so, by the records kept here at the (e:strip)... it has been closer to ayear since i been here than from what whatever it is i been doin in the real world. Im not all that surprised...the past year have had about enough action for four or five years and through either exceptionally poor time management or an abundance of *shit* to do I am entirely weary....I am going to the doctor about it tomorrow: an appointment made on 4/20 in the hope of procuring some drug to relieve all my woes when alls i really need is a week off, and some sunshine and....well, you know. maybe some good company, but, not if it interrupts my sleeping. No, really... it sucks. Things are not finishing horribly well with school (whowasisaid 'all things must end poorly else they'd go on forever'? - had a tack on my past month or two) which has resulted in some strange brain fart, lethargic woes that make a pain in my stomach every morning and need for a couple of hours of thought drifting guilt heavy sleep...but...hell...if the doc wants to give me something for anxiety or for "pep" i would gladly take it. I'd take braincandy at this point just to go back to my happy place. I dunno what the next few days hold but from what i can guess i am not really looking forward to them. I hope all is well [or better] for all those out there in this chilly region...too all a good noose... i mean night...no, i meant noose.

who or what [referencing possible entities] designs sales that require the purchase of another item not on sale? I suppose it to be some new wave [or old wave - i'm not very observant these past 26 years] marketing ploy to get you in beyond the sales rack. i kind of like the idea, but, if these things are done with firm intent why not really up the ante and put things willy nilly throughout the store. my reference is to chocolate bars and marshmallows being on sale at target. Clearly, they are placed side by side...begging you to take them home [and then outside - safety first] and make s'mores...but wait. ALACK! BY JOVE- we need graham crackers and off we trundle for these crackers made of graham [wha?]. So. why not put them next to the intensely satisfying cheap DVD rack? graham crackers? you ask the associate. Oh yeh. they are over there... between life of brian and the collected episodes of pinky and the brain [which, btw, if this exists, someone please lemme know]. Great. and if you need any tothpaste, it's in the rack with the digital cameras. thanks red shirted helpful person in khaki slacks. there should be a campaign to have a "team" dress in red and khaki and infiltrate the target subsystem.. just give it a whirl and see how long till someone puts you to work. go fold the panties. here, carry this, where are the graham crackers? ha ha - see how that wraps back around? you think it's easy but its not. i never cared for s'mores the cereal or the microwave treat. It was always easier to start a fire, burn the shit out of the marshmallows and stick it into a chocolate contained in graham sandwich. Plus, then you have a fire. and that kicks ass.

read holly's quotation of milgram. There is video footage of the study out there somewhere.. dono if it be online or no...should also check out zimbardo's prison study (also with video). really changes your mind about the capability of managing individuality in a group and the limits of eprsonal responsibility. Great but in a horrific...oh fuck kind of way. Which needs a word of its own. a negativized great.

i once read that the easiest way to understand the difference between a liberal and a conservative is to monitor whether they choose to eat out or to stay home and cook. this being a borderline novel way to (re)examine one's social-political position in life i partook. then i decided there are better things to do, like cook some food or go out and eat some. last night the decision was to stay home for the evening meal. Then we had a grease fire that brought three big fire trucks to our apartment. gentlepersons one and all...live a little...go out for dinner. as we no longer have a functioning stove i know i will...

from time to time it stops matterring and i get the semi-familiar sense that i can do what i want. Like open a "business" that has making money at the sustenance or a little better level as a goal but a minor one. Just enough to maintain and slowly grow but never to a level that i can not maintain or i have people wanting to buy me out or expand...etc... what of it if it makes zero sense to 99 percent of the population... they can have their world just let me have mine. i want business model reform. had a lot more top say before i got here. oh well