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Drew's Journal

drew
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11/15/2008 10:16 #46696

Steelers
Category: football
So, according to Nike, tomorrow's game has been anticipated since Troy Polamalu and Ladanian Tomlinson were in the womb.


11/12/2008 18:40 #46663

Mass Appeal
Fashion show to benefit the Elmwood Village Association. Tickets available at Elmwoodvillage.org.

It's gonna be sweet.


11/11/2008 10:57 #46642

Yinz Luv--week 10
Category: football


It's more fun when the win, but it's always nice to see a tribute to a worthy band.

11/10/2008 17:34 #46630

I don't know who to be mad at the most
Category: rant
About a month ago, (e:jim) inspired me to FINALLY seek treatment for ADHD.

I've known I'd had it for years, but never sought help because I didn't really want to be on meds, and I had some pretty good coping skills.

Nonetheless, as my life has gotten more complex in recent years, my disorganization, inattentiveness, and tendency to lose track of things has gotten harder to handle. The promise of a non-stimulant drug to help me out (as shared by (e:jim)), Strattera, inspired me.

The first nomination for an entity to be mad at might be ExpressScripts, my prescription plan. I am upset with them because they would not approve strattera, unless I have hypertension and/or other drugs had been tried and found wanting.

In essence they said, "Try the addictive/potentially harmful stimulants first, if you find yourself addicted, or your heary blows up, than we will give you the other drug." Great Plan.

I can also be upset with my PCP. I don't really want to be upset with them, because they are on the West Side and specialize in caring for poor people and refugees, which is why I went to this doctor. I decided I could put up with a crowded, long, wait, if it helped other people get the care they needed.

What really made me mad about them is that they sent my prescription apporval form to the wrong place, and never followed up (with my medical insurance, who they sent it to, my prescription plan, who they should have sent it to, or me) I had to call them to push them to get anything done, and I was told more than once that the problem was that the medical insurer was the hold-up even AFTER I TOLD THEM TWICE not to talk to BlueCross, but rather to talk to ExpressScripts, and got the special phone number for them.

After staterra was denied, because I don't have any heart problems or addictions yet, I decided that I should go along, and take Ritalin.

Of course, ritalin is a controlled substance. So before I could get this prescription, I had to visit the doctor yet again, so I could pee into a cup, sign a contract, and pick up the script (which is not allowed to be faxed to the pharmacy).

So I can be mad at the people that abused the drug, too, and the government that made rules in reaction to said people.

Additionally, I can be mad at myself. Now, I know myself pretty well. Therefore, when I got the script, I decided to go directly to the pharmacist. No passing go, no collecting $200, gotta get the drugs before I lose the little piece of paper.

Of course, the phone rang, and of course, it was an emergency. A woman in my congregation had died. I wasn't going to tell her family to wait while I went to Rite-Aid, so I changed direction.

After spending time with the family, I went straight to Rite-Aid, but it was too late. The prescription was not to be found. I searched every pocket, my whole truck, every place it might have gone, four and five times over. Gone. (I know. It's funny that I lost the paper that gets me the medicine that stops me from losing things)

I drove back to the doctor's office, and they seemed to say that they could write me another one, but couldn't right away because the doctor was at lunch.

So I went after work, waited 30 minutes again, and then was told that I would have to wait a month, because Ritalin is a controlled substance. They can't undo the old script, they can't write another one.

So I'm stuck. Ugh.
imk2 - 11/11/08 09:21
oh and that bit about not being able to write you a new script is bullshit. they just dont know you so they're being cautious (especially since these are community docs and they deal with addicts all the time). the doctor can easily write you a new script for a controlled substance.

lets ask jenks.
imk2 - 11/11/08 09:06
i dont think you should take ritalin or adderall. try concerta. it is still a stimulant, but a much much milder one. it doesnt have as many side effects and isn't as potent. it's given to kids who can't handle the awful mood swings they get from ritalin and adderall.

seriously, talk to your doctor about it and do some internet research about it.
kookcity2000 - 11/10/08 22:27
Dude Ritalin and aderal both suck. I took both at different times as a kid and resented the hell out of it. Can't you get like a sample of the Strattera though?

