I am running out of journal titles,seriously. It troubles me much when I have to sit and think about a title, I never was much of a name-caller ;) .

So today was the first day of school. It was cool. Now I cannot write too. Anyways I shall persist. I realized for the first time in my life that I cannot bullshit as well as I thought I could. When asked in class what my research interest was I proceded to splutter and barely managed to string and incoherent thread of slightly disguised crap about my interest in Domestic violence amongst immigrant women of South asian origin. I am deeply interested in the subject but for the life of me could not think straight and coalesce many many tiny threads of thought into one. I hate it. Does it happen to other people too? Please write and make me feel better. I discovered when I got my first Masters degree that bullshitting was integral to academia. I soon grew to love it and got quite good with it. But lately my pretentiousness has bit me in my more than ample arse and I have taken to looking at people who continue to do so with great contempt derison and loathing, note here my use of words, Ah... the familiar traces of pretence.
And I also realized that there is familiar nagging feeling that I think crept up on me one day when I was asleep. I feel completely, thoroughly displaced. I love Buffalo but I love the dirt and grime and familiarity of old familiar lanes that take you to hot sambhar and rice. Going back to school was a culture shock. I realize that I sing the same words as everyone but I hear a different song in my head.

In other thoughts, how many of you e-peeps would like a Bhangra dance party and Indian food fiesta? Please post votes. I can accomodate about 15 people at my place and I am itching to shake da ass

type

I have been asked these questions many times people...

Q. Why do Indian women wear red dots on their foreheads?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target...
Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant ride-sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....
Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.
Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.
Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.
Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.
Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.
Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.
Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.
Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians; it is is a lot of hard work.
Q. Indians cannot eat beef, huh?
A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eathuman meat.
Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there.
Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk. Japanese

type

I have been asked these questions many times people...

Q. Why do Indian women wear red dots on their foreheads?
A. Well, in ancient times, Indian men used to practice archery skills by target practicing by aiming at their wife's red dot. In fact, that is one of the reasons why they had many wives. You see, once they mastered the art of archery and hit the target...
Q. You're from India? I have read so much about the country. All the wonderful places, the forests, the snake charmers, the elephants. Do you still use elephants for transportation?
A. Absolutely. In fact we used to have our own elephant in our house. But later, we started participating in elephant ride-sharing schemes with our neighbors, to save the air. You see elephants have an "emissions" problem.....
Q. Does India have cars?
A. No. We ride elephants to work. The government is trying to encourage ride-sharing schemes.
Q. Does India have TV?
A. No. We only have cable.
Q. Are all Indians vegetarian?
A. Yes. Even tigers are vegetarian in India.
Q. Are you a Hindi?
A. Yes. I am spoken everyday in Northern India.
Q. Do you speak Hindu?
A. Yes, I also speak Jewish, Islam and Christianity.
Q. Is it true that everyone there is very corrupt?
A. Yes, in fact, I had to bribe my parents so that they would let me go to school.
Q. India is very hot, isn't it?
A. It is so hot there that all the water boils spontaneously. That is why tea is such a popular drink in India.
Q. Are there any business companies in India?
A. No. All Indians live on the Gandhian prinicples of self-sufficiency. We all make our own clothes and grow our own food. That is why you see all these thin skinny Indians; it is is a lot of hard work.
Q. Indians cannot eat beef, huh?
A. Cows provide milk which is a very essential part of Indian diet. So eating cows is forbidden. However in order to decrease the population of the country, the government is trying to encourage everyone to eathuman meat.
Q. India is such a religious place. Do you meditate regularly?
A. Yes, sometimes I meditate for weeks without food and drink. But it is difficult to keep my job, because I have to miss work when I meditate like that. But the bosses there do the same thing. That is why things are so inefficient there.
Q. I saw on TV that people there walk on burning coals. Why do they do that?
A. We don't have shoes. So we burn the bottom of our feet to make it hard so that we can walk. Japanese

Of poses
Hush-a- bush-a
we all fall down...

