I am finally, gloriously, not sick. I was too afraid to say so yesterday -- but today, today I can confirm it! 3 weeks of misery is thankfully over.
No more flus or colds or aches or pains.
It feels nice :)
Jim's Journal
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12/22/2008 08:04 #47136
Not Sick.12/21/2008 15:01 #47129
Terrible MistakeCategory: religion
Reader's note: The 'you' in this writing is directed at the Catholic Church, not the reader. If you really like the Catholic Church you might not want to read on, for what I write below is 100% anti-Catholic Church, although not necessarily anti-Catholic person.
I was on Wikipedia, and somehow ended up reading about Catholic Apologetics and the infallibility of the Pope and inerrancy of the Bible.
Not a topic to soothe my mind with, and a bad way to mentally prepare for staying with my ultra-Catholic in-laws next week.
But seriously, Catholic Church, if you advocate things which involve violating the Law of Conservation of Mass and then claim you are infallible, and then use circular reasoning to justify the whole sorry mess, I'm going to call you out as wrong and a vicious liar.
The scope of observations that we've made about the universe covers the scale from individual subatomic particles to giant galactic superclusters and background radiation from the Big Bang. That's solid, dependable, re-verifiable knowledge. If you had to start over from scratch you'd find the exact same thing.
You, the Catholic Church, think that heaven and hell depend on randomly believing preposterous things with no evidence and no usefulness, and then claim you're more accurate at discerning truths then the scientific process which can divine billions of years worth of history. Essentially you are mentally ill as an organization. Science is powerful because it knows it's full of errors and corrects for them over time. 20 centuries of Popes helming your rock are jackasses because they thought they spoke for god.
Show me any piece of Catholic scholarship that is remotely as awesome and mind-blowing as this, a study on the shape and history of the Universe:
Give me anything that's 1% as convincing and I'll convert in an instant. Until then, I hope you die and rot, you miserable relic of superstition and hatred.
But you, the Catholic Church, will never produce anything remotely as truthful as that study on the topography of the Universe, qualified and incomplete though it is. Instead you'll natter on about virgin births and bodies taken up to heaven, with occasional diversions fitting the maximum number of angels onto heads of pins. Have fun with all that, just stay out of my way you corpulent bloated anachronism.
2,000 of years of navel-gazing does not infallibility make.
Catholic Church: you are hereby my mortal political, temporal, and moral enemy. Your own actions and lies have placed you in that position, until you achieve the following two things, necessary and sufficient to reclaim your place in polite society:
1) Stop claiming that you are the keepers of universal truth.
2) Stay the hell out of politics.
Since that will never happen, I'll take any chance I can get to kick you when you're down. Please feel free to excommunicate me, as my initial childhood involvement with you was against my will and not looked back upon fondly, and you're screwing up my life these days, too.
I don't even feel bad about hating you, Catholic Church, because you certainly aren't one to live and let live, and that's my minimum requirement for respect.
You have declared that dialogue with you is impossible, for how can the Catholic Church bend to any when it is the sole arbiter of truth? For that I condemn you with all my heart, every ounce of my being.
You scorn all else, and thus I scorn you, Catholic Church.
Don't bother defending yourself in kind terms based on your community and good works, Catholic Church. If something proceeds from lies and derangement, and discounts all but itself, a bit of polish and shine little makes up for the disease at the core.
SUMMARY: DOWN WITH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND ITS MANY ERRORS. YOU ARE USELESS AND ON BALANCE A FORCE FOR GREAT EVIL AND LIES. Such I pronounce. And don't forget, I am infallible on such matters, speaking ex-ex-Cathedra.
I was on Wikipedia, and somehow ended up reading about Catholic Apologetics and the infallibility of the Pope and inerrancy of the Bible.
Not a topic to soothe my mind with, and a bad way to mentally prepare for staying with my ultra-Catholic in-laws next week.
But seriously, Catholic Church, if you advocate things which involve violating the Law of Conservation of Mass and then claim you are infallible, and then use circular reasoning to justify the whole sorry mess, I'm going to call you out as wrong and a vicious liar.
