So i tried to use the sketch thing to illustrate my current anger, but i just ended up getting angry at it.
as you can see.

i dotn think i have ever been so outraged in my life.

why do people think that they can hurt others and get away with it? why are there people out there that would even want to hurt someone who never hurt them, who has only been good and decent to those around her? why people attack other people and then not care about what happens?
maybe it makes me naive and child-like, but i just don't UNDERSTAND that.

i don't understand how people can hurt my best friends.

it really makes me wonder about the hope of humanity.

ATTENTION
I NEED SUGGESTIONS.
Please read and comment.

Boys are stupid.

and here is why:

a few months ago, my friends kevin and todd decided to start a prank war. I thought this war had ended when we pulled the ultimate prank on todds brother scott, telling him that todd accidently hit and run kevin one night. It was perfectly timed, we even had police sirens and the whole bit. scott flipped out and rushed home, to find me and todd sitting in the garage, just as kevin came out the door with a beer in hand and said "hey, scott, whats up?"
and it was understood that I, being me, would never be subject to a prank for the following reasons:
1. i am a girl, and thus not allowed to play with the smelly boys.
2. i am fully capable of kicking their asses.
3. i worry about them too much for me not to end up in a complete state of terror and nervousness.
4. i don't play nice when im mad.

But it seems as tho my boys have forgotten this, since the other night todd told me and jaime that he was going to pick up kevin and he would be right back, and then scott told us that they called and said his truck broke down at the border to canada and kevin got taken into custody.
1. why were they in canada?
2. how ironic is it that his truck dies RIGHT at the border?
3. kevin would be searched, btu they have nothing to hold him on unless he had weapons or drugs, and while stupid, kev would never take that with him were he going to canada.
4. todd left at 11:30. at 2:30, when we left, he was still "on his way home."

but all of this is really inconsequential, since steves girlfriend (who stuck around all night) TOLD us it was a prank.

And now, I must exact my revenge.
You can't tell me that Kevin got in trouble with the cops. you just can't. cuz i will quite literally blow a fuse. NOTHING scares me more than kevin getting in trouble with the cops.
and you can't blatantly lie to me either. if todd had said, we need to make a stop in canada first, i would probably not have been mad. agitated, but not mad. i would have gone home and gotten some much needed sleep instead.

So I must maim, hurt, and humiliate them until they cry like the little girls they are!!!!!

(and yes, i am aware how horribly immature and petty i sound right now, and no, i don't care.)

As childish as this prank war is, I must retaliate.
And it has to be something that they would never, ever expect me to do.

SO
I enlist all those out there who read this...come up with a killer prank, and I will do it.

Today I went to the mall with Becky to get clothes for the funeral and wakes. It was a thouroughly depressing shopping experience. I went to Victoria's Secret to find black thigh high fishnets...they even had ones with seams! Thus, I would have been very happy...had there been any in stock.
After my dissappointment there, we went to the Polish Water Ice place.
I want to open a franchise of this.
Anyhoo, Becky drove me home and mom made dinner (my first actual home cooked meal in 3 weeks) and then I went to rehearsal, and was thrown into a car with Vivie and Justin on a search for an aqua refridgerator in Cheektowaga. When we found it, it was under a huge pile of junk on Union, and clearly these people gutted their house and then just left the remnants on the lawn.
The fridge was huge and heavey, and we couldn't lift it. Not to mention that justin was not too cool with having soemthing that leaked freon in his van. So we dug the door to it out of the pile and took that.
Then the bad things happened.
Justin was being generally pissy, as usual, and Viv got annoyed and said "whats with the attitude today?" So they got in a fight, causing rehearsal to start 15 minutes late and no one being allowed in the dressing room. When they moved the fight to the office and everyone is ready, I knocked, recived a "WHAT?!" and asked if i could start the show.
So, for the first time in a year, i was back in the directors chair...for one night only.
After the run-thru, they came out, much happier. I think. Neither wanted to come out with us after, so I don't know.
So then we went to Jim's Steak-Out, and hung out there for a bit, until Matt's dad came and drove us home.

