Tonight was by far the worst night of my life.

It isn't because my parents forced me to leave jaime's early, and it isn't because my night went totally opposite than planned, and it wasnt because I met that Jill chick that rick used to like, or because i ended up soaking wet and freezing.

It's because the windstar is dead.

Because a van is usually pretty dead after a car slams into the side of it and blows out the windows.

So i spent the greater portion of my evening either sobbing in a puddle on the intersection of potomac, bidwell, and elmwood, or calming katy down in an ambulance, or calming duffy down in the hospital, or sobbing outside when i realized that not only was katy all cut up, but my brand new pack of cigarettes got towed away with duff's car.
Before anyone panics, we are ok, mostly. No one is dead.
Duff and I were in shock, but we're ok now, more or less. i got a bruise on my shoulder but it isn't that bad at all, and a lttle whiplash to go with it. katy got the brunt of it, because she was sitting pretty much right at the point of impact. she banged her head, the windows on each side of her sprayed her with glass, and she got some cuts. shes getting stiches right now on her neck and wrist, apprently. and they are doing some tests to see if theres anything wrong internally, but it seems unlikely.

Katy is thinking this is a sign, because of the timing. i hope she knows it's not.

duffy is thinking that he endangered her life. i hope he knows he really didn't.

i am thinking that i would sell my soul to have been the one in the backseat.

we called aquila, who came running right away, all out parents, rick, and victoria. tomorrow, or rather, later, rick is gonna come get me and we are going to go get aquila from work and then go see katy.
i don't know if we have rehearsal tomorrow or not, but fuck it, i aint going.

that was the scariest moment of my life.

<i>You changed my face
I think I like it better now
It doesn't matter anyhow
Cuz that's the way it is
You said hello
Where the hell you been?
I said I feel like I been off to war
And I may never be the same again
I made my bed, but now I can't sleep at night
Cuz you're tossing and turning, you know, you know it ain't right
I'd love to beg, see, but I'm just too proud
And I don't even know what to say, so I'm thinking out loud
And when you dream, you're seventeen
I ain't there, so I don't care
Cuz in all my dreams, I'm twenty-three
And she's the girl right next to me
See that girl right next to me</i>

<i><b>You take a lot of chances with your feelings
No one really knows what you feel
Fixing is the only way you're dealin'
You turn your pretty head if it gets real
Oh, you
You take it so slowly
And your eyes look so lonely
But it's only when you think about me
When you think about me
Think about me
And I got a head
Don't let me speak
And you got a secret I can't keep
You see a little stranger in your mirror
The guy you never knew is what you fear
And all you want is something I can't be
All you want from me is what you need
And now I'm saying I don't know
You take it so slowly
And your eyes look so lonely
But it's only
Oh, you
You take it so slowly
And it's only
'Bout me
When you think about me
Think about me
</b></i>

week one of the show is done. thank god. there are two rehearsals this week, and then the performanes on the 9th and 10th. and then nothing.
The quadrangle is scheduling a date for monday, according to katy, and theres reeharsal on tuesday and thursday i think, and friday we are going to jess' afet the show, saturday we're going to vivie's after and then the quad is sleeping over at ricks, apparently, and then on sunday is the big cast dinner...

and thats it.

feeling a little empty, actually.

anyhoo,
happy 4th of july!

Alas I am going to Merlin's with Molly...I am still not sure why.
I havent seen her in almost a week tho because of the play, so i suppose it will be fun.
And I could REALLY use a drink after the day I had.

So, no sleep.
Eh.
I'll sleep when I'm dead.

So i tried to use the sketch thing to illustrate my current anger, but i just ended up getting angry at it.
as you can see.

i dotn think i have ever been so outraged in my life.

why do people think that they can hurt others and get away with it? why are there people out there that would even want to hurt someone who never hurt them, who has only been good and decent to those around her? why people attack other people and then not care about what happens?
maybe it makes me naive and child-like, but i just don't UNDERSTAND that.

i don't understand how people can hurt my best friends.

it really makes me wonder about the hope of humanity.

ATTENTION
I NEED SUGGESTIONS.
Please read and comment.

Boys are stupid.

and here is why:

a few months ago, my friends kevin and todd decided to start a prank war. I thought this war had ended when we pulled the ultimate prank on todds brother scott, telling him that todd accidently hit and run kevin one night. It was perfectly timed, we even had police sirens and the whole bit. scott flipped out and rushed home, to find me and todd sitting in the garage, just as kevin came out the door with a beer in hand and said "hey, scott, whats up?"
and it was understood that I, being me, would never be subject to a prank for the following reasons:
1. i am a girl, and thus not allowed to play with the smelly boys.
2. i am fully capable of kicking their asses.
3. i worry about them too much for me not to end up in a complete state of terror and nervousness.
4. i don't play nice when im mad.

But it seems as tho my boys have forgotten this, since the other night todd told me and jaime that he was going to pick up kevin and he would be right back, and then scott told us that they called and said his truck broke down at the border to canada and kevin got taken into custody.
1. why were they in canada?
2. how ironic is it that his truck dies RIGHT at the border?
3. kevin would be searched, btu they have nothing to hold him on unless he had weapons or drugs, and while stupid, kev would never take that with him were he going to canada.
4. todd left at 11:30. at 2:30, when we left, he was still "on his way home."

but all of this is really inconsequential, since steves girlfriend (who stuck around all night) TOLD us it was a prank.

And now, I must exact my revenge.
You can't tell me that Kevin got in trouble with the cops. you just can't. cuz i will quite literally blow a fuse. NOTHING scares me more than kevin getting in trouble with the cops.
and you can't blatantly lie to me either. if todd had said, we need to make a stop in canada first, i would probably not have been mad. agitated, but not mad. i would have gone home and gotten some much needed sleep instead.

So I must maim, hurt, and humiliate them until they cry like the little girls they are!!!!!

(and yes, i am aware how horribly immature and petty i sound right now, and no, i don't care.)

As childish as this prank war is, I must retaliate.
And it has to be something that they would never, ever expect me to do.

SO
I enlist all those out there who read this...come up with a killer prank, and I will do it.