"By the authority of our Lord Jesus Christ, of the Blessed Apostles Peter and Paul, and by our own authority, we pronounce, declare, and define it to be a divinely revealed dogma: that the Immaculate Mother of God, the ever Virgin Mary, having completed the course of her earthly life, was assumed body and soul into heavenly glory." -- Pope Pius the 12th, 1950
The scope of observations that we've made about the universe covers the scale from individual subatomic particles to giant galactic superclusters and background radiation from the Big Bang. That's solid, dependable, re-verifiable knowledge. If you had to start over from scratch you'd find the exact same thing.
You, the Catholic Church, think that heaven and hell depend on randomly believing preposterous things with no evidence and no usefulness, and then claim you're more accurate at discerning truths then the scientific process which can divine billions of years worth of history. Essentially you are mentally ill as an organization. Science is powerful because it knows it's full of errors and corrects for them over time. 20 centuries of Popes helming your rock are jackasses because they thought they spoke for god.
Show me any piece of Catholic scholarship that is remotely as awesome and mind-blowing as this, a study on the shape and history of the Universe:
Give me anything that's 1% as convincing and I'll convert in an instant. Until then, I hope you die and rot, you miserable relic of superstition and hatred.
But you, the Catholic Church, will never produce anything remotely as truthful as that study on the topography of the Universe, qualified and incomplete though it is. Instead you'll natter on about virgin births and bodies taken up to heaven, with occasional diversions fitting the maximum number of angels onto heads of pins. Have fun with all that, just stay out of my way you corpulent bloated anachronism.
2,000 of years of navel-gazing does not infallibility make.
Catholic Church: you are hereby my mortal political, temporal, and moral enemy. Your own actions and lies have placed you in that position, until you achieve the following two things, necessary and sufficient to reclaim your place in polite society:
1) Stop claiming that you are the keepers of universal truth.
2) Stay the hell out of politics.
Since that will never happen, I'll take any chance I can get to kick you when you're down. Please feel free to excommunicate me, as my initial childhood involvement with you was against my will and not looked back upon fondly, and you're screwing up my life these days, too.
I don't even feel bad about hating you, Catholic Church, because you certainly aren't one to live and let live, and that's my minimum requirement for respect.
You have declared that dialogue with you is impossible, for how can the Catholic Church bend to any when it is the sole arbiter of truth? For that I condemn you with all my heart, every ounce of my being.
You scorn all else, and thus I scorn you, Catholic Church.
Don't bother defending yourself in kind terms based on your community and good works, Catholic Church. If something proceeds from lies and derangement, and discounts all but itself, a bit of polish and shine little makes up for the disease at the core.
SUMMARY: DOWN WITH THE CATHOLIC CHURCH AND ITS MANY ERRORS. YOU ARE USELESS AND ON BALANCE A FORCE FOR GREAT EVIL AND LIES. Such I pronounce. And don't forget, I am infallible on such matters, speaking ex-ex-Cathedra.
jim - 12/22/08 13:53
Yeah, I'm done with the Catholic Church and the Pope. No more respect from me, ever. I am not 'a wound'.
Yeah, I'm done with the Catholic Church and the Pope. No more respect from me, ever. I am not 'a wound'.
james - 12/22/08 13:05
Let me reiterate that Pope Benedict is a piece of shit.
:::link:::
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Pope Benedict said on Monday that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behavior was just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.
Let me reiterate that Pope Benedict is a piece of shit.
:::link:::
VATICAN CITY (Reuters) - Pope Benedict said on Monday that saving humanity from homosexual or transsexual behavior was just as important as saving the rainforest from destruction.
jenks - 12/21/08 19:18
Can I have an AMEN?!
;)
David Cross does a good bit on the infallibility of the Pope- says if he's so infallible, they should take him to vegas. "Didn't you hear the man? The Pope says the ball is on 11 red, I don't care if you say it's on 4 black! The church wins! Again!"
Can I have an AMEN?!
;)
David Cross does a good bit on the infallibility of the Pope- says if he's so infallible, they should take him to vegas. "Didn't you hear the man? The Pope says the ball is on 11 red, I don't care if you say it's on 4 black! The church wins! Again!"
james - 12/21/08 18:03
The first Vatican Council was called to confirm Pius IX "Syllabus of Errors". In which he condemned liberalism, rationalism, Socialism, separation of church and state, Democracy. Thirty years later in 1910, Pius X made all clergy take "the Oath Against Modernism" which all clergy took until VC2.
