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James's Journal

james
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04/02/2007 16:56 #38720

The Dumbest Animals you can't Kill
I hate spring,

In a town that spends 4-5 months clasped in the icey womb of winter that is blasphemy. Even now mobs with torches and pitch forks are gathering out my window. Ready to storm my citadel of nay-saying-springhood.

It wasn't always that way. Spring would mean all the obvious things that we enjoy spring for. Namely warmth and sun: two precious commodities you would sell your mother's eyes for in January. Things changed though when I got a dog. Spring now means two very different things: Stupid bunnies and stupid squirrel

You see, in Winter's death throws these cute little mammals get their freak on and pop out little bunnies and squirrels for the world to consume. The smart ones live. The dumb ones though must die. They must all die.

When I am walking my dog he will spot a bunny a block away and begin pulling, choking himself on his leash yet propelled by the force of his lust for bunny meat; which, by the way, he has never tasted. When the momment comes when the bunny or squirrel will realize the dog is onto him he will hop three feet away and stop, look behind him, and stay.

The dog is pulling like a tractor but is not moving any closer. So the squirrel or bunny things "he isn't getting any nearer, he must not see me" and remain.

The great tragedy of all this is no dog gets to these animals. Their stupidity is allowed to go on and mix with the gene pool. Ensuring countless future generations of animals I would rather not be.

Our only hope is they forage in traffic.
leetee - 04/03/07 00:08
i find it very amusing to see my parent's dog, a cockapoo, running, unleashed, towards a squirrel... if he is ever fast enough to catch the rodent, it might beat the crap out of him.

03/29/2007 14:16 #38680

Flickr has been infiltraited by Commies
Flickr, oh Flickr!

She was the first web 2.0 community driven content site I really got involved when, and she stole my heart. I started off in the local Buffalo group started by the enigmatic (e:Jim). It still is a fun group with really good people in it. And then the Reds came for me!

I have always had an academic interest in Russia. I am have always had a personal interest in Soviet aesthetics. It isn't the oddest of hobbies, but it isn't exactly a national past time either. But let me tell you how funly awesome these groups are:

Soviet States
is all about former Soviet nations, and the ruins of the former soviet regimes. If you love the color grey, you will weep tears of joy!

Political Art - Socialist Realism Did you know that in real life Joseph Stalin was a bald dwarf? It is true, but through this school of realism the warts and all style of realism looks more like idealism. Check out the statures of Soviet's nobly sacrificing material gain for the betterment of the people. It makes you weep artificial tears.

My Happy Soviet Childhood has scores of soviet kids smiling. Hey comrade Billy, if you act as an informant on the states case against your father's patriotism we will send you to summer camp. Oh Boy!

my favorite

The Red Menace Sure, it doesn't have Soviet stuff, but crazy American propaganda dealing with Soviet Stuff. It is the sort of thing that makes you wonder how many different ways can Lenin be depicted as an octopus mangling the globe.

But why love them so much? Because I can waste at least an hour while at work looking at these oddities.

enjoy kids

03/26/2007 00:02 #38620

WTF?
Seriously, WTF?


Our soon to be old apartment is right on Delaware near Children's Hospital. Ambulance, fire trucks, and popo have been driving up and down, sirens blaring, all day. Has some large building caught fire? Has Zombie McKinley been shot by yet another anarchist?

I do a google news search and all I get is some ex-Bills couch complaining about Buffalo's "lack of women and preponderance of Applebee's like restaurants" which would be the case if you were a closeted homosexual living in Orchard Park.

Has anyone seen an ambassador stabbed? Has Kuni's been serving human all along? I need to know! I need to know!
joshua - 03/26/07 11:53
Willis has other things to worry about besides not being able to go to an exclusive, VIP only club, or women. After all, he has three illegitimate children to pay for right now... why he is so eager to trump Eric Moulds I have no idea.
james - 03/26/07 08:12
Jenks - It is Cider House Rules all over again!

Zobar - Don't think I haven't. Every Thursday night at Dun Tire Park you can bet on your favorite zombie. Will it be Zombie McKinley? Or Zombie Rick James? At the mayor's door I have letters and petitions just rotting with titles like "Resurrect Buffalo Tourism" or "Tomorrow's Epidemic: The Day After Tomorrow's Sports Craze" jerk wont return my calls either.
zobar - 03/26/07 07:53
I think you need to pitch Zombie McKinley to the Convention & Visitors Bureau as a mascot for a new tourism campaign.

- Z
jenks - 03/26/07 06:41
That happened once when I was there last year, and it ended up being a scandalous but not-so-exciting case of doctor-OD'ing-on-anesthetics. But yeah, you would have thought the president had died by the number of cops running around the place. And the weirder thing is- the only reason I know it happened is b/c I was there. It was VERY hush-hush.

