what is the deal with women saying they are going to hang out, make plans to do something, or say they want space or whatever, AND NEVER GETTING BACK TO YOU OR IN TOUCH WITH YOU TO AT LEAST LET YOU KNOW WHATS GOING ON? i mean, wouldnt it be considerate to just drop a line and be forward and say-
"hey, i don't feel like hanging out"
-or-
"hey, im not going to be able to make it"
-or-
"hey, this just isn't going to work"
and here the typical stereotype is that men never show enough concern for plans/emotions/commitment.
i swear to god, as far as romance and gender roles are concerned, more and more im beginning to believe the proverbial tables have been turned.
on another note, i have met somone... and she is gorgeous. but, for some reason, i cannot get the last one out of my head(heart?). i don't know what to do, because she could be soo much better for me, but im just not feeling as into her as the other (previous) one. i seem to have little in common with her comparitivley to the last girl, who was by all means, save reciprocation, my dreammate.
its been more than three weeks. when somone asks for space, generally they don't mean 4+ weeks. she still hasn't deleted me from her myspace profile, but has ignored the few attempts i made to reach her to at least get some form of closure.
i don't want to hurt this new one, but i don't want this previous mess to tangle me up, either. i want to be able to move on and try somethin with somone, and why not with her (new girl)? she is gorgeous, and i mean that, but she dosent interest me as much (or quickly?) as the other. maybe its just because we didn't fuck within the first 4 hours of meeting each other like i did with the last one. i feel like my heart is constantly being put through a rock tumbler.
maybe if im lucky it will come out all smooth, polished, and pretty. hopefully somone might be able to ignore the fact that despite its brilliant veneer it has gone cold and hard...
Vycious's Journal
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07/05/2007 00:18 #39918
what the hell is wrong with women?Category: castration
06/27/2007 20:26 #39832
moving...Category: help!
im moving on friday, around 1pm. im going to need a few extra pairs of hands, just to expedite the proceedure as i am only being given 2 days off to do this. im not asking for anyone to move heavy items, i will take care of those with my roomie, but it would save a lot of time if someone could help with the boxes/bags of clothing. i know i hardly know any of you, but the majority of my friends are unable to help and i don't want my old man having to move me as he is getting too old.
expenses are rough right now, but im willing to see what i can throw together for alcohol depending on your preferences. maybe even dinner when its all said and done.
anyone up for a moving party?
expenses are rough right now, but im willing to see what i can throw together for alcohol depending on your preferences. maybe even dinner when its all said and done.
anyone up for a moving party?
tinypliny - 06/28/07 18:09
If I am done with my morning appoinment (10PM) tomorrow, I can help with the move. I don't have a car, but I can carry stuff if its not very heavy. I experienced the pain of moving last week and today, and I think all moving souls definitely deserve a helping pair of hands, no matter how tiny. :)
If I am done with my morning appoinment (10PM) tomorrow, I can help with the move. I don't have a car, but I can carry stuff if its not very heavy. I experienced the pain of moving last week and today, and I think all moving souls definitely deserve a helping pair of hands, no matter how tiny. :)
hodown - 06/28/07 09:10
I would totally help if I wasn't 400 miles away. I know how hard it is to find people to help you move.
I would totally help if I wasn't 400 miles away. I know how hard it is to find people to help you move.
06/24/2007 16:32 #39794
okay, okay...Category: apologies
perhaps i was a bit cynical. well, okay.... i was. its not a very long story. simply put, the first woman i have had an attraction to in the past 6 years decided to just snub me over a feigned insult when i asked her if i was just a hookup after a bit of sex, cancelled dates, and shifty behaviours. i don't often get all soft on the pretty ones, but she had much more than that going on. so here i am, like, 3 weeks later, and still no word from her after she needed "space". nobody likes being played, you know? i suppose at this point im just sad for her and her inability to deal emotionally or maturely like an adult.
to boot, i work with a bunch of evil, catty women. in fact, almost every person i work with is female, and i really don't get too many positive impressions from them about the entire feminine gender- as they are all uncareing, vougue reading, view watching, husband-hunting, pieces of mass-media trash. what has happened to women in the past 6 years? it seems to me like they have all changed, become careless and caustic, with no regard for anything other than instant pleasure and gratification. to be honest, women are reminding me more and more of the typical MALE stereotype, and men- the other way around. i don't watch television or read any media, so what the hell is going on in america?! i don't understand women like i used to... and i didn't really get them to begin with. i really am beginning to feel like mass media has changed the demands of the gender roles in the past few years.