Caught the opening parade of the Olympics. I remember how big an event it used to be when we were little, a family event. When I was 7 years old, during the 1984 olympics, my father and mother, hardpressed though they were for money, decided to buy a colour TV. We obviously soon became those people who bought a new colour TV. I made a whole lot of new friends that time. My parents would allow us to invite our friends over and we would sit together on the floor, like little attentive soldiers who had to tread carefully otherwise we would be punished. We wouldnt make a noise. Biscuits would be passed around and we would watch the gymnastics and diving events in rapture. Techniques would be learnt and we would try them out in the park nearby. I remember how we were always woken up at 2 or 3 in the morning because that was when the openeing ceremony would begin. And ma would give us milk or baby coffee, which was a glass of warm milk mixed with 2-3 drops of her strong filter coffee. My parents would pack us up in blankets and we would watch the ceremonies begin. Those times were one of the few times I saw my father really excited. He was all that we kids wanted him to be, charming, loving and so funny. And funnily enough now that he is not there anymore, thats how I remember him, charming, loving and so funny.

The argument that Arundhati needs to live in a chawl (hovel establishment) so she be allowed to comment on the political establishment is much like the one which says an artist need necessarily be a poor one to portray pathos. True, she enjoys luxury. Why not? Aren't we all asking for sustainable development? Dams, my friends, are not the flags of the nation (5th class, St. Anns High School, Secunderabad, India)as we were taught. True they are "environmentally palatable" but not at the cost of human lives and livelihood. Im not vicariously arguing on Arundhathi's behalf. Many times, I have myself found myself questioning her claims. But what gets me every time is when we say that "some people will suffer" for the benefit of many more. No! we are not talking about "some people." We are talking of thousands of people. We are talking about people who have lived for many hundreds of years in their ancestral villages and have bulit their economies and livelihoods around the rivers. And incidentally, and I wonder why?, most people affected are the tribals and Dalits(the supposed lower caste of Hindu society.)According to
"Instead the project would displace more than 320,000 people and affect the livelihood of thousands of others."
We are also not talking about a one-time suffering. We are talking about sustained and prolonged displacement. We are talking about apathetic, corrupt government officials who care a shit about the displaced communities. And yes, lest I forget, I bet we wouldn't be talking about looking at the larger picture when there is a million tonne river staring at you and your home, threatening to flood and yes, kill you.
Research has shown that large dams are not only unsustainable but the only National Interest they are serving is interest of those ones with the power and money and enough corporate stake in the building of these large dams.
And why should organizations who are fighting for the residents be the ones to propoerly rehabilitate them? Isn't it the government who is displacing these people be responsible?
Before I came to the US, I made a documentary film about a similar situation in Hyderabad, India. Hundreds of families living on the banks of the river Musi, which runs through the city, were forced to relocate to tinderbox shelters about 30 kms away from the city. There were promised beautiful homes, schools and community centers. They got nothing. They continue to live today in the same conditions, while governments come and go. The reason for this being that the government planned to beautify the city by constructing amusement parks and multi-storey bulidings on behest of the World bank.
Big bucks ride on these big projects. Skewed developement reports from traditionally biased agencies like the World Bank are held up as the basis of equitous distribution of natural resuorces and wealth. And that is not acceptable, and to that effect Roy, who writes magically, writes.
And Ajay, ofcourse the BJP is "Hindu." They proclaim themselves to be that. They do not deny that so why should anybody, hmm?
As I wrote in my ealier post, the Congress is no better in their nationalistic agenda than the BJP. However, optimistic fool that I am, hope that there are no more progroms and genocides embedded in party ideologies anymore. And the more people talk about it the better.

And yes, Dalrymple, I love the guy. I am reading The White Mughals now. It is the most beautiful love story set in Hyderabad, India, (MY CITY.)

In the nice and cool burrow that I have dug for myself bad tidings threatened. Big keepers of somatic selfs pronounce omnious diagnoses that have me dig deeper into the aforementioned burrow. These days are green and blue and a lighter shade of yellow. Ah yes, dreaded moneylessness, you got me babe!
Ajay, it'll get better surely?

