I do.
I miss him.
It's been over a week since we had any contact. I've deleted him from my phone etc etc etc.... but I have to say, deep down I sort of thought I'd get a drunk dial or something. But no. It made me feel better to think that this is just as hard for him as it is for me, and that he misses me too... but... maybe I'm totally wrong.
I know he didn't always treat me right, and I deserve someone who does, blah blah blah...
But...
That doesn't make it any less sad.
And it's not like he's the only one that made any mistakes- I had my share.
Because at times it sucked, sure.
But it was also the happiest I've ever been.
And I'm really trying to 'be good', b/c during our last conversation, he warned me that it's up to me and 'how I handle this' to determine whether I go down as "great girl, sorry it didn't work out" vs "psycho ex, good riddance."
Blah.
I was going to write a whole big thing about match.com.... but now I don't feel like it.
I don't know why I'm randomly awake at 430. When I *need* to get up at 430 (i.e. almost every day) I can't, and now I'm up for no reason? Guess I'll try to go back to sleep.
:(
Jenks's Journal
My Podcast Link
11/05/2008 05:02 #46543
I miss Dan.Category: :(
11/04/2008 21:31 #46528
the media amazes meI guess I should know better, but i'm just astounded at how differently different news outlets report the news.
For example: NYTimes.com says Obama has 83 electoral votes, and McCain has 8. It shows NY as ZERO PERCENT reported (after all, the polls closed like ten minutes ago), and they haven't assigned it a color yet.
MSNBC on the other hand says it 195 to 85, and has given NY to Obama.
I mean it's just splitting hairs at this point, and I'm sure NYT will catch up to MSNBC with the same outcome- I just find it funny how different the two are.
Damn media elite...
For example: NYTimes.com says Obama has 83 electoral votes, and McCain has 8. It shows NY as ZERO PERCENT reported (after all, the polls closed like ten minutes ago), and they haven't assigned it a color yet.
MSNBC on the other hand says it 195 to 85, and has given NY to Obama.
I mean it's just splitting hairs at this point, and I'm sure NYT will catch up to MSNBC with the same outcome- I just find it funny how different the two are.
Damn media elite...
metalpeter - 11/05/08 17:10
Remember this the next time you see a News story on TV news or in the papper and then switch to a differnt show or news outlet and get a different perspective on the same story for fun sometime or do it all the time.
Remember this the next time you see a News story on TV news or in the papper and then switch to a differnt show or news outlet and get a different perspective on the same story for fun sometime or do it all the time.
ajay - 11/05/08 04:16
Well, each media outlet has their own panel of analysts who make projections. Some media outlets won't call a state unless they're 100% sure.
And then, most will not call a state if the polls are still open there.
Well, each media outlet has their own panel of analysts who make projections. Some media outlets won't call a state unless they're 100% sure.
And then, most will not call a state if the polls are still open there.
11/04/2008 12:39 #46514
voted!Well, that was amazingly easy...
And I have to thank google maps... there's a "find your polling place" section now, and it led me to a link of 'helpful tips' that said 10-1130am and like 2-4pm are the less busy times to vote... I had been planning on getting up super early to go at 6, even though I have the day off...
But instead I went at 11, and there were 3 people in front of me. I was Voter 99 at my booth, but the other districts around me were in the 200-300 range. My landlord (who lives downstairs) said he went first thing, and there were 75 people in line in front of him.
In any case... I'm glad that was easy. I was expecting to wait for hours. :)
Now just to wait for the results.
And I have to thank google maps... there's a "find your polling place" section now, and it led me to a link of 'helpful tips' that said 10-1130am and like 2-4pm are the less busy times to vote... I had been planning on getting up super early to go at 6, even though I have the day off...
But instead I went at 11, and there were 3 people in front of me. I was Voter 99 at my booth, but the other districts around me were in the 200-300 range. My landlord (who lives downstairs) said he went first thing, and there were 75 people in line in front of him.
In any case... I'm glad that was easy. I was expecting to wait for hours. :)
Now just to wait for the results.
mrmike - 11/04/08 13:19
Love the ecard -- well said
Love the ecard -- well said
11/02/2008 20:41 #46478
duh...Peter made me realize I didn't post my pix from the party. There are only two, but here you go!
metalpeter - 11/03/08 17:56
Even though there are only two thanks for posting them they both are very good.
Even though there are only two thanks for posting them they both are very good.
mrmike - 11/02/08 21:44
Sorry I missed the shenanigans
Sorry I missed the shenanigans
paul - 11/02/08 21:01
Oh that hay. There is still hay everywhere.
Oh that hay. There is still hay everywhere.