And once again, I actually feel tired at the end of the day. Which is excellent because I really need to start sleeping again, especially at night. This whole 2 hours in the middle of the day thing is ridiculous. But last night I slept from 2-1...thats 11 hours, most of them at night, and without sleeping pills.
YAY ME!
Now I gotta go call Michael...who will inevitably either drag me out with him, make me mad, or give me soemthing to worry about.
I love him, he is my soulmate, he is the one I will spend my entire life with (in a purely platonic way, unfortunatly)...but he needs to get some friends.
and a boyfriend.
immediatly.

This is my old headshot.

I hate this picture.

Why do I hate this picture?
1. I wear glasses now, not contacts. My contacts almost made me go blind. Contacts bad.
2. My hair is in a very "I hate you" place here...of course, due to a lovely relapse of Trichotillamania, I barely had any, so there wasnt a whole lot of it to hate me. But that in itself is bad, too.
3. I forgot I was getting my headshot donw and didn't really do my hair or makeup...plus, I think im wearing one of dads old shirts.
4. I have lost 30 pounds since i took this picture. I am fairly certain my head dosent look quite so much like a potato at the moment.
5. Why didn't I wear earrings?
6. Jaime put me in funny positioning.
7. The photo isn't dark enough.

None of these things are menat as an affront to my lovely photographer (and best friend) but rather as an annoyance with how I used to look.
I find this strange, since ever since i was about 14 i never really cared how i looked...sometimes i swear that my girly side just happened to kick in about 5 years too late.

::shudders at the mere thought that I have a girly side::

I'm going to go play a video game now.

Today i was awoken at 8am (an UNGODLY hour of the morning for normal people, but the middle of the night for someone who's day starts at 1pm)by my sister, who told me to get up cuz i had to go to0 rehearsal.
I didn't have to go to rehearsal.
I did however have to go to Value home centers on Transit in Amherst to wash cars.
So i get up and dressed and ready, and it's 9:30, the time i am supposed to be picked up....that time passes. i make a few calls, vivie cnat find rick, i can't find katy, confusion abounds.
So 11:30 rolls around and i am driving down main st. with my mother, trying to find this place that katy said was "right near the imax". appreantly when she said that, she meant 10 miles past it. just like when she said "ill pick you up at 9:30" that really menat "have your mother drive you out here two hours late."
So i get there and im washing cars, and yelling at andy to hurry with the hose, and matt to wash the roof.
The usual "we need money immediatly or no one will hear us over the band cuz we have no micorphones" fundraiser.
It went pretty well, and was a lot of fun. Especially when some lady gave Bill a dollar just for being cute, when soem lady commented on what a nice job andy did shaving his legs, when the BMW convertible pulled up and Matt, Andy, and Rick treated it like a sick infant (overcompensating for the fact you spent the greater part of this week in fishnets and heels, boys?) and when i took a picture of the whole cast doing the time warp in front of Valu to attract attention.

After the car wash, Vivie, Emilia, Rick and I went to McDonalds, and hung out a bit. Then we dropped off Viv, and Rick asked where I lived, and how to get there. I said "Kenmore. Just go straight down main st."
Apprently what he heard is "I live at Todd's house."
So we're getting towards the exit for todd's, and emilia is thinking we're going to my house, and im thinking im going to emilias house, and then rick says, "so which exit do i get off at?" i look at emilia, she looks at me.
"Brig?"
"What?"
"Which way?"
"Um, the complete and total oppisite of where we are now."
Silence.
"SHIT."
"I don't live at Todd's house."
"SHIT."

So he turns around and I tell him to go straight, and not make any unplanned detours.
He decices to take Emilia home first, cuz she lives closer to where we were. (she also lives right next door to the church Melissa and Mark were married at...yay for being maid of honour!!!)
So then we wnet to the bank, where i read up on loans while rick waited in the slowest moving bank line i have ever seen.
"I could have taken out a loan while you were in there."
"I kno!"
"And I probably could have paid it off too."

So then i went home, and Rick got lost in suburbia and was quite frightened, but i told him that my street intersects with delaware so he knew what he was doing.

Now vivie can't find the drummer i hired (Those Liquid Idiot boys are ALWAYS trying to ruin something for me.) and duffy is iming me constantly about his angst filled soap opera relationship with my best friend.

I, personally, am going to take a nap.