As many of you already know, Felly and I went to dance class again last night and we learned how to "knee rock". Basically this involves any move where you are on your knees. We had to step out with our left leg and pull the right knee down and slide it into place next to the left foot on the floor. It looks super difficult and indeed isn't that hard, but I managed to pull some muscle in my left thigh in the process. At least I look cool.


Moving on to my favorite subject...Feminism.

I just finished reading Profit and Pleasure by Rosemay Hennessy which is basically a book connecting the effects of late capitalism to the promotion of different sexual identities. She talks a lot about how lesbians and gay men are becoming "chic" and how this is allowed and even encouraged in late capitalism because it is a marketing niche that is profitable. Furthermore, because gender roles are becoming less segragated in the fact that women are working outside of the house much more lately, this creates an environment where gender and sexual deviance is permitted by what she calls the ruling bloc. Basically her argument is that we cannot dismiss capitalism in favor of culture because capitalism is equally if not more so involved in shaping and creating various idenitites, including sexual orientation, and that the new identity politics which are extremely prevelant in queer ciricles and academic theory often does just that. Fascinating.

I would also like to take a moment to talk about the noose that was found on an African American female professor's door at Columbia University on Tuesday. Of course they have the president or provost of Columbia talking, who is a white male, and then they had a white student talking and then later they had light skinned black woman student talking... I didn't watch CNN much that day, but that is what I saw. I couldn't help wondering where the black students where in all this. And I couldn't help wondering about allllllll the hate crimes that are committed against black people that go unreported. This happened at a high profile university to a distinguished professor. Not to say that it is any less offensive, but I can't help but wonder why we get to see hate crimes against educated, middle to upper class blacks when we certainly wouldn't hear about many other instances that certainly occur on a daily basis and are indeed perhaps much more violent than this one. It seems to me that by covering only high profile hate crimes against, for lack of a better word, "good" blacks, and not showing these other types of hate crimes, the media creates and perpetuates the invisibility of racially motivated hate crimes against "bad" blacks. Making sense? What systems are at work here? Who benefits and bares the burden of visibility and invisibility? Just a thought.....

I was up last night till something like 3:30am. Weird...I used to have insomnia pretty bad but that was because I could sleep all day and paid the price come night time, but this is no longer the case. Although I do sleep till 10:30/11 most days, it is not what it used to be. But either way, I was awake last night and funny enough, I got a text from my younger brother asking if I was awake. Like I said, most nights I would have been fasssst asleep but that time.

So my little brother who is not so little anymore, called me and we chatted about stuff. It was actually really nice, like he was calling for advice almost. Talking about his girlfriend that he is falling for and how her Dad might kill him. She is 16 and he is 19 so there could be some trouble. We talked about how weird it is that I am in Grad school and we even talking about taking a plan to Seattle next summer to visit my older brother.

He usually doesn't open up like this. He won't give very much as to his personal shit...but I felt honored that I was the one he talked to last night. And before he hung hung up he told me he loved me... first even!

Awwwww.

I am still in pain. I kinda feel like someone karate kicked my stomach, put me in handcuffs then made me squat for hours without letting me actually sit down. Awesome.

Sooooo, I really really really like Halloween and want desperatly to go to the Haunted Catacombs thingy
and I wanna know if anyone has been and if it is indeed worth the $20 bucks it costs to enter. Looks good on the internet :) I am assuming it is, but I always enjoy the comments of those who have gone before me.

Today is read read read, write paper, clean apt, hang out with my cats kinda day. I am so cool.

I am in pain. I mean, I knew I would be. I haven't done anything physically tiring to this extreme in a very long time. One thing that is interesting though...is this is not your typical hurt. I hurt in between my upper thights, in the muscles under my upper arms and in my arm pits and my neck muscles. I think this goes to show that this is indeed no ordinary workout.

I had a lot of fun dancing and playing with the big ball thingy. Not surprisingly, my body pretty much gave out on me after 10 or so reps of one excercise or another. I am in terrible shape and honestly, it is embarrasing. I may be thin but that don't mean shit. My body is mush and it's about time I do something about it.

I am looking forward to being able to dance for more than 5 minutes straight without needing to stop and breathe. I am looking forward to knowing that I can RUN if I need to. I am looking forward to being a little stronger than your typical girl. I am also looking forward to just having so some fun.

Today it will be interesting to find out if I can hold my arms up long enough to wash all the shampoo out of my hair.

There are 9 Estrippers on RIGHT now.

anyways...today is gross. I like waking up to sounds of rain pouring, but I don't like grey skys. Yesterday the moon was out at noon... very beautiful and incognito against the blue and white sky. There is nothing better than summer like days in October.

Do I have anything to say...?
Oh yes, lately I have been watching..dum dum dum, the news. And by the news I mean CNN. I have been noticing this sick tendancy for them to talk about the same shit over and over and over again. And ok, I understand the need to "follow up" on cases. There is always more to be said, but I question who/what decides what these major cases will be.
Although I do like CNN's "Keeping Them Honest" thing...I heard that an "illegal alien" spent years saving money washing dishes and then went to the airport with his savings and it was SEIZED by the gov't. Gross. Are you kidding? And they of course tried to call all these people to get answers as to why and nada, zilch, zero.
And Dr. Sanjay Gupta (sp?) did this great story about food and actually talked about how it affects African Americans and poor people greater than it does white middle class folks...

I should be reading.