My friend's stag was this past weekend. Honestly I wasn't sure if it was going to be all that cool, it being a party designed to separate fools from their money and all, but it ended up being pretty fun. Beer and food = most guys are happy. Simple equation. This must be a Buffalo/WNY thing. None of my friends had similar parties. I brought a Jenna Jameson DVD to raffle off and that bad boy went FAST. Couldn't have been prouder with my selection. How can you say no to a "choose your own angle" feature?
The girlfriend was also in town, not for the stag or anything, as she told me she didn't know how to dance, heh, but we did get a little bit of time together. Things are getting more serious, and we're talking about the future. What will happen next year? The year after? Having witnessed my friend JV go through this process, I told her if one day I get married I refuse to have a big ceremony, refuse to have a shower (another shameless marriage benefit), and refuse to throw a party at some reception hall. I
The whole process resembles some jejune conformist nightmare. Seriously, outside the awesome wedding of (e:Ladycroft) and (e:Rory) aren't they all the same? Why does everyone have to go through the same BS process? Since when was going deeply into debt, for the satisfaction of knowing you have a bigger diamond, more lavish party, better cake, a requirement to be a married couple? I've thought of registering my protest by wearing the same shirt and tie every time. Same haircut.
Anyway, my girlfriend said something very interesting to me. It should have been obvious to me, but when you think about all of the photographers (love me some (e:dcoffee), you don't count, man), reception halls, caterers, mens and womens clothing, invitations....there is actually an industry dedicated to the perpetuation of this awful paradigm. I wonder what is more true. Does the industry thrive because people WANT to go through the pain in the ass? Does the industry thrive on appealing to us emotionally, making us feel like our relationship has less value if we don't do it the "right" way? Or is it peer pressure?
She also said she doesn't want to have another (cough) big to-do. This was such a huge relief for me. It's going to sound bad, okay, I'm not going to pretend it sounds lovely but the good thing about dating someone who's already had her day in the sun is that I'm off the hook, no dealing with the aforementioned pain in the ass. The only thing I would want is one good dinner with my boys, maybe some golf and cards. Whether it is this situation or another, I want to just go away somewhere, minimal number of people, middle of nowhere. Maybe on a beach. I'm sorry for saying it but I feel more connected spiritually in nature instead of in a hot church building. Don't you?
It sounds awfully close to me saying I'm ready for the next step but it is still way too early to do anything other than poke around the issue. Can't believe I'm talking about this. Anyway, I'm very thankful for what I have in my life. Very thankful. I have been so blessed this year. I think I've met my match. She cares about the little things that make life interesting and fun, which I had lost sight of for years. Life is great, people! You have to unplug, detach yourself from the day to day so-called "existence". You make yourself happy by happily investing in other people and other experiences. You feel fulfilled by participating in someone else's fulfillment - and really giving it your best. Even if this falls apart tomorrow I will still be blessed because of everything I've learned.
Jason's Journal
My Podcast Link
08/03/2010 16:38 #52358
Fight Capitalism - Don't MarryCategory: potpourri
07/12/2010 15:06 #52156
Summer DrinksCategory: potpourri
I've forgotten how much I enjoy mixing drinks. I'm pretty good at it too. What is your favorite summer beverage of choice?
jenks - 07/18/10 11:22
Mm, I second the dark and stormy.
Last night had a "diplomat"- with some some venezuelan aged rum, stoli vanilla, and passionfruit juice. Sounds like a weird combo, but it was good. (and I hate rum).
Then had a blood orange bourbon sour.
Like a whiskey sour.
Delish.
but I drink so little these days, that that practically had me under the table. lol.
Mm, I second the dark and stormy.
Last night had a "diplomat"- with some some venezuelan aged rum, stoli vanilla, and passionfruit juice. Sounds like a weird combo, but it was good. (and I hate rum).
Then had a blood orange bourbon sour.
Like a whiskey sour.
Delish.
but I drink so little these days, that that practically had me under the table. lol.
tinypliny - 07/15/10 08:21
So no one likes the 007 Vesper?
