ELMWOOD AVE - A throng of war protestors, Jew haters, self-hating Jews, terrorist sympathizers, white nationalists and self-styled journalists assembled at Bidwell Park Sunday afternoon in the hope of persuading Israel to stop its massacre of Lebanon. Drivers were gifted with exquisite performance art and signage denouncing Israel's atrocious response to constant rocket attacks and suicide bombings.
Bobby McJewHater of South Buffalo, 35, described Israel as a "terrorist state and occupier of Arab lands," and offered the following remedy: "Why don't the Jews, with their hook noses, just lay down and die? It's pretty fucking obvious the world despises them, with the exception of that other terrorist state, the U.S., so they should just submit to Islamic rule or be destroyed."
Bobby's wife Jewy, 32, pondered the situation. "I'm Jewish, and I can't stand what they're doing. I mean, the rocket attacks only kill a few Jews at a time, and what are a few Jewish lives? Nothing, a drop in the bucket, only a good start. A Jewish state is far from necessary anyway. I think their response is appalling."
Bitchy O'WarProtestor agreed with Jewy's assessment. "The collective punishment of the Lebanese people is a war crime. I'm pretty sure the Bush Crime Family is involved somehow. Don't you watch CNN? They had a beautiful piece last week outlining all the great things Hezbollah does for the Lebanese. They educate, they give social services, they do everything for the Lebanese, just like Fidel in Cuba, and they are a legitimate portion of the government. Who cares if a few Jews pay the price for their arrogance? It doesn't mean they have to get their panties all in a bunch and man their tanks. Leave Hezbollah alone! They are only resisting! The world should condemn those fucking Heebs for what they're doing! Err, shit, sorry Jewy, no offense."
Adolf Neonazimann, 23, rejoiced. "I am SO happy that we finally have something we can agree upon with the left wingers. Hezbollah should stack those fuckers up like poker chips! Kill them by the fucking bushel! This is pretty much one of the best days of my life."
A passerby who would only identify himself as "Danq," when asked about his reaction to the mob next to him, lamented the short sightedness of his fellow citizens. "Where the fuck are you when Israelis get murdered on a daily basis? At the computer beating off to it? You people make me want to vomit. Maybe if hundreds of Katushyas were dropped on your fucking heads in the last few weeks you would gain a little perspective. Until then, I just called Buffalo's Bravest, who should be over here shortly to dispose of you assholes with some high powered water cannons. Piss off."
Jason's Journal
My Podcast Link
07/24/2006 15:22 #23668
Lay Down and Die, Jews!Category: satire
07/19/2006 13:39 #23667
Rex Kwon Do!Category: potpourri
Yes, it's true, YOU TOO may look like a serious ass kicking motherfucker, with the help of these bad boys:
springfaerie - 07/19/06 19:04
They're like Zooba pants but worse! MY EYES! MY EYES!
They're like Zooba pants but worse! MY EYES! MY EYES!
jenks - 07/19/06 17:03
ROFL
ROFL
mrmike - 07/19/06 15:35
You get to home to Starla at night?
You get to home to Starla at night?
ladycroft - 07/19/06 15:15
seriously, you should do it for halloween.
seriously, you should do it for halloween.
07/10/2006 17:13 #23666
Fun Evening With Vinay!Category: potpourri
So yesterday after the fucking Italians beat the fucking French in the World Cup, Vinay decided I needed to get out of the house. We grabbed Mack (Vinay's dog, you may have seen him) and headed out to a friend's to smoke some dope, watch some HD, and socialize.
I was really impressed with HD. I have to get it ASAP. We watched Entourage, which by the way ladies IN NO WAY resembles that whore-fest Sex and the City, so stop making the comparisons! I actually liked the show.
Yeah, one of the guys came over and said his girlfriend repeatedly slapped him and punched him in the face, laughing at him, trying to embarrass him in front of his friends. Now, this dude has a hot temper, and I am shocked he didn't just knock her out. He doesn't believe in hitting women. I don't either, but I might have grabbed her wrists, squeezed the shit out of them and restrained her until she chilled out. Eventually he brought her back, probably to hate fuck her before giving her the boot permanently in the morning.
Eventually the fun had to end, but Vinay said we should go to the bar and meet his friend. Fine. We grabbed Mack and headed over there. We left Mack in the car because they don't allow pets in the bar. Anyhow these two chicks in an Explorer yelled at us and asked us to go with them to Frizzy's. Vinay looked at me, I said why not, they promised it would be a short visit.
An hour or so later I reminded Vinay that Mack was still in the truck. Vinay completely forgot. How awful! We went to the girls and said, hey the dog is still in the truck, we need a ride right now to go get him. The chicks said to Vinay "Well I guess it's too bad you're a terrible dog owner!" They wouldn't give us a ride back!
We had to call Josh at 2:00 or 2:30 to come get us. He wasn't happy, but he knew that it was for Mack, not for us.
Fun Fun Fun!
I was really impressed with HD. I have to get it ASAP. We watched Entourage, which by the way ladies IN NO WAY resembles that whore-fest Sex and the City, so stop making the comparisons! I actually liked the show.