11/04/2008 00:27 #46506
drunken ramblingsSo... a month or so ago I went to dinner with a bunch of people... met the woman sitting next to me for the first time, and spent most of the night commiserating over the fact that 'men suck'- she having recently been through a breakup, and myself on the verge.
There is also a friend of mine... who I have sort of always had a bit of a crush on... well he started dating someone... who at first I hated, just b/c she took him off the market. But then I actually got to know her a little, and realized I like her.
Well, since then, they've broken up. (her doing.)
And I felt like eating out. So I rounded up the woman from paragraph one, and the guy from paragraph two, and we went out to dinner. Intended as a 'friends go to dinner', but I also knew it had the potential to be an "all three of us just got dumped" bitch session.
So we went to Mulberry's for dinner. off off off the beaten path in Lackawanna, but delicious.
Then we were going to get an after dinner drink. But the other woman decided she had to get to bed. So the guy and I went for a drink. Which turned into a few. Including several random "hey I know you" moments for him- I forgot he's a bit of a local celebrity. I asked him "is that flattering, or annoying?" and he said the 'hey I know you, can I buy you a drink?' and a handshake is flattering. The drunken "let me tell you my life history by the way did i tell you you're amazing?" is annoying.
Anyway, so we had a couple drinks, and then hit the last bar, since he knows the bartender... and as we approached the door he said "oh and XX (the ex) is here." I said "is that good or bad?" (giving him a chance to back out since we hadn't opened the door yet) and he said "oh no it's fine." So we went in... said hi to her... ordered our beer... she then went outside... he had to follow her...
Ugh, how awkward!!! I mean, he and I have been friends for years. But I'm sure it looked strange from her end, to have him show up with just me, so soon after their breakup....
Hopefully I'm overreacting.
and drunken point #2- I hate this election.
I hate the fact that I am made to feel guilty if I am not super pro-Obama.
I am almost ashamed to admit that I do not want "GOBAMA!" stickers on my car.
I mean yeah he's black and that's amazing and revolutionary and all that... but does that in itself mean he's capable/prepared of running our country??
And then there's the added factor that NOT voting for him makes me look racist. there's more to it than race. Sure, he wants "change", but that's so easy to say....
I just don't know what to do. I don't LOVE Obama. I don't HATE McCain. But... Sarah Palin scares the bejeezus out of me. And the right wing republicans scare the crap out of me too, and I really don't want to be associated with them...
But have you noticed that anti-McCain jokes are totally ok and accepted, but if you dare criticize obama you are some racist bigot who thinks poor people should just die?
Part of me hopes that mccain wins just so the holier than thou obama fanatics will put a sock in it.
PART of me.
Ugh. This is why I avoid politics as much as possible.
Fuck. I really don't know what to do. Maybe I'll avoid the subject altogether and vote libertarian. Josh, Jason, where are you when I need you?
There is also a friend of mine... who I have sort of always had a bit of a crush on... well he started dating someone... who at first I hated, just b/c she took him off the market. But then I actually got to know her a little, and realized I like her.
Well, since then, they've broken up. (her doing.)
And I felt like eating out. So I rounded up the woman from paragraph one, and the guy from paragraph two, and we went out to dinner. Intended as a 'friends go to dinner', but I also knew it had the potential to be an "all three of us just got dumped" bitch session.
So we went to Mulberry's for dinner. off off off the beaten path in Lackawanna, but delicious.
Then we were going to get an after dinner drink. But the other woman decided she had to get to bed. So the guy and I went for a drink. Which turned into a few. Including several random "hey I know you" moments for him- I forgot he's a bit of a local celebrity. I asked him "is that flattering, or annoying?" and he said the 'hey I know you, can I buy you a drink?' and a handshake is flattering. The drunken "let me tell you my life history by the way did i tell you you're amazing?" is annoying.
Anyway, so we had a couple drinks, and then hit the last bar, since he knows the bartender... and as we approached the door he said "oh and XX (the ex) is here." I said "is that good or bad?" (giving him a chance to back out since we hadn't opened the door yet) and he said "oh no it's fine." So we went in... said hi to her... ordered our beer... she then went outside... he had to follow her...
Ugh, how awkward!!! I mean, he and I have been friends for years. But I'm sure it looked strange from her end, to have him show up with just me, so soon after their breakup....
Hopefully I'm overreacting.
and drunken point #2- I hate this election.
I hate the fact that I am made to feel guilty if I am not super pro-Obama.
I am almost ashamed to admit that I do not want "GOBAMA!" stickers on my car.
I mean yeah he's black and that's amazing and revolutionary and all that... but does that in itself mean he's capable/prepared of running our country??
