I was one of those with the cabernet and cheetos...

CANADA BUSY SENDING BACK BUSH-DODGERS
Joe Blundo,
THE COLUMBUS DISPATCH

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to stop the illegal immigration. The re-election of President Bush is prompting the exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll soon be required to hunt, pray and agree with Bill O'Reilly. Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields at night. "I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield, whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a chance to show him my screenplay, eh?" In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher fences, but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much they wouldn't give milk." Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals Near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive them Across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of drinking water. They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though." When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often Wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic beer and watch NASCAR. In the days since the election, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed senior-citizen passengers. "If they can't identify the accordion player on The Lawrence Welk Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said. Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many art-history majors does one country need?" In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada, Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source close to Cheney said. "We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary concerts. And we might put some endangered species on postage stamps. The president is determined to reach out."

the cup runneth over and i cannot find bigger mugs. im leaving. tata.

you guys must think I am a pig, for inviting you guys to a party and forgetting all about it. sorry. will update in the near future. things have happened and I cannot do anything

No cats and dogs in my house and I am thinking 2 weeks time is good time for a party?

I am running out of journal titles,seriously. It troubles me much when I have to sit and think about a title, I never was much of a name-caller ;) .

So today was the first day of school. It was cool. Now I cannot write too. Anyways I shall persist. I realized for the first time in my life that I cannot bullshit as well as I thought I could. When asked in class what my research interest was I proceded to splutter and barely managed to string and incoherent thread of slightly disguised crap about my interest in Domestic violence amongst immigrant women of South asian origin. I am deeply interested in the subject but for the life of me could not think straight and coalesce many many tiny threads of thought into one. I hate it. Does it happen to other people too? Please write and make me feel better. I discovered when I got my first Masters degree that bullshitting was integral to academia. I soon grew to love it and got quite good with it. But lately my pretentiousness has bit me in my more than ample arse and I have taken to looking at people who continue to do so with great contempt derison and loathing, note here my use of words, Ah... the familiar traces of pretence.
And I also realized that there is familiar nagging feeling that I think crept up on me one day when I was asleep. I feel completely, thoroughly displaced. I love Buffalo but I love the dirt and grime and familiarity of old familiar lanes that take you to hot sambhar and rice. Going back to school was a culture shock. I realize that I sing the same words as everyone but I hear a different song in my head.

In other thoughts, how many of you e-peeps would like a Bhangra dance party and Indian food fiesta? Please post votes. I can accomodate about 15 people at my place and I am itching to shake da ass

type

I have been asked these questions many times people...

Q. Why do Indian women wear red dots on their foreheads?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target...
Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant ride-sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....
Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.
Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.
Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.
Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.
Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.
Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.
Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.
Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians; it is is a lot of hard work.
Q. Indians cannot eat beef, huh?
A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eathuman meat.
Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there.
Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk. Japanese

type

I have been asked these questions many times people...

Q. Why do Indian women wear red dots on their foreheads?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target...
Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant ride-sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....
Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.
Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.
Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.
Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.
Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.
Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.
Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.
Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians; it is is a lot of hard work.
Q. Indians cannot eat beef, huh?
A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eathuman meat.
Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there.
Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk. Japanese

Of poses
Hush-a- bush-a
we all fall down...

Caught the opening parade of the Olympics. I remember how big an event it used to be when we were little, a family event. When I was 7 years old, during the 1984 olympics, my father and mother, hardpressed though they were for money, decided to buy a colour TV. We obviously soon became those people who bought a new colour TV. I made a whole lot of new friends that time. My parents would allow us to invite our friends over and we would sit together on the floor, like little attentive soldiers who had to tread carefully otherwise we would be punished. We wouldnt make a noise. Biscuits would be passed around and we would watch the gymnastics and diving events in rapture. Techniques would be learnt and we would try them out in the park nearby. I remember how we were always woken up at 2 or 3 in the morning because that was when the openeing ceremony would begin. And ma would give us milk or baby coffee, which was a glass of warm milk mixed with 2-3 drops of her strong filter coffee. My parents would pack us up in blankets and we would watch the ceremonies begin. Those times were one of the few times I saw my father really excited. He was all that we kids wanted him to be, charming, loving and so funny. And funnily enough now that he is not there anymore, thats how I remember him, charming, loving and so funny.

The argument that Arundhati needs to live in a chawl (hovel establishment) so she be allowed to comment on the political establishment is much like the one which says an artist need necessarily be a poor one to portray pathos. True, she enjoys luxury. Why not? Aren't we all asking for sustainable development? Dams, my friends, are not the flags of the nation (5th class, St. Anns High School, Secunderabad, India)as we were taught. True they are "environmentally palatable" but not at the cost of human lives and livelihood. Im not vicariously arguing on Arundhathi's behalf. Many times, I have myself found myself questioning her claims. But what gets me every time is when we say that "some people will suffer" for the benefit of many more. No! we are not talking about "some people." We are talking of thousands of people. We are talking about people who have lived for many hundreds of years in their ancestral villages and have bulit their economies and livelihoods around the rivers. And incidentally, and I wonder why?, most people affected are the tribals and Dalits(the supposed lower caste of Hindu society.)According to
"Instead the project would displace more than 320,000 people and affect the livelihood of thousands of others."
We are also not talking about a one-time suffering. We are talking about sustained and prolonged displacement. We are talking about apathetic, corrupt government officials who care a shit about the displaced communities. And yes, lest I forget, I bet we wouldn't be talking about looking at the larger picture when there is a million tonne river staring at you and your home, threatening to flood and yes, kill you.
Research has shown that large dams are not only unsustainable but the only National Interest they are serving is interest of those ones with the power and money and enough corporate stake in the building of these large dams.
And why should organizations who are fighting for the residents be the ones to propoerly rehabilitate them? Isn't it the government who is displacing these people be responsible?
Before I came to the US, I made a documentary film about a similar situation in Hyderabad, India. Hundreds of families living on the banks of the river Musi, which runs through the city, were forced to relocate to tinderbox shelters about 30 kms away from the city. There were promised beautiful homes, schools and community centers. They got nothing. They continue to live today in the same conditions, while governments come and go. The reason for this being that the government planned to beautify the city by constructing amusement parks and multi-storey bulidings on behest of the World bank.
Big bucks ride on these big projects. Skewed developement reports from traditionally biased agencies like the World Bank are held up as the basis of equitous distribution of natural resuorces and wealth. And that is not acceptable, and to that effect Roy, who writes magically, writes.
And Ajay, ofcourse the BJP is "Hindu." They proclaim themselves to be that. They do not deny that so why should anybody, hmm?
As I wrote in my ealier post, the Congress is no better in their nationalistic agenda than the BJP. However, optimistic fool that I am, hope that there are no more progroms and genocides embedded in party ideologies anymore. And the more people talk about it the better.

And yes, Dalrymple, I love the guy. I am reading The White Mughals now. It is the most beautiful love story set in Hyderabad, India, (MY CITY.)