sure, the one day that i pick to invite people to swim, is the day that it rains.
i've decided to hold off the swimming till i get back. will do to the movies instead, so anyone who wants to join ladycroft and i, just holla.
Imk2's Journal
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07/22/2006 13:06 #23081
swimming canceled07/21/2006 20:51 #23080
come over for swimming!!who ever wants to come swimming tomorrow before i leave for china, the pool is a whopping 85 degrees!
so
come by and bring your swimming apparel. let me know if you're coming i'll give you directions.
so
come by and bring your swimming apparel. let me know if you're coming i'll give you directions.
07/18/2006 23:17 #23079
love is a sicknesswho ever said it is better to have loved and lost than to not have loved at all is a fucking moron.
maybe it's passion that's the problem, not love. passion is what makes you do stupid things, passion makes you sick and demented. it's funny because i was working on a post about how i figured out that it's passion that i was missing and that's why i was feeling miserable, but now i've changed my mind.
passion is an infection, a sickness. it's like drug, when you don't have it you want it, and when you do have it, you STILL want it and you become completely blind sighted when high on it.
i want an off switch for desire.
i just watched the most depressing movie ever made. asylum
and it features my newest hottie Marton Csokas
god, that man is the hottest thing walking on two legs, i probably would throw myself off of a building for him too.
shit, there it goes again.
maybe it's passion that's the problem, not love. passion is what makes you do stupid things, passion makes you sick and demented. it's funny because i was working on a post about how i figured out that it's passion that i was missing and that's why i was feeling miserable, but now i've changed my mind.
passion is an infection, a sickness. it's like drug, when you don't have it you want it, and when you do have it, you STILL want it and you become completely blind sighted when high on it.
i want an off switch for desire.
i just watched the most depressing movie ever made. asylum
and it features my newest hottie Marton Csokas 
god, that man is the hottest thing walking on two legs, i probably would throw myself off of a building for him too.
shit, there it goes again.
des - 07/19/06 22:16
desire is probally at its worse when coupled with self imposed celibacy. Hopefully you can get over one or the other without to much a to do over it. I'm rootin for ya.
desire is probally at its worse when coupled with self imposed celibacy. Hopefully you can get over one or the other without to much a to do over it. I'm rootin for ya.
metalpeter - 07/19/06 18:19
That first line in your post is great.
Yeah love is sickness but it is a sickness I would kinda like to have. Ok so maybe just a cuttie pie in my bed and we could call it love weather it was or not. No maybe I would really like to have if it was a mutual thing but when it only goes one way it can be a killer.
I have to disagree with ya on Passion (unless you mean romantic passion that is differant). Passion is often what drives people to be great and excel at things or atleast make the attempt and to keep trying. The passion is the love of something and that is usaly a good thing unless it becomes bliding.
Desire is so complicated and there are so many types of it. I often see some female in a day that I desire. But it is so much more then that. If it wasn't for desire playboy, penthouse, Fox, and alot of other adult businesses would go out of business.
All that being said I hope You feal better . I think it would be good if we could turn of desire cause it along with passion and love can often be verry painfull. I think we can with out knowing turn off love. I know I have met a few cool ladies and there was just not that fealing, so it may be off in me. Or maybe i can't feal it because the passion is gone. I think that we do have the ablitly to turn these thing off. But it is not done on purpose, our body and mind do it as a way to protect us, and most of us can't figure out how to turn them on and off on there own with out self medicating.
That first line in your post is great.
Yeah love is sickness but it is a sickness I would kinda like to have. Ok so maybe just a cuttie pie in my bed and we could call it love weather it was or not. No maybe I would really like to have if it was a mutual thing but when it only goes one way it can be a killer.
I have to disagree with ya on Passion (unless you mean romantic passion that is differant). Passion is often what drives people to be great and excel at things or atleast make the attempt and to keep trying. The passion is the love of something and that is usaly a good thing unless it becomes bliding.
Desire is so complicated and there are so many types of it. I often see some female in a day that I desire. But it is so much more then that. If it wasn't for desire playboy, penthouse, Fox, and alot of other adult businesses would go out of business.
All that being said I hope You feal better . I think it would be good if we could turn of desire cause it along with passion and love can often be verry painfull. I think we can with out knowing turn off love. I know I have met a few cool ladies and there was just not that fealing, so it may be off in me. Or maybe i can't feal it because the passion is gone. I think that we do have the ablitly to turn these thing off. But it is not done on purpose, our body and mind do it as a way to protect us, and most of us can't figure out how to turn them on and off on there own with out self medicating.
mrmike - 07/19/06 16:31
Never hit the desire off button. It may be a little idle at the moment, but desire and passion can awaken in no time. Give yourself sometime, don't sit around waiting on either. The beauty behind passion is how it returns just as fast as it cruises. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Just don't indict yourself so soon. I've got a full decade of hopelessness ahead of you and I'm not altogether clear about what I'll be when I grow up.
