Yet another person from my past has made contact with me. This is thee BIG one, though. I'm still processing all this and what it means. It's like I have just been shaken. Should I be sad, happy, regretful, hopeful? What comes to mind is that I think all my baggage has been officially sorted and purged. All gone; clean slate. And I believe that I am now in Carey-Revised. I can't say for certain anymore that I am a certain way, now that all this seemingly new stuff has come to surface. I say seemingly new because I think I knew all along that it was there, but it has only been as of recently (past 2-3months) that it has appeared. I suffer the consequences and learn from them and from now on, go with the newer me, even if I feel lame, unsure.. see, that's not me, but now part of me. I am having trouble spitting this out and having it make sense. Ahh!

So yeh, alll in a matter of a couple of months, all of these people, through phone calls, emails, instant messages, finding me through others, finding me at my doorstep, I mostly have shrugged it off, perhaps finding some humor and a bit of uncanniness to it, until today. Now I find it very strange, indeed. Karma? A kick in the ass? Perhaps, it can be viewed as a bit of direction? I won't ruminate for too long on this.. its just fresh in my head.
_________________________________________
After some sleep I rounded out the New Years Survey: [inlink]theecarey,75[/inlink]


And now on to New Years Eve pictures:

Just getting started


Awwe, (e:ladycroft) and (e:theecarey) working our way through some champagne


Tastes good..


Bottle One, complete


smile pretty! (still sober)


Oh no.. Timika and Carey getting warm and fuzzy over (e:jenks) post [inlink]jenks,26[/inlink]that included the lyrics to Depeche Mode, "I want"

The pictoral montage (reading aloud the lyrics)








Uh oh, the "comments" begin. Anyone on (e:strip), more specifically, anyone that had recently made a post, was fair game to our drunken antics. I think the one that cracked me up was when Timika asked, "who's (e:scud)" and I replied, "He's a boy", and that somehow ended up in a comment.


Logged under my name, LadyC was typing away.. proof :)


I am always good for knocking over a drink. It is axiomatic. Champagne all over my table and jeans, I am suprised I didn't break or short circuit anything!


Cheers!

• stumped* I don't remember being in the closet..

Heading out! Champagne worn off by this time, but still not the best role models here..


Looking for a restricted brain cell movie, Dick and Jane made the cut.


Timika, I am not sure if I ever looked that happy coming out of a public restroom. Who's number did ya get? ;)


Two medium Sprites, One small bag of popcorn and Two small bottles of 99% alcohol (orange flavor) to add to sprite. Yum.


Leaving..


12:00am.. Happy New Years! woo!


A night of drinking must be followed up by eating.. so Denny's it is (what else is open?)


Hmm.. an epicurean delight.. what form of grease do I want?

• looks around*.. feeling like I am gonna catch something

Food! yay! Vehicles For Ketchup©


"Non- Smokers".. enjoying the occasional clove.




Lastly, we are the mistresses of our domain, Bad Asses of the Universe.. er.. somethin' like that. HellooOOoOOoooOoo 2006.



So it turned out to be a pretty fun night. I make my own amusment and enjoy simple things...
Good friends, good times, right?

2006 How will you unfold?

Happy New Years everyone!
(updated)
Many pictures to be posted soon. Don't hate us for the crazy drunken comments we left in approximately 14 journals, lol. It seemed a good thing to do at the time (2 empty champagne bottles later), while waiting to go to the movies, with (e:ladycroft) logged in under my name, and I over her shoulder mumbling things to her...


OK, so the year is over...
Snagged from (e:ladycrofts) journal: [inlink]ladycroft,156[/inlink]

Where were you when 2005 began?

On top of the highest roof of the NACC (The Niagara Arts and Cultural Center) , formally the old Niagara Falls High School. A bunch of artist friends who rent studio space there had a small gathering, which included going out on the various rooftops, climbing higher and higher, until we made it to the highest rooftop, so we would view the entire city, including Niagara Falls, Ontario and the various displays of fireworks. It was the scariest thing I had done in a long time. I am amazed at my courage that night and the amount of trust I put into someone else guiding me through the climbing. I am afraid of heights and have never been past the second rung of a ladder. I faced plunging multiple building stories; falling from a 20 foot ladder, the narrow ledges and other walls I balanced on. Freaky! I didn't have to do anything I absolutely did not want to do. I was reticent, initially, yet something compelled me at the same time.
It was amazing..
I love having that memory!


Who were you with?