And then there's the added factor that NOT voting for him makes me look racist. there's more to it than race. Sure, he wants "change", but that's so easy to say....
I just don't know what to do. I don't LOVE Obama. I don't HATE McCain. But... Sarah Palin scares the bejeezus out of me. And the right wing republicans scare the crap out of me too, and I really don't want to be associated with them...
But have you noticed that anti-McCain jokes are totally ok and accepted, but if you dare criticize obama you are some racist bigot who thinks poor people should just die?
Part of me hopes that mccain wins just so the holier than thou obama fanatics will put a sock in it.
PART of me.
Ugh. This is why I avoid politics as much as possible.
Fuck. I really don't know what to do. Maybe I'll avoid the subject altogether and vote libertarian. Josh, Jason, where are you when I need you?
dcoffee - 11/04/08 12:33
Voting is only part of it. If there are issues we care about, we need to make some noise between elections. It's not easy to stay up to date with what your representatives are doing, but when you call and put pressure on them, they usually take it seriously, especially on a local level. Putting one guy or another in the white house won't make our wildest dreams come true, sometimes I really wish it were that easy. But honestly, we have a more important role to play between elections. Pick the party or person closest to your values, but don't expect any of them to do what you want, keep an eye on those sombitches.
Voting is only part of it. If there are issues we care about, we need to make some noise between elections. It's not easy to stay up to date with what your representatives are doing, but when you call and put pressure on them, they usually take it seriously, especially on a local level. Putting one guy or another in the white house won't make our wildest dreams come true, sometimes I really wish it were that easy. But honestly, we have a more important role to play between elections. Pick the party or person closest to your values, but don't expect any of them to do what you want, keep an eye on those sombitches.
joshua - 11/04/08 11:32
Vote your conscience and if anybody has a problem with your own personal choice? FUCK 'EM. They're unimportant anyway.
Vote your conscience and if anybody has a problem with your own personal choice? FUCK 'EM. They're unimportant anyway.
lilho - 11/04/08 09:22
i don't hate mccain either. but i can't stand palin... and i think obama will do a better job with edcuation. so that's my choice. i don't think you are a jerk, and trust me i've heard my fair share of obama jokes...
i don't hate mccain either. but i can't stand palin... and i think obama will do a better job with edcuation. so that's my choice. i don't think you are a jerk, and trust me i've heard my fair share of obama jokes...
jenks - 11/04/08 08:52
Ok, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with this post- I'd had a few drinks.
And I'm not saying I'm pro/anti obama OR mccain. That's the problem. There are things I like about each of them, and things I really DISlike about each of them. I flip-flop daily.
I just hate the way the media has made obama out to be god, and mccain the devil.
And maybe it's just our demographic (i.e. young and college educated) but it seems no one has any problem telling you to vote for obama... but if anyone dares suggest 'vote mccain' they are practically booed out the door.
I voted for Bush. Do I admit that EVER? No. Has he done a terrible job: yes. But do we really think Kerry and his ambulance chaser running mate would have done much better? I just don't know....
But it's like if you're young and you're not a bleeding heart liberal something is wrong with you.
Bleh, that's why I just stay out of it and keep it to myself.
Ok, I'm sorry if I offended anyone with this post- I'd had a few drinks.
And I'm not saying I'm pro/anti obama OR mccain. That's the problem. There are things I like about each of them, and things I really DISlike about each of them. I flip-flop daily.
I just hate the way the media has made obama out to be god, and mccain the devil.
And maybe it's just our demographic (i.e. young and college educated) but it seems no one has any problem telling you to vote for obama... but if anyone dares suggest 'vote mccain' they are practically booed out the door.
I voted for Bush. Do I admit that EVER? No. Has he done a terrible job: yes. But do we really think Kerry and his ambulance chaser running mate would have done much better? I just don't know....
But it's like if you're young and you're not a bleeding heart liberal something is wrong with you.
Bleh, that's why I just stay out of it and keep it to myself.
jason - 11/04/08 08:34
Well, since the media has been crowning Obama for so long, it's no surprise that it doesn't occur to anyone that McCain could win. If he does win, this country will be on fire, I'm sure of it.
But don't let any asshole screw with your mind or otherwise try to influence you. Just know where it's coming from - there pretty much isn't anything they won't do as long as they get what they want. Morality isn't a concern for the man of action.
For the non-left winger, there are plenty of good reasons not to vote for Obama, if what he and his campaign have said and done are to be believed. People take this shit personally, thinking that by voting Republican you are taking food out of their mouths. I know at the party there was one dude who kept on eyeing me weird. Ignore the external shit and vote the way you want.
