As the 1972 election results came in, my uncle locked himself in his bedroom and drank one shot of whiskey for every state Richard Nixon won. He was very drunk indeed (WIKIPEDIA - United_States_presidential_election,_1972) I'm much more of a lightweight than he is, but in his honor I introduce the Sarah Palin Drinking Game. Since this will play out over the next week or two, the drinks will become payable at the Halloween party.

1. If John McCain doesn't fire Sarah Palin, take a drink.

2. If Sarah Palin is 'allowed to resign,' take a drink.

3. If the campaign cites sexism as a contributing factor to her departure, take a drink.

4. If the campaign cites liberal bias in the mainstream media as a contributing factor to her departure, take a drink.

5. If campaign spokesperson Tucker Bounds names the New York Times specifically as a contributing factor to her departure, take two drinks.

6a. If Thursday's debate is cancelled because the campaign has not yet appointed a new vice presidential nominee, take a drink.

6b. Alternatively, if Palin hasn't mercifully dropped out by the debate, drink heavily throughout.

7. If the campaign replaces Sarah Palin with Rudy Giuliani, take three drinks - you'll need them.


- Z

If you don't love politics read this instead.

I try to steer away from political stuff since there are already too many commentators on the Internet. But I can't resist now that McCain/Palin has jumped the shark and half a dozen schoolbuses on a motorcycle while wearing a wookiee suit and singing Blaze of Glory.

First we got John McCain over here calling his second time-out of the game. No man, you can't stop the roller coaster when you want to get off. If he's trying to grab headlines, the liberal press just keeps giving him the wrong ones. Yesterday a Google News junkie such as myself would have seen 'agreement in principle' in the afternooon, 'John McCain arrives' in the evening, and 'partisan chaos' by nightfall.

And then there's the debate tonight. Seeing as how you can't have a debate without two people and a moderator, I'm totally geared up tonight to see Barack Obama, Jim Lehrer, and King Friday XIII.

Then we got Sarah Palin over here. She's been a VP nominee for a month and they still won't let her talk to the press. Now we know why. She finally gives an interview and manages to make Joe Biden look like William Jennings Bryan. The VP debate is going to be a train wreck with tankers full of vinegar and boxcars full of baking soda.





- Z

Mr. Bernanke, how's the economy?



If Enron and WorldCom are proof that the system works, what are Bear Stearns, FNMA, FHLMC, and AIG?

Edited to add Ron Paul and the Chamber of Commerce

- Z

I'm going to take an unpopular position: I liked Microsoft's ads. I don't even like Jerry Seinfeld, but I liked the idea of Bill Gates as a warped Dave Thomas. I liked the idea of two out-of-touch dudes trying to reconnect with America in the most awkward way possible. They weren't funny. They weren't supposed to be funny. They were weird, but I guess weird doesn't sell.



Here's an even more unpopular position: I kind of like Bill Gates. He's really chilled out since Steve Ballmer took over. He no longer sounds like some college sophomore who's just discovered Ayn Rand. Now he's just some dude you might find hanging out at a bridge tournament in grungy jeans. [True story: my brother-in-law played him at bridge, and won.]



But of course people hated the campaign so they're scrapping it for something that's clever but predictable: a bunch of people who are not John Hodgman, with not-combovers and wearing not-business suits, being not-pathetic, and holding up signs that say "I'm a PC." Lame.

- Z

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ps. Yes, I'm famous for being lazy. I think that's worse than being famous for being fat.

I made a meatloaf last night and it smelled like hot dogs. I don't know how something like that even happens. )-:

Natalie Dee is funny in a way that is difficult to explain.


'dead in the eyes and coming for you specifically'

- Z