I think there were six of us who dared the climbing. Others stayed back. I recall Stiffler (ok, Tom, but he looks just like Stiffler from American Pie movies) being the one who was wonderful in talking me through the adventure. It was weird to trust someone like that. But I did it, and I had a new found respect for him after that. Good times.


Where will you be when 2005 ends? Whom will you be with when 2005 ends?

I know I am not going to be going down town. I have been to First Night and have checked out the bars on Chippewa in the past, but it hasn't been my thing lately, especially in the cold and the over inflated cover charges. I was invited to a party, also a "kiss me at midnight" invite, could just do something on my own (movie marathon, drawing or painting, or reading something fun.. yeh yeh, I enjoy my nerdy solitude) or just wing it.

Update: (e:ladycroft) and I had lunch at Spot earlier in the day. In discussing our options, which we both had a few interesting offers, we decided on staying close to home, well, my home anyways. We thought it to be fun to go to a late movie, imbibe a little before during and possibly after, get food.. go to Dennys! ..becuase that is just fitting, and whatever adventure materializes from that scenario.

She came over, we quickly consumed two bottles of champagne and proceeded to check out the local movie theater listing. While waiting to head out to the movies, we continued online, ended up at (e:strip) and ended up making a bunch of random comments. I apologize for the really stupid ones, lol. As she typed, I put in my two cents. It was funny, atleast at the time. Now I just shake my head.

Lots of pics taken as well. I am sure to post them in the near future.



Was 2005 a good year for you?

I think so. A lot of good things have happened throughout the year. The low points were moments to learn from, so if I do that, it guess I can say it went pretty well.

Jan/Feb: Shaking off 2004. Dodging stalkers. Awaiting grad school admission. Finally made myself jump into the world of grad school. Found a program I totally fell for and knew beyond all else that I would be in my element (still holds true). Also mild crush on my admissions counselor. Begin school, scaled back on work load (quit secondary jobs), get used to using my brain intensely again.
Mar-April : Intense behavioral interventions and behavioral modification plan initiated with extreme bahavior consumer; get my ass kicked daily and build a stong friendship with those who worked with me on this. Trust.
May-September: Crazy summer. Met quite a few people. Heard from my father, out of the blue. Created a beutiful garden; very lush and natural- not manicured. Reconnected with Timika and we caught up quickly. Bonfires, bike riding, travels, sitting on the rocking bot dock, lots of Corona and extra lime. Met more great people, joined (e:strip), although skeptical at first. Visited colleges with my niece, who graduates this year. Celebrated 30th B-day.
Oct-Dec: Met more wonderful amazing people. Learned a lot about my emotional capabilities, all good; I think I am a romantic or something at heart, when in the company of the right people. Depth of character suprsising at times. Managed to not slip (entirely) into the darkness that comes with this time of year. Began cross country skiing. Bought my beloved iPod.

What was your favorite moment of the year?

I have a few. The most recent are the fondest.
I am a kisser; it provides a lot of information about someone. It is often functually good, but not to the degree and intensity that makes me feel like "this is just where I want to be" feeling. I experienced an amazing kiss that totally altered my world. Yeh, in that moment, I was hooked, or something. Just touching his hand.. wow.Made me a giddy school girl and I loved it. And also all that came of being around this person.. I am still awestruck. I wish that feeling for everyone. We'd all be a glop of goo.
Other highlights.. doing some damn good stuff in grad school,networking, classmate friendships, opening up in general, experiencing incredible breakthroughs with the autistic child I work with, really good conversations, unofficially breaking up with LiveJournal.com, a journal site I have been writing in since 2000, after getting to know and love (e:strip). I am more open in my writing as well.. sometimes TMI (too much information), but hey, its all good. OOooooOOoh, and watching some Mens Rugby and the after game fun. Damn good game.


What was your least favorite moment of the year?
The moments of the Unknown, that I occasionally perseverate on. Ya know, when you don't know what is going on, what you should do, what you shouldn't do.
Also, not knowing what my next career step should be. Just feeling lost in general. And trying to figure it out on my own. I am confident yet there are those moments..


Did you keep your New Year resolutions of 2005?
I didn't have official resolutions, but I made sure to make some changes. I had a few bad/weird/cathartic experiences in the last quarter of 2004. I knew I had to do things differently and I have followed through on those things. I hold myself accountable and I learn what I can from experiences. There is other stuff I could have worked harder at. So maybe I will consider those aspects for the new year.



