my little brother would get impatient and whiny, and we would want to give the presents we had bought, rather than pick randomly- so it would denerate into a free for all feeding frenzy.

Piles of wrapping paper carcasses everywhere, and this "what's next what's next" feeling. But I, being the geek that I am, often get gadget-y stuff. So I would spend forever with each gift. Reading the instruction book, playing with every little feature.... meanwhile my brother and sister tore through everything- it often ended in tears when they would go try to find presents for themselves, but all that was left were boxes labelled Alex, because I was so slow. haha.

Ah, family traditions. You would think I'm old enough to have outgrown it- but not at all. the only thing that has changed is that I sleep past 4am now. But not much. It's 9:10, and I am just starting to hear people move around...

Too bad there's no snow.

I wish you all a Merry, Merry Christmas!!!

Love,
J