03/22/2007 13:12 #38557

NPR is a headache
Kids,

I was excited about the John Edwards press conference today. Not looking forward to him dropping out, but excited to hear what had to be said and neurotically move on with this fantasy football game of primaries. When I heard about it, I had a date. Noon. Don't be late.

So here I am at work. Ten minutes prior I turn on the NPR webcast. They had live coverage of it. Someone there in the room looking at an empty podium.

So, just as things are about to start they cut to a very important announcement. Yes, it is that time for their quarterly beg-a-thon.

I love NPR because they have up to the minute coverage of breaking news.

They have coverage of what you think is important.

If you got this news elsewhere you would have to wait until tomorrow for the newspaper.

This is what they told me. Convincing me that my dollars are important to ensure that I don't miss anything. All the while missing the only news item I cared about that day.

This is irony. Slaves groveling at your feet and licking your boot is great, accept when you are trying to walk somewhere. And you, NPR, are in my way.



The good news is the UN secretary general was having a news conference in Iraq when it was hit by a mortar. No one is hurt, but the building shook and it is on tape. How awesome is that?
chico - 03/22/07 17:07
What was especially amusing about the live video of the UN Secretary-General at the Iraqi Prime Minister's office in the "Green Zone" in Baghdad was the difference in reaction between the two men. Ban Ki-moon freaked and ducked behind the podium for a second, then looked around somewhat frantically in obvious fear. Nuri al-Maliki, the Iraqi PM, didn't even react at all to the blast, which reportedly shook the whole building. He looked cool, calm, collected. Which means either his office is rocked by nearby blasts all the time (likely) or he knew it was coming (conspiracy theory!). Anyway, it is kind of an interesting video. It's on BBC World News: :::link:::
joshua - 03/22/07 16:33
I hate Nina Totenberg, but I actually like Ira Glass... I listen to his show via podcast, although sometimes his topics make it plainly obvious that there are only so many ways to make ordinary life interesting.
james - 03/22/07 15:21
Eh,

I don't care all that much about Edwards. I think having him in the primary though is good at this point but I wouldn't loose sleep over his leaving. But knowing that I could be knowing what is going on but not knowing it because some schmuck is telling me how great it is to know what is going on and that I know I need to donate money to continue to know what I know.... well... it makes me want to oil wrestle Nina Totenburg and Ira Glass.

The begging, while obnoxious and obligatory, is fine every now and again. But god damn it they could have waited ten more minutes. NPR, like John Wdwards, is "slanted and negligable". Agreed.
joshua - 03/22/07 14:55
Every quarter they go on a begfest - while its somewhat necessary its still tacky.

Otherwise, the content on NPR is obliquely slanted and negligable. If you want a summary of John Edwards' current schtick, picture an apology for voting for the war, demands for curbing the usage of things that create greenhouse gases (unless you are him and "The Goracle") and a continuation of his previous "Two Americas" class envy manifesto rolled up into a beautiful chestnut brown quaffed, honey-dipped southern accent having, trial lawyer smiling package.

P.S. I'd like to marry his daughter.

03/17/2007 13:40 #38498

The swingin' new pad
Awesome,

It pays to know people who know other people. It makes up for what ever social deficiency one might have. One, in this case, refers to me, who has the social grace of an elephant on roller skates doing blow off a gazelle's ass. It is all a metaphor that works astonishingly well. Go on, be astonished.

But we found a new place to live. We will be on Ashland between Bird and Potomac. Our landlords are super awesome. They called us to ask if we wanted new carpet or new windows. Crazy madmen, being so nice.

The nice thing about renting from humans and not some faceless slumlord company is that are reasonable people. For the same rent we are moving from a 1 bedroom to a 3 bedroom with parking and a yard. A yard for the Ben! He will also have puppy friends to play with. Super +1 happy! So life has returned to goodness and honey.


Thanks to MPT for the kick ass party last night. I will do my best to not be jealous of your dream house. A home who's splendors rival all others.

happy hangover everyone.

-James

paul - 03/22/07 22:09
What exactly is a clam couple?
james - 03/18/07 01:08
enknot: We will be signing the lease wednesday, so... I do hope your place works out and you find tenets who both have a puppy and do not suck.

Tiburon: my landlord to be does not have other properties. But my current place does. They will charge you way too much for way too little. So no help there. Buffalo Management group has several places for people with small dogs though.

Jenks: howdy neighbor.
enknot - 03/17/07 17:10
I'm looking for a nice building to buy that's a split which I'll be renting and I loove puppies. If we're both lucky maybe I'll be settled in and will need a nice clam couple with dowg by the time you get here

: )
tiburon1724 - 03/17/07 16:10
Exactly the problem I'm facing now! No one in Buffalo wants dogs in their buildings! :( Does your landlord own any other properties?
jenks - 03/17/07 15:53
that's my neck of the woods... I'm claremont between bird and forest.