I Have been aware for years that there is a major difference between men and women. The other day there was a situation that happened and the differences became quite apparent. Friday night I was out for a fun night of karaoke, dancing, and of course yummy beer consumption. While walking back to the car a comment was made by a passerby, this white-trash jack ass, or wtja as i will call him, assumed that my guy friend i was walking with was my boyfriend, and he said, your girl is hot, my friend turned to him, the wtja repeated the comment. In addition to repeating the comment the incredibly polite wtja added, I am going to fuck your girlfriend. GREAT...definately not!! Needless to say, this did not go over well. After what felt like an eternity my friend finally backed off, and as i like to say, became the bigger man. This was of course after a lot of yelling, threatening, and pushing away...and all I have to say is ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! I was upset, my friend was mad, I saw things one way, he another. From what i understand he saw it as a rude comment that we should not have to stand for, and I saw it as a wtja looking for a fight, finding what he was looking for, and myself being concerned for my friends well being. I was upest...mad...there was crying, i was embarassed, but I felt bad for my other friend that was with us and had to deal with all of this shit. After the weekend and thinking about the whole thing I am fine, I just want to clear up some things, and I am not speaking for all girls when I say this. To some men out there...I can understand where you are coming from, and I appreciate you sticking up for me...to a certain extent. Now understand where I am comingfrom...As a girl, I hear ridiculous comments all of the time, I am not saying that they are acceptable, but I have learned to walk away and ignore them, these people are looking for negative attention and I refuse to give it to them. It is called PLANNED IGNORING, it works with children, and adults. I appreciate my friend sticking up for me, but I would appreciate it more if he would listen to me. It's all good now though, i think after monday and soaking one another with squirt guns we are able to see past our differences.
Oh, and on a completely different note...just for those of you that don't know...bathrooms on airplanes are equipped with locks for a reason...please be kind and use them, and if you are too old to know this...take someone with you that can help, this way you will save my eyes from the years of torture that I will now endure.

Lately I have not been feeling like myself and I feel like the experiences that I have had in the past are coming back to bite me in the ass. As a result I feel as though I have a world of regret just sitting on my shoulders, which could explain the stiff neck I have had for the past couple of days. Seriously though, I have been trying to be positive, because I think overall I am a genuinely positive person, but lately I don't know. Then today, I was reading my email and I had a few different quotes that stood out to me, one was "happiness is something you decide on ahead of time", then another is "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who matter won't mind and those who mind don't matter". Then I got to thinking, if people say that you learn from your mistakes...just how many times do you have to make the same mistakes before you finally learn your lesson. I guess that every person is different, and maybe I am a slow learner, atleast when it comes to my personal life and poor decisions. As for school I learned quickly you do poorly in college, then you have to pay thousands of dollars out of your own pocket for that mistake. I think that if money was involved in the decisions that I make for my personal life that I would be a lot more careful and actually think things through before I do anything. I am really going to try to wake up feeling happy tomorrow, although I have to say if my work gives me that wonderful 6am wake up call, it is going to be tough to start off the day on the right side of the bed.

Yesterday was the st. patty's day parade here in Buffalo, and it was a cold one. The day started out kind of on a bad note for me, I slept over at a friends house the night before, and in the morning I got up and starting walking through her livingroom and my foot came in contact with her entertainment system...hard. I almost fell over, and immediately my toes started swelling up. So, i iced them right away, but I was hurting, It was a good thing it was cold out because I think it helped my foot, well, that and the massive amount of beer consumption. Today my foot is not doing so well, I am hobbling around everywhere, and I won't be able to take my favorite workout class tonight, I am mad. Anyway as for yesterday, it was fun when we were all outside for the parade, but as soon as we moved it to chippewa things changed. Yesterday was definately not like a normal st.pattys celebration, it was more like drunkedness after thursday in the square, I saw a few fights, and the atmosphere was just different. I drank too much, and I was not exactly in the best mood after a series of unfortunate events, my irish temper flared...well, not really, I was just in a mood...I blame it on the entertainment system from the beginning of the day, and friends that weren't following through with their promises. I am trying to not be mad, and give others a chance, and I am sure that things would have looked different if I hadn't had so much beer, and southern comfort, I think a little champagne too...ok, I take it back...maybe I should just not drink so much, atleast my foot felt ok for a few hours though.

A couple of times within the past week I have had comments directed towards me about being 25 and not being married. One was from a customer I was waiting on, he asked me if I was going to school still, i told him no, then he asked me if I was even 18 years old yet, I told him that I am 25, and then he says are you married? I said no, and then he asked why not? I told him that there are a few things that are more important to me than being married, and besides i am not all that interested in being married, atleast not until I am maybe...i don't know...40. Another conversation was with a few girls that I work with that are between the ages of 18 and 21, and one of the 18 year old girls said that she doesn't want to be 25 and not be married and with out kids, then when she realized that she said this in the presence of me, she looked like a deer in the headlights. I found it to be amusing, I told her she didn't affend me, and I told her that I think that her thoughts on things might change between now and when she is my age, just like mine might change between now and 7 years from now. I just don't understand why people find it strange that I am in my midtwenties and not looking to walk down the aisle any time soon, I think the thing that is most important to me now is finding a full time job with in my field. I also know that I am young still and if I was meant to be married at 25 I would be...I am happy that I am not though.

