...but if you don't, we'll send the deformed babies in person next time.

Cleft palate is a serious problem, and they say they can fix it in 45 minutes for only $250. That's amazing! It boggles my mind. But am I the only person who sees an implied threat to send unsettling photos until I pay up?

- Z

Is this awesome?
[ ] YES!
[ ] NO.

(Check one.)



- Z

The thing about living in Buffalo is that you always need to take visitors to Niagara Falls. Now I actually like going to Niagara Falls, but this past summer we ended up taking two sets of people there on two consecutive weekends. When you get that much Niagara Falls, the eye tends to wander. And it doesn't have to wander far before it starts to see how much schlock you can get.

One of the things they'll try to sell you is a green-screen photo of you in front of Niagara Falls. You could just walk across the street and take as many pictures as you want of the real thing - for free - but I guess some people would rather pay cash for a dorky simulation. Now, thanks to technology,* you can get a dorky simulation for free!

::Download Flash SWF::

0. If the Flash app isn't directly above this, go here
1. Allow camera access, if necessary.
2. Get out of the camera frame.
3. Click 'Background.'
4. Use the slider to move the background, and adjust the threshold if necessary.
5. Say cheese, and click 'Save.'
6. There you go, you just saved eight bucks.

- Z

_______________

• Adobe Pixel Bender

Two items.

1: Brian May is an astrophysicist. How did I miss this?

2: Somebody screwed up a little:


- Z

I've had a number of visitors from out-of-town ask me: 'Why is it that you call your highways The 33, The 198, The 90, The 190, The 290 ... when everywhere else in the world they would simply call them 33, 198, 90, 190, 290?' To which I respond: 'fuck if I know.'

I have a hypothesis, but it's pretty weak. The highways used to have names [I guess technically they still do]: The Kensington Expressway, The Scajaquada Expressway, The Thruway, The Niagara Extension, The Youngmann Highway, which naturally got shortened to The Kensington, The Scajaquada, The Youngmann. But there's hardly any signs that say their names, which only geezers know anyway. So they went to being the... the, you know, 290, which is only a short trip to 'The 290.'

But that doesn't really explain The 219 and The 400, especially when there's Route 5 and Route 20, but only 990 and 20A. It also doesn't explain why Canada has 'The QEW' and 'The 401.'

The only other idea I've got is that the Great Lakes chapter of the Illuminati, convinced by the success of their 'pop' campaign, are teaming up with the Newfoundland division to come up with new and innovative ways to make us all sound like yokels.

- Z