01/14/09 10:03 - ID#47405

I've officially heard everything

I've been on the dreaded yahoo personals for sometime now with mixed results. I made a connection about a week ago and we are still in the phase of phone calling and made plans to get together in the flesh last night. The shitty weather put the kabosh on that. After dinner and whatnot, I got a call from one of the kids asking for a little help with something for school, so I walked down to the house and pitched in for an hour and staggered back to my seriously humble abode a little after 9.

I gave the connection a call to sort of touch base and firm up alternative plans. We exchanged pleasantries and she asked me what was going on. I told her about pitching in with a little homework. Somehow, and I still not sure, that transpired to being very strange in her eyes that I don't compartmentalize my time with the kids. She managed to take what I thought was a laudatory concept of helping my daughter build a project for school and turn it into I haven't moved on, is there room for somebody else in my life, I'll never take the time to get to know her (let alone she with a grown kid hasn't done that yet either) and to conclusions so vast I don't think Evil Knievel could have jumped them. She went on to demonize my ex for "having her cake and eating it too." The whackjob alarm is still ringing in my head. It was her day off so it was okay to play. She is off on Saturday night so that is the next window, but I'm the one with scheduling issues? What the hell. I could feel flat out anger rising in my voice and I don't like being that guy so I as politely as I could muster, left the conversation and angrily ate a few pretzels in front of an office re-run on TBS

I've heard of people getting criticized for not doing enough with kids and I never thought I'd catch hell for helping one of mine with her homework. Parenting isn't one of those things you shut on or of without messing the kids up. We've never had any real firm borders in that we believe we are doing it together.

Apparently, that caused her to reveal of mass of insecurities. Me, I'm thinking if this is how it's going to go, the first real date isn't worth planning. We haven't even been in each other's physical presence yet and already this turn has been taken.

So, it was over, before it began. So, I don't stuff my kids into a box during the week only to play with them on Fridays. Never thought I'd catch hell for being an active parent.

You win, Universe, I've officially heard it all now.

tinypliny writes at 05:00:10 01/23/09 - Comment #44801: That is harsh! Ditch that woman.

metalpeter writes at 04:02:15 01/17/09 - Comment #44564: Hi Mike. Lots of people left you all kinds of nice comments. I'll admit mine isn't going to be that way. I'm not going to attack you but I'm going to give you her or a perspective from someone who doesn't know all the details.

You say you went over to your kids house to help with their homework. If I heard that the first thing I would think is well this person has to help their adult kid with home work, um that is just messed up I wonder what issues are going on there. Then my next thought would be oh yeah that is right it is a kid who lives with the other parent. That would lead to wait why can't the parent the kid stays with do it. Then that leads to all kinds of thoughts like the person is still in contact with the ex, the kids are way more important then the parents own intersts. Maybe home work in the excuse to go have fun with the ex. As A guy I can see why a chick might flip out. If homework was more importent then me then do I want to be with this person. Two other factors, there are a lot of parents out there that don't help kids with homework they do it for them (mostly projects). Some parents think that the only way a kid will learn is to do things on there own. If she had a kid and her parenting style was a lot different then yours then you wouldn't have gotten along anyways (for a sort of example of this watch Wife Swap). I get why you are upset though, having someone attack your parenting would piss anyone off (again if any of you who don't have kids don't get it, go watch wife swap and see some real life example). Hopefully the next person you meet works out better.

vincent writes at 11:13:35 01/14/09 - Comment #44502: In this time of year trying to find someone to start a new relationship is trying to find a diamond ring in the muck. People subconsciously are just trying to find someone to latch on to for "that day" on Feb 14th ;-)

Serioulsy I was tempted to open a match.com acct with my leftover debit card, but then hesitated at the very thought of the mania of desperate people looking for some warm body for V-Day.

I'd just wait until March.

theecarey writes at 07:10:31 01/14/09 - Comment #44495: eh, keep doing what you are doing. Seems like whatever is going on is more about her having unaddressed personal issues than that of anything going on with you/yours etc. Good to have that early warning flag arise before an official date.

Internet dating is viable. Never know what and who you will meet, but it is good to have all options open. Perhaps if you had met this woman elsewhere, it would have been awhile before this nugget of weirdness arose.

And to that, glad you turned her away. There are plenty of people who would have kept at it for all the wrong reasons!

jason writes at 03:45:17 01/14/09 - Comment #44493: "Compartmentalize" time with kids? What the fuck is that? I'd rather have a parent like you than a parent like her.

jbeatty writes at 02:18:44 01/14/09 - Comment #44492: Sounds like you need to get out of the internet dating scene for a while and pick up a few barflies.

leetee writes at 01:37:25 01/14/09 - Comment #44491: To me, you wanting to be involved with your children makes you a more appealling person. Certainly endears you in my eyes.

joshua writes at 12:58:02 01/14/09 - Comment #44487: Wow - so someone who doesn't know shit about parenting (evidentally) judging your desire to help your kid with homework, without compartmentalizing your time with said kid? This lady is a sociopath and you did well to treat her as she deserved.

james writes at 12:52:56 01/14/09 - Comment #44485: congrats! You just saved a ton of time, money, and emotional investment. If going over to help one of the kids with homework opened up a shit storm of emotional baggage, just imagine how terrible it would have been had you actually started dating?

You dodged a bullet my friend.

drew writes at 10:59:27 01/14/09 - Comment #44479: I would have loved it if while she freaked out on the phone, you just called out, "Next!" And then hung up. Don't waste any more time with her.