oh boys i hate ringing you for there is never any un-machinelike voices talking back.

safety point #2 has evaded, for the white flakes all around. jjt isn't going to be the temptations to our halls and our oats and even if the tap routine improves, i don't know that its forgiveable. we will follow the effervescent threads of destiny the sitting room to hibernate yet again with nippole. it is funny looking back on lost years. things like these 'journals' aid in the recall, what would be remembered in between sleeping if it werent for these cues. chicken scrawled handwriting that is sposed to indicate things are different but when you get 5 or so pages in comfort food is in the toronto chinatown restaurant where real chinese people eat, in the form of rice noodle cheung fun with special soy sauce thats not the table sauce. five years and theres only sleep and hibernate. happy tax filing to all of you stress-free suckas. oh the places to go and the things to see. it used to be something to look forward to. now it is all just lackluster, the names of all of those who have moved on haunts: but even if they always come back for the aunt rosie's special, stephanie said it: my candy heart is broken. friends who don't even pretend to exist for some people will all of the sudden pop up and let you ftp their secrets as you download away and get at the real person behind the myth. some of them marry, buy houses, settle down when all you want is to move down and get rid of all the furniture, it makes your perspective different to wake up 2ft higher. to reach up, or down. relative meanings. get rid of all of the furniture and keep only the (H) essentials. if anything changes, thats when i believe it can and thats when i ll believe it does.

part deux: i scrawled a secret note in the magnifulous peoples hall and tore it to shreds. i'll make that phone call soon, we will reveal and repeal and repeat. the words of past existence. tis not worth moving backwards when you can stand in the same spot with the illusion of moving forward, there goes those metaphors that we live by yet again. what is your motivator, do you like the discomfort of being you and facing yourself or do you need to run away and not look yourself in thee eye. lepers come out again with their tools of desperation and coffee cake hits the brain as many others but it falls in the same classless category. story. dexy says its time to go. smile.

refrain: just the claps. kick me in the head, i like it. tin where are you. its got the same disorganized organization and meticulous adding. 30 statements to live by and die trying to be. don't forget your soul and the potato chips. and don't make fun of the finer distinctions. its all a spot, a dot on the side of this bottle. it is lost to me, a second is all you need to forget now days. theories, relatives, all in the name of. it will come back again and this will have a proper shit n shovel

herstory potluck

What:
A potluck dinner for self identified women of any age, interested in sharing their "story" within a supportive feminist context.

When:
Sunday, March 21st at 4 pm

Where:
197 Allen Street (at Elmwood), Apartment #4

Why:
To meet new people, build connections, and share our diverse experiences

What to bring:
-A dish to pass, vegetarian or vegan, along with a list of ingredients for individuals with food allergies

-Yourself, ready to listen to others and share any part of your story. this could be in the form of story telling, poetry, artwork, or any other way of sharing a piece of who you are and where you have come from

Other information:

We welcome women with children and would like every one who attends to consider taking some of your time at this event to help take care of any children that are present, in order to give moms a chance to share their stories and enjoy the evening.

If anyone is in need of transportation to or from this event please contact us, we will try to organize carpools.

Please contact Mary or Erika with questions at: (716)886-0377 or e-mail:
maryellencarney@yahoo.com or ewoodams@yahoo.com

radical history of wny

learn about the alternative history of the area (i havent got a flyer or description but keep an eye out for one on the street or in local shops.)

sunday march 21 evening
at m.a.p.- massachusetts ave project
382 massachusetts avenue, buffalo ny 14213
716-882-5327

that flash oyster thing on paul's page is so scary, i had to load another page right away.

speaking of scary

trisha, my crazy food weakness is... boar's head bologna. i havent had it ever since i went vegetarian/vegan, but for years and years i was totally addicted to bologna sandwiches. this is yet another food product where its a total mystery what exactly is in it, but still, i would eat it for breakfast, lunch, dinner, you name it. i don't think i'll ever break the edge for it, but it's definitely got its spot in my memories.

speaking of food im craving pizza. yum pizza..

i have to admit, i end up looking at the journal statistics more than i would like. i think it ends up making me consciously not want to post unless i really have something to say, since i don't have computer/ online access problems and can potentially post all the time.. but even if i don't want to look at the numbers i still do it. its stupid kinda some sort of double bind.

i have been reading about other blogs in other cities and how much they get into the shit-talking of the town and border on a real fucked-up set of identity politics. (http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0409/essay.php)

i love the fact that this is made by real people that i know (and that maybe many of you know too). even if i hadn't happened to meet the folks at 567 lafayette, it would still blow my mind that these are people doing this for people in the buffalo area, that its all open source and is not in the game for getting sponsorship and setting people up on dates and such.

design--
i think that many people identify with what type of fonts there are, and with customization options like colors and whatnot. i'm too spoiled by my computer and chat program. but i'm real split; i don't know what to think about estrip customization, it seems like it would get super complicated keeping track of what styles ppls journals used. i think that people would take advantage of it, but at the same time i think the one style keeps you very focused on the words and what ppl have posted instead of their 'look'

im trying to think large scale. how would one take care of this site/ drop down menu when the list of names get too long to view? what kind of distinguishing factors would set this apart from any other site, or any of the journal keepers from each other, for that matter?

