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Theecarey's Journal

theecarey
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12/18/2005 22:44 #35840

one day at a time
Category: party
"The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said." Peter Drucker

For the past couple of months I have been enjoying Sunday mornings. I had been introduced to the simple pleasure of making a pot of coffee and sitting down to read the paper-watch some tv(sports, news, random channel flipping); which always happens to be a sunday morning and so an association has been made. Besides it is a very nice, normal, serene way to break into the day.

I had intended to do that this morning followed by some skiing and then baking.

Today was not such a day. I woke up entirely too late in the day to warrant lazy morning activities. It was mid afternoon and I had a pounding headache from sleeping in. In total it was a respectable amount of sleeping hours, but I just did not want to get out of bed. I was warm and comfy and not quite ready to face the day. I slipped in and out of dreams. The really juicy ones were especially hard to let go of, so in a way I forced myself back into sleep; they were really good :) I could have kept going if it weren't for the headache. Not that a headache would ever really stop me..

I did get to the baking part of my itinerary. Which wholly suprises me. I am not sure what has gotten into me. Baking. From scratch. On purpose. Without the proper cooking utensils. I pretty much guessed on everything. I remembered to use pot holders!

I did buy parchment paper, thanks to (e:kara). That stuff is pretty cool. And I will be making Kara Kanes© [inlink]kara,2[/inlink] (for recipe)

Ooh, what a mess I have made. This will be atleast a two day deal. I only got to cooking one of the recipes. I did prep the various sugar cookie doughs. Next will be cut outs, baking then decorating. I really needed pictures of myself. I was covered in cookie dough guts, flour and other squishy baking remnants.

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So many parties this weekend, but the Snow Party was priority!

It is always a pleasure to chill with the [search]typeHere[/search] peeps. Many familiar faces and a few new ones. Nice :)

I had my camera, but I only took a few pictures. The real Christmas tree was quite attractive with its shiny bulbs, tinsel and star trek ornaments. That would be Capatin Bacard at the top.


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"Dont get tinsel all over the place"
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(e:ladycroft) [inlink]ladycroft,146[/inlink] has a bunch of pics, included a nice one of her and I. And my fishnet stocking mishap. haha.
theecarey - 12/19/05 22:42
note that there are more than a few missing, haha
metalpeter - 12/19/05 18:17
Nice Pics glad you enjoyed yourself. I was glad to see you there even though I didn't say much. Those Cookies look good, Yummy I bet.

12/17/2005 13:31 #35839

Save a cow, eat a vegetarian
Category: potpourri
Shopping could be quite delighful if all that is required of me is to find the most tackiest or obscure gift. In my pursuit of fun and to stay true to my quirky personality, I buy such items anyway.

Soon, I must go Christmas shopping; without buying random things for me. I've still got a week. I work best under pressure, anyways.

Other than once or twice, the snow has not made its way to Youngstown. I am still waiting.. patiently..for new snow. I'm itching to ski.

Last nights quick refueling.. even random shopping builds an appetite:
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Boston was just about to close.They had little to choose from. I had some meatloaf form, green smooshy stuff and mashed potatoes. It tasted good to me. Although I could do a better job on the meat loaf. For some reason I have been really wanting that lately. I will have to succomb to my meatlaof desires soon. My last intense food craving was Ketchup. I stopped at nothing to get it, haha.

One last thought..becuase it makes me giggle...

Save a cow,
Eat a Vegetarian.

That is all.
theecarey - 12/17/05 18:00
haha, naughty girl. Following your logic, for all, um, 'intended purposes', I am a vegetarian too! hehe

Remember the testimonial I had left you in friendster? "..Timika is a vegetarian but a real man eater.." lol
ladycroft - 12/17/05 14:48
Is it naughty of me to agree with 'save a cow, eat a vegetarian'? Ha-ha! Oh lawdy, I love the gutter.

12/15/2005 23:52 #35838

simple sappy things..
Category: simplicity
I was looking through my picture files. I found one that I haven't viewed in along time. It is a file of kitten pictures from a few years ago.

Anyway, I realize this: I am a big animal dork.

I only have kitties at this moment, so I am a big cat dork. I have many pictures.
When I put together a fresh water fish tank, I will take pictures of them as well (hopefully soon, I just need a stand), and be a fish dork.
And one day, I hope to be a dog dork.

I am a sappy sucker for cute and fuzzy things.

Prepare to vomit, cute pictures ahead..

Baby Joey and Kayla. I found them under my porch the day I moved into a ghetto-esque apartment. My mom scooped up the five kittens and brought them home with her to raise them until they were big enough to be adopted. I had no intention of taking any of the kittens. But I fell in love with Joe. On the evening I was to take him home, his little sister, Kayla, managed to come home with me as well. It was the coolest thing to raise a couple of kittens. It brought a bright spot to an otherwise really dark depressing period of my life.
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My beloved turtle. Everyone loves The Turtle. Even as big fat cats, they still attempt to curl up on my turtle. We fight over him..