Also, although its a less than savory idea, its way easy to get Ritalin on the sly. Easier than waiting a month at least.
drew - 11/10/08 19:57
@metalpeter I did include myself. I know I am the biggest part of my problems.
james - 11/10/08 19:09
sometimes I just want to shoot myself in front of a board room full of insurance executives. Scream "You drove me to this!" BAM! Bits of skull and brain stuck to their tailored suits.
metalpeter - 11/10/08 19:06
Not sure if this will help but I'm guessing the script fell out of your pocket getting into a car or out of a car or going somewhere and someone else picked it up and I'm guessing someone might be abusing it right now, or using it how ever you would to get high and maybe they are better off for it. I can see why you are upset but I noticed you didn't say you should be mad at your self, I think if you include your self since you lost it then you should be mad at everyone. The important thing is that you learn how the people you deal with act and maybe in the future based on that do things differnetly, I do see why you are upset I would be also.
jim - 11/10/08 18:23
:(
tinypliny - 11/10/08 18:22
Wow. That is quite frustrating.

And this is somewhat tangential, but I had a friend who lost practically EVERYTHING all the time. It was hard for me to go to visit her at her home because they were always searching for something or the other and it sent my anxiety levels shooting waaay up every time I went there.

So one day, I suggested that she get a scanner + laptop (pda) arrangement and believe it or not, it has worked wonders. Now as soon as she gets something in paper, she scans it into her laptop. If its a bigger thing, she records the date, time and location in her laptop or PDA before she can lose it. Its been working like a charm for nearly 2 years now.
drew - 11/10/08 18:13
If "someone" doesn't want me to get addicted to ritalin, why doesn't "someone" get me some strattera! Or better yet, keep track of my stuff!

I gotta talk to "someone" about that.
paul - 11/10/08 18:11
Wow, that sucks. I think the whole system sucks. Maybe it a sign that "someone" is trying to stop you from getting addicted to ritalin.

11/07/2008 00:07 #46580

Suffering
Category: religion
This is a response to (e:libertad) 's question.

Suffering may be accepted as a way, but I must speak carefully. So, some caveats:

1. No way of living should be imposed, but this one definitely should not.

2. Suffering in itself should not be seen as an end, or even a means of repentance, as seen here:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redemptive_suffering


Still, Christ said, "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. " (Matthew 16:24, please excuse the non-inclusive language). When living differently than the rest of the world, even if it is for the good of the world, one might expect to suffer. Again, this does not mean that suffering should be sought out, but the fact remains that Jesus was executed by the state, as were many of his followers. Christianity, practiced faithfully, is not good for empire.

Instead, we should be living in community with those who are suffering already, and thus, bearing another's burdens. There is already enough suffering in the world that we do not have to seek out/create government persecution, or practice self-mortification. We can enter into the suffering of others.

This, oddly enough, is what compassion means literally. "Passion," as we learned from passion plays and that movie, means suffering, and com- as a prefix means "with." Compassion = suffering with. A way of compassion is a way of suffering.

Christianity works from beneath (or at least it is supposed to) rather than stand on a pedestal or shout from a distance, we are called to enter into the brokenness of the world, as our leader did. Another key bible verse (Philippians 2:5-8):


Let the same mind be in you that was in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not regard equality with God as something to be exploited, but emptied himself, taking the form of a slave, being born in human likeness. And being found in human form, he humbled himself and became obedient to the point of death- even death on a cross.







metalpeter - 11/08/08 12:39
A couple things to add. Comment wise this morning it looked like we passed 40,000 comments by 40. (e:tinypliny) you are a big contributer to that and I'm sure you will pass me soon.

Not to make things more confusing but there is a Chinese Philosphy of Suffering. I looked it up and couldn't find much except that it has to do with pain and pleasure and ties in with budhism I wish I was better at explaining it.
tinypliny - 11/07/08 22:05
Yes, but in a literal sense, how can you do anything else but commisserate and if possible, alleviate it with therapy/solace?

Is joining in the pain a real and tangible thing that you do, or just empathize so much that the pain doesn't seem like somebody else's? Thus, efforts to provide the therapy/solace aren't half-hearted in this case.

I am just trying to understand this construct of suffering. It's at conflict with the detachment practices and advocated in medicine. Sometimes, I feel we need to let go of detachment in research and medicine but there are unwanted adverse effects to that approach.

Do you think this is one aspect that keeps you from feeling that Science can be as inspiring as religion probably is?

---40K!----
drew - 11/07/08 21:40
it's more than realizing you are lucky--its joining with the person in pain.
tinypliny - 11/07/08 18:24
So in essence, by suffering you mean empathy with people in pain (in many forms) and the humility to recognize your luck that you are not in any such pain?
janelle - 11/07/08 15:04
I do all the whipping of Drew in this marriage ;)
libertad - 11/07/08 15:02
So does this mean you don't whip yourself? Thanks for your clarifications!