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Lilho's Journal

lilho
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03/29/2008 11:47 #43821

a message?
so, i haven't blogged in a while. im preoccupied with life or something i guess.

i ditched the mormon, the way he spoke to me was not ok. plus, im prtty sure that he thinks women are here to serve men. f that. i will serve no one. ok, maybe my mom, but that's it. the rest of you can serve yourself.

everything else here is just dandy. im obsessed with hiking now, and try to go 5 times a week. it's an intense work out, and who knows what this mad fitness streak will lead to.

i love arizona.

i did not love this message:

"f you wanna some sex by webcamera, just wright me: cz1000 AT mail.ru and we will spend very good and tender evening together"


wtf? i never get messages, and now i get this? can someone send me a nice friendly message so it can negate that one? please.

here's a pic of the place where i hike:



image
terry - 04/01/08 09:45
you can't quite say that (e:jenks) is 100% false (e:joshua). Mormons really do believe that God was once like us and we can be like him. In other words the possibility for god-hood does exist, with the possibility of "ruling your own planet". And while women may be "equal" and "sealed" to their husbands, there is a very strong tradition of women taking on a woman's role (ie: mother, housekeeper) and deferring to the husband's judgement in most other areas. Again, not all Momos are like that, but it's there. An example is that only men can enter into the Priesthood, which bestows them with powers (offering blessings and healing by laying on of hands, etc.) that women cannot have. Also, the organizational structure of the chirch puts the men into the priesthood and women into what's called the "relief society" where, in my experience, they baked cookies and organized events. Every Sunday after the main service the men go to one room to discuss priestly matters and the women go into another to plan the next bake sale (to be honest, they may do other things too, as a boy I was never allowed in there).
joshua - 03/31/08 17:46
Jenks - having a Mormon for an uncle I can tell you that this is 100% unequivocally false and probably came from someone who is totally ignorant of religion let alone the wild and wacky world of Mormonism!

The truth is that Mormons believe strongly in the concept of God's house "having many mansions" as Jesus says in the Bible. What they are referring to are different levels of heaven that people get slotted into depending on how well, pious they've been. The idea that women are not spiritual equals is false. Its incredibly important for Mormons to be "sealed" in heaven with their wife or husband - its a bond similar to marriage except more intense: when they say forever, they really mean forever. When my grandpa died it was important for my uncle to seal my grandpa and grandma before he actually passed on. I see it as his own religious imposition on a man who thought Mormonism was silly and crazy up to the day of his death, but whatever.
jenks - 03/29/08 17:13
i've been meaning to look it up to confirm it, b/c all the mormons I know are SUPER nice, but someone was telling me that they believe that when they die they go to their own special PLANET and rule it, and that women can't go to their planets til their men "call them" there.

WTF?! sounds redic, hope it's not true...
brit - 03/29/08 14:43
be careful on them trails ho! I wanna go hiking when I come visit.... maybe less of an intense workout for me and more of a fat bastard wobble down the hill with a bottle of wine though?

03/16/2008 15:43 #43695

happy parade day
Category: st. patty's day
i took this last year. i think it's a great shot, enjoy the festivities ya'll!


image

03/10/2008 00:27 #43600

sometimes you wanna go,
where everybody knows your name. and they're always glad you came. you wanna be where you can see, your troubles are all the same.

this pretty much sums up how i feel right now. what i would give to be around great friends.

i was supposed to go out tonight, and then my friend cancels at the very very last minute. this is lame.

i did my hair and makeup. i look fly. so fly to sit at home.

i need to be constantly busy right now. i need need need to. otherwise i have time to be sad. my grandma past last week, and i don't think it has totally hit yet. she was/is so important to me, and now she is gone. i feel so lost, and sad, and really like i need to be busy. my mom is leaving for like 5 days to go to buffalo for the funeral, and i don't want to stay here alone. i don't want to cry, because when i do it is so hard to stop.

i miss her so damn much, and i wish i could tell her how i feel right now, she always knew the right thing to say and how to make me feel better. it was such a simple beautiful love. to know that the person you are looking at, is looking back at you, and accepts you completely, and loves you, and thinks you are the greatest. you don't get that very much.

it's hard not to think i keep losing people i love, and i need to start gaining. i am so tired of goodbyes, they are too hard. i am trying really hard to not let it make me want to close up. but, losing people you love is so hard.

i hate broken hearts. i don't want one anymore.

i don't want to deal with the difficulties of romance, or the disappointment friendship so often brings. sometimes i feel like the only one who will never ever let me down is my mother and sister. honestly, i know this. they have given me so much, it is like no one else is ever good enough. no one else can ever meet that expectation.

i want to tell my granny about it. i want to hug her, and make her laugh. she would make it better.

i know it will get better, but it's so hard right now. it's really just the hardest thing i've done. to say goodbye to her. i want to pick up the phone and call her, or stop by, and bring her a treat. i want to tell her i love her, but i can't.

i think i need to go pour myself a strong one. and cry and hug my mom.

maybe i should buy some new shoes this week. retail therapy is a good short term remedy.
megan - 03/10/08 20:56
Sorry to hear about your grandma. If you need people, you've got lots here.
mrmike - 03/10/08 10:11
Not to second a thought or anything, but the folks are right, let it out and come to Buffalo with mom to say goodbye. The emotional release of letting go and recharging with some peeps will help.
enknot - 03/10/08 09:56
Jenks is right about the airfare you get a much cheaper rate... It's a strange time in my life. All my friends grandparents are shuffling off their mortal coil... I'm down to my last one and she just came back from the hospital with a pneumonia. I know how you feel about friends right now too.. I really need some as well. You should get on that plane with your mom she'll need you and we'll be here for you too. I'd better go now though. I was just on estrip check the time for my bus to work... (stupid snow... stupid car with no snow tires...). Come see your gram away, and your friends, no one deserves to go through that alone.
jenks - 03/10/08 06:44
Really sorry to hear about your Gram.
But the funeral's in buff? Don't you want to come? You could be with her, and your mom, and your friends here... I think (if Seinfeld wasn't lying) you can get cheap airfare for funerals...
ladycroft - 03/10/08 03:11
Sorry to hear it. I'm glad you got to spend time with her before she died. Let it out Lilho, crying is good for the soul. (((hug)))
paul - 03/10/08 01:00
no one else?

03/03/2008 21:45 #43545

i was thinking of quitting
Category: work
and i get into the hospital today, and my manager and the CEO pull me in to their office to have a talk. i'm thinking, "why are you bothering to ask me about my grandma, when you are about to fire me?"

well, i was wrong.


they pulled me in to tell me i am getting a $6 raise. hot damn, i love this place so much right now. not only do i love it, but i am now oicking up all of the hours i possibly can here! yippeee!

now, if i switch agencies with my other job and get a $4 raise, i'll be so money.


i am finally feeling like i am past that whole minimum wage thing, by a lot. and it feels good.


go me!
enknot - 03/10/08 09:56
w00t!
ladycroft - 03/05/08 02:20
Good for you!
mike - 03/04/08 17:49
congrats!
brit - 03/04/08 09:51
and shoes!
paul - 03/03/08 22:29
Congratulations! Now you can buy more clothes!

02/29/2008 15:42 #43509

i am in love
Category: arizona
nothing beats a sunny 85 degree day before march has even begun...



i think the sun is getting to me. maybe not though because i actually spend very little time in it, but a good amount outside, just in the shade.

i can't wait til my little lady wakes up and we can go have fun times outside!


mike - 03/01/08 10:49
i want warm weather!@!
flacidness - 02/29/08 22:05
Isn't warm wheater the best? it's been in the mid seventies here. Whose your little lady?