So many things are bouncing around my head... May be a little discombobulated if I try to include it all (but since when has that stopped me, right?) ;)

Reading (e:twisted)'s post... makes me jealous. I haven't been to a show in so long... And I love music... I may not always get to stay as current as I'd like, but so much music is so significant to me... Can pull up profound emotions/sensations/memories... Or just makes me shake my ass. I love that. Both versions.
I have been listening to Cake lately. I love Cake. But hadn't listened to them in ages. That is one of the perils of the ipod... I have ripped in all my CDs, plus all the stuff i've bought/downloaded over the last couple years, and now it's almost like I have too much music. I'll want to listen to something, and I get overwhelmed scrolling through, and end up listening to the same '4 star' playlist over and over. Of course, I have only assigned stars to a few hundred songs, so I'm missing out on so much. Like Cake. It was chosen for me the other day. (specifically, the song "love you madly". Hmm.)

So... I think some of my drama may be resolving. Which makes me feel better. Somewhat. Still not great. I have tried to be true to myself, and have TRIED to hurt as few people as possible, as little as possible. And I have at least tried to be honest with everyone involved, as hard as that can be. Blah... Like I said, not thrilled with things, but at least I don't feel like i have an ulcer anymore, so that's good. It's all such new territory to me....

And that got me thinking again about the nature of a blog/journal. On the one hand it's a great place to put your thoughts out there, but on the other hand, as these people go from being just peeps online, to actual friends, it becomes a little harder to post your deep dark secrets etc. But, I decided that I think that the benefits of the 'community' here far outweigh the sacrifices.

I never would have thought of myself a the type to have a journal/blog. I tried to keep a paper journal for a while in college.... but it ended up just being a stupid list of who i had a crush on at the moment. (hmm, come to think of it, I guess not much has changed.) But I don't really fancy myself much of a writer.

But I have a friend from high school, one of the few people from my class that I keep in touch with, and she is a great writer. And she kept a blog for a while. And that was the first one I ever read... So I was thinking that I probably owe this whole journal to her... Well, among other things...

So, this is a little shoutout to my friend E. You're the best. :)

Though if she'll ever see this remains to be seen. Not sure I'm ready to invite the outside world into "my" estrip...

Ok, I'm suddenly deliriously tired, so I'm off to bed...

night peeps!

-J

update- seems i was wrong about being wrong about the beer tasting. maybe it WAS tonight after all. I will get to the bottom of this. But bottom line- sounds like fun, and if it is indeed a monthly thing, we should go next time.

Oops, so I'm retarded.

There is no beer tasting at Shango tonight.
Upon second look, the article that said "beer tasting tomorrow"- was posted on JAN 24th.

It's the last wed of every month.

So maybe we can try again NEXT wednesday.

Bummer. I was looking forward to it....

(new song: one million miles, by J Ralph)

Ok, this is a superquick illegal post from work so I will get to the point.

Just saw in the artvoice that there is beer tasting at Shango tomorrow (wed 3/22). (Shango is "new orleans bistro and wine bar" on main, near UB south campus.)

7-9pm.
10 beers for $10.

Reservations recommended for dinner before or after, but not necessary for just the tasting.
Sounds fun to me...
Any takers?

I'd be down for a meal too- only eaten there once, but it was good. (and it's fun to get all n'awlins nostalgic once in a while.)

Lemme know!

ok peeps i'm out. Maybe i'll come lurk later.

First, Happy Birthday Matthew!!

Next: so not only am I missing tonight's festivities, but I also can't go to this:

"Fine wine, intelligent discussion, shredded Cuban roast over couscous, homemade hummus, haydari [not sure what that one is], grilled eggplant puree, feta & melon, thai cucumbers, berry salad, and a roaring fire. All for just two hours of your time."

Damn work!

Have fun tonight peeps.
Take lots of pictures for me.

-J

Ok, so I like the Faint, but the opening of that song was a little too grating.
So now you get a totally random little ditty about hotdogs.... (The Detroit Cobras, in case anyone is interested).

So I'm wondering if I shouldn't take a little tip from (e:Joshua) and hibernate for a while... at least emotionally... I've been on too much of a rollercoaster lately... pulled in too many directions... work... friends... boys... some good, some very good, some shitty... And I don't do well with uncertainties. Not sure where my priorities do/should lie. Who to put first, when to put myself first, when to say screw it all and just stick my head in the sand. Unfortunately, I can't have my cake and eat it too- I fear there is no easy way out of my mess. Someone will be hurt/alienated, and it may be up to me to decide who. Or, to suck it up- and have it be myself. I repeat- too much drama for this mama. Which is crazy, b/c I HATE drama, and always try to keep things simple. But they never are. I guess that's what being a grownup is all about. I'm not sure I like it... I think I need a week or so at some sort of zen spa. ;)

I am also super-pissed at my work. I want a day off to go to my dad's 60th birthday party in the Outer Banks. Never been there, and it will be a bit of a family reunion. I need ONE measly day off- I want to leave fri and come back sunday, instead of leave sat and come back sunday. So, since I am asking for SO MUCH, I am at everyone's mercy, and have to pick up all the shit. Which means 3 saturdays in a row. That means NO DAYS OFF FOR 4 WEEKS. Not to mention missing Matt's bday. So not fair, but there's nothing I can do about it I don't think. But I was looking forward to the party.

Fuck.

And now all my plans for tonight just fell through.
Goddammit.
That's it, I'm going to bed.
No green beer for me.
No corned beef.
No jackdaw show.
No seeing-my-friend-before-she-goes-to-china-tomorrow.
No Spot.

Hmm, well this post is shot to shit... I had some funny (well at least I thought it was funny) stuff to say, but now I've forgotten it all and am just cranky...

Blah!!

Happy St. Pat's everyone.
And Happy St. Matty's Day, too.

Drink some green beer for me...

-Cranky Kong