Did you fall in love in 2005?
Fall? Something happened. I just don't know exactly what.
Tripped, maybe fell on my own? Oy.


Did you breakup with anyone in 2005?


Did you make any new friends in 2005?
Yep!

What was your favorite month of 2005?
hmm, I think it would be September/October. It was a pretty good year.. so many new things going on and so much that I have overcome.

Did you travel outside of the US in 2005?
I just ventured to Canada

How many different states did you travel to in 2005?
um, I didn't travel much, with work and school.. but I did go to Cleveland. If I went anywhere else, I do not recall.


Did you miss anybody in the past year?

Not a strong sense of "miss", but zi think about my sis and my dad.. I haven't seen or talked to my sister in over two years, I haven't had any contact with my father in 16 years. He contacted me out of the blue one night through email over the summer. He wants to see me and I would like to work on that relationship, but it hasn't really gone anywhere. I can't talk to my other family member about it as they are closed up and don't want me having contact with him. And I don't know anyone who may understand what this is about that I could talk to, so I just let it all slide by.
A few people I have made friends with that I havent seen or heard from in a long time I would like to reconnect with. Also try to get in touch with a few old friends, make some attempt to keep in touch. There is no excuse not to.


What was your favorite song from 2005?
I really loved listening to The Killers (Mr. Brightside) and Moby (I like it), Brand New (Sic Transit Gloria...Glory Fades)

What was your favorite album from 2005?

Moby: Hotel both the lyric cd and its ambient cd. Very cool stuff. I listened to it repeatedly all summer long. Actually, up until I got my iPod, now I listen only occasionally. I also got into OAR, whom I have a bunch downloaded to the pod. Freakin' good stuff. A story in every song.


Did you drink a lot of alcohol in 2005?
Yes. More than I ever have in my entire life. But I am a light weight in the drinking department.

Did you do drugs in 2005?
In the Sin Tent at my birthday party., not really my thing though.

Did you do anything you are ashamed of this year?
2005.. I don't think so. I made some choices towards the end of 2004 that I have been sticking to because some of my choices weren't so great then.

What was the worst lie someone told you in 2005?
I am not aware of any lies told or told to me, they may have been told, but nothing sticks out.

Did you treat somebody badly in 2005?
Yes.

Did somebody treat you badly in 2005?
I usually shake it, so I am not thinking anything specific. There's some hurt, but I don't think intentional.

What was your proudest moment of 2005?

Following through on grad school applications and actually doing it.
Allowing myself to open up, be vulnerable, feel and all that mushy stuff that I would normally not have a clue about. Now I do.
A lot of permanent changes, all of which have made be a better person, even if I feel weaker. Its odd, but it is good.

What was your most embarrassing moment of 2005?
I don't embarass easy even though I consider myself shy. A few uncomfortable moments.. like crying a couple of times, I will have to think about this one.

If you could go back in time to any moment of 2005 and change something, what would it be?
Not be a jerk that I can be. I close into myself and those that try to get in, I shun. Maybe verbalize things that I was otherside only thinking. Stay in better contact with my family. Help my mom out more. Damn, i can be such a jerk..

What are your plans for 2006?
No plans as of yet, but off the top of my head..
Finish grad school
Figure out what I am doing with myself.
Amp up my physical activity.
Do my laundry, take the coins that have built up in the washer out.
Expunge all that I do not need, want, use from my life. The garage and basement is in need of a major purging.
I really want a dog! but thats not happening until I figure out how to take care of myself, lol.
Reflect, learn, move on..

Wal-Mart announced that they will soon be offering customers a new
discount item. Wal-Mart's own brand of wine.

The world's largest retail chain is teaming up with E&J Gallo Winery of California, to produce the spirits at an affordable price, in the $1-3 range.

Wine connoisseurs may not be inclined to throw a bottle of Wal-Mart
brand into their shopping carts, but "there is a market for cheap wine," said
Kathy Micken, professor of marketing.

She said: "But the right name is important."

Customer surveys were conducted to determine the most attractive name forthe Wal-Mart brand.

The top surveyed names in order of popularity are:

10.Chateau Traileur Parc

9. White Trashfindel

8. Big Red Gulp

7. World Championship Riesling

6. NASCARbernet

5. Chef Boyardeaux

4. Peanut Noir

3. I Can't Believe It's Not Vinegar!

2. Grape Expectations

And the number 1 name for Wal-Mart Wine:

1. Nasti Spumante

The beauty of Wal-Mart wine is that it can be served with either white
meat
(Possum) or red meat (Squirrel).