all that said, im going to apologize to the individual ladies who may not represent these "qualities" and in a twofold manuver, ask for you to stand up and take a shot at proving me wrong. godz know i need some positive impressions, right now. being a curmudgeon will not ever help me meet that special "somone".
oh yeah, and im a pacifist. i could never resort to physical violence, let alone murder. lets just say my words can kill and leave it at that.
to boot, i work with a bunch of evil, catty women. in fact, almost every person i work with is female, and i really don't get too many positive impressions from them about the entire feminine gender- as they are all uncareing, vougue reading, view watching, husband-hunting, pieces of mass-media trash. what has happened to women in the past 6 years? it seems to me like they have all changed, become careless and caustic, with no regard for anything other than instant pleasure and gratification. to be honest, women are reminding me more and more of the typical MALE stereotype, and men- the other way around. i don't watch television or read any media, so what the hell is going on in america?! i don't understand women like i used to... and i didn't really get them to begin with. i really am beginning to feel like mass media has changed the demands of the gender roles in the past few years.
all that said, im going to apologize to the individual ladies who may not represent these "qualities" and in a twofold manuver, ask for you to stand up and take a shot at proving me wrong. godz know i need some positive impressions, right now. being a curmudgeon will not ever help me meet that special "somone".
oh yeah, and im a pacifist. i could never resort to physical violence, let alone murder. lets just say my words can kill and leave it at that.
metalpeter - 06/25/07 17:41
So If I'm reading this right you hooked up with the girl/lady and wanted more then that but she only wanted the hookup? Maybe that is all she wanted. Or maybe what you two did wasn't what she was into maybe it wasn't good for her. That doesn't mean you waren't good it just wasn't what she wanted. If you dated before hooking up then something weird is going on, like maybe she wanted something casual and you wanted something more serious. But if you hooked up the first time you both met then the chance of a second date often is very low and she may have assumed that is all you wanted also. I will admit that telling the good ones from the Naughty ones is tough, but just remember how you define that is just what you want from your perspective. All women arn't evil even though it seems that way sometimes. On a side note a read an article somewhere where a women believes FWB is bad for women. Basicly the writer said that women are Only having sex and not getting any of the benifits they would from a "real" relationship. She had some good points not that I agree with them all. But women hooking up with guys and Having FWB's and the entire group date thing has changed the dating and sex world. I will admit that deep down there are things I hate about women but I try not to hold them against all women.
So If I'm reading this right you hooked up with the girl/lady and wanted more then that but she only wanted the hookup? Maybe that is all she wanted. Or maybe what you two did wasn't what she was into maybe it wasn't good for her. That doesn't mean you waren't good it just wasn't what she wanted. If you dated before hooking up then something weird is going on, like maybe she wanted something casual and you wanted something more serious. But if you hooked up the first time you both met then the chance of a second date often is very low and she may have assumed that is all you wanted also. I will admit that telling the good ones from the Naughty ones is tough, but just remember how you define that is just what you want from your perspective. All women arn't evil even though it seems that way sometimes. On a side note a read an article somewhere where a women believes FWB is bad for women. Basicly the writer said that women are Only having sex and not getting any of the benifits they would from a "real" relationship. She had some good points not that I agree with them all. But women hooking up with guys and Having FWB's and the entire group date thing has changed the dating and sex world. I will admit that deep down there are things I hate about women but I try not to hold them against all women.
vycious - 06/24/07 23:24
my sentiments, exactly. but its so hard to tell the good ones from the naughty ones. :P
my sentiments, exactly. but its so hard to tell the good ones from the naughty ones. :P
kookcity2000 - 06/24/07 22:14
The best estimates of world population clock in at about 6.6 billion people. And we can guess that there are on the order of 3.3 billion womenz up in here.
But most of them are old or young or dying or broken by life so we can narrow that down a little.
Lets just look at the Buffalo, NY metro area.
Thats roughly 150,000 women. And we apply certain criteria to account for grandmothers, nuns, girl scouts, ladies in comas and iron lungs, etc and there should be at least 5000 women to pick from.
What was the sample size for your findings? Hopefully at least 1%. That would be 50 women.
This population is highly variable and difficult to observe with any objectivity.
Perhaps you should increase your sample size and JUST DATE ANOTHER GIRL.
