Yea, I am backing myself into a corner and I'm going to have to make a decision. The sad part is that it's going to reverberate for a while given my current work structure will most likely be in place for a while. Here's the situation, I'm kind of seeing/talking to someone that I work very closely with on a daily basis. It's something that kind of fell into my lap as I didn't put any effort into hitting on her, it just came. If one thing comes out of this it's that at least I can say that I do possess some level of attractiveness that can lure someone in without putting on the whole charming front that guys in most cases must do to "hit on" someone.

So here I am with this person and in my best interest I've basically handled this with kid gloves, since I don't want this to become a grease fire & shitting in my nest is something that is not on my list of things to experience in life.

So here's my problem: She's pretty attractive and very moral in the sense that she's a church girl and even does music for various Catholic Churches. But as I've eluded to in I'm not used to the role of being the dominate male especially with someone who is more vanilla than I've experienced since I got my relationship psyche cleaned out by a couple of crazy love interests from my past.

Just like the Angel on one shoulder and the Devil on the other duking it out I have this dilemma on my hands. I think my mind has been tainted in the "Tainted Love" sense by the alternagoth queens that I've always ended up with in the past that produced great longing and sex. Then again I've always have been battling this dark feeling of helplessness every time I come across some obstacle that most people can just get over but to me and my perception always seems monolithic. Nothing will scare a normal chick away like that kind weak, helpless whining. I've always felt this way, but luckily it only comes cyclically. Or at least less frequently due to me playing a big game of avoiding making large decisions in life to snuff out an possibility of me mourning a shitty decision and taking a trip down a spiral for weeks or a couple months at a time due to that one thing.

So anyway I have this chick that's into me and is pretty nice and wholesome. The last thing I want to do is fuck with her head as I have with so many people [Although for most of those participants, it was mutual] But at the same time the inner Catholic altar boy wants a nice wholesome no psycho wife that will be all quaint and "normal" whatever that means anymore or in actuality some concept of "normal" from the unobtainable permanently lost past.

There's just a battle in me that has been going on for years. The "normal" person that can hang with frat boys versus the dark existentialist that loves indie films and depressed artistic sex fiends with multicolored yarn hair that listen to stuff that makes NIN sound mild. The excuse of blaming my high school just isn't cutting it anymore. Do I have to make a decision or marry someone that will force me to live a secret double life?

Yea, I have issues I know...

Although my one other friend that has the same taste in beer has told me that Michelob was changing their signature bottle I finally came across where was coming

Bottle design

Bottled Michelob was originally sold in a uniquely-shaped bottle named the teardrop bottle because it resembled a water droplet. The teardrop bottle was awarded a medal from the Institute of Design in 1962. Five years later the bottle was redesigned for efficiency in the production line, and later it was abandoned for a standard bottle.

In January 2007 Anheuser-Busch re-introduced Michelob in a similar bottle.

In October 2008, it was decided that the teardrop bottle would be retired and the standard Michelob Craft Bottle would replace any Michelob product currently being sold in the teardrop bottle.

I would hate to see it go. Yea, you can't drink Michelob all the time since it is on par with drinking whole milk all the time, but it is the one things that makes it stand out more than the beer itself. Especially since I'm old enough to remember the Frank Sinatra commercials selling the stuff.

For it to just have it fall back into the pack of the other supposed "craft beers" that the have thrown under the Michelob flag would be a mistake. I love the teardrop bottle & I'm going to be sad to see it go.

I had some really crazy rant that I posted as a draft last night. It basically came down to me being kind of paranoid to post it. So here instead is a bit of humor that I came across:

News from the Business World
1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing.. Its called the stock market.

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal-Mart Street.

3. The difference between a pigeon and an investment banker.The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria. if you get any emails from
Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it..

7. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my checks is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether
that refers to mine or the bank's...


New Stock Market Terms

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investment banker to
mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock..

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who should be now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use

I've gave up facebook for lent. For some reason I just had to hop on the band wagon. The weird part is that I did give up something last year and in the long run it did improve my life to a certain extent for the positive.

I think that in some respect facebook has gotten a bit too big for me right now. It started when I clicked on some dude I went to high school that was part of the "people you may know" tool. For curiosity sake I just browsed his friends & then saw the brother of an ex girlfriend that really F'd me up in the head. It just came to the point of my mind said to me: "FOR GOD SAKES DON'T DO IT; DON'T CLICK THERE; NO GOOD WILL EVER COME OUT OF IT, ONLY PAIN!!!" A part of me has to say this is part of me squashing the curiosity temptation, although I'm not in any danger of doing so.

Yea, it looks like we're going to go below Dow 7000.

But the market is going to come back, Just as the suckers that are still waiting for NASDAQ 5000 back in March of '00 We're soon to be @ NASDAQ 1000 in a month or two.

Just keep on shorting stocks as right now as tha'ts the only way to make money. When that 12 year support was broken around 7600 from when Bill Clinton was still in office it just opened the floodgates breaking the levy. So all those gains for the last 12 + years are now toast.

Now I ask how many kids are going to be helping out their parents until they die, instead of collecting a nice inheritance & blowing it on a Corvette & Harley with a vacation home somewhere warm to go along with it?