The point I want to make is that since the early part of Pius IX reign in the middle of the 19th century, there has been only one reformer Pope. A majority of the Pope's since have been reactionary, entrenching the doctrine and political structure of the Church in the philosophy of Papal absolutism. It leads into the future while its eyes are on pre-French Revolution Europe.
Pope Benedict says the Vatican cannot support a UN bill denouncing violence against homosexuals. He says inter-faith dialogue is not possible due to the inherent falseness of other beliefs. His predecessor was in the same vein, and did such delightful acts as Beatify a man guilty of crimes against humanity for his active role in genocide.
I wonder what usefulness this institution serves when it actively perpetuates ignorance and condones, no, rewards violence. For the faithful, I would wonder who has taken hold of the church and what violence they have done to it.
The first Vatican Council was called to confirm Pius IX "Syllabus of Errors". In which he condemned liberalism, rationalism, Socialism, separation of church and state, Democracy. Thirty years later in 1910, Pius X made all clergy take "the Oath Against Modernism" which all clergy took until VC2.
The point I want to make is that since the early part of Pius IX reign in the middle of the 19th century, there has been only one reformer Pope. A majority of the Pope's since have been reactionary, entrenching the doctrine and political structure of the Church in the philosophy of Papal absolutism. It leads into the future while its eyes are on pre-French Revolution Europe.
Pope Benedict says the Vatican cannot support a UN bill denouncing violence against homosexuals. He says inter-faith dialogue is not possible due to the inherent falseness of other beliefs. His predecessor was in the same vein, and did such delightful acts as Beatify a man guilty of crimes against humanity for his active role in genocide.
I wonder what usefulness this institution serves when it actively perpetuates ignorance and condones, no, rewards violence. For the faithful, I would wonder who has taken hold of the church and what violence they have done to it.
mrmike - 12/21/08 17:44
Hail, brother, well argued. As a former catholic, I agree with you completely.
Hail, brother, well argued. As a former catholic, I agree with you completely.
12/19/2008 11:05 #47109
Yuck
jim - 12/19/08 15:21
Going home :)
Going home :)
fellyconnelly - 12/19/08 13:25
where do you think you are going in this mess?
where do you think you are going in this mess?
matthew - 12/19/08 11:23
Just pretend you are home in utah, that's not snow it's wet sand!
Just pretend you are home in utah, that's not snow it's wet sand!
12/14/2008 18:17 #47061
Holiday DinnerHey Everyone -
I've been out sick the last week and before that on vacation. I guess I totally screwed up my chance to plan an (e:strip) holiday dinner.
Sorry!
I've been out sick the last week and before that on vacation. I guess I totally screwed up my chance to plan an (e:strip) holiday dinner.
Sorry!
jim - 12/14/08 21:06
Sure thing, we're in.
Sure thing, we're in.
paul - 12/14/08 20:45
That could work for me, what about 8PM, does that work for anyone else?
That could work for me, what about 8PM, does that work for anyone else?
matthew - 12/14/08 20:02
There is still time, we can do a casual pizza and wings type dinner at our place. What about this thursday evening? Anyone interested? Let me know what you guys think!
There is still time, we can do a casual pizza and wings type dinner at our place. What about this thursday evening? Anyone interested? Let me know what you guys think!
12/17/2008 22:50 #47096
Purpose Driven LifeCategory: religion
Rick Warren is going to be the minister at Obama's inauguration.
He started the whole 'Purpose Driven Life' movement.
It's like the shortest possible summary of what turns me off of religion.
This kind of thing is the worst though:
I don't get it at all. Hearing that sort of talk is the only time that I believe in the otherwise-unbelievable claim that "religion is the opiate of the masses".
Divorcing 'God's purposes' from actual human justice seems abhorrent to me, and I don't even believe in God.
He started the whole 'Purpose Driven Life' movement.
It's like the shortest possible summary of what turns me off of religion.
Purpose #1: You Were Planned for God's Pleasure (Worship)
Purpose #2: You Were Formed for God's Family (Fellowship)
Purpose #3: You Were Created to Become Like Christ (Discipleship)
Purpose #4: You Were Shaped for Serving God (Ministry)
Purpose #5: You Were Made for a Mission (Mission)
--
This kind of thing is the worst though:
This spiritual servitude only has negative connotations in a culture that is obsessed with asserting the rights of the individual. Civil rights, human rights, gay rights, minority rights-we hear about this constantly. Instead of asserting our rights-even if we have the freedom to do so-we are choosing to set them aside for a greater thing: the opportunity to serve the living God. What are you setting aside in order to serve God? --
I don't get it at all. Hearing that sort of talk is the only time that I believe in the otherwise-unbelievable claim that "religion is the opiate of the masses".