The best estimates of world population clock in at about 6.6 billion people. And we can guess that there are on the order of 3.3 billion womenz up in here.
But most of them are old or young or dying or broken by life so we can narrow that down a little.
Lets just look at the Buffalo, NY metro area.
Thats roughly 150,000 women. And we apply certain criteria to account for grandmothers, nuns, girl scouts, ladies in comas and iron lungs, etc and there should be at least 5000 women to pick from.
What was the sample size for your findings? Hopefully at least 1%. That would be 50 women.
This population is highly variable and difficult to observe with any objectivity.
Perhaps you should increase your sample size and JUST DATE ANOTHER GIRL.
brit - 06/24/07 17:47
you are extrapolating from one woman and applying that to the entirety of womanhood then saying there may be exceptions; rather than actually seeing women as individuals which is what you are purporting to do.....'special' ladies don't like that. And, even in the most histrionic of moments, words cannot actually kill.
you are extrapolating from one woman and applying that to the entirety of womanhood then saying there may be exceptions; rather than actually seeing women as individuals which is what you are purporting to do.....'special' ladies don't like that. And, even in the most histrionic of moments, words cannot actually kill.
jenks - 06/24/07 17:07
"decided to just snub me over a feigned insult when i asked her if i was just a hookup after a bit of sex, cancelled dates, and shifty behaviours....so here i am, like, 3 weeks later, and still no word from her after she needed "space". nobody likes being played, you know? i suppose at this point im just sad for her and her inability to deal emotionally or maturely like an adult."
Wow. That's just about my situation exactly. maybe we should get to two of them together to break each other's hearts.
"decided to just snub me over a feigned insult when i asked her if i was just a hookup after a bit of sex, cancelled dates, and shifty behaviours....so here i am, like, 3 weeks later, and still no word from her after she needed "space". nobody likes being played, you know? i suppose at this point im just sad for her and her inability to deal emotionally or maturely like an adult."
Wow. That's just about my situation exactly. maybe we should get to two of them together to break each other's hearts.
06/22/2007 22:39 #39776
doom....and heartbreak.
im also moving in a week.
that is all.
im also moving in a week.
that is all.
06/23/2007 03:04 #39778
for the ladies...Category: castration
i have got a major hate-on, right now. it will be a long time before i can feel even comfortable to hang out with females. they simply cannot be trusted worth shit, and are incapable of being forthcoming or upfront. its funny how i have allways been told the males of the species mature slower, and have never seen anything to prove it through my personal experiences. maybe its just because im not like most men.
i would like to think that women are all individuals, but im beginning to see base character traits among all of them, and it seriously disgusts me. petty, greedy, shallow, calloused, and unflinchingly manipulative- i see it every day in just about any way a woman regards a man. we are cattle to them, worker drones. all of us are replaceable by somone thinner, more attractive, more wealthy, popular, or just plain more anything. i simpley cannot trust the bond of a woman, anymore. genetics simply place their concerns with security over that of either emotion or social regard.
im sorry, im sure you are all great on an individual basis, but as a whole, you are deceitful, hurtful, plotting creatures whos only concern is hooking up with somone you can show off to the rest of your catty, fucked up little population of breeders.
maybe ill just get lucky and it will only be the women in buffalo.
hell, who am i kidding.
feel free to send me hate comments to perpetuate my new paradigm.
i would like to think that women are all individuals, but im beginning to see base character traits among all of them, and it seriously disgusts me. petty, greedy, shallow, calloused, and unflinchingly manipulative- i see it every day in just about any way a woman regards a man. we are cattle to them, worker drones. all of us are replaceable by somone thinner, more attractive, more wealthy, popular, or just plain more anything. i simpley cannot trust the bond of a woman, anymore. genetics simply place their concerns with security over that of either emotion or social regard.
im sorry, im sure you are all great on an individual basis, but as a whole, you are deceitful, hurtful, plotting creatures whos only concern is hooking up with somone you can show off to the rest of your catty, fucked up little population of breeders.
maybe ill just get lucky and it will only be the women in buffalo.
hell, who am i kidding.
feel free to send me hate comments to perpetuate my new paradigm.
pyrcedgrrl - 06/29/07 01:04
"I'm sorry, im sure you are all great on an individual basis, but as a whole, you are deceitful, hurtful, plotting creatures whos only concern is hooking up with somone you can show off to the rest of your catty, fucked up little population of breeders."
