06/12/04 03:56 - ID#35257
Pe vs Ke
It's like I'm sanding the marble sculpture of a dancer that I started years and years ago. I'm on the verge. But so are you.
Your potential is arousing and if you only knew that, you'd be teetering between the s and m - the sane and the mad, but looking fantasic in the process.
Permalink: Pe_vs_Ke.html
Words: 176
Location: Buffalo, NY
06/09/04 04:00 - ID#35256
added thought to below
But what the fuck do you have?
ah.
Permalink: added_thought_to_below.html
Words: 17
Location: Buffalo, NY
06/09/04 03:53 - ID#35255
what is going to happen
This weekend, on a side note, I wonder if this helps. I mean, who am I talking to? You? Me? Both I'd say. By the ticket, take the ride.
I used to not worry, but now I do. There is no point, but then, like I was saying before, this weekend solidified that idea. The point is what I make it and that's it. So if I get muddled up in shit, it has to be because I enjoy it. There has to be a bunch of you who know exactly what I'm talking about. Then, maybe not.
But I'm done. I have to focus on what I need to do rather than concentrate on variables I have no say in. It's like what Dostoyevsky said about the architect who builds his house. Those who are angry are those who have finished. Perhaps therein lies the reason for my obsession with the uncertain.
I'm going to go to bed before it gets bad.
I should let it get bad again, but I'm still paying the hospital bills for it.
I think I better think it out again.
Permalink: what_is_going_to_happen.html
Words: 246
Location: Buffalo, NY
06/07/04 07:13 - ID#35254
Sense in the Abyss
Funny thing is I look just like that guy to the right.
And yet I can't leave without posing an idea . . .
I'm walking along a trestle, on a train track surrounded by the absurd. I need to accept that. That is the key to eliminating guilt and self doubt.
I'm just not sure I'd like to rid my existence of those two all together.
Permalink: Sense_in_the_Abyss.html
Words: 74
Location: Buffalo, NY
06/05/04 10:10 - ID#35253
What Will Happen Tonight
Things that will ensue:
Whiskey drinking
Talks of Camus and Sartre's influence
Why people do good?
Women
Physics
Nihilism and debauchery
Hamlet
Anarchy
Next march on Washington
Rum drinking
Big black men telling stories of where they've been
Guitar playing and drumming
The enigma of life in general and the fact that things only exist because we say so, hence God is an aparition and yet he's mine, so there's no discussion. I don't need to prove it, because of faith.
What is faith?
What is hope?
Woody Guthrie
smoking
Why we prefer, sometimes, reading about people rather than people
Why, no matter what, there is always some sort of attraction between people, be it positive or negative
My low self esteem, which can be debated considering I'm on the fence with that one. I've yet to not do something because I was afraid. But I have not done something because I just don't see the point.
Ex-girlfriends
The poor
The poor in Jessie's house, he runs a pseudo shelter
Which goverment lists we're on
When Jessie might get assasinated because he's a budding Che
I'll let you know what else happens
God speed folks
Permalink: What_Will_Happen_Tonight.html
Words: 205
Location: Buffalo, NY
06/05/04 03:06 - ID#35252
Asleep at the Keyboard
Well I just got home from work actually and I tend to fall asleep on my computer a lot. So after about a half hour of typing, my log disappeared. Apparently I closed my eyes and my finger found its way to the "esc" button. When I awoke, my story was gone. I Ctrl Zed forever, but it's gone.
Hey, what can ya do.
Thanks though Keith. Good to run into you again. I hope your car worked out well.
Night all.
(still pretty pissed about losing what I wrote. Or am I pissed about my inability to decide what my body does. I don't want to sleep, but I think the rest of me wants to.)
Fucking dick shit piss fuck - fuck ass
I feel better now.
Permalink: Asleep_at_the_Keyboard.html
Words: 165
Location: Buffalo, NY
06/04/04 01:13 - ID#35251
All Right Then
Oh and I tried to make myself as strung out as I possibly could. That was a strange month of watching Requiem for a Dream over, and over again.
But Paul, we'll see what people say, or if they say anything. I do know that I get disgusted seeing that picture so inevitably, it will soon change, but isn't having an unrecognizable picture a bit appealing? People's expectations start out so small that I look better just by defaut. I should put my horribly cheesy headshot in, when I was desperately trying to be an actor in New York. I had a David Hasslehoff thing going on. Yeah, no one will see that picture.
So Keith, apparently I know you? Did you tow me? Oh wait, I'm the tow truck driver (unless you are too) Did I tow you? Please tell me I didn't fuck up your car. If I did I apologize. My ratio is about 1:100 cars get a scratch or something like it. 1% error is no all too bad.
It was a blast last night. Got to read a bit, shoot the shite, and then smoke a lot. This morning's light was an abomination.
Physics wasn't even fun today.
BUt this is. Sort of. Well sort of narcissistic but Paul you started it. Okay so, the pic you see to your right or one of these?
pic 1
there's something there I don't trust nor should you
pic 2
the morning after
pic 3
the best place in the world, central park and I guess I look like that because I was leaving that town
pic 4
oh so hopeful. Too bad . . .
pic 5
this can be a good potential here. Changing the quote every week . . . I don't know I still think I look better in the pic on your right.
Permalink: All_Right_Then.html
Words: 340
Location: Buffalo, NY
06/04/04 03:30 - ID#35250
whatever I don't know, PINK!
pink uh yeah, terry and liz are getting it on, that guy who groped me is
now gone, no thanks to robin who allowed said groping, and paul is
moving his head like he's on lsd, sweet. notes; camping trip, and strip
poker rematch happening soon, I want to get naked goddamnit robin, get
your head outta my chest here. . . uh okay seeya
Permalink: whatever_I_don_t_know_PINK_.html
Words: 68
Location: Buffalo, NY
06/03/04 02:31 - ID#35249
pop
at least as full as it could be to a guy like me
who is pretty much aching for something
something, hm, something what
hope?
no
faith?
not really
just something
not a lot though
jesus christ I sound like Tony
in West side long story, something's coming,
could be
who knows
well open your goddamn ears and eyes
stop being and asshole and loving loathsome
hey it's fun at parties but find something real
wait though, good luck
you made your bed
slept in it too
well don't sleep much anymore
blame physics
never really slept though
never saw the point
my body does
I'm getting thinner
I look okay
but thinner
my hair is curling more
am I going bald
no fooling, my skin on my arms, when I get home
from work feels as though that if I poke it
with a needle
it will explode
hey
interesting
Permalink: pop.html
Words: 158
Location: Buffalo, NY
06/02/04 02:20 - ID#35248
Density, It's All Density
You know you do. Please don't hide it.
If you do, and I know you do, I have a question.
Thanks.
It's 1:15am and a would be writer is forced to do a Measurement and Error analysis. It's a sick, sick world my friends and I've used up my last barf bag.
Permalink: Density_It_s_All_Density.html
Words: 62
Location: Buffalo, NY
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