So recently I went back and re-read one of my favorite books that really moved me when I was 'younger' - The Celestine Prophacy. It's an absolutely excellent book that I highly recommend - action, adventure and spirituality.

The chapter of the book that moved me the most was about control dramas. There are four types and every person has their own favorite one that they learn in their childhood which is in response to their parents' control dramas.

The book explains a control drama as the way that we steal 'energy' from each other. I can't think of a good term to replace with energy if you don't like that word.

The four types:-

Intimidator - uses physical or mental threats, dominates.

Interogator - questions people to find out about their life and then criticises them.

Aloof - plays it cool, mysterious almost, sits back and wait for people to approach and talk to them.

Victim - makes you feel guilty for how you treat them.



I personally am an intimidator.

What are you?


I just find it interesting to recognize what category you fall into and be aware when you are doing it. Does it make you want to stop playing into your control drama? Why do you need a control drama anyway?

I can't believe its just been over three years since my last entry! I would like to think that I will come back with full force to write regularly but I suppose only time will tell...

In living in Edinburgh, Scotland for just about a year and a half although my only intentions are to live here permanently the question of the day is - is the grass greener in Edinburgh as opposed to Buffalo. People make big life changing decisions because they believe that it will make them happier but is my life happier with all that I have given up to live in this society?

The main reasons for moving here were for my Hamish (husband), the most beautiful city I've ever seen, health care and vacation time (minimum 4 weeks plus about 9 public holidays).

Hamish is certainly a good match and a very attentive partner. He more than lives up to the expectations that I had.

Edinburgh continues to be completely enchanting with more than plenty to keep me busy and entertained.

Sure, I have 'lots' of vacation time but all of the time is spent going back to Buffalo. I had thought that I would be taking elaborate vacations all over western Europe but actually I haven't gone anywhere 'exotic' since my big move.

There is also the issue of missing my closest kin! There is nothing more satisfying and comforting than being around people that are like-minded. I haven't found very many of these people here, not that they aren't nice but just can't say that I feel all that connected to them.

So was the move worth it? - I guess that I don't feel there was much of a choice for the direction my life was taking. I feel satisfied but there are definitely struggles that will never be overcome when it comes to missing homebase and the people that are there.

Hey fellow strippers! I have made it here safe and sound. Things are going well. I have only had one real day of temp work and have one more tomorrow which was lucky. The kid I was filling in for got sick so they are letting me stay on an extra day, originally I was filling in so he could go to a conference. I need the money, as I am still job searching!!! It is a little frustrating, i am just hoping that something will come through soon.

For those who have not been to Anchorage, its not a pretty sight. The city is ugly and spread out. It makes Buffalo look beautiful, ya I know! The mountains are fantastic. The view from my window is kinda funny. There are these huge beautiful mountains with a huge Wall-Mart in the foreground. Looks silly.

There are plenty of military folk here. I have thank them for introducing me to an ice luge (sp???). It is the most amazing thing I've ever seen. I am going to bring the idea home to Buffalo. It's a huge block of ice set up on an angle with 2 path ways dug into it. 2 people put their mouth at the edge of the block and 2 people pour shots down it. I have a picture or 2. I will have to share. I highly recommend it. The best thing since peer pong!

Oooh and I have a moose story too! Last week my cuz & I were walking down her street and at the end of her street are huge snow banks you can't see around. My cuz came face to face with a moose standing right there. I was just behind her. She ran the other way. I just wanted to pet it!!!

This weekend we should be heading to a nearby town for a little day trip, I will be sure to bring my camera.

Hope all is well with the rest of the e-strippers.

"Off the Wall" 10pm, be there

We might move onto Frizzy's after???

It's gunna be craziness, that's all I know!

So I took the trip that most e-strippers would love to...Amsteram. It was pretty good and very interesting. I have never been in such an "anything goes" type city. The best part was that it didn't have a seedy (sp?) feel to it. It had a great atmostphere except for when people were saying "coke, estascy...coke estascy..." almost as if it were a song. The prostitutes were really pretty most of them. It's like a fun show, but it grosses me out to think that people actually have sex for money. I mean work sucks no matter what, but why make it one of the most enjoyable things in life? It is only going to wreck it! I am still deciding if i think prostitution is okay. Mike, can we argu about this when i get home?

As for the pot, it was really cool that it was okay and not something to be ashamed of. I liked that you could just buy it and not worry about it. It's weird that they called them "Coffee Shops" since I don't think they sold coffee, but whatever. I don't ever really smoke, but I just don't think that it should be illegal. So the one time I did smoke there I just about lost my mind. It was super strong stuff, AK-47 was the name of it. It was pretty bad.

They of course have live sex shows, but what i didn't expect was Animal porn. I didn't witness either, but what craziness!!!!

All in all it was a very cool city to see, but I think I could only stand it for so long.

This weekend is Prague. Should be a lot of fun, but we have to travel ALL DAY to get there because we have to check in twice at the airport. YUCK! Oh well....

I am going to have a coming home outting on November 23, as all of you should be out anyways since its the biggest drinking night in Buffalo. I planned to be appropriately decorated in Scottish attire (short kilted skirt!)

Missing Image ;(