Well, since the media has been crowning Obama for so long, it's no surprise that it doesn't occur to anyone that McCain could win. If he does win, this country will be on fire, I'm sure of it.
But don't let any asshole screw with your mind or otherwise try to influence you. Just know where it's coming from - there pretty much isn't anything they won't do as long as they get what they want. Morality isn't a concern for the man of action.
For the non-left winger, there are plenty of good reasons not to vote for Obama, if what he and his campaign have said and done are to be believed. People take this shit personally, thinking that by voting Republican you are taking food out of their mouths. I know at the party there was one dude who kept on eyeing me weird. Ignore the external shit and vote the way you want.
libertad - 11/04/08 08:33
I don't think just because you don't love Obama you would be considered a racist. I am voting for him and it certainly is not because he is black. I'm voting for Obama because he is the most viable candidate for my class. Sure I could vote for Mckinney but I don't really like her. McCain is so far removed from my life the thought of voting for him hasn't even crossed my mind. If I was in the upper class, who knows who I would be voting for because the way that I perceive life now would be completely different.
All that said, I do believe that there are people who won't vote for him because they are racist. I don't think it is you but if you were a Hillary supporter I would raise an eyebrow if you voted for McCain. If someone routinely votes Democratic and then votes for McCain I would also raise an eyebrow. So although I am not voting for Obama because he is black, I think it is a very proud moment in the History of this country that we have a black man so close to the WHITE House.
I don't think just because you don't love Obama you would be considered a racist. I am voting for him and it certainly is not because he is black. I'm voting for Obama because he is the most viable candidate for my class. Sure I could vote for Mckinney but I don't really like her. McCain is so far removed from my life the thought of voting for him hasn't even crossed my mind. If I was in the upper class, who knows who I would be voting for because the way that I perceive life now would be completely different.
All that said, I do believe that there are people who won't vote for him because they are racist. I don't think it is you but if you were a Hillary supporter I would raise an eyebrow if you voted for McCain. If someone routinely votes Democratic and then votes for McCain I would also raise an eyebrow. So although I am not voting for Obama because he is black, I think it is a very proud moment in the History of this country that we have a black man so close to the WHITE House.
It's basically being in a position to get what you want in one way, but totally wasting your time long term in others.
Yea, any real estate in the city will get you top play. I remember a few years ago I ended up hooking up for a weekend in NYC the hottest chick I ever got in my life. Maybe I'm looking too much into it if she had me pegged for staying where I did, but I still smile once in a while thinking back about it.
thanks everyone.
vincent- no idea what you mean by 'moral hazard'.
and hodown- excellent point. I have a fancy hotel room for 5 nights, maybe I should put it to use.
And thanks J. I know you're right... I just need to get there.
and peter- you have a good point, except that I'm still not convinced that the reason he broke up with me is the real reason. But I won't say any more than that on the off chance he sees this.
I will admit I'm no relationship expert but here is my view anyways. You have to remember that you two broke up for a reason. It is natural to think that what ever that problem was is fixable (yes sometimes it is or sometimes it is small enough that two people can get back together and being together with the problem is better then being apart) and those underlying feelings are part of what make you miss him. I think that what people generaly do is look at the past and remember things selectively. Most of the time people remember the good parts and how a person makes you feel in a good way and they forget the bad. But this is natural if it was the other way around everyone would disown there families and everyfriend they ever met. It is important to understand that you miss him and remember the good times you had and then move on and see if you can find someone else. A good example of someone doing this is when you visit there house or there parents house and they have prom pictures and even semi-formal pictures displayed. Yeah things might not have worked out with those multiple dates but those events where still great at the time and they are good memories. I have never used match.com myself so I can't say but hey I say have fun in NYC and maybe you will meet some one and have a fun time.
Jenks- I'm so sorry to hear you're down in the dumps. However do be the cool chick who just let's it go. Easier said than done I know.
Breakups suck, BUT you are going to be in NYC. There's no better place top find a hot random hook up to soothe the pain :)
Don't miss someone who didn't always treat you right. God damn, have I ever been doing it wrong.
I would meet people from match.com, but it would always place me in the way of a "Moral Hazard."
match.com sucks. my sista warned me, but it really does. don't waste you money or your time.
Nothing wrong with that. I was on the receiving end of a break up in early summer. The abrupt end hurt like hell (mostly because things seemed so promising), but the good always trumps the bad. We were able to be polite soon after and even joke a little (I got sick soon after and in time was able to tease about the breakup causing bell's palsy). But I ultimately believe that stuff means you're healing from all the "troubles," remembering the good stuff and ultimately moving foreword.