Divorcing 'God's purposes' from actual human justice seems abhorrent to me, and I don't even believe in God.
jason - 12/18/08 16:45
Good point, (e:James). You don't attract bees with vinegar. I also hope this leads to something productive. I also like how you frame the ideological orthodoxy point - it's pretty clear that he does not demand this of his people, probably to the extreme frustration of the left wing, but it seems he doesn't want a bunch of one way thinkers surrounding him, a welcome change.
This is, again, the thing that astounds me about Obama, and something that I've wavered on in my own analysis. He's the one who has made the high minded speeches, which everyone claps for, cries for, and then forgets immediately after they hop in their car to go home. I doubted his sincerity, but it seems he is committed to some extent. There obviously must be something he likes about Rick Warren outside of the Prop 8 trash. It is indeed very surprising. I guess I don't see it as the worst sin Obama could commit.
Good point, (e:James). You don't attract bees with vinegar. I also hope this leads to something productive. I also like how you frame the ideological orthodoxy point - it's pretty clear that he does not demand this of his people, probably to the extreme frustration of the left wing, but it seems he doesn't want a bunch of one way thinkers surrounding him, a welcome change.
This is, again, the thing that astounds me about Obama, and something that I've wavered on in my own analysis. He's the one who has made the high minded speeches, which everyone claps for, cries for, and then forgets immediately after they hop in their car to go home. I doubted his sincerity, but it seems he is committed to some extent. There obviously must be something he likes about Rick Warren outside of the Prop 8 trash. It is indeed very surprising. I guess I don't see it as the worst sin Obama could commit.
drew - 12/18/08 11:17
I thought all marching bands were gay.
(please forgive me. Sometimes my inner-middle schooler can't be contained)
Seriously though, I agree with you, James/
I thought all marching bands were gay.
(please forgive me. Sometimes my inner-middle schooler can't be contained)
Seriously though, I agree with you, James/
james - 12/18/08 10:44
So Warren has a crappy record on choice and GLBT rights.
But Obama is making considerable inroads with the Evangelical movement. This powerful block of voters can't be changed from the evil religious right to a more moderate constituency without engagement. Most Democratic presidents have paid them lip service. Warren reached out to Obama and it is nice that he is reaching back. I hope some dialogue is opened up.
Add to that:
A gay marching band will be with Obama on his parade to the inauguration. A first.
Obama has nominated the first openly gay cabinet member with Mary Beth Maxwell for Sec of Labor.
At the end of the inauguration vocally pro-GLBT rights activist and civil rights icon Rev. Joseph Lowery will be giving the benediction.
So far, the Obama administration has been one of pragmatism and does not demand ideological orthodoxy. So, I can live with a few Rick Warren's so long as there is a good long-term strategy. And I feel there is even with the oft neglected GLBT rights.
So Warren has a crappy record on choice and GLBT rights.
But Obama is making considerable inroads with the Evangelical movement. This powerful block of voters can't be changed from the evil religious right to a more moderate constituency without engagement. Most Democratic presidents have paid them lip service. Warren reached out to Obama and it is nice that he is reaching back. I hope some dialogue is opened up.
Add to that:
A gay marching band will be with Obama on his parade to the inauguration. A first.
Obama has nominated the first openly gay cabinet member with Mary Beth Maxwell for Sec of Labor.
At the end of the inauguration vocally pro-GLBT rights activist and civil rights icon Rev. Joseph Lowery will be giving the benediction.
So far, the Obama administration has been one of pragmatism and does not demand ideological orthodoxy. So, I can live with a few Rick Warren's so long as there is a good long-term strategy. And I feel there is even with the oft neglected GLBT rights.
drew - 12/18/08 10:13
He put his influence and his money behind it. He directly told his congregation to vote yes. He wasn't THE leader in campaign, but he certainly was a leader.