The green bills that is. I just calculated and found that the money ill be paying in students loans would have fed me for the next 20 years in India. Besides, my activist self (been dormant for many months) was very happy when I saw Moore's latest. Wept ofcourse. It should'nt be happening.

Everybody Tells Me Everything
by Ogden Nash

I find it very difficult to enthuse
Over the current news.
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens,
And that is why I do not like the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons.

This really defines the attitude of many of my countrymen/women towards gay and lesbian people. The issue in question is about the release of a new "progressive" film about lesbianism, called Girl Friend. The filmmaker defines it that, while the ultra right wing protectors of India's culture and tradition, the RSS (Rashtriya Swayamsevak Sangh, [not the link on top!]), are rampaging theatres across the country in protest of the film. Below is some info about the film and also an open letter to the filmmaker!


Subject: Girlfriend Protest
From: "Humjinsi Cluster" <humjinsi@hotmail.com>

Dear all,

This is an urgent and serious matter. Tejal and Sheba saw the
premier
of the film 'Girl Friend' yesterday. The film portrays Isha Koppikar as
a
sexually abused, violent, obsessive, killer, psychopath lesbian. The
film
claims to address the issue of 'lesbianism' but operates from a totally
homophobic, hetero- patriarchal viewpoint. It will do
unspeakable damage for the movement and simply put, it is downright
dangerous for those of us trying to survive in an already hateful
world.
The movie tears away the anonymity of lesbian existence; the word
lesbian is actually used in the film and the image created is a ghastly
and revolting one. The character is not a lesbian, she is a woman
hunter, a man hater, there are so many things in the film that are
absolutely despicable that one cannot even begin to describe them.

The absolute folly is that this movie is going to show in movie
theatres
all across the country. So while the film capitalizes on the lesbian
angle
(there is even a sleazy bedroom scene) the axe comes down so fast and
so
hard on the lesbian (she dies a gruesome death, which is
obviously retribution) that there is not even a sliver of doubt. Women
who
hate men become lesbians- who are bloodthirsty, abusive killer- who
finally bring on their own annihilation.

We have to take a stand and make a statement against this film and we
have
to come up with strategies to make a strong protest. We urge all of you
to
make time and suffer through the film this weekend so that we are well
aware of what we are up against.

Tejal has reviewed this film for MID-DAY. What she has to say and that
reflects how the rest of us feel as well, is written below. Do go
through it as well.

We urge everyone to come together. We will continue posting minutes of
every meeting and action taken.

In Solidarity,

Shruti, Tejal, Sheba, Aditi
Humjinsi

o o o o o


FROM THE FIRE INTO THE FRYING PAN

Dear Mr. Karan Razdan (director of Girlfriend),

This was supposed to be a film review. If the Shiva Sena and the
Bajrang
Dal go on a rampage yet again, to protest your film 'Girlfriend', ask
for
the film to be banned or sent back to the censor board, I might even
forgive you.

But I know, that six years after Deepa Mehta's film 'Fire' was
released,
the right wing will see no reason to protest your film because your
portrayal of a lesbian as 'a psychopath' sexually abused, man hating,
murderer and killer&acirc;€™ fits just fine into their hetero-patriarchal
agenda
of portraying lesbians & gays as freaks, abnormal and as people who
must
die at the end of the film, so they are aptly punished for their
unnatural existence.

On the out set, it must be stated that the ''Lesbian' issue is a hot
topic; it attracts audiences, creates a curiosity and definitely
impacts
the box office collections. I mean, if you were to tell me that you
made
this film because you care so much about lesbians and the issues
affecting them, that you wanted to bring this issue into the public
realm,
into every Indian household, surely you mean it as a
devasta
ti
ngly, nasty joke!

