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Vincent's Journal

vincent
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01/23/2007 11:12 #37832

Just a thought and Reality TV
Category: florida
With the return of winter I'm a bit jealous of my parents being down in Florida while I'm stuck up here working and going to school. My parents have more of a life than I do. I work a miserable job surrounded by degenerates of all kinds fellow employees and patrons. They are in Florida Dad on business/pleasure and Mom on a mental health sebatical.

I just wish I had those years back in which I was a bum and went down there all the time. The winter of 00/01 was the best I spent about 2 months down there spread out from December to April basically every college break and long weekend I could get. I suppose it was (e:imk2) and her desire for 8 weeks vacation that triggered the nostolgia.

I guess if I had the rescourses and had a job where I could get away without needing the paid time off I would live that kind of lilfestyle once again. Now I think it woudl entail heading out west every month or so instead of Florida. I just don't have any desire to go down there anymore except to enjoy the sunshine.

What reminded me of the area where my Mom is was the show "Underage and Engaged" last night on MTV. I think the young couple was from along the gulf coast since the bride's brother was late coming in from Sarasota. It was another one of thsoe "trainwreck" MTV reality shows but again I just felt compelled to watch it. i'm going to stick with the Florida thing as being the "hook."

Basically the best line from the show was the brides brother who is in the military mind you and said to her, "When I tell people that my sister is getting married no one says congradulations; they look at me in shock and say WHY she's so young!"

But although it did make me feel a bit old at the same time when you're a married couple and you live in a shed located in your parents back yard, you have nothing on me. Shit at least I had an apartment back in my married time frame of my life, it sucked but it was still better than being married AND living at home.

That chick had to be chasing some kind of father figure since it was her brother and not her estranged Dad that walked her down the isle.
inspiraysean - 01/23/07 11:27
Make 2007 the year to manifest the lifestyle of your dreams!

01/22/2007 09:07 #37812

What to do?
Category: general
There are just a few things floating through my mind right now.

What desktop system to get for my Dad and myself [Although it has to be a PC since it will split between us]

What kind of new phone to get?

Should I quit my job in the relative future to focus on going back to school full time and study for the CPA?

Should I get serious with someone?

Those are just a few questions that are floating through my head and have been for a considerable amount of time.

On top of the party and my class that got out early (thanks to the professor being a die hard purple eagles fan and a game going on at the same time as our class so he coudl sneak out) I ended up seeing two excellent movies.

The first one was Children of Men. It was scary in the sense that it was pretty much a commentary of current events. It had quite a bit of symbolism and subtle ideas going for it. What I really enjoyed was the sense that I'm pretty sure it appeared that it was shot entirely in the U.K. It reminded me on the movie Nineteen Eighty-Four in some aspects. It is just great to see a movie that is pretty much British or at least plays it self as such. The Prestige came pretty close, but then again it just may be that Sir Michael Caine is in every movie that I have seen in the past 6 months.

Last night I ended up seeing Running with Scissors with T* was Running with Scissors. I have to give her credit for point us to check it out at that scary movie theater behind Wal-Mart on Walden on the grounds of the former Thruway Mall. For $10 2 movie admissions 2 small popcorn and 2 diet pepsi's you just can't beat the price. I haven't seen Borat yet but when it does show up there I'm going back for sure. Even with the Gas I'll still be ahead.

I just loved it. Then again I am a sucker for the 1970's and find the the fashion, decor and the drug use fascinating. For some reason I just kept on thinking The Royal Tenenbaums but again I think Gwyneth Paltrow may have done that in shifting my perception of association. For some reason I think she has reached the point in her career where she just can't full off being the daughter/child now in her career. She just looked a bit too old and unbelievable, it's time to play the Mom not a Daughter. Although Evan Rachel Wood was just amazing, OMG! Then again I think I may have a soft spot for women from North Carolina.

You know it's a great movie when you have people walking out in the first half hour. It is eirther they are offended or just don't get it.

