It has been so long since I have done anything competitively with darts, but tonight the Dynamic Duo are back in action at a local bar/BBQ joint. I am so excited to play again! As some of you may remember when I was in dart league before it got scrapped in the middle of the season because of no-shows and whatnot.

Yesterday we went to Gordon's for some practice rounds, and I have to say I blew. Badly. I've never had an issue hitting the dart board or even really with control but yesterday was terrible. Things got better over time, and I'm not worried because in crunch time we always thrive. I can't go to the venue tonight and not cream the opposition.

So here's to me representing the Elmwood Village tonight! Just need a beer or two to loosen up and it's all gravy. If you want to play and have fun, that's fine, but don't plan on winning.

I've started a few and stopped them. Sometimes I get on a roll and then decide I don't want to publish. Anyway here are some of the things I've been thinking about:

1) Marriage - I don't like answering questions at the family reunion if I am married or not. This is simple - if I am married, and you are my family, you are invited. You would already know. Stupid question!

2) We've been shown the same photos of my cousin Joe's (now) wife probably 3 or 4 times since he started dating her. They keep on saying how beautiful she is. At first I thought it was cute, but this repetition has me wondering if they're unintentionally rubbing it in my eye. Do they know they've shown me the same shit over and over?

3) Related to #2 - why am I supposed to be impressed by the looks of a girl, when people of that quality or better are on Elmwood literally every single day? I don't want to be insulting but I don't have the same gut reaction, thinking she's the most beautiful girl ever. Isn't it enough for me to say I'm happy he found a nice girl?

4) No wonder Joe eloped, he probably saw how big of a deal was going to be made of things and decided to go ahead and do it on the low. For as much as my uncle brags about everything the guy does, Joe would rather button up and just go about his business. Lots of military people are like this.

5) The insurance company for the mechanics who further fucked up my already below par automobile are allegedly sending a check. They called, left a message saying they wanted to talk to the owner of the car. I called, left a message for the lady, but nothing's happened. I have a feeling they're going to cut me a below average check and say "consider yourself lucky."

6) Back to marriage - Dad always told me to wait until you're 30 to really think about it. It's the best advice he's ever given me. I'd ask him for advice on how to pick good ones (I don't) but I don't think he knows either.

7) I finally got the opportunity to be superficial, got the good thing to balance out the junk (think birthday party with models) but I think I'll have to go home and do a FFL draft instead. I don't think I'm going to get over this. FUCK FFL!!! I'm going to have to be drugged up so much to not be in a very, very bad mood that day.

8) Saw Sam Roberts at Artpark yesterday. Cool show! I have kept my promise and been out a lot more, and seen some good music. Someone we were with said they were dying to go see Gov't Mule on Tuesday but had nobody to go with. I was in the same situation!

The good news is I have new front and back brakes on my car, a new left tie rod, and an alignment. Sweet. I also have a fresh dent in my rear passenger side door. The mechanic said they were sorry and they would fix it....but....fucking A!! FUCK!!!

I've caught myself saying kind things about Obama lately, obviously because of his "play" to the center. I like reasonable people. The thing is, this candy coated wankfest really needs to end. You know what I'm talking about - the unicorn riding, animal magnet Obama parodied so well by JibJab.

Listen, I don't want to curb anyone's excitement, but does the question "Is Obama an enlightened being" really need to be asked? Rolling Stone already canonized him in March. This stuff is becoming more and more absurd. Look at this silly shit:



"Let me be completely clear: I'm not arguing some sort of utopian revolution, a big global group hug with Obama as some sort of happy hippie camp counselor."

BUUUUUT let's listen to the New Age spiritual advisors about Obama's deity-like countenance, not to be confused with the REAL nuts, the "coweringly religious." Psychiatrists attribute UFO abduction phenomena to "mass delusion" and I really have to get on my amateur shrink soap box and ask if these people are suffering from the same thing.

He's a guy. Really, that's what he is, honest. I bet if you prick his finger, he bleeds like you and me.

Out of Control Stress

The stop smoking campaign isn't going very well, I have to admit. I got into an accident a couple of weekends ago, and have been dealing with epic piles of bullshit ever since. You guys have to admit I have come a long way in terms of my volatility, but this has me spitting flames I'm so angry.

The Accident

Josh and I were in the car and stopped at the 4-way stop signs at Forest Avenue and Lincoln Parkway. There were two cars in the opposite direction, ready to cross each other through the intersection. The other party, let's call him "Sparky" started creeping up behind one of the cars, C2.



C1 and C2 cross the intersection, passing each other. As C1 and C2 pass each other, Sparky creeps up to the stop sign at which C2 had just been. We're still stopped at the intersection as C1 and C2 pass, awaiting our turn.



I start going, knowing it's my turn to cross through the intersection and Sparky, apparently not knowing the fucking rules, starts crossing through the intersection as well. I didn't notice in time, and he struck my rear passenger side panel/bumper.



The Aftermath

There was literally no damage to my car. The only evidence of an accident on my car was a streak of paint from Sparky's car. Unfortunately, Sparky was unlucky and had some damage. His plate holder flew off and he had some scrapes on his front bumper. The hood and headlights were all fine, thank goodness. The damage was contained to one piece.

Of course, continuing his questionable judgment, Sparky assumed that he would go through my insurance to pay. We waited for Buffalo's finest to show up so we could file a police report. Everyone was fine and in decent spirits. Things were cordial.

The officer arrived eventually and got all of our information. He gave us both forms with the other person's information on it. We both started getting into what happened for a few seconds when he said that he wasn't going to talk about guilt, and that there would be no police report. We had to go through our insurance companies. Fine, okay, whatever you say.

After this we continued on our way and I started the process of notifying my insurance company of what happened, gave them every piece of information I had, and also asked them a few questions. The next day I got a call from a different guy asking for my statement and other information. I also ended up giving Sparky's insurance company the same statement, and they notified me there was no claim open with them, that Sparky was still trying to get my insurance company to pay for the damages.

The Bullshit

Since then things have gotten incredibly bizarre. After some talks with my insurance guy, I ended up finding out Sparky told a different story, that not only was it my fault, but that I had actually run the 4-way stop!!! The insurance guy ensured me that things were in our favor, and to not worry. He explained what was going to happen from now on, and that it could potentially take weeks or months for it all to get sorted.

Today I got a call from the insurance guy telling me something new, and I have to say I'm shocked. He told me that he had a voice mail from officer so and so saying that I had admitted guilt at the scene, that I had admitted cutting Sparky off (what about me running the 4-way?), and that a notarized memo was coming. There is a problem with this scenario:

I NEVER ADMITTED GUILT TO ANYBODY. NEVER EVER EVER!!!!

I'm so angry right now. I wonder what the motivations are here. The cynical side of me has thinking it is really ugly. We are in a city divided. I don't want to think that way, it is only going to make me a nasty person, so I'm going to assume he made a simple mistake, and that Sparky filled his head with crap.

If I really was guilty, the insurance would have never been fucking involved! I can afford it and would have paid for a fucking bumper with cash! But I did nothing wrong, nothing at all, other than not realizing in time that Sparky was flying through the intersection. This is about me not having to pay for a mistake that was not my own. I'm an honest man and I'm trying to do the right thing here.

Dealing With It

So, as it stands, I am smoking more than ever. I can't believe things have gone this way, but I remain confident that the facts and the evidence will outweigh this heaping, stinking pile of feces currently in my lap. I don't ask for a lot, but this one time I need things to go in my favor. Justice is justice.