Adobe AIR is an impressive* new technology that the BBC has used to produce a swearing Olympics monkey. Although they've since updated the application, the list of swear words has [of course] been archived online elsewhere . George Carlin eat your heart out, they've got 1,400 listed here.

- Z

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• I wrote the scoreboard/advertising/multimedia controller for the QCRGs using the AIR beta, and that's some dang heavy lifting. So far commercially it seems to mostly be used for the kind of application that Marketing thinks would be great but which ends up taking up way too much desktop real estate and provides too little functionality for the amount of advertising it spews for anybody to actually use it,** which is a real bummer.
  
• Guilty as charged. But I only did*** the Mac version and I used Objective-C, which at least excuses it from this conversation. Don't bother looking for it though, it only works in Baltimore.
  
• I will make it up to the Internet, I promise. More later, maybe.

Rice Krispie Treats!



Also: successfully nailing Jell-O to a wall.*

Conclusion: There is still good in this world.

- Z

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• Spoiler: Ramen noodles.

The suburbs are boring and humorless. So when you see something like this on your street you know that's a special thing.



- Z

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I am blogging a lot lately because B is out of town and Chita Rivera doesn't like my jokes.

I have a lovely sunporch off the back of my house, with big screened windows all around and an aluminum roof that goes pok pok pok in the rain. We have a table and a couple relatively comfortable chairs out here, a minifridge stocked with beer and lemonade, and we'll usually move the couch out here for the summer. Now that I work from home, this is my office too. This right here is what summer is about.

I live in a section of town where the houses and yards are very small. I do not see this as a problem. I have neighbors who I think secretly or publicly hate me, but oddly enough I don't see this as a problem either. One of my passive aggressive neighbors has a stinky orange cat who likes to kill rabbits and pick fights, and while I do see this as a problem with teeth and claws, it is also a problem small enough that it is easily tossed over the nearest fence.

Here is my problem: Central air conditioning. Both of my next door neighbors and my back yard neighbor have central air conditioning for their homes, which are just as tiny as mine. It is 75 degrees outside and all three air conditioners are running. [Energy crisis what?] It's the kind of loud where you don't really realize how loud it is until that rare thirty seconds where all three thermostats are synced up and all three homes are exactly the right temperature AND WHEN THE LAST ONE SHUTS OFF YOU CAN FINALLY HEAR THE CRICKETS OH SORRY I DIDN'T... I didn't realize I was yelling. That's what it feels like, anyway.

- Z

So I guess there was like this huge hype about a new search engine named Cuil? except the comment threads of the news sites are telling me it's pretty awful.

When I Google myself it's mostly me, and stupid questions I've posted on [usually technical] mailing lists about compiling shit, or whatever. A few years ago there was another David Kleinschmidt who - well, I can't imagine him not being extremely gay in a very stereotypical manner [seriously: a singer with Oberlin's Gilbert & Sullivan society?]

But when I Cuiled myself -holy shit! What the Hell does this even mean? It's like they took Safe Search, and made the opposite of that.



Who's Grandma Flyer? Why are there goofballs in my home and garden? What is a Flyer Monkey?? Whose ass crack is that?! What does "FIST CITY BLUE & FISH" even mean?!?

Jeesh. First Google lists me as a GNUstep user, and now this. How embarrassing.

- Z

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btw: RIP Ted Stevens' career. The man authored the Alaska Statehood Act, for Chrissakes. I guess he'll have plenty of time on his hands to figure out Outlook Express.