He put his influence and his money behind it. He directly told his congregation to vote yes. He wasn't THE leader in campaign, but he certainly was a leader.
jim - 12/18/08 09:53
I don't mind Obama reaching out, that's why I voted for him, but I'll continue to disagree with people he brings in that I don't see eye to eye with. I also don't consider this a slap in the face, but I did react viscerally to it when I heard and had to vent.
I don't mind Obama reaching out, that's why I voted for him, but I'll continue to disagree with people he brings in that I don't see eye to eye with. I also don't consider this a slap in the face, but I did react viscerally to it when I heard and had to vent.
janelle - 12/18/08 09:50
Did he lead the campaign against it? Or did he support it? A fine difference, I know, but I'm just curious.
Did he lead the campaign against it? Or did he support it? A fine difference, I know, but I'm just curious.
drew - 12/18/08 09:40
On the other hand, he hasn't led a campaign AGAINST women pastors either . . .
But you are right. Reaching out pisses people off. Conservatives will get mad at Warren, too.
But my guess is that nobody even remembers who gave an invocation at any other inauguration. This choice won't affect anything. Picking Joe Biden was WAY more of a sellout and WAY more substantial.
On the other hand, he hasn't led a campaign AGAINST women pastors either . . .
But you are right. Reaching out pisses people off. Conservatives will get mad at Warren, too.
But my guess is that nobody even remembers who gave an invocation at any other inauguration. This choice won't affect anything. Picking Joe Biden was WAY more of a sellout and WAY more substantial.
janelle - 12/18/08 09:30
I think I tended to interpret his "Bring America Together" comments as meaning that he would reach out to individuals across the divide; that he was going to reach out to and try to work with people he doesn't necessarily agree with. It's really hard to be inclusive without pissing someone off.
I think Obama is going to spend his presidency pissing off the extreme liberals and conservatives by reaching out to a variety of people with different political and social backgrounds to see if he can build some kind of consensus over any number of issues. But I'm okay with that because I'm tired of the extremists on either side battling it out and never giving on any issue.
FWIW, Rick Warren is a minister at a church that has no ordained female pastors, I don't believe. But I really don't consider that fact indicative of Obama's views on women or a slap in my face.
I think I tended to interpret his "Bring America Together" comments as meaning that he would reach out to individuals across the divide; that he was going to reach out to and try to work with people he doesn't necessarily agree with. It's really hard to be inclusive without pissing someone off.
I think Obama is going to spend his presidency pissing off the extreme liberals and conservatives by reaching out to a variety of people with different political and social backgrounds to see if he can build some kind of consensus over any number of issues. But I'm okay with that because I'm tired of the extremists on either side battling it out and never giving on any issue.
FWIW, Rick Warren is a minister at a church that has no ordained female pastors, I don't believe. But I really don't consider that fact indicative of Obama's views on women or a slap in my face.
tinypliny - 12/18/08 01:30
Actually, I agree with just one phrase of your post: the title. :)
I think we all do live a purpose driven life. Otherwise we wouldn't be living.
Yeah, the rest of the quotes etc are weird. I don't think the ideas in the quote-boxes fit the concept of a purpose-driven life. It sounds more like a someone else's whimsy driven life.
Actually, I agree with just one phrase of your post: the title. :)
I think we all do live a purpose driven life. Otherwise we wouldn't be living.
Yeah, the rest of the quotes etc are weird. I don't think the ideas in the quote-boxes fit the concept of a purpose-driven life. It sounds more like a someone else's whimsy driven life.
paul - 12/18/08 01:11
This is exactly why I didn't really want to vote for obama as preseident. Without the peer pressure of matthew and terry I wouldn't have. McCain wasn't any better of a choice, its just that I would have rather voted for neither. I mean who is he pandering to with this, he already won the vote.
Here are some quotes from a comment on :::link:::
"Of all the religious figures in America he chooses a God by-the-numbers mega-church celebrity??? Why also did he choose a supporter of Prop 8?"
"As an openly gay donor to Obama campaign the news of Rick Warren giving the invocation at the inaugeral ,is election night deja vu, all over again. Gays and Lesbians were celebrationg with all the rest of America the Obama victory, then at 11pm we get a shiv shoved in our back with prop 8. Rick Warren and the LDS elders were the MAIN SUPPORTERS which attacked LGBT families in CA, making us the ONE minority not covered by the equal protection clause.