So no one likes the 007 Vesper?
jbeatty - 07/13/10 22:11
Favorite is still German Wiessbier. However for liquor I do love Pernod mixed with water
Dark and Stormy (Black Rum mixed with ginger beer)
Favorite is still German Wiessbier. However for liquor I do love Pernod mixed with water
Dark and Stormy (Black Rum mixed with ginger beer)
metalpeter - 07/13/10 18:39
haven't had one in a long time but maybe a frozen Stawberry Daquai ?
haven't had one in a long time but maybe a frozen Stawberry Daquai ?
chico - 07/12/10 21:52
Recipe for the Dirty G&T (NYTimes) :::link:::
Crack the ice, seriously. Pain in the ass but gives great results.
Recipe for the Dirty G&T (NYTimes) :::link:::
Crack the ice, seriously. Pain in the ass but gives great results.
chico - 07/12/10 21:50
--our drink this summer:
cherry vodka and soda with a twist of lime and lemon
--last summer:
light mojito (made with Splenda -- sounds awful but in proper proportions not bad at all, provided plenty of fresh mint)
--in a past life:
dirty gin and tonic (think 5 limes, chopped and muddled, in a pitcher of gin and tonic)
--non-alcoholic indulgences:
Icee (cherry + Coke); see also Slurpee
Shaken Iced Tea w/Lemonade at Starbucks (damn you SB)
Spot Slush (new convert)
--our drink this summer:
cherry vodka and soda with a twist of lime and lemon
--last summer:
light mojito (made with Splenda -- sounds awful but in proper proportions not bad at all, provided plenty of fresh mint)
--in a past life:
dirty gin and tonic (think 5 limes, chopped and muddled, in a pitcher of gin and tonic)
--non-alcoholic indulgences:
Icee (cherry + Coke); see also Slurpee
Shaken Iced Tea w/Lemonade at Starbucks (damn you SB)
Spot Slush (new convert)
vincent - 07/12/10 21:20
Bud Light or Miller Chill. If I'm in Canada one of those Smirnoff Ice coolers that are made with REAL VODKA!
Bud Light or Miller Chill. If I'm in Canada one of those Smirnoff Ice coolers that are made with REAL VODKA!
icarus - 07/12/10 18:40
RedBull + Three Olives = Keef Blood
RedBull + Three Olives = Keef Blood
enknot - 07/12/10 17:31
Ok really. beer.
Ok really. beer.
tinypliny - 07/12/10 15:32
Cold coffee with mascarpone and topped with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cocoa powder and nutmeg.
Cold coffee with mascarpone and topped with whipped cream and a sprinkle of cocoa powder and nutmeg.
06/14/2010 08:28 #51883
Got Another Parking TicketCategory: potpourri
Dear City of Buffalo,
It's always annoyed me that we have to pay a "convenience fee" for paying a parking ticket online. Bush league man, Bush league.
It's always annoyed me that we have to pay a "convenience fee" for paying a parking ticket online. Bush league man, Bush league.
mrmike - 06/14/10 08:59
What are they, ticketmaster
What are they, ticketmaster
06/11/2010 02:33 #51850
Bachelor PartyCategory: potpourri
I love Orlando. Sun, gorgeous girls, and plenty of booze. I wish I could tell you what went on tonight but what I will say is my man got his ass paddled. Three girls, then they gave ME the paddle, it was like winning the Super Bowl. I smoked him with that paddle big time. Pray he never gets revenge. I laughed so hard.
metalpeter - 06/11/10 18:15
I think they where supposed to Paddle you next or you them, HA. In any event Hope it was a great time it sounds like it was and will be a great time still to come.
I think they where supposed to Paddle you next or you them, HA. In any event Hope it was a great time it sounds like it was and will be a great time still to come.
05/26/2010 13:49 #51731
FB BirthdaysCategory: potpourri
All of you who use FB know it informs you of upcoming birthdays. I don't know anyone's birthday, except for Jerry, so this is a tool I can use. The thing is I usually end up forgetting to send a Happy Birthday note anyway, which presents an issue. Is someone going to be pissed because I left someone else a Happy Birthday note and didn't leave them a note as well? What ends up happening is I don't leave ANYONE a birthday note. FB presents us will all kinds of potentially awkward scenarios like this. I wonder if I've left any of you a Happy Birthday note.
metalpeter - 05/27/10 17:55
(e:rory) has a great Idea. I think that many people who would never pay for facebook would pay for that. There however is one key that they would have to make sure of, other wise it wouldn't work. The ones that are paid for have to look exactly like the greetings that aren't paid for. If they didn't one could tell the difference and that would defeat the entire purpose.