01/16/2007 23:12 #37730

Feeling VERY Guilty
Category: realizations
I was just looking over on LJ when I came across a journal that I haven't read in over a year. This author was once on my friends list a long while back and took her self off for whatever reason. To be honest I'm not quite sure but from my guess it must seem weird to have a single guy on your friends list when you're with a guy for over 1.5 years and all of the rainbows and puppies are floating around your head. I guess at some level I was jealous and wished my life was so young and innocent, ect.

Well I cam across her blog today. Basically it stated on a early Jan entry that 2006 was a miserable year, she got engagged and it fell apart and her life was karmically bad last year.

For some reason I got some satisfaction out of reading about her troubles. Then I realized that I don't know anyone who is happy that gets joy out of someone elses misery.

Yea, I felt like a total asshole.

In the grand scheme of things I donb't think it would have mattered much, except for the fact that she was one of the first journals I stumbled across on LJ about 4 years ago.

It's insane how you can measure someone's life from their blog if they keep it up consistently.

I have come to terms with my bad initial reaction and now have some empathy...

But Damn, Where did that nasty inital reaction come from?

I hope I'm not really an asshat deep down inside :-/
paul - 01/16/07 23:28
I often take pleasure in other people misfortune and I am a generally happy guy. The Germans have mastered it to the point that they have a term for it: Shadenfreude - You can read all about it on wikipedia :::link::: Apparently, there is no english single-word equivalent.
theecarey - 01/16/07 23:23
finding heightened amusment in someone elses misery should be a starting point at looking at your own level of life satisfaction. You are not the only one to do this, we have all been there at some point. but what do i know? ;)

btw, I have known you long enough to be able to say with confidence that you do not have deep seeded asshat tendencies.

01/12/2007 09:20 #37657

falling and drowning
Category: dreams
It was a interesting game last night. I ended up going with my Allentown friend last night and had a descent time. The Leafs pulled out a moral victory over a tired Sabres team that just hit E on the gas tank. All I can say is I love the seats that I do get get from time to time. There's nothing like people watching in the 200 level and watching the Lexus Shootout live.

So after droping off my friend and stopping by spot to grab a decaf tea for the ride home I find myself awake at 4am this morning. I had a really bad nightmare.

It started out in my friend Tom's '94 Dodge Caravan and I think we had another friend of ours in the backseat. We were someplace warm and the windows were open. I noticed a car of three women about 19 or so in a Honda Civic next to us on a gravel parking strip. They were singing to the top of their lungs some really braindead pop song about love & relationships in the bubble gum drama type of way. I turned to Tom and said, "They actually take that shit seriously!" As I said that an beefy in an athletic way Italian woman cop comes out of a convience store across the street and says something along of the lines of "You boys better watch it!" We speed out of there, make a right and a left and come to a dead end street with what looked like a washed out road. We hit the brakes and skid on this white sea shell Florida beach type of roadway.

Our momentum keeps going as we skid and then teeter on the ledge of the end of this sudden dead end street. Then we fall over rear over front and fall into this small beach and then the water. As we are falling I am just thinkg, "This is what I get for not driving myself and leaving it up to someone else." Then after I brace myself for the impact I felt my head bump the ceiling. As I then feel the water rush into the van I can't find the seatbelt to get out and I just think to myself, "So this is how it ends? My parents are really going to love getting this call of their other kid dying in the passenger seat."

I obviously woke up at that moment and in a blury daze checked my email on my phone to read (e:carolinian) and his comment that he left me on my previous journal.

So all I can take from this dream is just my subconscious is telling me to take charge in some way. The falling and drowning I'll have to look up I suppose. But Yea, I pretty disturbing dream sequence I never had or remember a falling and drowning dream before.
metalpeter - 01/13/07 12:34
Crazzy dreams, can't say that I have had them any time recently at all, it been many many years. In terms of the sabres I went to one game and sat in the 200 club level seats they call them preaty amazing. I ate with some people from work at what ever the place is called on the 200 level it was a lot of fun. Even though the sabres lost hope you had a great time.
ladycroft - 01/12/07 12:40
interesting. i had a dream about YOU last night. you called me, but you had this really strange accent. you were asking me about the beach. hmmmmmm. i wonder if you made a cell phone call from your underwater subconcious (sp?). but why call me? i love dreams.

