Do you want to know what reduces me to a goopy glop of mush? Go here:

(credit to (e:hodown) for sharing that link)

Other stuff: manners, kindness, patience and passion

Things that will not make me warm and fuzzy inside: disrespect, raw celery and spiders (and clowns and monkeys, especially monkeys dressed as clowns).

I am in bed with my beloved laptop, and down comes a spider, just two inches infront of my face. It is one of those super nasty yellowish-almost transparent varieties. Ya know.. big googly eyes, fangs, hair everywhere and maniacal laughter.. completes the picture.. mine, not the spiders' ;)

Anyhow, with my quick reaction. I sat up staight giving myself distance from the spider. Yet it dropped between my legs before I could bounce out of bed. *shiver*

Its dead.. its little body squished between Puffs Ultra Soft tissue.

I hope big momma spider doesn't come out to eat me in my sleep. (please, no nightmares.. ) Spiders in bed and in the shower leave me feeling very vulnerable. *looks around the room.. double checking the corners and ceiling above bed*

I must check out the uber cute site again.. to get the nasty multi legged creature out of my head..

Dated a guy once who was more scared of spiders than myself.

It is just about Friday.. I am so happy that this class is over. All the work is done.. I now have a ton of work due next week.. but I am giving myself about two days off before I look at any of it.

Off to dream land..

Respectfully,
Carey

The dishes are done, man.

• pow*

• climbs down from roof*

Ok.. they really aren't done..

and I have never taken a shot gun to my dirty dish collection, although it isn't a bad idea.. maybe work on some pent up hostility ;)

What is *really* done.. hehehe... and done quite well, so I think (hope)

is..

my...

MONSTER CLASS PROJECT!!!!

It isn't even all that long..

No longer than one of my classic (e:strip) posts (4 thousand words or so..) haha

But each sentence.. yeh.. it all works together.


I am not too proud to say that I need some pampering after this week..

I need to call about that massage... I sooooo need it now.. Sitting in one spot all day long
((minus the Corn beef, cabbage and Guiness lunch.. )
.., is killer on my back.

Do I normally whine this much?

Anyhow.. got my car back.. it was the gas line.

• bounce* I am happy that I have the project done.. now I just have a final tomorrow that I havent prepared for due to said monster project.

wish me luck..

and sweet dreams.. I need them.

• positive thoughts in-- nasty negative maladaptive whiny thoughts out-- positve thoughts in...*

Take care, lots of mushy love and sloppy kisses
Thee Carey

satisfied belly: check
candles lit: check
logs in the fireplace: indeed..check
small cup of coffee: check

maybe later.. wine. Although that, and the fireplace, is best when shared.

Alright.. so I am really tearing into this class project. [s]I must[/s]I will have it done by tomorrow evening.

I have so much on my mind that it is a challenge to maintain my focus-the good, the bad, the ugly- all of it, scratching at my mental door. Come back later or don't come around.

Had a few Hershey's Kisses although I did not really want them.

Everyone around me has boxes of Girl Scout cookies. Evil bitches.

I am also over tired today; sleep eluded me last night despite being drained and up hours and hours past my bedtime. Not so much a bad thing though..thanks friends ;)

I want to go camping. Soon. I intend to pack a bag and run for the hills. Exhaust myself hiking, playing ball and laughing. Then relaxing by a campfire with a light book, pen and paper...and intriguing conversation. Simple things...

My car is almost ready. It was the gas line. My front passenger door now opens. The rear driver's side opens, but quite possibly not for long. I was given the option to have the locking mechanism permanently disengaged. I always have stuff in my car and would prefer not to have one door that can never lock. If it can'tt ever open again, I won't be upset. I can still access the backseat through the other rear door. I was most concerned with the front. Not *all* of my friends like to get into my car Dukes of Hazard style :)

My niece let me borrow her car for work today, she is so sweet. ha, a kid she went to school with, TJ Van Dueson (sp) , also from Youngstown,is on an mtv show that starts tonight, 8th Ocean. I doubt I'll watch.. but he seems to be quite a cutie from the pictures I have seen..