(e:rory) has a great Idea. I think that many people who would never pay for facebook would pay for that. There however is one key that they would have to make sure of, other wise it wouldn't work. The ones that are paid for have to look exactly like the greetings that aren't paid for. If they didn't one could tell the difference and that would defeat the entire purpose.
joshua - 05/27/10 11:58
Haha! I agree with the sentiment that trying to keep up with it all will make you go crazy and there should be a better way. I don't really think about it too much - I wish people a happy birthday when I see that they have one, but I don't obsess about hitting every single friend with a BD wish. Maybe this is a lazy and inconsiderate sentiment I just laid down as well.
Haha! I agree with the sentiment that trying to keep up with it all will make you go crazy and there should be a better way. I don't really think about it too much - I wish people a happy birthday when I see that they have one, but I don't obsess about hitting every single friend with a BD wish. Maybe this is a lazy and inconsiderate sentiment I just laid down as well.
rory - 05/27/10 11:47
Why can't FB automatically wish people a happy birthday on your behalf? Would make things easier. You could categorise your friends so that it knows what level of greeting to send someone - build in a big enough library of greetings and bingo!
This could be extended to Mother/Father days (if they happen to be on there), anniversaries, easter, xmas/religious holiday of choice, valentines etc.
People would pay for that too. Ask for 5 bucks a year for as many messages as you want and you're onto a winner I reckon.
Or am I just lazy and inconsiderate?
Why can't FB automatically wish people a happy birthday on your behalf? Would make things easier. You could categorise your friends so that it knows what level of greeting to send someone - build in a big enough library of greetings and bingo!
This could be extended to Mother/Father days (if they happen to be on there), anniversaries, easter, xmas/religious holiday of choice, valentines etc.
People would pay for that too. Ask for 5 bucks a year for as many messages as you want and you're onto a winner I reckon.
Or am I just lazy and inconsiderate?
vincent - 05/26/10 21:51
No you didn't wish me one. It's kind of weird getting a well wish from someone that I haven't spoken to or seen in person in a decade and a half and not getting one from someone whom I interact with on a constant basis. If anything for all of the evil and creepiness that is fb, they do that one thing very well. It was a pain in the ass scrolling 7 months back to check, they need a calender like we do over here by month.
To be honest I write on other peoples wall to wish them a happy B-Day to at least given them a reason to write on mine. It's like going to other people's wakes hoping that someone other people notice and show up to your funeral. In the end no offense taken, I had a good night and had fun.
No you didn't wish me one. It's kind of weird getting a well wish from someone that I haven't spoken to or seen in person in a decade and a half and not getting one from someone whom I interact with on a constant basis. If anything for all of the evil and creepiness that is fb, they do that one thing very well. It was a pain in the ass scrolling 7 months back to check, they need a calender like we do over here by month.
To be honest I write on other peoples wall to wish them a happy B-Day to at least given them a reason to write on mine. It's like going to other people's wakes hoping that someone other people notice and show up to your funeral. In the end no offense taken, I had a good night and had fun.
metalpeter - 05/26/10 17:50
Well Jay I didn't want to get into this but since you brought it up you nor your bro left me anything For my birthday, and I was fucking Crushed. I had this Plan to go out and get wasted and whisper in the first cute girls ear a saw, Hi it is my birthday would you like to see my suit? Hey one of the ladies it would at some point work on, but no I was at home Balling my eyes out, listening to enya, HA. Then I found some goth music to embrace the sadness but what the fuck I was all out of candles, Argh, HA.
What I do Facebook wise is if I'm online and It is say that day then I do the Birthday thing. If it says like 2 days away and I'm not sure If I'll be online then I'll do the early thing.
This is my guess and this is different from Person To Person. The way they might get upset is if you know both people and they know each other also. Since they know each other they for sure know every status update and every thing that goes on both on and off facebook.
I think to most people it isn't a big deal really if you don't do the birthday thing. Some people do , wind up thanking like everyone for the wishes and some do like the one post about it. I would also add that if you aren't say online that day it is less of a big deal.
If you haven't done so all ready this might be a good thing to post on facebook also.......
Oh Yeah I'm same way on birthday's I couldn't tell you a single (e:peep)'s Birthday other then to say that I thought there was one who is born on Halloween and not even sure if that is right.
