06/10/06 01:37 - 55ºF - ID#21046
Feisty the turtle
I remember clearly, the day that I had finally had enough, normally I would just walk away and make a mental note that those were not the kids that I wanted to hang out with but one particular day I snapped, I saw the usual congregation of idiots whose names that I still remember beginning their ritual and I started grabbing every frog I could get my hands on, I remember getting back to my house with tears exploding from my face. I had that face of innocence, a little boy whom I really miss sometimes these days and in my hand was one frog. I saved one frog.
So yesterday I was driving down Tifft street and I saw a turtle trying to cross the road. It was very busy and he was quite slow (as we know turtles are) so I pulled over on to Ohio right before Tifft Nature Preserve and ran back to where I had seen the turtle. My heart dropped because the turtle had allready been hit, in the two minutes from the time I noticed it to the time I got back to it, some oblivious individual in an SUV (Stupid Unipressive Vehicle) had run him over. His shell was cracked and he was bleeding very badly. All of a sudden I was 9 years old standing at the corner of my street, manically clutching at frogs. So after putting the turtle whom I would come to name feisty in a safe place I went home to get a shoe box and some carrots, neither of which was he happy to see. I then had Liz take me to the SPCA where I left him with the vet who seemed to think he had a chance. His shell was very badly cracked and I could see parts of him that are much better left to biology textbooks. I did not call today to find out his status but I thought about it. I would like to think that I have done everything I can for him.
So maybe I'm a meat eating hipocrite, maybe I spent years of my life training to be a marine, maybe uncle sam could have made me a killer as he has some with many of my friends from my days wearing green, but yesterday I think I saved one turtle, and that makes me feel good. It makes me feel good because after everything Ive done in my life all of my post pubescent transgressions have not been able to completely remove that 9 year old boy from my spirit. That turtle may have been more helpful to me than I was to it.
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Words: 671
04/26/06 06:48 - 49ºF - ID#21045
Create Adventure
Permalink: Create_Adventure.html
Words: 431
Category: quarter life crisis
03/02/06 12:23 - 23ºF - ID#21044
On Being Excited
Not that I'm a gloomy individual, my disposition is actually quite agreeable. I've just had so many wonderful experiences in my life that I think my bar is set a bit high these days. So here is a very abbrevriated list of my most exciting moments in recent memory. Not in any order.
The day I decided to go back to college
The the first time I caught a wave (surfing)
The day I graduated Marine Corps Bootcamp (Very distant memory)
The day I started my own business
Any time I've gotten on a plane to go somewhere new
The day I wrote my first piano composition
The day I played it for my best friend
The Day I got out of the Marines
The Day I got my scholarship for graduate school
.....
Permalink: On_Being_Excited.html
Words: 268
02/28/06 05:06 - 24ºF - ID#21043
Geek Defined
Permalink: Geek_Defined.html
Words: 152
02/24/06 10:24 - 26ºF - ID#21042
American Fundamentalism
So here it is, once upon a time I was an infantryman reservist, a college student and generally oblivious to anything outside of my little social bubble. My most heated political debate would probably have come from my admiration of Bill Clinton's ability to dodge congressional questions like a prize fighter ducking punches, but beyond Slick Willy getting a little head in the oval office my understanding of national politics was abysmal and knowledge of the global landscape non-existent. Then some fundamentalist wackos decided to fly a plane into a building and all of a sudden things mattered. It just so happens that when every time the phone rings your heart stops because you think its going to be "The Call" the one that sends you to war, you start taking stock in the what and the why, the who and the where. It is unfortunate that I had to have something to lose before I realized how much I could gain by becoming a more global citizen. Six years ago I was an American, probably a patriot and definitely the norm, educated but uniformed, accepting of the biased media and not truly understanding what it means to be a part of a society that extends far beyond our borders. Today I am still an American I believe in globalism over patriotism, I believe getting educated is not a thing you do, but a way you live your life, I abhor the media and am very grateful for the Internet and its ability to disseminate information at the speed of light in spite of corporate conglomerates and there attempts to control what you think. The first part of this last statement is what would seem to be the most easily defined, I am an American. I think it needs to be clarified.
I am an American, I live in a bubble inside of which there are people who believe that for some reason their bubble was born of superior soap. We are a land of Fundamentalists. We criticize Islam for berthing such extreme ideological perspectives but we fail to recognize our own. If you are not sure what I am talking about here feel free to watch Fox News for an hour, or even worse, tolerate Bill Orielly, or Pat Robertson for a few hours.
I am an American, Therefore there is a good chance that I have aligned myself with one political party. How is it that we have millions of citizens and only two prevailing political ideologies. Our citizens vote with tunnel vision. I have money and the republicans want me to keep it, or I am broke and the Democrats are setting up a hand out, or maybe you love god and you are dumb enough to believe a politician and his religion are anything more than a direct path to your vote.
I am an American, This means that I am a minority in graduate school. I am the minority in an American Graduate school. How can we think ourselves so superior to the rest of the world when our students can't pass basic skills tests. Most Americans know barely enough math to balance a checkbook and don't get me started on the inefficiencies of our public school system as I could write a book about my feelings there.
I am an American. Therefore I probably believe that any place on the earth that does not adhere to a strict democratic system of governance, must be bad and therefore we should bomb them all to hell and force them to have elections.
I am an American. Certainly I must think that any country from whence a 9-11 bomber came, must be bad. I allow the media to reinforce this perception by constantly reminding me who was from Saudi Arabia, or the United Arab Emirates. Because of course my memory is too short to remember things like the Oklahoma City Bombing. I live 25 Miles from Star Point where Timothy McVeigh was born and as an American it must apparently be my God forsaken duty to shun the entire community and not let any kids thay I may have play with the children of Star Point parents.