My new neighbor rocks. He beat me to it and came to my door and introduced himself. We chatted for awhile and I firmly believe that we will get along well. We already discussed get-togethers and bon fire parties..and playing basketball. I also told him of the near miss the other day...where I was partially undressed and in the shared staircase when I heard him opening the door. I am such a dork sometimes. Anyway, it is refreshing to have someone live next door that is within my age bracket--whatever that is ;) More specifically, there are not a group of kids/babies next door to me. I can crank my techno and dance around without concern. He said I can't possibly ever be too loud. We'll see.. lol.

I am looking to have a massage this weekend. I am rewarding myself for all of my recent hard work and effort. I keep putting it off, but this past week (month) has really given me the incentive to just go and let someone take care of me. I don't feel as though I am full of knots or anything, but I want a deep tissue massage. I also don't want the person to talk to me while I am getting it done. I don't care for strangers to make small talk. Especially questions about school or work. Anyway, I was given a business card for a place in the North Town plaza. I have no preference where I go as long as they do a decent job. (e:Vincent) who do you go to again? Anyone have any other suggestions?

I need this week to slow down to a crawl.

Have no major plans for the weekend. I have neglected some people.. I should try to contact them..

Yet laundry and cleaning the apartment sounds wonderful as well. And sleep.

It is supposed to be a really nice weekend--excellent for hiking, running around outside.. throwing a nerf ball (my mutant pinky fingers can't handle the impact of a regular football)---fire up the grill.. Endless possibilities...


Break over.. back to school work.

Be good.. be kind..

Carey

I made it to Barnes and Noble last night. The store (and parking lot) was packed. I waded through people to get to the book section I was looking for. After pulling a few selections off the shelf, I made my way over to an empty aisle, where I sat on the floor to read.

Purchase made, I then headed out to Elmwood Spot. I worked on my school project for a couple of hours over a caramel macchiato and a raspberry Italian soda. When I went to start my car, it refused to turn over. All of the dash lights glared angrily at me. I kept at it until the car reluctantly turned on. I drove to a well lit parking lot, so I could take a look under the hood. I checked fluids, sniffed around the major parts, and noticed a faint gasoline odor. It was hard to tell if it was coming from my car, with so many other cars and smells permeating the air. My car hesitates to start again..

Forward to: pulling into my driveway. What was once a very full gas gauge was now displaying less than half a tank of gas. I only drove 60 miles, which would be two and a half gallons, tops.

And the gasoline smell was strong.

Obvious deduction? Hole in the gas line. That would explain the tough start, the sputtering drive and the quickly depleting gas tank. Air in gas line will cause the sputtering and tough start.. gas can't get to where it needs to go. Maybe I am wrong..So tomorrow, I will call my mechanic and AAA to tow my car out there. I also need an oil change and perhaps they can look at my doors, as two of the four do not open. I would be satisfied with the front passenger door being able to open again. Not sure how to handle the "no car" situation.. I am sure my car will be tied up for a few days. Yuck, I hate being without transportation!!

The strangest part, it that I dreamt about it. Maybe there were prior signs of the car having issues before the obvious one last night.. and I just hadn't consciously attended to it yet. Whatever, just odd..

Weekend was otherwise good. Friday evening was very pleasant. A nice retreat from the crazy ass week I had. I love chaos, but sometimes I need to decompress, which is exactly what occurred. Brought back some balance. Saturday was busy with school work and self reflection and sniffing my car. Today, more school work and I attended an art show. Good times.

