i am so tired! I've been working since 830 this morning. i worked at the hospital and then left to come here and work at my other job.

i am not sure sure what time the parents will be home, but hopefully before 11. i am not sure i can stay up that late!!!

did you ever get that tired feeling and your eyes just hurt and then you get an awful pounding headache? its like, your body know you need to go to bed and its punishing you for not doing so.

sometimes a whole day at the hospital can be really tough. our census has been really low, and they is actually not much work for me to do, since i handle all of the patients paperwork, appointments, and consults. but, it seems less tiring sometimes when it is busy, maybe because time passes quicker.

also, three patient passed away in the past day. that can be very depressing. especially to see the family, and you get to know that family members when they are there so much. two of the patients that passed seemed to be getting better, and then they just went like that. i saw one of them. i don't know i wanted to see him, but i did, and now i think i am going to have nightmares.

i really think nurses have one of the hardest jobs out there. doctors too, but sometimes i think nurses more so. they spend so much times with the patients and do all of the dirty work, and then when a patient passes, it can be like losing a friend.

i am happy that i am going to be a teacher, and i get to see the development of people, not the digression...

i miss my grandma. :(

when i see all of the older patients, so many of them are so out of it. my granny kinda lost it towards the end, but she still went so gracefully. i remember that last time i talked to her before she got really bad. i was holding her hand and thought she was sleeping, and she squeezed my hand, because she knew somehow that i was crying, even though her eyes were closed as she said, "I am going to be ok sarah."

it just made me cry more. she was so strong. she never complained, and even when she was dying, she was trying to make it easier.

it will be so good to visit her grave. i feel bad about not being at the funeral, but most of my extended family is just way too much for me to handle, and this way i can pay my respects in peace.

i think now is the perfect time to go to blo.

it's going to be really nice to not be in that hospital for a whole week...

i will be in tha dyrty buff....


aug 8th-15th.



that's less than two weeks from now....



:O)

one giant leap for me being on time...



i bought alarm clock today... i am officially becoming a responsible adult. really.

i get up for work everyday at 630. i floss- even though i hate it.



this is a huge deal, after years of using my cell phone, which is never the best idea. i hate having my phone on at night, unless im out or up. so, now i don't have to deal with texts or calls, and i can wake up to that age old lovely buzzing noise that many have come to know and hate...

so i had this awful tonsilitis. and i had it while i was still w/o ac/ kinda homeless and had to work 12 hrs everyday. well, the meds i took gave my major stomach issues.

i was reduced to eating... toast and sprite and bananas for 8 days. so i was done with that on friday. i went out friday night and had little fun. i was the dd, not one ounce of alcohol, not one.

i ate healthy today, and not even that much, and i come home from work and what do i get???? more stomach issues!!!!!!!!!!! wtf???!!!

i went to church today... because i wanted to. i think i just feel like going to church. i didn't do anything bad or anything, but i just wanted to go. and this is how god rewards me? not fair.

also, it seems many men are trying to hollr at me and the one that i actually like, has not contacted me in four days. now, to a woman that is a lifetime, to a man maybe not.

i think this calls for a massive brownie sundae, even though i will probably be sick ten minutes later...

and i am reverting back to the "shopping for labels, not shopping for love", attitude.

so, still no ac. day 19. i want to sleep in my bed. 19 days of not sleeping in my bed has resulted in several strained back muscles. for real my back is messed up.

i also got tonsilitis over the weekend from god know what. maybe from working 80 hours last week and not getting proper sleep. and the anitbiotic i am on prevents me from eating food. otherwise its some major stomach issues. so its like bananas and crackers until saturday. i learned the lesson the hard way yesterday at the movies, nough said.

finally found the courage to quit my one job...phew.

im making a lot of money, but im somehow always broke. this could be because i spend way too much money on clothes...

and gas is killing me., everything is so spread out here, so i end up spending about 70 a week on gas. thats 280 a month, byebye extra cash...

but i am also in the process of paying of my stupid car which is like over 1000 a month, so i can get it paid off before school starts, so i wont have to worry.

then when i am done paying off the car, i can move on to credit card debt. why i ever got one i don't know. i am go to pay it all off and then get one to pay for gas and pay it off right away to build credit. thats what they say i should do...

i miss buffalo and all of my friend so much right now, i think maybe the most since I've been here. i love it here, but i just need to reconnect with the old sarah and all of buffalo's loveliness. i also miss my sister a ton and this is the longest i have gone without seeing her i think since i was 16 or something crazy like that.

its not right.

quess i will just have to continue working millions of hours so i can make these dreams of trips come true.

if the ac is not fixed by friday, the mom and i are headed to a resort for some major r&R. please god, let it be fixed!!!!!!!!!!!!

i have realised how cool it is to have a lil sis. my cousin is the same age dif as (e:hodown) and i and it's great. she is so cute and pretty and fun, and gives me backrubs when i say. oh the joys!