today we will discuss the history of chivalry and its affects on the precepts of modern romantic love.

first, i will respond to the precursory messages left to my announcement post of this series:

enknot: i only date women i am attracted to. the difference is, i do not place such a high value on things such as appearances. there are many other ways than looks to lure a lover.
i find i have many reasons to smile. it can be hard counting my blessings when i have so many. however, all people have an inclination to forget said blessings under times of duress (such as uber-fake-holidays geared at trimming change from the coin purses of those in the throes of ideals for which there are few concrete definitions). i will never champion valentines day.

museumchick: the details are still being worked out for the actual celebrations for anti-v.day. but im open to suggestions.

joshua: you are correct in your observation of those w/o relationships being considered second class citizens. on average, the married man/woman makes more annually than their unmarried counterpart. (strange when you think about the combined incomes and the tax breaks that follow marriage, no?) it has become my observation that an easy way to succeed is to simply have a healthy relationship and broadcast it with your employer.
as for ignoring it, its easy to ignore a holiday that does not pertain to you, but this one is specific in leaving a nice percentage of the population in the cold. everyone wants to feel loved.
as for doggish lovers, everyone falters a little bit, every now and then. we don't need a holiday to remind us of those we hold dear and to validate our/their feelings. such loves should make every day a holiday. i feel valentines day cheapens actual romantic love.
as for rambo 2, good suggestion. i may put it on the list. as of now, im considering eternal sunshine of the spotless mind and the anthony hopkins titus remake.

i will add on a personal side note that even though i hate vday, i am not anti-romance. in fact, i believe that very day to be the quintessential anti-romance vehicle, placing material possession above feeling and passion. (one would need to possess a valentine of some sort to celebrate it, no? the very concept of such a thing belies, even before the purchase of any 'romantic' goods, the true nature of romantic love, which i will expand upon in the following two weeks.)

but for todays lecture-

The History of Chivalry and Courtly Love



The Troubadours
Courtly or chivalric love was known in france as fin amour or 'fine love'. Some of the first recorded signs of this were displayed or originated with the (so-called) troubadours of the mid to late eleventh century. Promoting it, they referred to is as Gai Saber (the happy wisdom/gay science, literal translation). Mostly in challenge to Christian ideals of love, marriage, manhood, virtue and femininity; some forget its pagan roots and direct opposition to europe, politically.
Sad but true, the beginning concepts of romantic love were sponsored and endorsed by nobles and politicians during the rise of the catholic church to gain support of those alienated by its doctrines. Nobles such as Eleanor of Aquitaine and Marie de Champagne made sure that this vehicle of chivalric love spread their influence into england and as far as germany.
Two centuries later, this campaign had become somewhat embraced and institutionalized throughout the political courts of europe. Chivalry had become the basis of what most believed to be a glamorous and extravagant lifestyle.

So what is it?!?

l'amour courtois- an extravagantly artificial and stylized relationship. a forbidden affair, characterized by five primary factors:
1. aristocracy. hello, courtly love, people. courtly.
2. ritualistic. gifts and tokens validated said affairs. suitors were expected to woo according to elaborate conventions, with only the slightest response needed from the perused, a 'mere shadow of affection'. the perused become the exalted domina- commanding 'mistress' of the courtship. the suitor her servus, or servant.
3. SECRECY. apparently, something hallmark forgot to mention. original chivalric and courtly love was based upon secrecy. the very foundation of each affair involved the exclusion of the outside world, between the two (aside from confidantes or go-betweens) to epitomize and accentuate ones devotion for the other, creating a backdrop to their lives and giving them each something sacred to share.
4. adulterous. fin amour (almost by definition), was extramarital. one of its conventions was that of an escape from the married lives of the nobility, which was almost based on unions formed for political or economic means. these troubadours looked down upon these conventions, viewing them as glorified religious swindles. in fact, marriage was looked down upon, in general. the end result was 'their own exalted ideal of a disciplined and decorous carnal relationship whose ultimate objective was not crude physical satisfaction, but a sublime and sensual intimacy.'
5. literary. Romance itself was named from an old French poem (romanz) about chivalric heroes. the concepts of chivalric love were (obviously, since there was no internet or wikipedia) carried from court to court, read by the aristocrats, and spread throughout the literary community, which was primarily noble.


