from time to time it stops matterring and i get the semi-familiar sense that i can do what i want. Like open a "business" that has making money at the sustenance or a little better level as a goal but a minor one. Just enough to maintain and slowly grow but never to a level that i can not maintain or i have people wanting to buy me out or expand...etc... what of it if it makes zero sense to 99 percent of the population... they can have their world just let me have mine. i want business model reform. had a lot more top say before i got here. oh well

an egg mcmuffin i rekkin my favorite body part t'would be my jiggly, slimy, but firm and covertly edible egg material midsection. I would say to the mcdonald land personage who shaped me, make sure that i glisten but don't drip with the beef tallow. Yes, yes, a little more over by my "yolk".. oh. it feels so good, now slap me with a piece of "ham" and rub me with that nooked and crannied mcmuffin. sometimes, when the days get slow i sit and think about how ronald fought the queen in 1974 over who had really brought this delectable bread product to its' proclaimed height. Other days i just wait around under the heat lamps....anticipating fate.

am i really to care, let alone feel redeemed as a little person... because a billionaire pays a million and a half for fucking over thousands. That is as if i would be asked to pay 50cents when i forget to pay the meter. unless, of course, she goes to jail...then i would be happy.. Maybe someone would choke her with her own fur...


too bad the enron crew are all in bed with the bush empire. would be nice to see them burn for their crimes. pay a 1000000000 of their annual income in remunerations since they miss out on taxes...

emily - that is really great. I peed myself twice.

That said... i am ready to work towards the conversion of the apathetic and those unable to disbelieve what they are told. It is kind of sad. I have been so disgusted for so long that i just want to vote the fucker out. My four-year by four-year political agenda looks like this: 2004- unity against bush 2008- the great push left 2012 - convincing people that it remains important for the majority to vote regardless of lames madison (and in spite of) so we do not allow the great push right to occur. in the meantime i plan to tel personal or potentially personal stories and to find ways to rock the boat. I am giving my dad a copy of "dude where's my country" to inspire a less sanctified world view in the sticks. I recomend this to everyone with relations in the sticks...

I should like some day to have a pond that i stock with guppies. Actually iw oudl but stock a single few pairs of guppies and allow guppie-nature to take its' course. I can imagine water being so displaced by their magnitude after a few weeks that going swimming in the pond would be a sensorial delight, overloading mayhap, but delightful. Following the assumption through that a zillion little wiggling squirming moving reproducing hungry fish bodies up against the flesh would feel pleasurable and not displeasing or awkward or uncomfortable. At some point they might turn into people-eaters from limited resources and then i would have casualties on my head but i would post a small sign that said: "danger, hungry guppies...they'll bite your fuckin'head off man!" and be free from any guilt, if not, liability. In the meantime, i may post that sign near ponds just to alleviate myself of guilt...which would be nice, but, i hate signage.. in general...though a collection of surreal instructions cropping up might be a nice distraction until the man co-opts the surreal and then we are in real trouble. Though it might make for some strange returns in antiquated attire because when the surreal is bought and sold the normal would become...well. the new mode de resistance. Whose got my heady cravat and knickers.

please visit this site if you have the time or the inclination.. Any feed back would be welcomed and appreciated and reciprocated with warm cookies and milk. My aim is more for the content than the design but if you think the design sucks than let me know that too...also...if anyone would care to use the services offered at the site or link it or to email it to friends and family and enemies and possibly interested parties please...well.. by all means.

here is...

making any statements of belief or that this is the best way to go about regime change at home...but... it is fun...http://www.takebackthemedia.com/bushnonazi.html and terry... i agree. there are no choices. that is so 2000....hopefully it can be more realized in 2008. Nader is going to be incredibly marginalized and the media spin will be that progressive values and third (and fourth and fifth and sixth) party interests are not what "americans" want. the only way that representation will come (shy of revolution, and i gotta closet full of tidy bowl and tin foil) is through the exercise of the right to vote by marginalized and progressive people who have transformed these feelings of marginalization into apathy...which is exactly what was intended by the rich corporate white male brain trusts all along. This is a little faith in the system for me, but, if the 18 - 30 crowd voted in mass, there would open up the need to campaign on these issues and for a wider field of candidates.

