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james
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06/26/2008 23:22 #44796

Terrible Poem
Category: poetry
Hi,

I was talkiing to (e:TinyPliny) in the chat yesterday and I mentioned that I once wrote a terrible, terrible poem. Years later I put into an online translator, Babel Fish. I translated it from English to French to Spanish to a dozen other languages and then retraced my steps translating it in the opposite order back to English. When I got it back it was lovely nonsense. So, here is my nonsense.

Throw manner hide themselves
I in the town
ways which in the bucket kitchen
the will Ing of migration is
that I and the time find you?

How does the water of bath run far
the way is
and flesh is boneses
which these boneses
wandering and these boneses

find you cold my flesh in the angle air? ,

Or does run away the bucket hide
Smoldering that continues put roofs of roof,
there in the panels of floors or perhaps,
will want you,

find only this part
ventilates the part that I
I far hid throw in mount and
in wandering in the sky the will
that you zoekt here after me?

Since you take the bladen to doré
air melt red and flesh these taters
fall and these boneses are gold
where turn I these find?

Have a spirit under your bladen
of bed of fragrance which is
remaining with the taste of the
wasgott on your lips or a white breath

perhaps swims in air,
one has expired,
I remain memory,
in the part contain thrown far


tinypliny - 06/27/08 15:21
Yeah, my choreography would fit like a glove on (e:zobar)'s version. (don't forget the bit waitress part - maybe I can pour acid over unruly patrons or the choir who wants to find something. I could say, "HERE YOU GO SUCKERS. You just found acid.))
-j
lauren - 06/27/08 11:29
mmmm taters.

metalpeter - 06/27/08 10:20
Hi James It was nice to run into you the other day it was kinda a surprise, hope things are still good on the political front. Secondly it would be cool to put up the really bad poem so we could compare them.
james - 06/27/08 10:06
Tiny: Can you do the choreography for our soap musical extravaganza?

Zobar: now I understand why black metal lyrics never make any sense.
tinypliny - 06/27/08 09:16
I love your version!!! I am all about inflatable demons...
But where is the bit waitress part???
zobar - 06/27/08 09:09
You've just got to read it right. I prefer the key of 'progressive Teutonic elf-metal' with just a touch of 'Andrew Lloyd Weber:'

AIR MELT RED AND FLESH THESE TATERS.
[and the guitar goes:] JOW JOW JOW JOW
FALL [FALL!] AND THESE BONESES ARE GOLD!
[JOW JOW JOW JOW]
[and then the choir goes:] Where turn I these find?
[JOW JOW JOW! … JOW JOW JOW!]
[and the drummer goes BLAP BLADDLE BLADDLE BLADDLE BLAP BLADDLE BLADDLE BLADDLE on the double bass drum]
[cue the flash pots as the inflatable demon descends upon the stage]

- Z
tinypliny - 06/26/08 23:49
That is superlative! Does it translate to:

Part I: The Flesh

Taking bath in a clawed bathtub,
I saw acid come out the faucet.

Limply stared as my body melted
I flowed down into the panels.

The eyes floated in the wreck of my soul
I gazed up at the roof.

Static, my bones remained
I felt them and they were made of GOLD!

Part II: The spirit

My greed got the better of me
I wanted them, oh how I wanted them!

I died but my spirit remained to watch
As my bones glowed, bright and yellow

The delicious poisoned wine that I drank
The taste remained as my lips grew cold

I swim in air but my memories are below
They anchor me even as I drift far beyond.
--------------

You have an epic in your hands... If you combine this with (e:mike)'s soap opera (and give me the bit part of the snarky waitress) we have a broadway hit on our hands. THIS COULD BE PHENOMENAL!!!!










06/24/2008 20:09 #44775

Who wants a job!
Howdy,

If you know anyone that wants a job making a living wage for a couple months have them email me. The job would be talking to people about issues and political candidates. Qualifications are you must be 18 or over, able to walk, and good talking with people. We do all training so no experience is necessary.

-James
lauren - 06/26/08 11:30
Congrats on your new position my friend! And although I see that Felly has already gotten to you, I am not the door to door type. I hated selling Girl Scout cookies and therefore decided to quit. Terrible, I know :)
fellyconnelly - 06/25/08 07:12
ask lauren!
drew - 06/24/08 21:55
I know some people that are looking for work at my church. Can you email me exactly what the job is and the qualifications? Can students do it?

06/21/2008 14:08 #44741

My Beloved Peeps
Hi,

I missed the last party and I don't blog as much as I used to. I miss my epeeps.

Here is a picture of a boxer and a goat.


image
paul - 06/24/08 20:40
We miss you, where are your, "I am working out getting buff pics."
fellyconnelly - 06/23/08 10:35
next time post a photo of a goat wearing boxers.
tinypliny - 06/21/08 21:29
WE MISS YOU ZOMBIE-JAMES!!
Goat-boxer pics don't cut it! We need juicy stories of KGB spies under a leaky kitchen sink!!!!

06/15/2008 20:38 #44659

Brandy Cherries
Yum Yum,

I have cherries soaking in brandy in my fridge. Hope they are ready in time for the next party, because we will all be cherry soaked messes then.

love,

-James
mike - 06/17/08 18:12
my parents always have a healthy supply of brandy cherries in the house for some reason...for reals, they always do
james - 06/15/08 21:40
Yup, just make sure you fill the jar to the top so there is no air in it. Put on a rubber gasket and seal it tight.
boxerboi - 06/15/08 21:35
mmm cherries. you just drop them in and let them soak?

06/14/2008 13:56 #44648

Just for you Paul
Toirtose attacks kitties.



adorable ensues.
mike - 06/14/08 23:41
that is too freakin cute
metalpeter - 06/14/08 20:09
That yellow one reminds me of my sis's cat. I beat he would do the same thing put his paw on it and go away. I wonder what the tortoise wanted. I'm guessing the cat just felt like lying around (they can get pretty lazy) and was bothered by the tortoise or the shell freaked it out.
jenks - 06/14/08 17:20
man, that tortoise is CRUISING. he has a purpose!