Never hit the desire off button. It may be a little idle at the moment, but desire and passion can awaken in no time. Give yourself sometime, don't sit around waiting on either. The beauty behind passion is how it returns just as fast as it cruises. I'm not sure if that makes sense. Just don't indict yourself so soon. I've got a full decade of hopelessness ahead of you and I'm not altogether clear about what I'll be when I grow up.
jason - 07/19/06 10:40
dang ol dang ol dang ol love?
dang ol dang ol dang ol love?
uncutsaniflush - 07/19/06 00:11
I suspect that you might be speaking of limerence.
But what do I know, (e:paul) doesn't trust me anymore with the writing of help files for (e:strip), so perhaps you shouldn't trust me with giving you advice about affairs of the heart.
I suspect that you might be speaking of limerence.
But what do I know, (e:paul) doesn't trust me anymore with the writing of help files for (e:strip), so perhaps you shouldn't trust me with giving you advice about affairs of the heart.
07/16/2006 21:45 #23078
it's finally happenedoh good people of estrip, it seems that your funk has finally infected me.
i feel so sad and hopeless. i am the greatest underachiever that has ever lived. i'm getting old and lame and have nothing to show for my 30 years of existence.
unlike jenks, i don't and never will have a successful career.
unlike paul, i will never have passion for any particular thing and will never dream about coding.
and unlike leetee or ladycroft, i'm not a very nice person. i'm not happy and friendly and don't have nice things to say when i see you.
after watching all day, the weather man, the matador, must love dogs, notting hill and a few travel channel specials, and eating 4 bowls of ice cream, i feel like jumping off a cliff.
i want to cry. i can't connect with people. not because i don't know how, but because i just am not interested. people don't make me happy, things don't make me happy, food doesn't make me happy, alcohol (and other substances) don't make me happy. relationships don't make me happy. i've lost faith in humanity, in fact, i don't think i've ever had any. i'm not spiritual. i don't believe in god, i don't believe in love. we're all just animals, we fight to survive and shit and sleep and do nothing selflessly. those that do things for others do them because it makes THEM feel good in return.
i am miserable today because i know i'm a selfish fuck and i know that everyone else is too. and those far and few in between who are a little bit unlike the rest of the beasts that roam this earth, i don't like you either, because i resent and envy you.
i don't know who i am, what i want, where i want to go and especially where i want to end up.
the only thing that brightens my day is travel but you need money and time to do that and it depresses me to know that i will never have enough of either.
and now i have a proper pity post.
i feel so sad and hopeless. i am the greatest underachiever that has ever lived. i'm getting old and lame and have nothing to show for my 30 years of existence.
unlike jenks, i don't and never will have a successful career.
unlike paul, i will never have passion for any particular thing and will never dream about coding.
and unlike leetee or ladycroft, i'm not a very nice person. i'm not happy and friendly and don't have nice things to say when i see you.
after watching all day, the weather man, the matador, must love dogs, notting hill and a few travel channel specials, and eating 4 bowls of ice cream, i feel like jumping off a cliff.
i want to cry. i can't connect with people. not because i don't know how, but because i just am not interested. people don't make me happy, things don't make me happy, food doesn't make me happy, alcohol (and other substances) don't make me happy. relationships don't make me happy. i've lost faith in humanity, in fact, i don't think i've ever had any. i'm not spiritual. i don't believe in god, i don't believe in love. we're all just animals, we fight to survive and shit and sleep and do nothing selflessly. those that do things for others do them because it makes THEM feel good in return.
i am miserable today because i know i'm a selfish fuck and i know that everyone else is too. and those far and few in between who are a little bit unlike the rest of the beasts that roam this earth, i don't like you either, because i resent and envy you.
i don't know who i am, what i want, where i want to go and especially where i want to end up.
the only thing that brightens my day is travel but you need money and time to do that and it depresses me to know that i will never have enough of either.
and now i have a proper pity post.
metalpeter - 07/17/06 18:43
Sorry the funk has hit you Now. If memory serves me corectly you used to be a flight attendent, have you ever thought about working in the travel industry as say a travel agent or working on a cruiseline. I admit that I have no idea how one even gets one of those jobs. I have heard a saying that goes something a long the lines of someone who loves what they do for work never works a day in there life.
On a positive note you said that you ate 4 bowls of ice cream, depending on the size of the bowls I can't even do that and I can eat a lot. I heard the Matodar was verry good but not sure about those other movies.
I can say the few times I've talked to you on line and in person you seemed nice to me.
It can be tough when you are fealling down on your self and feal like you have no direction and arn't sure wich way to go. It also sounds like you are looking for things to make you happy and they just arn't. This sounds so corny and stupid but just try to be happy and go from there. I wish you luck with getting out of the funk. I think that there are somethings that you may be passionate about but just havn't found them yet. So What if you are lame, belive me I'm sure I'm a lot lamer then you. You seem like your mind is looking at things in a verry realistic way, wich is belive it or not verry good (i belive) but when you are fealing down it can really be bad. Just try to be more comfortable about your self and try not to be so tough on your self. Hope this helped some.
Sorry the funk has hit you Now. If memory serves me corectly you used to be a flight attendent, have you ever thought about working in the travel industry as say a travel agent or working on a cruiseline. I admit that I have no idea how one even gets one of those jobs. I have heard a saying that goes something a long the lines of someone who loves what they do for work never works a day in there life.
On a positive note you said that you ate 4 bowls of ice cream, depending on the size of the bowls I can't even do that and I can eat a lot. I heard the Matodar was verry good but not sure about those other movies.
I can say the few times I've talked to you on line and in person you seemed nice to me.
It can be tough when you are fealling down on your self and feal like you have no direction and arn't sure wich way to go. It also sounds like you are looking for things to make you happy and they just arn't. This sounds so corny and stupid but just try to be happy and go from there. I wish you luck with getting out of the funk. I think that there are somethings that you may be passionate about but just havn't found them yet. So What if you are lame, belive me I'm sure I'm a lot lamer then you. You seem like your mind is looking at things in a verry realistic way, wich is belive it or not verry good (i belive) but when you are fealing down it can really be bad. Just try to be more comfortable about your self and try not to be so tough on your self. Hope this helped some.
ladycroft - 07/17/06 12:23
we should go lay in the backyard by a bonfire and eat icecream
we should go lay in the backyard by a bonfire and eat icecream
ajay - 07/17/06 00:19
It's probably because you haven't found your calling (your passion) yet. Seek; and ye shall find.
I'd recommend not comparing yourself with others; just be who you are. If you see a failing in yourself, fix it. It doesn't matter what others are like; it matters what you are like.
Today, as the cliche goes, is the first day of the rest of your life. Make it a good one.
It's probably because you haven't found your calling (your passion) yet. Seek; and ye shall find.
I'd recommend not comparing yourself with others; just be who you are. If you see a failing in yourself, fix it. It doesn't matter what others are like; it matters what you are like.
Today, as the cliche goes, is the first day of the rest of your life. Make it a good one.
jenks - 07/16/06 23:28
eh... nice is overrated. Bitch is much more fun. ;) "career" kind of sucks too, and I was just thinking that I really don't have a passion for much of anything.
You're not at all alone.
Sometimes we all need an ice cream pity party.
Go for it.
This too will pass. :)
eh... nice is overrated. Bitch is much more fun. ;) "career" kind of sucks too, and I was just thinking that I really don't have a passion for much of anything.
You're not at all alone.
Sometimes we all need an ice cream pity party.
Go for it.
This too will pass. :)
mrmike - 07/16/06 21:57
Welcome to the party -- It will end. I working on shaking it myself, but for what it is worth, I believe you are a perfectly nice person and you had all sorts of nice things to say when last I saw you. Great smile too
Welcome to the party -- It will end. I working on shaking it myself, but for what it is worth, I believe you are a perfectly nice person and you had all sorts of nice things to say when last I saw you. Great smile too
07/15/2006 18:19 #23077
poop! crap! shit!- WARNING, IF YOURE EASILY DISGUSTED BY BODILY FUNCTIONS, DO NOT READ*
ok,
so,
i didn't crap for about a week. so since i didn't have to work yesterday, i figured it would be a good day to take some laxatives, and since i had a serious case of back up, i decided to take three. whatever. i take a lot of pills.
OH MY GOD! LORD, JESUS, YAHWEH, ALLAH, BUDDHA. what a mistake!
1pm rolls around and the upset stomach feeling comes.
2pm the cramps begin.
3pm the god damned REVOLUTION starts!!!!!
it was as if the french revolution, the communist revolution, and the industrial revolution all came together and decided to stage the biggest protest known to man inside my large intestine.
i felt like i was trying to shit out dry ginormous pine cones with thorns. i sat on the toilet crying for my mommy and for god and for george bush and hezbollah and lebanon....oh wait....wrong post......well...take it from me, being in labor was a walk in the park compared to this.
incidentally, i also forgot that i had dinner plans.
but since i thought the worst was over, i went to dinner to grab some sushi and promised myself i would not eat much of anything. unfortunately, my promises are worth nil, and i ended up eating tempura shrimp roll and tempura vegetables and the cold sweats began again. i felt weak and hot and cold and shaky and had to speed home in my little hundai accent like i was dale earnheardt, muttering under my breath, seeing double, dripping sweat while rocking back and forth.
and so today, the storm was over when i woke up feeling ok. i was able to eat breakfast, even though my stomach was a little sore, but no biggie. so i took a trip to the farmers market and bought 2 lbs of cherries.
i forgot what cherries do to me.
so i'm doubled over in pain two days in a row and a new revolution has begun and i'm cussing at myself for doing this once again.
fuck.
shit.
fuck.
owwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!
mrmike - 07/15/06 18:45
Damn, that sounds harsh. Bet if you fart now there's an echo
Damn, that sounds harsh. Bet if you fart now there's an echo
yeah and I stood you all up. SORRY!
not sure, she said her and jenks talked about seeing lady in the water
What flick?