It's back with a vengeance. Will I just now go completely deaf in my right ear? It woke me out of my sleep last night which had never happened before.... This concerns me because sleep is the one escape from tinnitus that I have. I honestly would rather go deaf in my right ear than hear this shit forever.

I picked up a few extra shifts at work this week, which is great for the savings plan but somewhat disturbing to mental state. Some golfers brought escorts with them on the course yesterday. One of the women tool her panties off and put them on this man's head right on front of me. I was working the back shop right before the 9th hole.... These people were drunk. I don't like being exposed to that at work because I feel it encourages men to act inappropriately with me as well. I'm all for a good time, but I take work seriously and don't appreciate sexually charged comments directed towards me while I'm trying to make money. Anywho.... Interesting day.

Tomorrow is my day off thank god. I thought golf was a classy type sport... You would be surprised at all of the strange things people tell me.


Let us pray the ringing will stop. :(

i am convinced that only bad comes from being too informed of current events and happenings around the world.

the news is such a biased and terror invoking experience for me... the more i know, the more convinced i am that i will get bombed or that i am dying of some terminal illness.

all of this makes me want to just get rid of technology and live on an island with my family and friends only... i'm sure (e:mike) is the same way. i really hate the doctor and dentist and every medical experience ever, except working at a hospital because that was fun at times.

perhaps my exposure to so many sick and diseased people has made me paranoid. i'm still convinced i'm dying of something, and this won't change.

so now, i feel like i'm probably just severely mentally ill. that has to be the real issue here...

and now switching gears... when i started serving i would get so nervous being watched and having to be at ease and hospitable with golfers, but now i actually really like it. i was telling my aunt about serving and she said she missed being able to talk to all kinds of people... i think that is what i love most about my job. we get people who come from all over the world, and i get to have a glimpse into their lives. it makes me excited about the future and traveling. i love learning about new places and getting to know people. i feel like it is such a good quality to have, being able to converse with strangers and make them feel at ease. it has really helped me to be less stand-offish and shy around new people.

i think people assume that i am really uppity and bitchy when i keep to myself and it is really of mix of me actually feeling nervous around new people and also not hearing half of what is going on. i've learned to just be upfront about my hearing loss and what a difference it makes to just tell people, "hey, i'm deaf, i wear hearing aids."

i got a credit card the other day, and i have 1/5 of my savings goal. being done with school and only having work is like the easiest thing ever. i can actually make money and save it!

i'm gonna take over the world bitches!

I was early to rise... Not sure if it made me wise or healthy and wealthy but whateve.


Woke at 5 after waking up every two hours for 8 hours thinking I might have slept too long. Then had weird dreams all night.


Went into work 10 min late to a massive flood I. The kitchen... Water everywhere. Apparently it was 3 inches at its deepest. When I arrived it was a cool inch of water and then also water covering every counter top and shelf, no big.


Proceeded to act like nothing was wrong to all the golfers and served up coffees and drinks to go.


Then proceeded to work until about 430 with no sitting or breaks to pee or eat from 1130 on. I think this place is helping me lose weight... But it's also kinda like being a worker in the third world except that I net 12-50 an hour depending on how good of a day it is. Today I made some nice monies which I then deposited in the savings. I like this feeling. I kinda wanna take out all my savings in ones and just make it rain for a bit.

After the flood was settled things got interesting again. I'm pretty sure a swinger couple is trying to something with me and this is odd. Also, one awesome guy from Cleveland asked if the cart girl was a man. This is is the second time in a week someone made a man reference about her. She hates me so much because well, idk, and then I saw her drinking on the clock and be gross with that guy so i'm really afraid she might hurt me. She is seriously mad buff and I am a pansy.

I officially love Canadians and especially Canadian golfers... They are so well mannered and seem to be interesting well educated people. Everyone had told me they don't tip well but then I tell them I am part French Canadian and from Buffalo and they love it and I getz thee good tipz from themz.


I literally cannot remember what this post was about so I'm done writing and shall go to bed because I'm confused about what's going on. And by bed I mean play plants vs. zombies for a long time because I am obsessed with that game. #thuglife

It was such a great day at work yesterday... Instated busy but never felt stressed like I was gonna walk out of that bish... And I made a ton of money. Why can't that be everyday????


Now the real issue is I feel so unmotivated to find a other job even though it will slow down soon. I feel like I can't stand phx anymore but now I should stay to help my mom and watch her house while she travels.

I feel just like I did before I left blo and I'm just over it. What to do....


I suppose I should stick with the original plan of saving tons of money first. Perhaps I'm too picky about dating and I should just go with a basic... Ugh I just can't. But it would be so nice to meet someone who is emotionally stable, educated, and likes to be social... And is tall and attractive, duh. I'll be ready to reproduce one to two babies in a few years and if my man don't show up soon ima have to adopt an Asian or African baby. It has seriously been my dream for like 10 years to have a multicultural multi ethnocentric family... We are going to eat lots of different kinds of yummy food and have a family drum circle. Plus, we will all love hip hop music and Bob Marley.

I am really putting off getting ready for work because I worked almost 11 hrs yesterday and I'm tired and would rather go back to bed.

Maybe later I'll actually post something of substance... But my brain has turned to mush since graduation and all I do is think about nails and fashion and beauty products. I also like to think about working out and rarely ever follow through... This will change though. Singularity will happen in our lifetime... That was just a random check to see if people read this far- fools!!!!!

This is about me and work, not the show. Omg my work just gets better and worse everyday.


Like in, the tale of two cities, it's the best and worst of times!


People think I don't notice but I know everyone's crazy shiz and people just tell me stuff they shouldn't.

Today a customer grabbed my coworker between the legs and she liked it and sat on his lap while I uncomfortably sat rolling silverware just a few feet away. Then my coworker proceeded to pour a strong drink in front of my boss and mosey on down to the fire pit bar.


I have serious issues with this chick because she lets golfers say ad do whatever on the course when she works the beverage cart and then they come in for food and drinks expecting a show and a little slap and tickle. Um no, I can be flirty and cute but let's keep in classy.

Apparently this chick has been seen kissing the ass grabber guy... And apparently you don't get fired at my work for drinking on the job.


Bottoms up!