So I realized how alone I am over the last few weeks & it just struck me suddenly. I'm getting old let's say pushing upper 30's and my potential pool of possible women out there are next to nil. I could have written this book Basically the market for my demographic is very thing & I have known that for more than a decade. I should have moved to DC or Toronto years ago basically is the captain obvious answer to my own problem.

Although at this point of my life, I am not too depressed about it. I've gone through enough horrible experiences in dealing with people who are desperate. It's just lately I have also been smacked in the face with the fact that class has a more of an impact now that it ever has in my lifetime. Now that I drive a Benz, the impact of how people perceive me is finally smacking me in the face. I guess I have been the most low key now old "rich kid." I guess if I was 15 years younger & likewise my parents I would have grown up to be a douche. But I probably have the lowest self opinion of any luxury car driver? LOL

Anyway I think I should start blogging again. My cousin took a month off of Facebook & it seems to be going well for her. I do like the way that people are posting videos on Facebook & this 24 hour challenge thing is kind of funny. Although to be honest people were doing the same thing here in '06. For me I am just torn & confused on where to go and what to do. Not just for what to do with my lonely self in real life but also online.

Other than that I contemplating blowing money on match.com or even the other site howaboutwe.com. I like the concept of howaboutwe but to be honest there isn't enough people in Western New York to justify it being the most expensive dating site. Sometimes blowing money is far worse than getting rejected digitally over and over again.

So this is how it was advertised when the Allendale Theater showed porn?

I caught this graphic on the wall of the new music venue The Waiting Room. They also had some old show fliers and other Buffalo music scene stuff on their one wall as well.

I'm just watching the Coachella a feed on youtube and I have to say I'm kicking myself for not going for week #2 as I'm off, but I already booked a trip down to the SRQ in Florida. I caught Spiritualized, Phoenix, Social Distortion & right now Paul Oakenfold. One of my best experiences in my life was a random trip to California which had me end up at Epicenter.

Anyways in watching a clip of Father John Misty I read something from his Wiki page that just nailed my earlier life.

On his upbringing Tillman stated: "I was actually a pretty aimless kid, I didn’t really do anything: I never really studied hard and all my parents were interested in was my spiritual status. When I was younger my reality was heaven and hell and angels and all this bullshit that doesn’t mean anything in terms of becoming an actualised human being."

So true, I should be more of an actualized human being instead of worrying about making stupid money decisions & other crap that I do and do not deal with...

I'm just watching the Coachell[youtube]coachella[/youtube]a feed on youtube and I have to say I'm kicking myself for not going for week #2 as I'm off, but I already booked a trip down to the SRQ in Florida. I caught Spiritualized, Phoenix, Social Distortion & right now Paul Oakenfold. One of my best experiences in my life was a random trip to California which had me end up at Epicenter.

Anyways in watching a clip of Father John Misty I read something from his Wiki page that just nailed my earlier life.

On his upbringing Tillman stated: "I was actually a pretty aimless kid, I didn’t really do anything: I never really studied hard and all my parents were interested in was my spiritual status. When I was younger my reality was heaven and hell and angels and all this bullshit that doesn’t mean anything in terms of becoming an actualised human being."

So true, I should be more of an actualized human being instead of worrying about making stupid money decisions & other crap that I do and do not deal with...

It's just odd as I think this will be the first Thanksgiving "home" (I will be across the street) in years, actually maybe a decade. This is totally an odd feeling. I guess in a way we've come a long way. Although my life has not been perfect especially in 3+ years, I guess I do have a lot to be thankful for this year.

Well for once I have a descent job at my age & I most likely will be working until the end of the year. Yes, a part of me wishes that I was furloughed so I could hang with the trust fund kids & wealthy old people in Sarasota, but I'm working Overtime & making nice extra money to boot. That is a paramount difference between me and the 66% of the people in the working poor underclass. Just think of the people in the cross fire between Black Friday shoppers and the unfortunate souls who work at Wal Mart.

I enjoy every minute I can when I'm down there. I guess from 2-3 years ago when I was flying down there every month on AirTran in business class (I miss this experience SO MUCH :`-/ ) I remember vividly the conversations with people 10-15 years older than me reminiscing about their days in the SRQ coming to an end as one parent passed away & then the surviving parent just can't keep it up any longer or sold the place & is going into assisted living, ect. You can have some amazing conversations with single serving friends flying into and out of that airport.

So when I'm down there for hopefully more than a week (most likely using my own vacation time) I'll savor the beach, tourist bars, my parents church, stores and overall culture (good & bad) to the best of my ability. I'll have to make sure I do everything and not pass on things like I did last year. A shining example of this would be going to a Tampa Bay Lightning game last year as we have no clue on how long it will be until we see Hockey again.