I am an American. Therefore I think that Africa is a country and the Middle East consists of Iraq and Iran. I have no idea what Israel has to do with anything and I couldn't tell you where India is for all the curry powder in the world.
I am an American. Therefore there is better than 50% chance that If I voted at all, I voted for George Bush and thanks to me, a village in Texas is missing its idiot. Chances are I voted based on religious principle, I fear science because it encroaches on said principle and I relate to a president who couldn't string four words together eloquently if the words were spool, thread, cloth and pin.
I am an American. So I probably drive an SUV because "I just don't feel safe in a small car" or I compensating for something else that is small. I complain about rising gas prices but am so appalled at the idea of tiny fuel efficient vehicles that companies don't even sell them here. I've never seen one of these @ .
I am an American so I believe that every war that was ever fought in the history of the planet was fought so that I can have the freedoms I have today. Apparently political sociological, religious and economic overtones are really just a front for this fight and I am safer at night because we have really large bombs on the wings of really fast planes built by bloated defense contracts in the name of my safety and some heavily lobbied corporations profit margin.
I am an American, but I am also an Earthling. Yes I do live in a great country, but I take it for granted and forget that this great country is part of a wonderful Earth .
Don't get me wrong. America is a great idea. The land of the free, home of the brave etc.. The problem is people. We are inherently flawed. We flow like water down the path of least resistance, and in a land with so much opportunity resistance is easily avoided. We may very well be seeing the adverse effects of our own success.
I am an American. Therefore I have the freedoms that allow me to think critically of this country. I don't have to worry about state sponsored censorship of my google search results ( at least not yet anyways ) and therefore it is possible that someone else will find this blog and read these words. Now before you go thinking I've gone and contradicted myself, realize that as an American I am in a position to make a difference in the world. I have resources available to me that go beyond that of the leaders of some entire countries. I have an obligation to be critical of my politicians and the people who elect them. I must not believe that I live in the a perfect society and I understand that we bring much of our problems upon ourselves by over consuming and under producing.
Some day when I look back at my life and wonder where all the time went, I hope I will not judge the quality of my life by the things I have consumed and those as of yet un consumed things that I will have willed to my family, but by the extent of my understanding of the world and appreciation for the things that I have been afforded because I am an American and a Human Being.
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Thank you for rescuing that injured turtle. I would have done the same thing.
As for tadpoles and frogs... i can't ever remember doing things like that when i was a kid. We used to collect tadpoles in old mayo jars when i was a kid, but we always wanted them to live so we could have pet frogs. My mom used to make me put them back, though... but she said it was 'cause the cat would eat them. Now, i'm glad we did... what the heck would a tadpole eat anyway? Purina tadpole chow??
Then they would try to ride their bikes over them. When I would find out I would freak and take the toads out to our big back yard.
Years later, when I was working at a summer camp, I used to have to weed whack around a pond.
Lots of frogs, but they usually bail before you get by them, especially with a loud ass weedwhacker.
The first time I 'chunked' a frog, it really broke my heart. I felt awful.
I got used to it though after a couple times.
This story also remind me that there are wonderful people out there who care about life. They will stop what they are doing to help a creature in need; not becuase it is convenient or they would otherwise feel guilty- but because it is what they do-- it is part of who they are- good character, sense of self and compassion for life..
My stomach is knotted up thinking about the frog hopping/rolling away. Sickened, that as children, some of us were witness to such cruelty and sickened, because as an adult, I know that people continue to do purposely aweful things to innocent animals and other people (I've lived in some bad places..) I have so many stories.. however, most have a good outcome.
Kids experiment with life and death- cause and effect- engaging in behavior to establish rank amongst friends and other rights of passage. Yet in this scenerio, I think the real rights of passage come when the kid realizes that the connection between cause and effect is the difference of right and wrong-- and that they are making the choices that lead to the outcome. That they are taking away the life of animal, completely defensless against such choices.
When they dont learn this, there is something more pervasive going on in their psyche, which continues into adulthood. *sigh*
At about 10 years old- I had met up with a group of friends, who were standing standing around looking up at a tree branch. As I approached, I heard the pop of a BB gun go off. One boy shot and killed a robin. He then realized what he actually did, and began to cry. That was his moment of truth/understanding that his actions were wrong. He grew up a little bit that day, as we all did. We all felt aweful and from that day on, they took to saving and helping animals. I was included in many of those endeavors- but that was something I often engaged in with my mom. We have always been rescuers of the sort; although it took her a few years to convince me that, "Carey, you cant bring that bat back to life". "Carey, I know you will feed it, but that vole needs to live outside, not in your dresser drawer" But yeh, we've pulled frogs out of snakes, skunks out of traps, turtles off of roads, etc etc etc.
I am going to go hug my cat now. And my fat garden toads, if they will let me :)
Meat consumption will always occur. Feeling like a hypocrite is understandable, I have little internal wars with myself on many issues. Since I wont stop eating meat, I can make better choices of how I go about doing it. Such as, choosing free range over animals shoved into small crates and abused for the sake of plumping them up. I stay away from Fast food places for that reason (other than Mighty Taco, yes, I am guilty).
I dont think that anyone can fully subscribe to a cause and follow through on all levels. What matters is that we do what we can, learn as much as we can, unlearn what we know and challenge ourselves to do, think, be better people.
(hmm, this was a chapter, but a whole lot more can be said.. )
And one last thing- cruelty to animals is a hallmark feature of Conduct Disorder (in kids), which becomes Antisocial Personality Disorder in adults. Yuck.