Well that was a total disaster, and utterly embarrassing. We've never done so poorly as a team, and I am definitely not used to sucking at darts individually. Of course, when you know you're sucking it doesn't help when your partner breaks your balls. No, not even I escape that, although the words were tempered.

The thing is, neither he nor I should really care *that much* about a $5 darts tournament, but both of us care a lot. I have to admit I am still totally deflated and bummed out. My energy level is nominal. I was so out of it and aloof that I didn't notice this girl "bumping" into me, saying I "saved" her life. A cute little thing, asianesque like the last one. Really though I couldn't have cared less at the time.

Man, I've got to shake these blues, it was just a darts game!!!

It has been so long since I have done anything competitively with darts, but tonight the Dynamic Duo are back in action at a local bar/BBQ joint. I am so excited to play again! As some of you may remember when I was in dart league before it got scrapped in the middle of the season because of no-shows and whatnot.

Yesterday we went to Gordon's for some practice rounds, and I have to say I blew. Badly. I've never had an issue hitting the dart board or even really with control but yesterday was terrible. Things got better over time, and I'm not worried because in crunch time we always thrive. I can't go to the venue tonight and not cream the opposition.

So here's to me representing the Elmwood Village tonight! Just need a beer or two to loosen up and it's all gravy. If you want to play and have fun, that's fine, but don't plan on winning.

I've started a few and stopped them. Sometimes I get on a roll and then decide I don't want to publish. Anyway here are some of the things I've been thinking about:

1) Marriage - I don't like answering questions at the family reunion if I am married or not. This is simple - if I am married, and you are my family, you are invited. You would already know. Stupid question!

2) We've been shown the same photos of my cousin Joe's (now) wife probably 3 or 4 times since he started dating her. They keep on saying how beautiful she is. At first I thought it was cute, but this repetition has me wondering if they're unintentionally rubbing it in my eye. Do they know they've shown me the same shit over and over?

3) Related to #2 - why am I supposed to be impressed by the looks of a girl, when people of that quality or better are on Elmwood literally every single day? I don't want to be insulting but I don't have the same gut reaction, thinking she's the most beautiful girl ever. Isn't it enough for me to say I'm happy he found a nice girl?

4) No wonder Joe eloped, he probably saw how big of a deal was going to be made of things and decided to go ahead and do it on the low. For as much as my uncle brags about everything the guy does, Joe would rather button up and just go about his business. Lots of military people are like this.

5) The insurance company for the mechanics who further fucked up my already below par automobile are allegedly sending a check. They called, left a message saying they wanted to talk to the owner of the car. I called, left a message for the lady, but nothing's happened. I have a feeling they're going to cut me a below average check and say "consider yourself lucky."

6) Back to marriage - Dad always told me to wait until you're 30 to really think about it. It's the best advice he's ever given me. I'd ask him for advice on how to pick good ones (I don't) but I don't think he knows either.

7) I finally got the opportunity to be superficial, got the good thing to balance out the junk (think birthday party with models) but I think I'll have to go home and do a FFL draft instead. I don't think I'm going to get over this. FUCK FFL!!! I'm going to have to be drugged up so much to not be in a very, very bad mood that day.

8) Saw Sam Roberts at Artpark yesterday. Cool show! I have kept my promise and been out a lot more, and seen some good music. Someone we were with said they were dying to go see Gov't Mule on Tuesday but had nobody to go with. I was in the same situation!

The good news is I have new front and back brakes on my car, a new left tie rod, and an alignment. Sweet. I also have a fresh dent in my rear passenger side door. The mechanic said they were sorry and they would fix it....but....fucking A!! FUCK!!!

I've caught myself saying kind things about Obama lately, obviously because of his "play" to the center. I like reasonable people. The thing is, this candy coated wankfest really needs to end. You know what I'm talking about - the unicorn riding, animal magnet Obama parodied so well by JibJab.

Listen, I don't want to curb anyone's excitement, but does the question "Is Obama an enlightened being" really need to be asked? Rolling Stone already canonized him in March. This stuff is becoming more and more absurd. Look at this silly shit:



"Let me be completely clear: I'm not arguing some sort of utopian revolution, a big global group hug with Obama as some sort of happy hippie camp counselor."

BUUUUUT let's listen to the New Age spiritual advisors about Obama's deity-like countenance, not to be confused with the REAL nuts, the "coweringly religious." Psychiatrists attribute UFO abduction phenomena to "mass delusion" and I really have to get on my amateur shrink soap box and ask if these people are suffering from the same thing.

He's a guy. Really, that's what he is, honest. I bet if you prick his finger, he bleeds like you and me.