I had some really crazy rant that I posted as a draft last night. It basically came down to me being kind of paranoid to post it. So here instead is a bit of humor that I came across:

News from the Business World
1. The US has made a new weapon that destroys people but keeps the building standing.. Its called the stock market.

2. Do you have any idea how cheap stocks are? Wall Street is now being called Wal-Mart Street.

3. The difference between a pigeon and an investment banker.The pigeon can still make a deposit on a BMW.

4. What's the difference between a guy who lost everything in Las Vegas and an investment banker? A tie!

5. The problem with investment bank balance sheet is that on the left side nothing's right and on the right side nothing's left.

6. I want to warn people from Nigeria. if you get any emails from
Washington asking for money, it's a scam. Don't fall for it..

7. What worries me most about the credit crunch, is that if one of my checks is returned stamped 'insufficient funds'. I won't know whether
that refers to mine or the bank's...


New Stock Market Terms

CEO --Chief Embezzlement Officer.

CFO-- Corporate Fraud Officer.

BULL MARKET -- A random market movement causing an investment banker to
mistake himself for a financial genius.

BEAR MARKET -- A 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry.

VALUE INVESTING -- The art of buying low and selling lower.

P/E RATIO -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.

BROKER -- What my broker has made me.

STANDARD & POOR -- Your life in a nutshell.

STOCK ANALYST -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock..

STOCK SPLIT -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.

FINANCIAL PLANNER -- A guy whose phone has been disconnected.

MARKET CORRECTION -- The day after you buy stocks.

CASH FLOW-- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.

YAHOO -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.

WINDOWS -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.

INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR -- Past year investor who should be now locked up in a nuthouse.

PROFIT -- An archaic word no longer in use

I've gave up facebook for lent. For some reason I just had to hop on the band wagon. The weird part is that I did give up something last year and in the long run it did improve my life to a certain extent for the positive.

I think that in some respect facebook has gotten a bit too big for me right now. It started when I clicked on some dude I went to high school that was part of the "people you may know" tool. For curiosity sake I just browsed his friends & then saw the brother of an ex girlfriend that really F'd me up in the head. It just came to the point of my mind said to me: "FOR GOD SAKES DON'T DO IT; DON'T CLICK THERE; NO GOOD WILL EVER COME OUT OF IT, ONLY PAIN!!!" A part of me has to say this is part of me squashing the curiosity temptation, although I'm not in any danger of doing so.

Yea, it looks like we're going to go below Dow 7000.

But the market is going to come back, Just as the suckers that are still waiting for NASDAQ 5000 back in March of '00 We're soon to be @ NASDAQ 1000 in a month or two.

Just keep on shorting stocks as right now as tha'ts the only way to make money. When that 12 year support was broken around 7600 from when Bill Clinton was still in office it just opened the floodgates breaking the levy. So all those gains for the last 12 + years are now toast.

Now I ask how many kids are going to be helping out their parents until they die, instead of collecting a nice inheritance & blowing it on a Corvette & Harley with a vacation home somewhere warm to go along with it?

I'm just not too exciting these days. The highlight of my weekend was going over to Canada & hanging out with a guy I worked with 10 years ago. I meet him at the OTB and just passed the time betting horses. The highlights of the evening was when these 2 guys hit really big. The first one was a friend of my former co-worker & he hit for about $700 or so on a trifecta 1st, 2nd and 3rd. Then one Asian guy came looking like he just got out of a restaurant job by the way he was looking, bet what looked like $100 on some race from Penn National & hit $3700 dollars on a "superfecta" ticket meaning that he had in exact order 1st, 2nd, 3rd and 4th. Given that Penn National is a cheap racetrack in the sense that the horses are pretty much almost glue factory stock anything can happen. Needless to say he bought the whole place a round of beer.

The other big deal was the Variety Club or as they call it The Variety Kids Telethon on Ch 7. Is it me or could Buffalo be one of the last places to conduct such things? I mean having 24 hours of programing with people singing and doing other crazy acts for pledge money must have been mind blowing in the 50's and 60's but I can't think of another city that I have been in where they still do that kind of thing. Plus it isn't really the same without Irv or some other kick ass old school personality.

I remember watching some OK indie film by Atom Egoyan which has a telethon as one of it's key plot points which made me smile. But yea, Where are you Jerry Lewis? I guess in a way we still have them when Ch 17 begs for money but they're just really selling you some Ken Burns DVD set & a tote bag.

Actually this may beat out Cramer's "THEY KNOW NOTHING..." Rant



Part Two later on in the day, a bit more toned down and more debate from the other side.