I feel like I only ever want to journalwhen I am sad or upset. Damnit that isn't the way it should be!!! But I am going to write anyways. I really think i need to make a firmer committment at work mostly but life in general (its just that its hardest to be nicest at work) to be kinder and more patient to our fellow human being. Sometimes I let my negative thoughts become rampant, when my compassionate/patient thoughts are hiding right behind those mean thoughts. Its just that the mean thoughts are first, so a lot of times I react to them first. But I am learning a lot about patience and persistence lately. I just really want to be able to come to all people in my life from a very honest and jovial place.

I am sick of hearing my own thoughts. My life is surrounded by school, which i think is better than boys cause i know how to effectively turn off my emotions with school-hahaha. But everyone knows how boring school is, sure it can be interesting at times, but damnit its boring! I am pretty overwhelmed with work and I forget what it was like when I didn't have to worry about that. I am learning to become excepting of it all. I still hope that one day I will feel caught up, but that thought is becoming less attainable everyday as i move closer to burnout. I really want to get caught up but I don't have the staminia.

This boring school stuff is interfering with my social life. I don't even want to go out and have fun, but I don't want to do work either. I am stuck. Not to mention my friends are going to be sick of what i have to say about school if they have to hear about it again, and I would feel the same way. Great so now I am going to be boring on top of having to deal with a boring life. Teres needs some excitement, like a suprise trip somewhere or something along those lines. Damnit I need some passion towards something like music or anything, but I am bored.

I am also sick of rides home. Like it always seemed in high school on the way home you had all these revelations of how you wanted to change or felt something really exciting, or was really mad about something. I am sick of those. They are tired to me, all the problems that I have are tired and boring. Not that I want bigger problems, more so the point is why don't i just get over all of it? When will i start being a good person that I find acceptable? Good question!

I have seriously been working my butt off. Just about every free moment I have been spending doing something productive (except for right now ofcourse). It has been insane and not in the best way possible. I keep up wiht the hope that I will one day catch up with my school work.

I apologize for my user pic, I tried to change it, but it just ended up blank. what do I do to these machines???

Gosh I just realized that I do not have anything interesting to say. But I do feel that this website just isn't the same without the big nites out. I really do miss them. I don't know I would attend everyone of them because school work sucks, buts its comforting to know they exist. Is there anyway to reinstate that plan?

Actually I do have something funny to say. For those of you that know the story about Florida and what DIDN'T happen (i don't' remember if i posted that or not--not that it isn't hard to figure out what i am talking about), all i have to say is that he didn't know what offer was being put on the table.

Oh and Boxerboi (Matt) is leaving the pharmacy. I am going to miss him dearly, he always made me laugh and not feel so bad about all the mistakes that I make in pharmacy. Matt I am totally going to miss you!!!!

And I almost forgot to write about my Polish boys. My cousin works for MTV Hits and is going to get them a spot on her show, she is going to write them into the script! THey are totally going to be an overnight sensation-YES!!! I so want to adopt them!

Yes, I got to see my Polish boys once again. They are seriously the cutest/funniest thing ever. They are almost done working at ABC Rental, this is their last week. Then they are traveling around for a week, then back to Buffalo for a few days. Hopefully we will get to go out once more before they go away. Although I am of course planning on visiting them next summer. The showed me some of their pictures, and there was one (if anyone knows who they are-the one with the long hair that seemed to be the heart-throb) was dancing around in black speedo looking things in the rain-too funny. If you guys haven't met the Polish boys, I will post when are where we are going. Everyone should go, because they are most definitely worth meeting.

I went to a stripes only party tonight, which was muy classy. Good time :)

One week from sat 9/11 is my GRE, if you know any good words you could tell me about that might be on the GRE, please post them. 8* I am trying to learn as many words as I can, although I am realizing everyday what a small vocabulary I have. Really sad :(

School is going well I guess. As long as I stay on top of things and devote my weekends to papers, studying and fun things like that I should be okay. I am writing one of my papers on beached whales. Does anyone know anything about beached whales, or a good sight where i could find out stuff about beached whales?