I hope EVERY queer and our friends attending the Inaugeral, TURNS THEIR BACK to Rick Warren, a salute of a single finger wouldn't hurt ...either.
I am so disappointed the president to Bring America TOGETHER, chooses to tear us apart at his FIRST
CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE...what's this WE crud? "
This is exactly why I didn't really want to vote for obama as preseident. Without the peer pressure of matthew and terry I wouldn't have. McCain wasn't any better of a choice, its just that I would have rather voted for neither. I mean who is he pandering to with this, he already won the vote.
Here are some quotes from a comment on :::link:::
"Of all the religious figures in America he chooses a God by-the-numbers mega-church celebrity??? Why also did he choose a supporter of Prop 8?"
"As an openly gay donor to Obama campaign the news of Rick Warren giving the invocation at the inaugeral ,is election night deja vu, all over again. Gays and Lesbians were celebrationg with all the rest of America the Obama victory, then at 11pm we get a shiv shoved in our back with prop 8. Rick Warren and the LDS elders were the MAIN SUPPORTERS which attacked LGBT families in CA, making us the ONE minority not covered by the equal protection clause.
I hope EVERY queer and our friends attending the Inaugeral, TURNS THEIR BACK to Rick Warren, a salute of a single finger wouldn't hurt ...either.
I am so disappointed the president to Bring America TOGETHER, chooses to tear us apart at his FIRST
CHANGE WE CAN BELIEVE...what's this WE crud? "
drew - 12/18/08 00:04
Here's somebody else's response: :::link:::
I will write more later. I used to hate Rick Warren. But he did some amazing things that no other Evangelical mega-pastor had done.
He poured himself into AIDS/debt relief. Time, money, influence, everything. He took a hit for it (sad, I know), but never backed down.
Then, he broke with the republican crowd. Just suggesting that I person MIGHT vote for a candidate that is pro-choice used to be a career-ender for Evangelical pastors. He hasn't been a radical in this stand, but he has been even handed, which is enough to get him branded a heretic.
But lately, I've liked him less. He said some reall stupid things about war, and war with Iran in particular, and made a video about prop 8 that was not good at all.
Anways, he's a mixed bag. And if outrage gets him thrown out, then I will make myself available.
I am also willing to take the NY senate seat. :)
Here's somebody else's response: :::link:::
I will write more later. I used to hate Rick Warren. But he did some amazing things that no other Evangelical mega-pastor had done.
He poured himself into AIDS/debt relief. Time, money, influence, everything. He took a hit for it (sad, I know), but never backed down.
Then, he broke with the republican crowd. Just suggesting that I person MIGHT vote for a candidate that is pro-choice used to be a career-ender for Evangelical pastors. He hasn't been a radical in this stand, but he has been even handed, which is enough to get him branded a heretic.
But lately, I've liked him less. He said some reall stupid things about war, and war with Iran in particular, and made a video about prop 8 that was not good at all.
Anways, he's a mixed bag. And if outrage gets him thrown out, then I will make myself available.
I am also willing to take the NY senate seat. :)
james - 12/17/08 23:19
I can't believe Obama nominated him to be Secretary of State.
oh wait, he is just saying some godly shit at his inauguration.
While it is a disappointing choice, I understand that in politics you sometimes have to make nice with vile, loathsome people. Though, Obama's history with bizzaro church-folk is a little troubling. I didn't find Jeremiah Wright that troubling. Hey, if you are black you can god damn America all you like with my blessing. Then there was the anti-gay gospel singer Donnie McClurkin.
I mean, wasn't (e:Drew) available for the event?
I can't believe Obama nominated him to be Secretary of State.
oh wait, he is just saying some godly shit at his inauguration.
While it is a disappointing choice, I understand that in politics you sometimes have to make nice with vile, loathsome people. Though, Obama's history with bizzaro church-folk is a little troubling. I didn't find Jeremiah Wright that troubling. Hey, if you are black you can god damn America all you like with my blessing. Then there was the anti-gay gospel singer Donnie McClurkin.
I mean, wasn't (e:Drew) available for the event?
jim - 12/17/08 23:02
The shorter, twitter version: RICK WARREN AAAAAARRRGH.
The shorter, twitter version: RICK WARREN AAAAAARRRGH.
Congrats on not sick!