Yeah, one of the guys came over and said his girlfriend repeatedly slapped him and punched him in the face, laughing at him, trying to embarrass him in front of his friends. Now, this dude has a hot temper, and I am shocked he didn't just knock her out. He doesn't believe in hitting women. I don't either, but I might have grabbed her wrists, squeezed the shit out of them and restrained her until she chilled out. Eventually he brought her back, probably to hate fuck her before giving her the boot permanently in the morning.
Eventually the fun had to end, but Vinay said we should go to the bar and meet his friend. Fine. We grabbed Mack and headed over there. We left Mack in the car because they don't allow pets in the bar. Anyhow these two chicks in an Explorer yelled at us and asked us to go with them to Frizzy's. Vinay looked at me, I said why not, they promised it would be a short visit.
An hour or so later I reminded Vinay that Mack was still in the truck. Vinay completely forgot. How awful! We went to the girls and said, hey the dog is still in the truck, we need a ride right now to go get him. The chicks said to Vinay "Well I guess it's too bad you're a terrible dog owner!" They wouldn't give us a ride back!
We had to call Josh at 2:00 or 2:30 to come get us. He wasn't happy, but he knew that it was for Mack, not for us.
Fun Fun Fun!
ajay - 07/11/06 00:16
Sigh... do I have to give out all my secrets for free?
The way to a liberal chick's heart is to let _her_ buy the sammich. This way you sound like a starving artist who's just >< this close to his big break.
If you buy her a sandwish, you're a part of the bourgeois elite, flashing his dough while millions starve in Nofoodstan. She'll run you over in her electric car, on her way to the long-haired hippie dude.
Sigh... do I have to give out all my secrets for free?
The way to a liberal chick's heart is to let _her_ buy the sammich. This way you sound like a starving artist who's just >< this close to his big break.
If you buy her a sandwish, you're a part of the bourgeois elite, flashing his dough while millions starve in Nofoodstan. She'll run you over in her electric car, on her way to the long-haired hippie dude.
jason - 07/10/06 21:11
Hahaha!
A hate fuck is actually very familiar to all (or most) of us. It's when you know you really don't like the person, you know it's going to end soon, but you just want to get off.
Some interesting tidbits I've received: One of the chicks was (COUGH ALLEGEDLY COUGH) an escort in the past.
(e:Ajay), you keep on talking about the liberal girls, and I think you're right. =) I still need enough cash to at least buy a sandwich or something for her. Heh. That'll come soon enough.
Hahaha!
A hate fuck is actually very familiar to all (or most) of us. It's when you know you really don't like the person, you know it's going to end soon, but you just want to get off.
Some interesting tidbits I've received: One of the chicks was (COUGH ALLEGEDLY COUGH) an escort in the past.
(e:Ajay), you keep on talking about the liberal girls, and I think you're right. =) I still need enough cash to at least buy a sandwich or something for her. Heh. That'll come soon enough.
ajay - 07/10/06 20:48
The moral of the story is: never trust Republican SUV-driving chicks.
If it had been a pair of Liberal Prius-toting hotties, not only would they have given you a ride back, they would have ... (insert product of dirty mind here).
The moral of the story is: never trust Republican SUV-driving chicks.
If it had been a pair of Liberal Prius-toting hotties, not only would they have given you a ride back, they would have ... (insert product of dirty mind here).
metalpeter - 07/10/06 20:03
Glad you had a great time. Entourage is a neat show. I have never seen anything in HD. But I have Heard Hockey is Amazing in HD. I have no idea what a hate fuck is but it sounds verry intense. Hey girls are crazzy some times maybe she hits him then they have crazzy rough sex with a few "Danza Slaps" in there.
Glad you had a great time. Entourage is a neat show. I have never seen anything in HD. But I have Heard Hockey is Amazing in HD. I have no idea what a hate fuck is but it sounds verry intense. Hey girls are crazzy some times maybe she hits him then they have crazzy rough sex with a few "Danza Slaps" in there.
07/07/2006 14:02 #23664
JASON!Category: potpourri
Someone yelled my name as I enjoyed a cig on the porch.
I didn't get to see who it was!
If it was you, well HELLO BACK ATCHA.
=)
I didn't get to see who it was!
If it was you, well HELLO BACK ATCHA.
=)
07/07/2006 17:14 #23665
My Band Teacher Wasn't Like ThisCategory: rape
Well, it looks like another female teacher (a.k.a. FUCKING RAPIST, you won't hear it said about her though) is getting in trouble for messing around with some students:
22 counts of criminal sexual conduct with a person under the age of 16! If this was a man, people would demand he be locked in prison, and the key thrown away! I know you guys are sick of reading this but I will bash everyone over the head with it until people do equal time for equal crime!
The press can't even bear to call these women RAPISTS!
The students and parents agreed with the prosecutor on the 7 year term. All I can say is that while I'm sure they're trying to be nice and forgiving, they are in fact sending a message to other potential rapists that you can get over on the justice system if you are female.
