So my Polish boys are back in Poland incase I didn't say. But they have been e-mailing me. Here is a link to some of their photos. Damnit they are so cute!

SO I found out about this trip/class that I can take at Buff State and I would get to go for a week to the Bahamas. It would cost a mere $1,300 for EVERYTHING! And you get to do field research and hang out on the beach. AND the beach is pretty secluded as is most of the island, although there is a club met. YOu fly into Fort Lauderdale (sp?) and then take a charter plane. I am scared of dying on it, but other then that i think it would be so totally amazing. So I am pretty sure I am going to do it! Oh and its actually the island that they think Colombus landed on.

Mike and I went for a walk down elmwood which was most pleasant! It was so nice to have an evening off and just hang out and talk about everything that has been going on. It feels like ALOT has happened, even though it didn't. I know I just wrote an entry about being bored not too long ago. It was so pleasant to be in Mike's company. I hope you feel better mike. I love you!!!

I feel like I only ever want to journalwhen I am sad or upset. Damnit that isn't the way it should be!!! But I am going to write anyways. I really think i need to make a firmer committment at work mostly but life in general (its just that its hardest to be nicest at work) to be kinder and more patient to our fellow human being. Sometimes I let my negative thoughts become rampant, when my compassionate/patient thoughts are hiding right behind those mean thoughts. Its just that the mean thoughts are first, so a lot of times I react to them first. But I am learning a lot about patience and persistence lately. I just really want to be able to come to all people in my life from a very honest and jovial place.

I am sick of hearing my own thoughts. My life is surrounded by school, which i think is better than boys cause i know how to effectively turn off my emotions with school-hahaha. But everyone knows how boring school is, sure it can be interesting at times, but damnit its boring! I am pretty overwhelmed with work and I forget what it was like when I didn't have to worry about that. I am learning to become excepting of it all. I still hope that one day I will feel caught up, but that thought is becoming less attainable everyday as i move closer to burnout. I really want to get caught up but I don't have the staminia.

This boring school stuff is interfering with my social life. I don't even want to go out and have fun, but I don't want to do work either. I am stuck. Not to mention my friends are going to be sick of what i have to say about school if they have to hear about it again, and I would feel the same way. Great so now I am going to be boring on top of having to deal with a boring life. Teres needs some excitement, like a suprise trip somewhere or something along those lines. Damnit I need some passion towards something like music or anything, but I am bored.

I am also sick of rides home. Like it always seemed in high school on the way home you had all these revelations of how you wanted to change or felt something really exciting, or was really mad about something. I am sick of those. They are tired to me, all the problems that I have are tired and boring. Not that I want bigger problems, more so the point is why don't i just get over all of it? When will i start being a good person that I find acceptable? Good question!