How can we "all be great" if "as a whole" we are all these terrible things? That statement makes absolutely no sense.
Perhaps you should take a look at the caliber of women you are dealing with.
Just as some men are lying, cheating, deceitful, soul sucking assholes (I should know, I was married to one), you are bound to find some bad apples on the female side out there.
Sorry that you've had some bad luck, but basing your opinion of all women on a clique of twats that you work with is ridiculous.
"I'm sorry, im sure you are all great on an individual basis, but as a whole, you are deceitful, hurtful, plotting creatures whos only concern is hooking up with somone you can show off to the rest of your catty, fucked up little population of breeders."
How can we "all be great" if "as a whole" we are all these terrible things? That statement makes absolutely no sense.
Perhaps you should take a look at the caliber of women you are dealing with.
Just as some men are lying, cheating, deceitful, soul sucking assholes (I should know, I was married to one), you are bound to find some bad apples on the female side out there.
Sorry that you've had some bad luck, but basing your opinion of all women on a clique of twats that you work with is ridiculous.
brit - 06/24/07 14:42
wow, this is the kind of stuff they put in the papers after someone shoots up the town. Good luck with the trial.......
wow, this is the kind of stuff they put in the papers after someone shoots up the town. Good luck with the trial.......
lilho - 06/24/07 14:06
we all get our feeling hurt, and hurt other's feelings. it happens to everyone, heartbreak is just a part of life. chin up!
really, i've had my feeling hurt so many times by guys, but i still have hope! also, i've hurt guys feeling as well. neither is good... but we wait and hope that there is one out there who this wont happen with. until then, just enjoy the company of friends!!!
we all get our feeling hurt, and hurt other's feelings. it happens to everyone, heartbreak is just a part of life. chin up!
really, i've had my feeling hurt so many times by guys, but i still have hope! also, i've hurt guys feeling as well. neither is good... but we wait and hope that there is one out there who this wont happen with. until then, just enjoy the company of friends!!!
theecarey - 06/23/07 17:09
got some woman haters on the site, eh?
I'd say the same if it were a female disregarding the whole male population, but hey thats just me.
So, no hate comments- just sad that you have been hurt over and over again. And sad for any female that may sincerely like to get to know and care for you.
or would that be an oxymoron?
got some woman haters on the site, eh?
I'd say the same if it were a female disregarding the whole male population, but hey thats just me.
So, no hate comments- just sad that you have been hurt over and over again. And sad for any female that may sincerely like to get to know and care for you.
or would that be an oxymoron?
vincent - 06/23/07 17:07
I think in this area the trend of women is not towards "wealthier" but more in the "bad-ass." I just look at a good amount of local women supporting dudes. There is nothing like looking at some dude riding shotgun and taking the car after dropping off his girlfriend at the 2nd or 3rd job she's working to support him; While he just takes off to do whatever with his boys.
I think in this area the trend of women is not towards "wealthier" but more in the "bad-ass." I just look at a good amount of local women supporting dudes. There is nothing like looking at some dude riding shotgun and taking the car after dropping off his girlfriend at the 2nd or 3rd job she's working to support him; While he just takes off to do whatever with his boys.
vincent - 06/23/07 14:00
I work with a big majority of women and all I can say is most of your points are spot on. The one that stands out to me is the manipulative trait :-/
As Henery Rollins once said: "All women are EVIL, but all men are MORONS!"
I work with a big majority of women and all I can say is most of your points are spot on. The one that stands out to me is the manipulative trait :-/
As Henery Rollins once said: "All women are EVIL, but all men are MORONS!"
joshua - 06/23/07 13:26
Ha! Indeed it is good that you aren't a lesbian. I have no idea how gay couples cope with break ups or bad luck with some lovin' so I can't speak to that.
Don't sweat offending people over this Vycious. We dealt with half a year of irrational man hating on a fairly consistent basis so if they can't take it and get stereotyped and generalized over then they can go ahead and STFU about dishing it out. That being said your burn was very high quality.
The bottom line is that no sex is perfect and when people get burned or otherwise don't get their way all hell breaks loose. Whatever the issue is I hope that you work it out.
Ha! Indeed it is good that you aren't a lesbian. I have no idea how gay couples cope with break ups or bad luck with some lovin' so I can't speak to that.