I was at the gym working out yesterday, and when I am there I enjoy reading the closed captioning on the news channels. There was a story about some new gummy candy that is called "road kill", in the package there are gummy animals that look like road kill- they even have the tire tracks across them. I was reading this and started laughing, I thought it was such a funny idea, especially for little boys who love things like that. Well, I guess that animal rights activists were all up in arms about this...and all i was thinking was THEY ARE GUMMY CANDY, it seems like a joke to me, maybe I am insensitive to things like this, but I don't see what the big deal is. On another note, but kind of the same in a round about way...I was watching the Jennifer Lopez special on MTV the other day, she did a fashion show, and it was all about the planning and execution of the show. I have a secret addiction to silly shows like this, and I truly believe that if my "real" dreams of being a back up singer don't pan out, that I will do something with designing fashion and helping with runway shows...anyway, this one model on the show said that she refused to wear an article of clothing that was fur because it came from an animal, and she doesn't agree with that, but then later in the show she wore something that was leather, and JLO made a comment that I found amusing, she said something like, Doesn't she realize that leather comes from an animal? I don't understand that whole thing... I love to eat meat, and I have to say leather shoes are way better than pleather shoes!

I have recently joined a "dart league" with some friends, and my team is the laughing stock of the entire league. When it comes to playing darts, my team may be dead last in the fun little league, but we can hold our own. I believe that if there wasn't so much smack talking and if my partners eyes could actually open all of the way that we would win, well atleast one game. I really do think that the last week of dart league we are going to come back strong and kick some ass, and then the teams that lose to us will be understanding how we feel. My partner needs to focus and choose either beer or weed...not both, and I realized that i need earplugs, I get distracted way too easily.
On another note...it is official I am going to Raliegh next month for a minivacation, and to look for a job. As sad as it is to admit that I might have to move away from a town that I love so much, I have to think of my future, and unfortunately Buffalo may not have what I need. I know that I would move back though, my life is here, and family, I love living in Buffalo.

Dan, I know that you know this is me so, when and if you read this I would like to tell you that it is your turn to buy cigarettes for tomorrow. Thank you!

Last night I was out with my friends for our usual Friday night Happy Hour, my wonderful couple friends left early, big surprise considering that they have aged from 25 to 95 in a matter of 1 1/2 years. But, some other friends came and enjoyed a few drinks with us, and I have to say it was a breath of fresh air when they showed up. We always have fun together, and it is so refreshing to be able to laugh and truely enjoy my time with them. My one friend is such a gentleman, it is amazing to me, he needs to teach all of guys how to treat a girl like a lady. Although I may be looked at as one of the guys, it is really nice to be treated like a woman, it doesn't happen all too often. When he showed up he kissed my hand, he lets you go first through a door, he genuinely wants to know about your life, and he compliments me like I haven't had in some time now...it is really nice, and I have to say I admire him in a whole new way now. I think that chivalry is endangered, if not totally extinct, I believe that the womens rights movement might have something to do with it, but when did we say that we didn't want to get treated respectfully, we should get treated equally, but when did we start getting treated "like one of the guys". I personally still would like to have a little bit of romance in my life, and it is definately the simple things that a man can do for me that make me really happy.

I haven't written in awhile and things haven't really changed much. Still having a good time with my friends...just working a lot more. I guess somethings have changed though, when it comes to my friendships with some people. I have a friend that since she has entered the relationship she is in,she has completely changed. She has become miserable, especially when we go out, and I am convinced that her boyfriend does not care for me just because I am single, and she has a questionable past, and I think he might think I am trying to get her to do the same things that she did in her past...I am not getting into details, and that sentence barely makes sense,but,can't we all just have fun, and get along. Some friends may call me the "pep squad", but who cares, life is too short to bull shit around and act like an idiot.
And another thing...I wonder if you find out that someone has said something about you that is not in the best of taste, why is it so hard to be the stronger person and not stoop to their level? I know what I am like, I know my faults, but I also know my strengths...I have made mistakes, and taken risks, and I am ok with that. And I know that the friends that stick with me through the years love me for that! So, as my mom always said to me "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all."
Finally,For an update with the fellows in my life...still having fun with the noncommitted relationship i am in...as for the others, they are just friends and always will be. I may sound fiesty in this journal...just haven't gotten things off my chest in awhile, thanks for listening.

Happy New Year! Last night was a fun night, this year a few of my friends and I decided to lay low and go to a party instead of the downtown/bar thing. Usually I head down for the ball drop, and then go to some bar from there, and this year I did not want to deal with the crowds. I did miss being at the actual ball drop though. It was always fun, even when the weather was not that great. We had plans last night to start out at one party and go to another, but we ended up just staying at the one the whole night. There were the typical drunk people that can not hold their alcohol, and the ones that don't talk that much, but all in all I was fortunate enough to hang out with some old friends and some new cool people. Good times for all, and a safe night for us!