01/11/2007 00:39 #37638

Just thinking about relationships via CL
Category: dating
I was bored today @ work and I was basically trolling around the Buffalo CL and came across this What really hit home was

[box]4) Most people there, have been there, for a very, very long time, and yet, they are afraid of "commitments". When it comes to people on Match.com, the ones who are there for what seems like an eternity, there is reasoning you need to be aware of. First of all, there are far too many people on the site who simply do not have the TIME to devote to serious dating or serious relationships. They know this, and yet, they continue to troll around on Match, having the occasional interaction that usually leads no where. For them, this is the 'best' they can do as far as 'dating' goes. For them, it's not the same as being 'single', and, it's all an illusion they are very comfortable being a part of. Next we have the ones who are never happy with anyone. These people will talk to and make dates with several people at one time. They will keep a 'line up' of potential mates going at all times, so that they are forever 'upgrading' and keeping themselves in the 'life is too short to settle' scenario. Sadly, what happens with all these people, is none of their dates pan out, and they wind up being on the site longer than any other people. Some of them are probably eligible for free lifetime memberships.[/box]

Basically I was thinking that sometime soon I just should settle down and take a "full court press" in getting myself married, again. The last time I got into this mindset I found myself in a bit of trouble. Well actually it wasn't too bad until the skeletons started flying out of her ass.

Seriously, I'm starting to realize that I just don't want to be some single zombie walking through life messing with someone here and there when it is convient for me. There are two imprints that are fueling this round of me thinking to myself, "Maybe Eharmony is a good idea kind of logic." The first being that I am currently surrounded by 3 pregnant women at work, 19, 24 and 30 all of them on their 2 or 3rd kid. Then there is this 31 year old that has been after me ever since her "boyfriend" loose term there was fired about 7 months ago. Now she is a nice person but in terms of life made me realize that I'm really not all that inadequate. Yes, there are many things that am not even close to being on par with most societal norms and expectations, but I'm not pathetic. Although I did get a jabbing from my shift manager today about: being younger, married, making more money, owning 3 houses, having 2 kids, ect... Although I am pretty sure he was setting me up in getting me to buy his 2nd house on Grand Island.

The kicker today was when I stopped by the Orange Cat I overhead a conversation these two guys were having about relationships. The short of it was they were discussing if it was prudent for this guy to continue in a relationship with a woman 10 years older than him [she's 45, he's 35] if he wanted a shot at having kids. The older guys basically told the younger guy to just take the person at face value and ignore everything else. To me that's a tough one. Everyone has some kind of criteria and basic standards. Although it seems that every guy in every part of the country wants that skinny 20 year old, no matter what he looks like or is as a person, women have their own hangups in their own ways. The lifetime members to match.com are equally split down both genders, there is no right or wrong.

My own personal question is: What is in my head that has kept me single for a whiile now?
carolinian - 01/12/07 02:24
Random thoughts on your post.

I feel pretty much the same way you do. I'm 30, and it sometimes feels like I'm in marathon race where everyone's already crossed the finish line into the world of marriage and kids and meanwhile I'm I across town on an errand to get a new pair of running shoes.

I'm trying the best I can to tell myself that the good that comes from this is that I can take my time to enjoy sightseeing along the racecourse while the other guys huffed and puffed oblivious to everything and collapsed into a coma once the reached their destination.

In regards to e-harmony, give it a try. The ads on TV are hokey and the founder Dr. whoever is preachy, but the idea of matching people up using a somewhat sound personality test is a legitimate idea and I met the most compatible person I've dated in this way.

And honestly, I envy your success with your messings around. I've never been able to pick up a woman in any setting, let alone in New York City bar like you did.

You've hinted that you're waiting longer to get married this time around is because that you've learned from the mistakes of the past. You should really listen to yourself in that regard.

And finally, in the world of TV (and estrip as well), membership in a world of a bunch of neurotic unmarried 30-somethings (Friends, Seinfeld, Sex In The City) is quite common, and given how popular these shows are, at least some married people think that we're really cool.

(And yes, I do think that estrip probably could be turned into a successful sitcom.)