Don't sweat offending people over this Vycious. We dealt with half a year of irrational man hating on a fairly consistent basis so if they can't take it and get stereotyped and generalized over then they can go ahead and STFU about dishing it out. That being said your burn was very high quality.
The bottom line is that no sex is perfect and when people get burned or otherwise don't get their way all hell breaks loose. Whatever the issue is I hope that you work it out.
fellyconnelly - 06/23/07 11:49
good thing you aren't a lesbian, huh?
good thing you aren't a lesbian, huh?
knife - 06/23/07 10:21
right on brother!
right on brother!
leetee - 06/23/07 09:55
i can only speak for myself in that i don't want to send hate comments to you. Can't say what the other chicks around here might want, though...
What i want to say more than anything is that i am sorry you were hurt and are hurting. I don't know you very well, but you seem like a good egg to me. Certainly not someone who deserves to be left crushed and bleeding...
Like you, i think that women can be petty, greedy and shallow. Particularly when it comes to romantic relationships. Friendships, well, the manipulation is just different. Not better, not worse, just different.
Not that i am an expert, but i see a lot of women saying they wouldn't have to be manipulative and greedy if men didn't cheat and deceive. Having been cheated and deceived, the behaviour reflects that all men must be the same.
i can only speak for myself in that i don't want to send hate comments to you. Can't say what the other chicks around here might want, though...
What i want to say more than anything is that i am sorry you were hurt and are hurting. I don't know you very well, but you seem like a good egg to me. Certainly not someone who deserves to be left crushed and bleeding...
Like you, i think that women can be petty, greedy and shallow. Particularly when it comes to romantic relationships. Friendships, well, the manipulation is just different. Not better, not worse, just different.
Not that i am an expert, but i see a lot of women saying they wouldn't have to be manipulative and greedy if men didn't cheat and deceive. Having been cheated and deceived, the behaviour reflects that all men must be the same.
Since Peter mentioned Sex and the City, I will chime in with my absolute favorite episode that I happened to watch the other night.
"She's just not that into you."
What you said in your post is ABSOLUTELY right...no one needs 4+ weeks of "space"...especially if they are interested.
Cut your losses, chalk it up to an extended one night stand and don't bring that baggage into a new relationship with you.
Take care.
Ok I admit I am no Sarah Jessica Parkers character on sex in the city. But You just said that the first girl you fucked with in 4 hours of knowing her, that is a huge factor. It sounds to me like you where her piece of meat. What happened after that first time I don't know how much more you two hung out. But it could have basicly turned into a booty call. The other factor is the term "hang out" it is very casual almost as much as when you write a note or letter and say see ya around. Often I think what it really means is if I have time and nothing else better going on maybe I'll think about calling you and then maybe I will. I say forget about the previous girl. If she calls great and if not, not. It is possible that the reason you aren't as much into this new girl is that you have some emotional connection to the previous one. You sound like you are still into the new goregous chick but just not as much. See what happens and maybe you will get into her more.
1: there's more to life than gorgeous, and if you're not into her, move on
and 2: I'm with you- I would MUCH rather have a guy just be upfront and TELL ME "hey you're cool but I don't think it'll work out", or hell, just say 'you're fucking crazy and I can't deal' than just play the ''i'll call you' and then not call' game. I think people think it's "nicer" to "spare your feelings", but I personally hate it. But I know some people prefer it, so, who knows.
good luck.
it's a minefield out there.
Vycious,
It is a human trait (not just female) to be a weasel, an unaccountable jerk when it comes to these situations. People don't like to have to answer for why they're ignoring you. They just are ignoring you, because they're great, and you're shit, so fuck you. It's a lot easier to just walk away, or lie to you (I want space? Please bitch, please) instead of being a grownup and doing the right thing. Everyone at some point is guilty of this.
As frustrating as it is, you should just understand and accept this fact. When a girl says she wants space, and it's been 4 weeks, and she's ignoring you, what she's really saying is you're out, permanently, and some other dude probably is in. Stings, don't it? I've been there, brother. That's life, so drink it up and like it, man. It's not the worst thing in the world, and the sky is not falling. Being able to accept things like this means never having to feel shitty over some chick who isn't talking to you anymore. It's grrreeeaaat!
And - think about how fair it is to date someone when your mind is elsewhere. It's one of those things that people do. I'm not judging you for it. Have fun, have some good times, all that stuff, but if it starts to get somewhat heavy then you'll know where you're at.
you are too emotional for a man!