so i'm strolling back to my hotel in this incredibly insane heat wave that minneapolis is having, thinking to myself that shit is a little too insane right now. that i'm under some major (patly self induced) pressure, confused and bewildered, and i take the elevator to my redecorated holiday inn room on the 14 floor, when i notice that my message light on my hotel room phone is blinking.

i listen to the message and it says that there is a package waiting for me at the front desk!

weird, i think, why would there be a package for me? did i forget something at the airport and theyre sending it to me? is my job sending something i should have with me. i know of course they would have called me if i forgot to take something.

so on the long ride back down to the lobby, i go through the list of people who could have sent me something, crossing my mom right off that list, since she would rather see hell freeze over than do anything nice for me, or anyone else, for that matter. she is a anorexic sentimentalist. and so, i come up with nothing.

i get to the front desk, and i tell them it's me and they turn to the back counter and produce a huge bouquet of roses in a vase!

and then i realized who sent this.

thank you so, so much. you are so sweet and kind. after a shitty day of mental confusion and body aches from an unending flu like sickness, this was what i needed to make things better. i never, in a million years expected it. i feel so special. you are doing a good job of wooing me.

i must admit i had tons of fun at the party, although i myself had some boy drama. FINALLY! i can now join the ranks of jenks.

and if anyone asks, i didn't do anything in the dark attic, i swear!!!

well, maybe a little bit...

but i deserve some action too.

the ex-ex seemed to have gotten so fucked up and so down on himself that he left in a fit because he apparently got jealous. such is the bed that he has made. besides, that is soooo two years ago.

i def think the best conversations were held out on the porch. it was nothing but sitting on faces, sucking pussy, giving blow jobs, reaching orgasm, anal sex, squirting, drugs, and a few other subjects i dare not remember.

it was a pleasure finally meeting (e:twisted) and (e:carolinian) and the oh so charming, (e:kookcity2000) . you were definitely the highlight of the party.

(e:terry) you can cancel the plans for the party i asked you to attend. i think i will hold off on that one.

i am now sitting in the minneapolis airport. i've been here since noon. they lost my baggage and since it will be coming on the next flight, i decided to wait for it. if i was a real paying customer, i would have had them deliver it to my hotel room. but i decided to be nice to my boss and save her a few extra hundred bucks so i used my travel privileges to get to training. but since i'm an employee of us airways they wont deliver the baggage to my hotel unless i pay $18. so i'm sitting around playing on my computer. had to pay $7.95 for wireless access. ate mcdonalds, wanted to eat ben and jerry's but thought it was time to pick up my bag from the baggage claim. unfortunately i didn't realize that time moves back an hour in minneapolis and although i am an hour younger here, my luggage is still an hour away.

i so badly need a shower and a change of clothes and a bed. i am still in the same exact makeup/clothes(minus the fishnets), fake lashes and hair that i was at the party. i came home at 2:30 am, had to pack for this 4 day trip and and head to the airport at before the crack of dawn.

i have a headache, body ache, and lung ache. i quit smoking and last night i fell off the wagon.

i do love my freind lynne and she is the chillest chick i know, but thanks for busting me out last night, biaaatch!

I found a victim!

oh god, getting off birth control pills is never a pretty sight for me. usually i am a hard ass, stoic, unemotional, pillar of strenght. but the first few weeks of being off of homones turn me into an emotional, sex starved, crying sap, where everything makes me want to weep and cry while craving rough nasty sex. actually i'd probably be crying WHILE having rough nasty sex. i haven't had any brave takers yet.

today, i am going to the grandest, greatest party ever. all in celebration of the premier of the third season of Grey's Anatomy (THE best show on TV)

i am so excited to be working at my important job. in fact i am SO important that they've given me my own pager! now i am almost like jenks, rushing off to answer pages when important matters arise. unfortunately, my dumb ass forgets to turn off my CELL phone during a huge meeting with all the departmental honchos. good thing i didn't have 50 Cent's Candy Shop song as my ring tone.

i need to learn access yesterday. i don't understand why they have to make that damn program so damn complicated. its not like i can't make tables and forms, but its the complicated things, such as running updating queries as macros, that stump the shit out of me. thankfully, i have inside IT connections who is a self proclaimed access master, so he better get his ass in gear and help me NOW!

and i also get to go away for training in minneapolis! i hear its an up and coming city with a lot of interesting things to do and see. leaving on october 1st and returning on the 4th.

did i mention how much i hate doctors offices and their stupid receptionist? those nasty, snotty, sassy, bitches. they can eat my asshole raw and floss with my pubic hair.