Performance enhancing drugs, to be exact.

Of course, it is only the performance of my mind, so it is legal.

After much delay and testing, I finally got a perscription to help me with ADHD. So far, I am happy with it, although I am not sure one day of work and one day off are enough to test it.

Here's what I noticed. First of all, the con:

Yesterday, I took my doses (10mg, twice a day) too close together. That led to a bit of time where I felt like I had too much coffee.

Pros:

Similar to what (e:jim) expressed: I can choose what i pay attention to. This is huge, and I have noticed it already. I stayed on task in a budget meeting, read a book without getting up to check email/walk around/cook/eat (and yes, that has been my normal way of reading) and went to bed when I chose (par for the course is to get REALLY tired as I constantly surf the internet/watch tv).

It's wierd, but really the most amazing thing is my ability to walk away from the computer. The bad thing about web 2.0 is that there is always the possiblity of feedback, and I am a feedback junkie. There is also always something new, but now I am not so desperate as to constantly check back to sites to see if something new has come up.

I think I am going to exercise today, because being able to pay attention and make choices has freed up the time/motivation to do so. We'll see if that keeps up.

Finally, (and this is supposed to be a negative side effect, but for me it is good) I think my appetite is lower. We'll have to see about this, because I really do like food. Also, sometimes I eat out of restlessness, so the meds might help with that anyway.

Another Con: I do feel a little bit different, in a way that is hard to describe. It's like I am not totally out of my head, but I am zoomed out just one more step, and I am observing myself a little bit more instead of just being myself. That probably makes me sound crazy. But there is just a little bit more distance between myself and my reading/typing/conversation/whatever. I'm not sure it is so bad yet, but it feels wierd, and I was hoping that I would feel the same but be able to organize myself and stop losing things.

It will be interesting to see what I am like on Sunday and for a full work week.

This was a very good game. I love beating the Cowboys, and am already looking forward to dismantling the Ravens next week.



Also, I am proud to be a big part of "football" showing up in the tag could on the front page of estrip.org.

Just for the record. I don't like what is happening. People I know and like are losing their jobs. This is an exercise for me in trying to find the bright side.

1. People are growing in their empathy. For many of us, people in poverty are no longer "them," they are "us."

2. Gas prices have come down.

3. This will get us to do things differently.

4. We will have learned that ridiculous debt is ridiculous.

5. People should end up happier. Statistically, people are more likely to be happy when they have less disposable income (as long as basic needs are met).

6. What goes down, should come up? Maybe? Right?

7. (e:vincent)'s cogent analysis.

8. I expect to be able to find some used skis super cheap.

9. The best things in life are still free.

10. My grandparents prepared me well for living in a depression.

This might be easy for some of you, but I am doing it because I have to remind myself.


1. Spending time with people I like.

2. Snacking while I work.

3. The moment when you turn off the overhead lights and look at the glow.

4. Trying to take low-light pictures of the tree.

5. The smell of a fresh tree.

6. It only comes once a year.

7. Happy memories.

8. The celebratory cold one at the end.

9. The fact that other people do a lot of the work.

10. This year, the churches decorations DO NOT include a live tree--which makes my life a lot easier.