Paul doesn't believe in any other video site other than YouTube so I can't embed this video. I assure you it is very worth your time to click on it. It's this video of an adorable (when I say adorable I mean so cute your ovaries/head might explode from the amount of cuteness) little girl telling a story about animals in French. This makes me want little bambinos.

Last night I went out with some people from work and former co-workers. We were all just talking about dating/sex/life and one of my former coworkers mentioned that he wanted to set me up with a friend of his. A friend who he doesn't like very much, just so he could watch me eat him alive. This is the second time in month where someone implied I was "difficult" to date.

I'm pretty surprised that this is the impression men have of me. I think I'm a pretty easy going person to date and can only recall two times in the past few years where I've really gone off on someone. Number one being on Tom- which enough said it was justified. Number two being on Mr. I'm 3 hours late and I think that's ok. Possibly you could include a thrid time when I called Mr. I heart Broadway a jackass via email- but he said it first, I just agreed that he was.

There's no real point to this other than I want it on record that I am not a man eater.

Behold two of my favorite things on Earth:



Stolen from the redcarpet pictures from the grand re-opening of the Hello Kitty Luxe Flagship Store (try saying that all in one breath) in Times Square.

• Side note: last time I went to the Hello Kitty Store was with the dude :( Sigh..

I will get a pass to the L'Oreal company store. I went last year and wanted to die from excitement. Basically what is is (for those not in the know) the store where L'Oreal sells all their shit (and the products of the brands they own: Maybelline, Kiehls, Shu Uemura, Lancome, Kerastase, La Roche-Posay, etc..) at a HUGE discount.

It's really hard to get into the store and there are only 2 ways to achieve this:

#1 is to know someone at L'Oreal (which was how I got in last year, but they were a friend of a friend and now the one dude doesn't like the other- long story short he can’t get me in now).

#2 is to either sacrifice your hair to Matrix (after my recent hair adventures no one is getting their hands on my hair) or sign up for L'Oreal's Consumer Expressions Research Center (CERC). The catch is you can't sign up for both and it's kinda hard to actually find out about CERC.

I managed to track down the address for CERC and convinced a co-worker that she should come with me (because you know it’s more fun to go on adventures in pairs). We talked our way past security into the L'Oreal bldg and went up to the third floor in the freight elevator. After walking past cages of amazing product (like every hair care, perfume product you could ever want) we found the desk to the motherland. We had to go one at a time and sit at a computer and enter our information. Afterwards they gave us a pamphlet with information about the CERC, let us know that we were one of THREE THOUSAND in their database (3,000 other people managed to find this place in Manhattan?!) and that we'd be getting an email shortly with another survey. Oh and at the end they give you a bag of goodies!!! Now the wait begins. But so help me god I will get into that Company Store if it kills me.

Yes, this is what I do with my day. Plan beauty adventures and make other people come with me.

I'm sitting at my desk, actually doing work, and this dude comes up to me. The conversation goes like this:

Dude: "Jessica I was just at the ice machine and the scoop was not in there."

M(e:) "O.K. Well sometimes it gets buried under the new ice as the machine makes more. If you just reach in it has to be there."

• Note: I don't EVER use ice at work. I don't like my drinks that cold. Oh and he didn't get the memo that it's WINTER and our office is freezing. Also, isn’t that just common logic?

Dude: "Hmm. Please go in there and find it or see if there is a replacement. I just had to use my glass to scoop ice."

Apparently between yesterday and 6pm and today at 10am my job description was changed to "Person who finds ice scoop for lazy bastard who is too lazy to stick his effing hand in the ice machine to locate the scoop for the ice he so desperately needs for his diet coke".

Just out of curiosity I went to the ice machine and looked inside it. The scoop was barely under one layer of ice. All I did was look in the machine. Needless to say, out of spite, I will not be assisting with the ice emergency.