and other random things..

maybe the key is the arts community. that is one of the shining proud things about bflo, and there are so many media studies folks involved or keeping journals, and i know that one of pauls intentions was to have ppl post their creative endeavors on the site. i think itd be great to develop that aspect of it. i mean, we can all only get to squeaky wheel or hallwalls or cepa or the other galleries every so often, but it seems like such a great thing to have ppl post their work and have it available for viewing. of course that prolly takes some bandwidth, etc etc. but maybe there is potential in working with community folks to make that available. the local places i just mentioned have their own businesses to run, and itd be amazing to have a diverse group of artists writers etc being able to show their stuff through this.

i love that its not the same type of ppl who are posting either. i mean, many of us might have more left-leaning ideas but theres still debate and more than just political talk, ppl are posting about such a variety of things. i would hate it if everyone talked about the same types of things that i did, and if i wanted that i would visit a message board or something.

other things i d like to see?

i think the main page should be sort of an intro page. i think if ppl stumble onto this, itd take a while for them to figure out whats up with the site. for all a newcomer could know, every single person who keeps a journal could be friends of each other and youd need some delving into every journal and the faq's to figure out what it is and why. i love the idea of the community and open-source, no ads, no ulterior motive qualities of the site, i really think it should be mentioned in a more noticeable place than the faqs. i would put an 'about (e:strip)' or welcome page with all of that info, in case ppl don't look at the faq; and id reserve the faq for the how-to stuff, like basic code, how to post, how to get a star. maybe thats the idea, get ppl to look around and check it out and pique their interest, but if i was new to this i might not bother taking that much
ti
me
.

help.. too much going on at once. every other day, everything slows to a crawl, and then one day everything is expected to happen all at once.

next point of safety is tomorrow night.

getting on this 'last ten updates' list is so much better than the star method. so gratifying.. plus all of the sudden there are all these easter eggs to find.

we are degrassi'd out. this doesn't feel like a sunday, i don't have the usual sunday butterflies feeling of going back to school the next day. not that school has been a factor as of late but.

my friend k wouldnt notice that someone liked him even if they were humping his leg. this is by no means any invitation for you to hump his leg tho.

we re gna stay up all night now. while the rest of you are passed out drunk from today. ours is just beginning.

i am 'working from home' today, whatever that means. lots of breaks and distractions and whatnot.

all we want are just pretty little homes.
our work makes pretty little homes

make sure yours is better: agenda suicide (http://www.rollingstone.com/artists/videos.asp?oid=2044636)

fix yoself girl, you got a cameltoe (http://www.rollingstone.com/videos/playvideo.asp?sid=492361&cf=2046902)

ah, relief

i was suffering all day for lack of lip balm. it was a rough time, 5 hours of withdrawal. it will take months for my lips to learn to rehydrate themselves again, for the year(s) of lip balm addiction theyve gone through.

amy mentioned this monday but i heard today

so howard stern has been cancelled in many a swing state by the parent owner of the stations he's on-- clear channel-- because he made some critical comments about the administration and how bush needs to be removed from office. happens that the ceo of clear channel, lowry mays, is friends of bush sr and bush jr. (http://archive.salon.com/news/feature/2004/03/04/stern/index_np.html) (you need a pass or subscription to read)

clear channel owns everything from radio stations (a lot of them) to concert arenas to promotion companies (bringing the very bands that america loves to your hometown) to billboards. and this besides the deregulation/ monopoly stuff..scary.

last november people showed up in miami for the ftaa gatherings because they believe food should be gmo-free, wage rates should be living wages, health care should not be a money game, and water should not be sold for profit.
they didn't want the race to the bottom that will inevitably come with the ftaa trade agreement.

what they found was thousands of police, (and to me, this is the kicker:) paid for by $8.5 million from the $87 billion Congress approved for spending in Iraq. every single person i know who went to miami came back traumatized by what they saw, a total show of force on the part of the government and the fortune 500 companies supporting the ftaa trade agreement. no one was safe: union folks, senior citizens, students, black bloc kids, journalists. if you were there => you were considered a terrorist.

what is really at stake here? money money money

NOW with Bill Moyers featured what took place in Miami in this segment: Criminalizing Dissent? (http://www.pbs.org/now/thisweek/index_022704.html#)

(the footage of the police shooting at the journalists and media is pretty terrible..)

subtitled: balancing the act between technology and life

nice dream

the other night i had a dream about an ipod. this was right after i was looking at nick's journal before i fell asleep. and then last night ko had a dream about 3 ipods. i don't think his dream was related to nick's post, but it's funny how it reached my subconscious. haha, this is why i need to quit this for a little while..

how much are you like what you say (write)

i am working on a feedback piece, i havent forgotten. what a perfectionist.

i like to ponder how our respective personalities come through in this forum, and how the things we say or don't say say a whole lot about us.

does anyone relate to any of this?

have you ever had a dream somehow entangled with something on this site? i bet paul dreams about the site that one hour of the night that he sleeps ;) i find myself a little bit addicted (ok, maybe it's more like a lot) to this site; are you addicted? do you look more than you write? feel free to make me feel loved and email.