Now I am taking a break to write this post, before I get back to my project. I am sure that I am complicating it more than I need to and that I could scale down the intensity to a more sane level.. yet I choose not to. I enjoy putting effort into something I enjoy. I have my own standards that I reach for. This is particularly true if my interest is high, which in this case, it is. I love a challenge. I thrive off of learning and applying. There is something invigorating about it. I guess, I am a self proclaimed nerd. I need to figure out how I will target my cerebral energy once I have earned my masters. More school? Will I find a challenging job? Should I start my own business? That would be a great challenge.. I am creative, energetic, positive, willing, tenacious and have an entrepreneurial spirit.. so why not?Hmm.. but what?

I am not a complainer. I am a doer. If I sense that something needs to change, I begin a course of action to initiate the change process. Part of that is being aware for the need for change, and another is to devise an action plan. That is what I will do in the near future. I have some things to figure out, and I will. I intend to take a devoted amount of time and hash it out. Maybe I will go somewhere---camp or rent a room and just hide for a day or two and figure out a few things. No distractions. No e-strip :) Just my brain, a notebook and... *fill in blank*

On that note, it is time to get back to my project. I have a feeling that the effort that I am putting into it is going to pay off in some way.. just a feeling..

I thought I would share this with all of you:

"The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that a bonus?!? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out for being too healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start to work you get a gold watch on the first day. You work for forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm!! Amen" ~George Constanza

Sounds good..

Take care,
Carey

I may need coffee today. I think Spot or Orange Cat may be on my itinerary. *yawn*

Along with Barnes and Noble, Lexington co-op, Dicks and some discount store. That is far too many stores for me to handle, yet they all tie in, so I am not sure if I can omit any one of them.

I am on (e:strip), but I should be researching a portion of my school project, but I needed a short break. Maybe I will bring my laptop with me when I go to one of the above mentioned caffeine lairs.

My new neighbor is definitely here. I hear him moving around a lot. Well, I wasn't entirely aware of this until yesterday evening. After work, I cranked some music (new Madonna cd is hot), the walls were vibrating, floors thumping and I am dancing around and cleaning and singing loudly. The other apartment has been empty since November, which I have been taking full advantage of this arrangement.

The walls are not paper thin, but I do try to keep the music volume within reason if I know my neighbors are home. Until the other apartment is full of furnishings, I am sure everything seems louder right now. The only thing our apartments share is a staircase to our basements. Our kitchen doors that lead to the stairwell face each other. I whipped open my door (half dressed- after getting out of the shower- clean clothes in basement) and flew down the staircase . Just as I reached the bottom, I hear movement, maybe the other apartment door opening. I quickly pushed through the door to my basement and closed it. I did not want my first encounter w/ my neighbor to be where I am in just a bra and draw string pants. I busted up laughing from the near miss. It would have topped off my loud music, singing and dancing.

I knew that someone would be moving in and I heard some movement last week.. but it will take time to get used to someone being right next door to me again. Yesterdays "almost encounter" helped speed that up.

Maybe next weekend after he has had a chance to settle a little, I will go over and introduce myself, if in the meantime I donâ??t run into him or do something really dumb, like belching the alphabet in between cooking dinner and talking to my cat, Joe. haha.

So, how should I introduce myself? Do I knock on his kitchen door and request, "I need some shugah, baby...I mean, a cup of sugar." If he is fun, he will find humor in a non traditional "welcome".. if he isn't, I suspect he will shut the door, close the blinds and move out. Ok, I am not really going to ask him for some sugar.

Oy, it is already five-ish. Not enough time during the weekend at all. My niece is in some pageant- Niagara County? Western New York? Not sure.. but I am not going tonight. School work and a conference will interfere. Had I known it was tonight (ok, I think it was mentioned in passing a couple of weeks ago), I would have arranged for an earlier conference meeting. Instead, I will go to her art show. She was entered into a regional (er was it state?) competition and she placed. She doesn't know it yet. My mom (who has custody of her) was contacted about it. I want to be there for that.

Ok, my little break is over, time to get back to the school work, then head out to get books and coffee. That's about all I am up for today, shopping wise. Then back to school work. Yay.

Keep your chin up!

~C