And speaking of Walmart, and how much I love it.. Dana ((e:pyrcedgrrl)) gave me a most lovely gift. She made sure to tell me that I must open that gift last, as it is extra special and would easily overshadow the other gifts she gave me (like fuzzy socks, new madonna CD, a much desired Wild Honey fragrence, and other fine items).

And she was right, the last gift and the most special, which I will always hold dear to my heart..



An official 2005 Walmart collectors tin, filled with hard candy.

Be envious.


Thank you so much, you shouldn't have..

really.

hahaha

--to receive an absurd gag gift from me is a sign of deep affection.

To receive one from Dana, well, she is just an 'asshole', my favorite term of endearment for her-- lol

• kisses*

Cost of.. living?

No, Cost of Whining.

A person seeking information will be discerning regarding the context they read. It is imperative to peruse the source of information with skepticism, an open mind and, if you are indeed serious, time.

If you are gathering information to write an article to support your thoughts, then I suggest read them and follow the same previously mentioned protocol. This allows the reader the opportunity to see that the writer is, in the very least, serious about his or her work; even if they wholly disagree. Disagreement is good, but let it be as well informed as possible. If you really want to have some fun, go ahead and challenge your own thoughts by reading information that contradicts your beliefs. But don't go too crazy, now ;)

Of course, we can scrutinize even the best compiled writing. Regardless of facts and what seems obvious, everything can be interpreted according to the reader. Factors such as generation, culture, gender, education, race, temperament and experience influence our mental models and therefore how we perceive and interpret information. With all that taken into consideration, this pursuit is not errorless. We are humans; we all have varying degrees of weakness and stubbornness.

However, if you do not spend the time reading the information, then you can't very well interpret it. If you are spewing a few words for the sake of a paycheck, well then, apparently no rules apply. I am talking to you, Media. Tsk tsk.

(e:Joshua) [inlink]joshua,93[/inlink] wrote aptly about the bullshit nature of those who provide news sources; oh those poor starving journalists! Joshua included a link to an article in which the writer, Daniel Gross, going on a real stretch here, compares the field of journalism to the creative class and the subsequent effect of high prices on their craft and lifestyle. As promised, it is my turn to rant.

"The journalists who write these stories about people who can't afford to live in New York can't afford to live in New York, either. And that's a trend that may prove just as corrosive to establishment media as any disruptive technology."

Gross goes on to say that wages have been stagnating for years at the big three companies and that he himself writes for the Times. The big three companies are Dow Jones (who owns The Wall Street Journal), Times, Inc and The New York Times Company, all who own multiple domestic and international subsidiaries in electronic and paper format and are NOT hurting for revenue.

Take a look at the SEC filings for each company (10-Qs and 8-Ks), the amount paid out in liabilities (read: employee wages) is a miniscule percentage compared to the revenue they generate or are expected to generate.

Links to 10Qs and 8Ks which provide a significantly accurate financial picture as opposed to the story telling nature of the Annual Report are as follows:

Dow Jones:

New York Times:

Time,Inc:

If journalists' wages are stagnating, it is not due entirely to market, real estate inflation or any other extraneous factor. Quiet possibly the company is paying competitive wages (and you are just a seeping whine bag) or the company is holding out on pumping up your income. Which one is it?

And sure they have the funds to pay, but are you worth it?

You see, I took a look at what a journalist is being paid by any one of the "Big Three" companies. I could not find a specific dollar amount, but I did find job postings, the requisite education and experience, then I plugged that into a national database to find the range of pay for the job, not just in general, but also specific to New York City. Furthermore, to determine what degree of pathetic 'poor me' syndrome we are talking about here, I data mined statistics on US and NYS poverty levels (since you journalists are crying about not being able to afford a comfortable lifestyle like your Lawyer 'peers', HAHA-I giggle at your delusions!) and the cost of living index relative to living in Buffalo (so I could see what "lifestyle" I would have if I made what you made, here..Not too shabby.)
Check it out the cost of living index-> .


And the Journalist's salary:
The median base pay (not including bonus's or benefits) for a level three reporter (bachelor's degree and three years experience, writing, reporting, media print) is $55,000. The range for the 25th to 75th percentile warrants an annual base pay of $48,000 to $61,000, respectively. Now add benefits, standard stuff such as time off, 401k, social security, etc, now you have a salary that could easily bump up another $20,000, conservatively. Some companies pay bonuses and tuition among other perks, which would really pad a suffering journalist's income. Hmm, I do believe The Big Three companies have a nice package for their dedicated workers. Let's see:


Current job posting: "Editor/Multimedia position-Bachelors and 3-5 years experience. To manage a writing team and will decide the direction of storytelling."

