Baby photos of cute animals. Works like a charm.



A nineteen day old baby giraffe named Melia charmed the socks of all three tv news organizations and our daily periodical. At a young age, she was walking within an hour of birth and was quite taken with the attention from the tv cameras.

It's a good day when you can tell your boss that you are helping the Giraffes meet the media with a straight face and be taken seriously.

A little girl asked her mother: 'How did the human race appear?'The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve;they had children; and so was all mankind made.'Two days later the girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from which the human race evolved.'The confused girl returned to her mother and said,'Mum, how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God, and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'The mother answered, 'Well, Dear, it is very simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told you about his.'

So, went with the ex-wife and kids to the inauguration. We had talked, given the kids racial makeup that it would be a good thing for them to see it all upclose. It should be noted that the ex has an aunt who lives in a spacious brownstone in the Dupont Circle area of DC which made this whole notion feasible. I was a little concerned about crowds. The girls are starting to get tough as far as that is concerned, but number one son at ten is still learning. But we made the arrangments with the aunt (who was positively giddy at our whirlwind tour) and Monday morning, off we went.

After caffinating at Spot, we headed into the snow where for the next seven hours, I kept wondering about the true level of brilliance to this whole concept. We took the Pennsylvania Turnpike and ran into a hour's delay for an accident there that involved a flamed out tractor trailer. Got on 270 headed toward dc to see one of the most dramatic accident scenes I've ever witnessed. Picture Delaware from Gates Circle through the S curve covered in emergency vehicles. It's snowing, blowing, a dark curvey highway. I'm driving with my entire body at that point. We made it to DC by 8, ecstatic that temps were in the 30s, we were done driving and that my uncle in law bought me beer.

Tuesday was one for the ages. Setting the candidate aside for a second, the atmosphere was one I think anybody could appreciate. We didn't get crazy and with 240,000 ticket holders, there was no point in trying for proximity. We got a map from that morning's Washington post and hiked down 16th street, where it wasn't too long before you ran into the curbside capitalists. I purchased a button for the occasion. 16th does run into the Mall, but it was a ticketed area, so we went up I street which had so many vendors it was Obamastock. Given the amount of people, everybody was very nice, celebratory. Without trying we wound up moving past St. Johns Church about an hour after the Presidental prayer service finished. Instead of following the throngs, we walked down 19th street, which send you past the Dept of Interior building (who decorates?) and down toward the Lincoln Memorial reflecting pool area. For the unitiated, this places you just on the other side of the Washington Monument. We arrived there about 11:45 and found a ridge overlooking the reflecting pool masses and their portapottys.

Got there and saw the speech (kind of ordinary), enjoyed Aretha and her hat for the ages. With the staggered sound system, the delay sounded like she had her own backup singers. What they don't show you on tv is instances like when that god-awful poem was read, our section disappated. Kids were chilly so we headed out.

Watched a little tv back out the house and the network tv coverage pretty much sucked univerally. CNN was too absorbed in their digital mosaic of "The Moment" and their satelite shots. MSNBC was too up the new President's tuckus to be of any use and FOX was still trying to extricate itself from the former President's. DC does have its own news channel (not beholding to any cable company) that actually was pretty useful. When there was nothing to say, they did the amazing thing and shut up Kids were whipped but my uncle and I took a stroll down to see the first part of the parade (largely so I could say I did--as after the president goes by, luster goes down hill in a hurry). I saw the new ride, nice car and called it a day. I have some pictures on my facebook page, but I won't repeat them here as they aren't that great.

What stuck with me was the overall vibe in the city. DC isn't as intense as New York, but it does have its own mindset. There are definitely two towns in one. The drive home was problem free. It was sunny, roads were clear, no troubles till we got to Buffalo where everything turned grey & depressing looking.

I think I'm done now, but it was a good thing for the kids to see

I've been on the dreaded yahoo personals for sometime now with mixed results. I made a connection about a week ago and we are still in the phase of phone calling and made plans to get together in the flesh last night. The shitty weather put the kabosh on that. After dinner and whatnot, I got a call from one of the kids asking for a little help with something for school, so I walked down to the house and pitched in for an hour and staggered back to my seriously humble abode a little after 9.

I gave the connection a call to sort of touch base and firm up alternative plans. We exchanged pleasantries and she asked me what was going on. I told her about pitching in with a little homework. Somehow, and I still not sure, that transpired to being very strange in her eyes that I don't compartmentalize my time with the kids. She managed to take what I thought was a laudatory concept of helping my daughter build a project for school and turn it into I haven't moved on, is there room for somebody else in my life, I'll never take the time to get to know her (let alone she with a grown kid hasn't done that yet either) and to conclusions so vast I don't think Evil Knievel could have jumped them. She went on to demonize my ex for "having her cake and eating it too." The whackjob alarm is still ringing in my head. It was her day off so it was okay to play. She is off on Saturday night so that is the next window, but I'm the one with scheduling issues? What the hell. I could feel flat out anger rising in my voice and I don't like being that guy so I as politely as I could muster, left the conversation and angrily ate a few pretzels in front of an office re-run on TBS

I've heard of people getting criticized for not doing enough with kids and I never thought I'd catch hell for helping one of mine with her homework. Parenting isn't one of those things you shut on or of without messing the kids up. We've never had any real firm borders in that we believe we are doing it together.

Apparently, that caused her to reveal of mass of insecurities. Me, I'm thinking if this is how it's going to go, the first real date isn't worth planning. We haven't even been in each other's physical presence yet and already this turn has been taken.

So, it was over, before it began. So, I don't stuff my kids into a box during the week only to play with them on Fridays. Never thought I'd catch hell for being an active parent.

You win, Universe, I've officially heard it all now.

I really like Anthony Bourdain's tv show a lot. It's more than just food, but the culture surrounding the food. I also have a warm spot in my heart for those grilled atrocities at the Pink, the sandwiches that you know are almost ready by the four feet for flame that plume up. I know those can't be good for you in the dietary sense, but they are magnificent for the soul.

That said, maybe I've seen too much tv being made, promoted enough stuff with prominent folk, whatever, but it doesn't rev my engines that the Travel channel has come to down. Don't get me wrong. I'm glad we're getting some love and hopefully native guides will get Bourdain to places like Marco's on Niagara St, Betty's, the Anchor Bar (for the history since Duff's makes better wings) and places of that ilk. I like Bourdain's writings and the show is great as he isn't interested in kissing anybody's ass in particular. Any chef with an such a public appreciation of the Clash and Ramones is a good guy in my book, but the hubbub of a production isn't something I guess I would seek out. Don't let me rain on the parade if you are up for that sort of thing. But after one time, watching tv being produced in such locations can be about as exciting as watching somebody else play video games. Your mind can't help but wander a little. I've taken to watching other people watch the famous people, it's a more interesting take on the situation.

That said, somebody take Bourdain to Lagniappe's.