22 counts of criminal sexual conduct with a person under the age of 16! If this was a man, people would demand he be locked in prison, and the key thrown away! I know you guys are sick of reading this but I will bash everyone over the head with it until people do equal time for equal crime!
The press can't even bear to call these women RAPISTS!
The students and parents agreed with the prosecutor on the 7 year term. All I can say is that while I'm sure they're trying to be nice and forgiving, they are in fact sending a message to other potential rapists that you can get over on the justice system if you are female.
libertad - 07/07/06 22:37
Was this a gang bang or were they all separate occasions?
Was this a gang bang or were they all separate occasions?
joshua - 07/07/06 20:55
Mark this one down for posterity, you won't hear it from me again anytime soon...
Ajay is right!
Mark this one down for posterity, you won't hear it from me again anytime soon...
Ajay is right!
metalpeter - 07/07/06 19:45
Yeah I wish I had a teacher like that when I was growing up. It is odd that she had sex with six students. I wonder if they all new or not and if when they found out that is when the students decided it was rape. I wish the article got more into detail so we knew all the facts.
Yeah I wish I had a teacher like that when I was growing up. It is odd that she had sex with six students. I wonder if they all new or not and if when they found out that is when the students decided it was rape. I wish the article got more into detail so we knew all the facts.
ajay - 07/07/06 18:19
"If this was a man,..."
... then you wouldn't be writing about it in your journal either ;)
"If this was a man,..."
... then you wouldn't be writing about it in your journal either ;)
"the rocket attacks only kill a few Jews at a time, and what are a few Jewish lives?"
What are a few Jewish lives if that life is yours and your families? It sickens me that illogical people like yourself, safe in Buffalo 4,000 miles away form the nightmare understand the situation.
Say every moment of your life you live in fear. Your kids go to school in the morning and you’re afraid their bus will be blown up. This is not a way to live. Say, Buffalonians enjoying themselves on the Elmwood Strip are blown to pieces from Canadian shelling day after day! What would your approach to the situation be? How would you like it if the rest of the Country (and your people) say who cares about Buffalo? Who lives there anyway?
Israel is the only Country in the history of the world to give back land in a defensive war! Israel has a full right to protect itself and the lives of its hardworking citizens.
Dennis Miller on Israel
"For those who don't know, Dennis Miller is a comedian who has
a show called Dennis Miller Live on HBO. He recently went on a rant
about the situation: "A brief overview of the situation is always valuable, so as a service to all Americans who still don't get it, I now offer you the story of the Middle East in just a few paragraphs, which is all you really need. Don’t thank me. I’m a giver. Here we go:
The Palestinians want their own country. There's just one thing
About that: There are no Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel
Was called Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan," "Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern invention. Before the Israelis won the land in war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, and there were no "Palestinians" then, and the West Bank was owned by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians" then. As soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to the Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with their lost
"land" and "nation.†So for the sake of honesty, let's not use the word
"Palestinian" any more to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy at our deaths until someone points out they're being taped. Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And Would Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of Eternal Struggle And Death."
I know that's a bit unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about
this, then: Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent Jew-Haters
want their own country. Oops, just one more thing. No, they don't. They
could've had their own country any time in the last thirty years,
especially two years ago at Camp David. But if you have your own country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you actually have to figure out some way to make a living. That's no fun. No, they want what all the other Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel.
They also want a big pile of dead Jews, of course -- that's
where the real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel. Why? For one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist Entity" as their textbooks call it -- for the last fifty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries to divert the attention of their own people away from the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate, poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if you've ever been around God's Earth, you know that's really saying something.
It makes me roll my eyes every time one of our pundits waxes
Poetic about the great history and culture of the Muslim Mideast.
Unless I'm missing something, the Arabs haven't given anything to the
world since Algebra, and, by the way, thanks a hell of a lot for that one. Chew this around and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs;
five million Jews.
Think of all the Arab countries as a football field, and Israel
as a pack of matches sitting in the middle of it. And now these same
folks swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of matches,
everyone will be pals. Really? Wow, what neat news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea? Oh, that? We were just kidding.
My friend Kevin Rooney made a gorgeous point the other day:
Just reverse the numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five million Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance of it. Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of razor blades and dynamite
to themselves? Of course not. Or marshaling every fiber and
force at their disposal for generations to drive a tiny Arab State into
the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at the murder of innocents?
Impossible.Or spreading and believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their bread with the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to death. Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a tightrope. I understand that with vital operations coming up against Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as Americans, to try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible, and, after all, that can't be much harder than stabilizing a roomful of supermodels who've just had their drugs taken away. However, in any big-picture strategy, there's always a danger of losing moral weight.
We've already lost some. After September 11 our president told
us and the world he was going to root out all terrorists and the
countries that supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after months and months of having the equivalent of an Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show restraint.
If America were being attacked with an Oklahoma City every day,
We would all very shortly be screaming for the administration to just be done with it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and east
of the Jordan. (Hey, wait a minute, that's actually not such a bad id
. . .
ooh, that is, what a horrible thought, yeah, horrible.)"
(e:jason) have you been reading Shelley the Republican again? :::link:::