that is not really true... i love it...but it used to more fun. There is so much stupid shit taking place right now. bush making moves to counteract the fourteenth amendment (timed nicely to counteract debate concerning the loss of 3 mil american jobs, a sputtering economy, corporate cronyism, illegal wars in foreign lands, etc..). All of those issues bracketed in ()'s. And, to top it off, the moral censors known as businessmen who already cater to the lowest common denominator are making moves to sterilize...everything. It is not enough that any alternative source of entertainment, media, information, news is already forced to compete with mass level distribution and centrized-ing readership - an issue that likely results in some self censorship as it is....Now we have master hogan of clear channel entertainment pulling howard stern for allowing a guest to speak in a "vulgar" fashion about sex and drugs. No large fan of howard stern i do appreciate that he has reserved and preserved (to some extent) his ability to remain outside of proscribed lines of acceptable speech. To the offense of many. But now, clear channel is pulling him. Clear channel, the mechanism which has made it ok for 12 songs to be played nation wide. Which has made much of providing a homogenous source of entertainment on a semi-global level is criticizing stern because he is so accessible. What the hey? If radio was market driven and consumer based (implying that when a show was pickd up it didn't involve 90 percent of stations picking you up)there would be a level to which individual markets and personal choice would have driven the programming. Instead mr hogan will continue to make media choices for all. He will continue to determine what acts arrive in to concert venues and he will continue to distill any media which his hands alight on. Because as a broadcaster, and a human and a father of a nine year old girl he is embarrassed. But i bet he loves that miles has been stuck on a god dammed henessey billboard...advertising genius.

this is a great site that provides chumps like me who can not code for themselves a chance to make a decenter webpage...

i heard once that thoreau didn't really live his experience at Walden Pond. Sure it was a place and yes he spent time there...but the lived reality of the location grew in his writings, musings on place and something akin to a fantasy life developed into the vaguely utopian removed life lived in harmony with nature. A fantasy that was not actually fully realized and only partially lived...he walked there every day he did not live there. A good friend at this news found that the writing was what was important..that the idea was there if not the lived embodiment of the idea. I disagreed stating that it is better to fully realize something for the self than it is to spread this idea around at the expense of creating it. Another friend, at another time, discussed a shared experience of being elevated by consumables but being unable to effectively communicate our experiences in that state and as they were only partially experiential (in memory) we remained unable to express them with the conviction that they had mustered originally. Thus this debate of an experiential space was reopened...is it better to communicate towards something that might be realized in thought or to experience "it" at the expense of communicating "it". In these pasts i have always fallen on the side of experiential living...that 'tis far better to approach something and partially communicate than to fully communicate but not realize. Clearly, this indicates some prejudice towards thought as an potentially experiential domain...but for another day.

In any case...this has sustained me for the past several years and i think was leading somewhere, perhaps, towards a more comfortable remove from this amalgamation of frustration associated with life and work and play which has never really happened in any kind of comfortable balance for me. So, i re-entered the formal education system, at a graduate level, in an arena that i do not have a remarkable history or background. My thinking is that i need some new forum to communicate as the experience is no longer fully sutaining...I sensed a deep emptiness in myself this past week (for the first time this was felt and not intellectualized) concerning my frustrations and experiences getting in the way of my production of something to communicate said frustrations and experiences. This is somewhat of a shift for me and it is causing some strange chain reactions. I have become really bad at earning or even acquiring financial means...my response is always to get a job, hate the job, but, comprehend its' purpose in my life and then to work outside of work (for me) towards my real goals. This technique always back fires and feeds into the whole societal trap of having free time after work. So, what have i accomplished, i have stepped closer to what i didn't want and as a result i am revisiting earlier thinking about experience and communication of experience. Approaching a point of communication i want to drop everything and go and think not of translating it. But, that would be sucha knee jerk response at my present juncture.