Your film is a presentation of the worst possible misnomers (I
consciously refrain from using the word 'stereotype') about anyone who
may
be attracted to a person of the same gender. The male, macho but normal
(read heterosexual) hero has no qualms about playing a
hyper-exaggerated, sissy, gay man when he needs to seduce the simple
minded, generous at heart, 'one-night' lesbian, but basically reformed,
heterosexual heroine, Amrita Arora. The straight heroine who is being
continuously misled by the lesbian villain must be saved by the
good-boy-hero. In the end, values of heterosexual love, marriage and
'normal' families must be upheld. The character of Tanya, acted by Isha
Koppikar is nothing short of a 'lesbian animal' aided as it is by the
background score to help us see her as a wild, almost cannibalistic
man-eating/man-hating woman who dares to behave like a man, a Sahela.
All
this of course is explained by the simple truth that she was
sexually abused as a child simultaneously implying that what makes
women
&acirc;€˜this way&acirc;€™ is possibly, abuse at the hands of men!

After watching a film like this, it is impossible for anyone to think
of
'women who love women' as normal human beings with two hands and two
feet,
who may be a friend, a sister, a mother, an aunt, a neighbour, a grand
mother and least of all a caring lover.

It must be pointed out that under the section 377 of the Indian Penal
Code, gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people are looked upon
as/considered criminals, existing against the order of nature. Hey! and
if
you thought it was just about 'those guys & their lifestyles', let me
remind you that anytime you have non peno-viginal penetrative sex, you
are
as much of a criminal and can be put in the prison for 7 years or
heavily
fined or both.

Mr. Razdan, the next time you say that you are taking a neutral
position
in this film and portraying the case of just one lesbian, let me remind
you precisely, that the fiction you are choosing is a cleverly
developed
and thought out story that carries a clear message. This message is a
dangerous and retrogressive one. It is a message that endangers the
life
of any woman who may look or behave boyish, any woman who chooses to
experiment with her sexuality, and any woman who asserts her right to
different choices, even those women who are good friends and hold hands
when they walk down the street.

Welcome to the world of blatant hate crimes based on your sexual and
gender orientation!

As men or women, homosexual or heterosexual, films like these take us
many
steps backwards. More than two decades of work done by Lesbian, Gay,
Bisexual and Transgender groups, feminists groups, human rights groups,
women's groups and progressive artists groups, is going to suffer as
this
film is commercially released in every part of India from small towns
to
big cities.

Every time I hear of another lesbian suicide, another girl who hanged
herself for being teased about her 'best' friend, another hijra woman
raped in police custody, another woman sent for shock treatment and
aversion therapy to cure her of her homosexuality, another couple put
under house arrest by their parents when they find out about their
same-sex love, I will think of this film and I will be reminded of the
power that Bollywood wields in creating a mass consciousness of one
sort
or the other. In this case, it will be a conscious, articulated,
homophobia.

Thank-you very much Mr. Razdan, but we, as progressive citizens are not
interested in lip-service. I can assure you of one thing: the
homosexual
community in this country would much rather live in quiet anonymity
than
be mis-represented in such a ghastly, contorted fashion. Even a little
bit of research on your part would have revealed that
there
are at
least
three active lesbian and bisexual women's groups in Bombay city alone
and
hundreds of 'women who love women' leading their lives openly and
happily
but that's only possible when one makes a film on a hot issue (like
lesbianism is in India) when you foresee beyond profits and
publicity and see, real lives and real people who will live the
consequences of your doing.

It&acirc;€™s time that we stopped separating the issues that films address and
their impact on the audience/citizen within a given socio-political
context/environment. It is also high time that we stand in protest
against
any film that causes damage to the rights of any minority group.

Tejal Shah
(The writer is a visual artist and the co-founder, organiser and
curator
of Larzish - tremors of a revolution, International Film festival of
Sexuality & Gender Plurality, India since 2003)

BBC News, 14 June, 2004
'Girlfriend' causes India storm
By Jayshree Bajoria


The Telegraph, June 16, 2004
Two Women - Editorial


The Times of India, June 16, 2004
The XY-rated Film: Thought Police are Oxy-morons
Bachi Karkaria


see also the the URL for the official website on the film: