I have needed to sneeze for over six hours.

six hours.

It is quite the insane feeling to feel the need to sneeze, constantly, for six hours.

SNEEZE ALREADY!!!

ahhhhh!

If I keep my nostril closed, it lessens the sensation.

If the earth shakes and you hear "WOO HOO!!" after wards, just say "bless you", 'cause that meant I finally sneezed.



That is all.

Carey :)

Another glimpse into my humor-- snagged from a random email..


Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?


In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.


How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?


Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"



This is as deep as it gets.

er, no, thats not it..

ah, Brokeback Mountain

I am a sucker for a hot guy.
This movie had two..

What I wouldn't/would do to be the filling in that sandwhich.

• sigh*

yeh, more steamy scenes would have been appreciated, deeply.

But my imagination can work out the details just fine.

I could feel the love in the movie..

And my new semi mushy self felt semi sad..

(e:jenks), (e:ladycroft) and myself met up at the Dipson Theater on Hertel (Palace Theater), which was jam packed. People were running down the street to get to the 7pm show. Opening night for this area and the only theater showing it as per movie listings www.fandango.com


Shoulda seen the masses awaiting to get in for the 10pm show..

I was about to post a comment, then decided otherwise.

Yuck

I don't particularly like that I am writing about this.

Especially so publicly. I will make it short. And maybe delete it.

Ever been a person that didn't "feel" much, never attended to it.. then at some point find yourself tangled up in a whirl of, um, emotions??

That anything remotely emotional would send you running, running as fast as you can because it takes too much effort and vulnerability to deal with it. Its messy and you are particular and have discerning tastes, so no one could really 'get in' even though they tried. That if you stayed away from potentially good people (guys) just so you don't have to worry about dealing with those feelings. Expiration dates are good, because you know that you will just have superficial fun in the moment, then go on.. Because it feels a lot safer.

Then you meet someone who has far superior emotional capabilities and the chemistry is right and you find yourself opening up with gentle persistence.

"I don't scare easy" they say, and that is wonderful; because you do. But you don't run, in fact you find yourself doing/saying things (and not doing things) that would never have been considered before.

And you care. You care a lot. It's become a part of you. There is no turning back.

You wish amazing things for that person. You find everything is about them and not so much yourself. I don't mean in a self neglect sort of way, but in that "I am no longer selfish" sort of way.

And you don't go anywhere, because you didn't think they would run/scare away.

But they did. *poof*

And that sucks.

No, it hurts.

Fuck, I hate that.

And you still wish amazing things for that person. With everything you have and all that you are you still want them to be happy, have success, fun, and would love to be able to take away their lost feelings, their past turmoil.. and you know you would, if you could.

It's a raw feeling. Maybe it will go away. I've never done this before.
I just know that the root canal I had done a couple of hours ago, is nothing in comparison to this.

And so I had to write.

To you, the first to challenge my attitude, feelings, knowledge set..

You know that I am authentic in my words, meaning and means..

I am not scaring off easily.

I want to play Tetris, dammit. I have an old school Nintendo system, circa 1985. I have a stack of games that remains, from back in the day. Mario Bros 1,2,3, Loopz, Tetris 1,2, DuckHunt, Pro Am and I should have a few others as well. If I get this system fired up again, I may make my way to the pawn shops to see who has some games lingering. I would like to find "Simons Quest", a game that (e:ladycroft) and I would play for hours; monsters, blood and mystery.. cool stuff.

I found the games, controllers (including gun) and the main unit easily enough, however, the ac adapter and other cord(s) were not found. I didn't look real hard as there are so many places that it could be stashed. I will have to continue my search in the daylight. I don't do basements or garages very well alone and at night. I am sorry I did not think to begin my search earlier, as I had envisioned a night of sitting in my underwear, drinking Guinness draught, bonding to new music and playing Nintendo.

I had other systems, such as Odyssey. Which was cooler than Atari. Better graphics, cooler games and it had a flat keyboard. I remember playing the game, "Cryptologic", where you would type in any word you wanted, which was then scrambled. The other player had to try to figure it out. Ofcourse we would come up with the dirtiest words our little minds could come up with. That game system was circa 1982, I think. I have a picture of myself with it at Christmas. It kicked around until just two years ago. I think I tossed it. I purged a lot of stuff in my last move. Including games to Sega Genesis (Road Rash!) and Super Nintendo.

Hmm, all this game talk is making me itch for a system. *thinking*, but not anytime soon. I'd be starting at zero, and I am well aware of the cost involved. So, not now... I will just have to play yours :)


I have some computer games I could play such as Myst, Riven and a few other similar games. I also have a paid membership to a game site, www.pogo.com, so that would be a possibility as well, although once I have something in my mind, that's just what I want. Dammit.


I was thinking about how I used to play a computer game, back in the summer of 1985, called "Roots" or maybe it was "Below the Roots". It played on a Commodore computer. I recall spending a week at an uncles house, and I would just play that game the entire time. ((I was 9 years old. Back to the Future was playing in the theater. I lost a tooth while watching it. My uncle had a really cool orange Volkswagen bus. Those were damn cool!! Back then I could stand up inside and my head not quite touched the roof.)) I would love to play that game again, just to see why it held my interest so deeply.


So tonight, no games are on my agenda. Instead, I have gone ahead with sitting in my underwear, drinking Guinness, listening to new cds (Insanity Wave, Psychedelic Furs and Morcheeba), and looking up information on dogs. Eventually I will move on to reading for awhile. I have about a half dozen books I am working on and a gigantic stack that I hope to get to on my next work break.

Tonight I will choose an entertaining and fairly mindless book, probably a horror or psychological thriller. Or maybe this book on a grassroots movement that is working on "causing a new form of spirituality to emerge upon the earth". An interesting read, so far. I will read anything, from any viewpoint, on pretty much any subject. I havent declined a topic yet..


The dog information search is because I would eventually like a dog. I am going to take this process slowly and thoroughly. I have never owned a dog. I need to make sure that I am able and fully willing to take care of a dog. Honestly, I would prefer to be a secondary care giver, not the primary. In this, I would be more comfortable if someone else took the lead. I have a ton of questions and concerns. I am trying to figure out when it would be a good time in my life to have a dog. I also need to choose a breed that will fit into and adapt to my lifestyle and apartment size. I may want a Newfoundland but my apartment is only big enough for a Chihuahua. Yet i do not want that kind of dog. I think my cats would laugh at it. In my search, I think I can go for breed that falls into the small to medium category. I know I need one that gets along with other animals.

It must not eat my cats!

I want one mostly for my cat Joe to adopt as his own. He is fond of "babysitting" other animals that I have brought into the house. He is fascinated by them, follows them everywhere and kisses them if he is allowed to. I figure based on this, I would want to go the puppy route. So there is obviously a lot for me to think about, and a significant amount of knowledge, time and effort is needed before and during this process. I am leaning towards a terrier of some sort, maybe a Boston Terrier? maybe a Pug? I will keep researching.. I will not take any action until I feel I am well informed and fully ready for the responsibility.

Joe checking on (e:Bambi) (she is ladycrofts dog, therefor is a peep by association!)


He's going in to steal a kiss from this strange looking girl.. I missed the actual contact he made with her.


chillin'.. but watchful.


an urge to tie up Bambi (maybe I need to reconsider dog ownership)


c'est moi!



And so, that is my night so far. I am keeping low, for no reason other than the desire to have a nice quiet night at home. The work week was a bit exhausting. I have patience, understanding, humor and some aloofness to get me through any situation at work. I only feel frustrated when people have within their power a way to make it possible for a job to be done better. The Autistic kiddo I work with are challenging, which I love, and I love the chaos and the unknown. I also love to see the progress they make. I despise people who have no idea of what we do, getting in our way. They do nothing but smother our morale and make for a dangerous work environment. Severe behaviors have led to a multitude of injuries. It is accepted that it is part of the job, but please do not make it harder by butting in. (little rant was needed, thank you). So, I could use a thorough massage as I can feel the tension in my shoulders and a few areas of overworked muscles. It is prompting me to up my physical activity and add extra strength movements. Primarily to increase my job performance..


One last thought (or one that has been there) on my mind: My current class, with my absolute favorite teacher ever, boosts my energy and morale. I could barely sleep last night after getting in from class. I wanted to fall asleep, but my mind was bouncing. Before I start gushing about him, I will end this. However, last nights class was a gentle kick in the ass about things that I have been thinking about for a long time. And that I will write about soon enough. (journal prompt)


Step outside and take a look at the moon..

Good night!

Take care and be safe..
Carey