Some poor fucker brought a handle of Old Grand-Dad to the camp which we had to dispose of. It's a testament to the perseverance of the human spirit that the bottle was already half-empty when I got there one week into the event, but with one day left before packing up, we needed to figure something out. Enter (e:dragonlady7) and the #1 invention of the year: The Old Granddadtini*. Using several cans of Dr Pepper, a few bottles of sparkling cider, a fair amount of sour mix, and a smattering of triple sec, brandy, Mountain Dew, and anything else we needed to get rid of, she bent the laws of space-time physics to make Old Grand-Dad palatable --nay, delicious-- to enough people that we finished the bottle in only a couple of hours. The bartender was offering free upgrades to the Ballsacktini, which someone jokingly ordered and inadvertently received. Upon finding out, he drank the whole thing out of spite.
Another night, one of the tiki torches we used to light the road got busted and, with the help of a rubber band and a bottle of Stella, turned into Best Invention #2, the Beeki Torch. It earns points for majestic splendor, but loses points for practicality.
Deciding that there were too many Daves in camp [two], we founded the House of Daves. Our coat of arms [still under development] is Dave rampant sinister, Dave drinking dexter, beeki torches supporting. We have no constitution, but we have a number of amendments that start at number three because one and two seemed too important to use right away. I guess it doesn't matter because I can't remember them anyway. We also have the House of Daves Ladies Auxiliary which historically predates the House of Daves itself. And, using the closest item available [a monk-shaped dildo], we dubbed a knight John Henry David of the House of Daves based on his outstanding service to the Ladies Auxiliary [back massages].
Thus was a good time had by all. I'm glad I have the weekend to recuperate.
- Z
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- People would stop by our bar and ask for some ridiculous *tini drink. The bartender on duty would remind them that this was a pirate bar, and thus lacked things like Midori, Malibu, &c., whereupon they would ask for a Sex on the Beach. Hence the name.
House of Daves would be so much better than House of Cosbys.
Also we used those monk-shaped dildos for cock-fighting, don't forget.
:D