alright. thats it. i can't do any more of this tonight. what have we learned today? romantic love is a by-product of political maneuvering? maybe. has the concepts of courtly love been perverted and twisted since their conception? most certainly.



song for the day:
im sorry i love you, by the magnetic fields.
A single rose in your garden dwells
Like any rose it's not itself
It is my love in your garden grows
but let's pretend it's just a rose
Well I'm sorry that I love you
It's a phase that I'm going through
There is nothing that I can do
and I'm sorry that I love you
Do not listen to my song
Don't remember it, don't sing along
Let's pretned it's a work of art
Let's pretend it's not my heart...
The rose will fade when summer's gone
The song will fade and I'll be gone
because my heart is dying too
and it's all the same to you

so, i ordered my camera last friday. most of you by now are sick of hearing about it- but im stoked.
so i figured since the site said it was in stock, and that it generally takes 2 days to process an order, and that i have chosen 7-9 shipping days, i would have it early next week.
nope. not in stock. backordered. not being recieved there until tuesday. which means i will not recieve it till next friday, if im lucky. pissy-pissy-angry-doo-doo-pants. grr.

im sure most of you have seen this. but its one of my internet favs.

if you know me, you would know of my disdain for the hallmark holiday referred to as valentines day. only in this day and age can we have a holiday meant to bring people together making them feel more isolated and alone.

i for one, will not stand for it. so i bring to you, my avid fellow valentines-haters, two weeks of anti-valentines celebrations (a division of Vycious Entertainment, TM).

starting tomorrow i will begin posting, daily, of my hatred and frustration regarding this most false of holidays. each day will have a new song with posted lyrics and info for your enjoyment, thoughts and impressions on the concepts of romance and romantic love (with the cheapening of such by said commercial day), and maybe a little history lesson or two.

the end of this celebratory will involve movies (anti-schmaltzy-romance) and chocolate sundae overdoses for my fellow anti-v supporters and i, either at my place or some as of yet undisclosed, larger, location.

i look forward to enabling your vents and aiding your days through this most troubling time...

... all hail Discordia!

i never overdraft. my diagnosis of ocd makes sure that i never allow myself such things. somehow, in the past two weeks, i have been charged three overdraft fees for items posted up to a week and a half late on my account. this is what i get for bad bookkeeping.

so im out about ninety dollars from my paycheck from last week, taking away about 1/7th of it. good times. this means i must budget frugally, as if i had received no double promotion about two pay periods ago. the last pay period being christmas. (now that i think of it, this period of the year seems to be the only time i have ever received these types of snafus with post-payment-overdraft-charges. i blame christians and christmas.) when does vycious get to enjoy his new salary? the answer is: not the first month of the year, for sure. thankfully i have (or will have) all the toys i could possibly want at the moment, but its so easy to wonder what i could have done with the ninety dollars it took to learn that my bank is a bunch of soulless-bean-counters and button-pushers. maybe i have gotten in the habit of using the ole debit card a tad much. maybe this means i should learn the value of cash again? or maybe its just that the banks pull this shit at the end of the year to reap the fiscal quarters slack for having their coffers emptied due to a certain well known series of western religions holidays slumped together due to roman conquest? i digress.

luckily, i put a healthy amount of dough on my laundry card, so im safe in the clean smelling dept. now all i have to do is find someone magnanimous enough to aid me in transport to a local aldais or wegmans to budget out my food funds for groceries instead of wendys. yes, i have a wendys problem. ask enknot. its true.

soo many developments this week. i had to change my myspace profile to private for the first time ever due to some ongoing drama of mine that i have (admittedly) fed into perhaps a tad much in the past six to seven months. a shame, as this woman could have been all i was looking for if she had known how to use the slightest bit of tact and subtlety. but thats another topic, and this one was supposed to be money. so. money.