I must digress. Their job description uses the term, "story telling" Well, thank you for being honest, I guess.
"Storytelling, both positive and negative, is one of the most powerful of all human capabilities...Ever since mankind became imaginative; storytellers have been
explaining everything people encountered, whether or not it was true.
These storytellers are modern humans most influential people."
Ok, back to the benefits of being a journalist:

"NYTimes.com offers a highly competitive salary and benefits program including: comprehensive health coverage, 401(k) plan, employee stock purchase plan, tuition assistance, and a bonus program."

The Dow Jones states, "We also are proud of the fact that we offer a competitive benefits package when compared to any Fortune 500 corporation. Our full-time benefits include health and dental programs, work/family programs, and a very competitive 401K plan."

Ok, so right there, I can interpret from company specific information and that provided from other previously mentioned resources, that you are not suffering from lack of pay. I didn't think so, anyways, but I thought it my duty as a discerning reader and purveyor of all things authentic, that I would take to the task of excavating relative information.

On the chance, that journalists were indeed suffering, maybe those that work independently or work for a company that does not provide them the luxury that The Big Three can (which if in NYC, who would you work for?), then perhaps you are living at poverty level. In that case, ok, poverty level is no fun. But if you are single and have no major responsibilities or issues, then you have the choice to move on to something that will provide the lifestyle that you so desire.

BTW, poverty level for an individual, is approximately $10,000.


Now that we covered the basics and validated that journalists are not poor, please stop your whining.

One of the first things I mentioned in this entry is that one must do their research in order to site a reference. If you use something to back up your thought, please have the decency to have at least read the damn resource. Again, everything is subject to interpretation and mistake; that I don't have a problem with. What concerns me and makes me want to "go postal on media stupidity", (figuratively), is when it is obvious that the writer did not read the article in which he cites and hence uses falsely as a catalyst for his article.

Daniel Gross writes, "Keying off a new report issued by the Center for an Urban Future, Jennifer Steinhauer noted that, thanks to high housing prices, many of the creative types who work in Manhattan-centered fields like advertising, publishing, and the arts are being priced out of the city."

That in itself is true enough to the report he is citing from. However, it does not have anything to do with they way in which he is trying to use it; as a pathetic means to gain some sort of pity and ascertain that journalists are elite in their own right and should be compensated for it. Bah.

Here is an excerpt from the 32 page report: (report in full)

"..an unusually large percentage of workers
who identify themselves as part of the creative core
report that they are not consistently engaged in creative
work. Musicians are one example: according to a
2000 report by the National Endowment for the Arts,
"More Than Once In A Blue Moon: Multiple
Jobholdings By American Artists," more than 39 percent
of musicians nationally hold a second job in another
profession to make ends meet. The same holds true for
creative workers in general."


"..a key factor why these individuals are able to
remain in the city despite the high cost of live and work
space. Creative workers-whether employed within
firms or self-employed-rely on skills training and
upgrading, funding, networking opportunities, mentorships,
work and rehearsal space, business skills training,
and work supports like insurance and health benefits
in order to thrive in their career. In fact, the fluid
and unpredictable nature of these industries and workers
-the project-oriented nature of the work, and the
large numbers of freelancers, individual artists, sole
proprietors and small companies that populate the sector
-makes having a strong infrastructure of services
And supports, all the more important."


This report does not significantly discuss wages or lifestyle. It is more about appropriate space and resources, then price of real estate, although that is a factor for consideration. Its about the changes in the market, globalization and how to adapt to these changes.



So yes, go ahead and write, but do your research and be authentic.


Respectfully,
TheeCarey BA, MA and FA Q

(full name omitted due to appearance on internet search results)

Damn, I have been waiting days for my flippin' Christmas gifts from (e:pyrcedgrrl).

who does she think she is, holding out on me?????

Being hospitalized, discolored yellow with jaudice and in pain is NO EXCUSE, girlfriend.

haha.. just kidding. I am relieved that you are better and made it though.
I am sorry that you didn't have any hot doctors and that the procedure didn't go through based on my dirty rendition. But alas, you are home. YAY!

now gimme my gifts :)

xxoo