Well Jay I didn't want to get into this but since you brought it up you nor your bro left me anything For my birthday, and I was fucking Crushed. I had this Plan to go out and get wasted and whisper in the first cute girls ear a saw, Hi it is my birthday would you like to see my suit? Hey one of the ladies it would at some point work on, but no I was at home Balling my eyes out, listening to enya, HA. Then I found some goth music to embrace the sadness but what the fuck I was all out of candles, Argh, HA.
What I do Facebook wise is if I'm online and It is say that day then I do the Birthday thing. If it says like 2 days away and I'm not sure If I'll be online then I'll do the early thing.
This is my guess and this is different from Person To Person. The way they might get upset is if you know both people and they know each other also. Since they know each other they for sure know every status update and every thing that goes on both on and off facebook.
I think to most people it isn't a big deal really if you don't do the birthday thing. Some people do , wind up thanking like everyone for the wishes and some do like the one post about it. I would also add that if you aren't say online that day it is less of a big deal.
If you haven't done so all ready this might be a good thing to post on facebook also.......
Oh Yeah I'm same way on birthday's I couldn't tell you a single (e:peep)'s Birthday other then to say that I thought there was one who is born on Halloween and not even sure if that is right.
jenks - 05/26/10 15:43
I would not be offended, for one. I am a little compulsive about birthdays- but really I just put them in my calendar. It's not like I can remember them. But I know most people don't. But so if people say something, it's awesome, but I don't blame them if they forget. And now with FB it's so easy- a friend said "bet you thought I'd forget", and I said 'not with fb to remind you'. haha.
There's actually a someecard that says 'happy birthday to the one friend whose birthday i can remember without a facebook reminder', which I think is pretty appropriate. haha.
I would not be offended, for one. I am a little compulsive about birthdays- but really I just put them in my calendar. It's not like I can remember them. But I know most people don't. But so if people say something, it's awesome, but I don't blame them if they forget. And now with FB it's so easy- a friend said "bet you thought I'd forget", and I said 'not with fb to remind you'. haha.
There's actually a someecard that says 'happy birthday to the one friend whose birthday i can remember without a facebook reminder', which I think is pretty appropriate. haha.
libertad - 05/26/10 13:50
Another great reason for me not to join FB.
Another great reason for me not to join FB.
Thanks you all. It isn't the easiest situation actually, far from it, complicated enough where I can only talk about things in the vaguest of terms. I am happy though all things considered.
1. Stags are fun
2. If you ever don't want to have one send the stripers I mean dancers to me, HA
3. You are so right about the industry. I think this point should be used as a way to get all those companies to push for the Same Sex Marriage, so they can make more money
That being said All that stuff is very costly. I think more people should do some kind of special thing. If two people meat at a Japanese food place then get married at a Japanese Garden. If they meet at some Tarnetino movie and they are both big fans, then have a 50's weeding, and get a rockabilly band. The point I'm getting to is that it should be special for both people.
Glad you are happy.......
aw jay, I love hearing you so happy. :) Congrats, man!
As far as weddings... yeah, the 'industry' makes me a little sick. (and just spend a little time watching "Bridezillas" and "Say yes to the Dress" and "Platinum Weddings" if you want to be disgusted, fast).
But I also think there's a difference between 'traditional' and 'over the top'. I.e. just because you get married in a church and have a reception doesn't have to mean you buy into all that. Because at the end of the day- it's a party to celebrate your relationship. A PARTY. Not the be-all, end-all. Not like how happy your relationship will be depends on how big your party is. And I think going into major debt over it is just stupid.
But I particularly agree about diamonds. It seems all girls want to know is 'oooh, how big is your diamond' which is just so tacky. If you're on a budget, it seems your options are either some tiny/crappy cheapo discount diamond (just to have a diamond), or if you're willing to go non-diamond, all of the sudden the world opens up and you can have something gorgeous and original.
Anyway... sorry for the long comment, but I've been having a lot of these thoughts myself lately too.
You should just go for the intimate outdoor style wedding. At least that's what I would pick. Its nice to hear you sounding happy.
Awesome Jason, glad things are going well with you. I hate weddings too, they really make me gag (with the exception of (e:ladycroft) and (e:rory)).