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Joee, Marlo, Kayla ((e:pyrcedgrrl) adopted Marlo, the other black and white kitten--she has the straight white streak up her face).
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fuzzy chunky butts
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______________________________________________

My class was cancelled tonight. I was in an after-work meeting when the call came in on my cell phone. As the class rep, the college contacted me directly. I then proceeded to contact my classmates with the good news. I wasn't sure if I wanted to risk the icy drive.. it is such a long drive home from class...so this worked out very well.

I went outside to take pictures of the ice, but oddly, there isn't any. Where did it go? :)

Anyway, my brain thinks it is friday, as I am rarely home before 10pm on a Thursday night. It is past my bedtime and I must try to get some sleep.
(e:pyrcedgrrl) is making me do some christmas shopping Friday evening. Is she insane? No, I am for not starting it yet..

Good night.. be warm and safe..
Carey
metalpeter - 12/17/05 15:03
I admit it those kittens are adorable, they also look like they liked to get into a lot of trouble, thanks for sharing the pics.
leetee - 12/16/05 14:16
I am a big animal dork too! Yay!

CUTE CUTE CUTE kitten pics!!!

12/13/2005 19:58 #35837

Looking for the boy in the dark corner
Category: dreamscape
One of my favorite places to be..

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Toronto, barely shows up with this camera. What would be a fabulous camera to have, so I can get more detail and distance?? Or maybe try a different technique?
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I need to learn how to get back up after I wipe out on my ass. I had my camera, why not take a picture? :)
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My car wins.. it is the filthiest of all of WNY.. full of trash and treasures

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Home atlast, after peeling off four other layers of sweat and snow caked clothing, working on this post...

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I thought I had more pics in another file.. Oh well, maybe I will find them later :)

Now more for your reading pleasure.. (what I had debated on posting...)

Dreams

I normally sleep pretty well. Occasionally I get insomnia. What happens is that I end up with a lot of energy to where I either don't need or just can't sleep. During this episode I will sleep half as much or less than my regular 8-10 hours. And the sleep is poor with a lot of tossing and turning. Although I am sleep deprived, I end up being energetic all day and this will continue until I eventually crash. It is usually a two week deal. Then boing! boing! boing! My energy levels rise some more, and that's just fun. I end up very talkative and a bit more obnoxious than usual. I write a lot during these times as well.

Not that there is any evidence of that here. :)

I have entertained the idea of doing some "serious" writing. I can pound out a ton of pages pretty damn quickly, whether forming an entry or writing a school paper. I write as I think, so I run with it. To work on a story would be a unique challenge. I have characters and story lines in my head. I have a creative, delicious and detail oriented imagination. I imagine using times like these to crank out a ton of material then make use of other times in the logistical part of the story development. However, I get overwhelmed thinking about it and I dismiss the idea. Really, it is just another form of procrastination and possibly selling myself short. I get pulled in so many different directions then I take no direction, which really gets me nowhere. *kicks myself in the ass*

Alright, so I had been debating on posting this. Not sure why, other than after a slew of lengthy really personal entries (even though they barely touched the tip of the iceberg), I feel suddenly shy.

I attribute the content of the following dream to the relationship-gender entry. [inlink]theecarey,57[/inlink]I had started that entry earlier in the evening of which it was posted. The opening paragraph was written prior to the heated political-personal posts, even. I had started jotting down a few random thoughts and then would go do something else, then I'd jot down a few more thoughts and stop for awhile. When I settled down for the evening, I decided to write and see where it would take me. I can start off with a thought and end up in another direction. I eventually wrapped it up a little after 4am. Then I played on the game site, pogo.com until about 6am. I slept lightly but comfortably even though my dreams had an atypical element. Usually they are replete with sexual situations, horror-adventure theme or occasional work dreams where my non verbal kiddos begin to talk.

Apparently my mind is trying to process through something because the elements involved have created a theme these past few nights. I write to get it out of my head and to see what my brain is telling me, perhaps. Thinking about the subject matter all day and then posting about it, it is no surprise that it was pulled into the dream.

I dreamt that I was trying to get to, what I perceive, the boyfriend, because it did not feel like 'just a friend". I was walking through a neighborhood, looking for his house. I was in a community where the houses and yards were close to each other. All of the houses were white. The side walks were very clean and tidy, although they had different styles in appearance. Each segment of the side walk had its own detail. The sun was shining; it seemed a pleasant day.

As I walked through this community I sensed that people were watching me, yet there was no resistance from anyone. They were curious about my strangeness. I just kept walking, observing the different homes. I focused in on their porches for some reason, which were close to the sidewalks. Although not in a hurried or anxious state of mind, I knew I had to pretty much stay on course. However, I had to get to him and I was concerned that I wouldn't find his house.

I had the challenge of navigating these winding maze-like sidewalks. I could see across the paths and yards, but for some reason, I couldn't just cut through all of it, not that there was anything visible stopping me.

At some point I came to a clearing that appeared to be all concrete; it was an entanglement of all the different sidewalks. On the other side of this concrete cluster, was his house, which was not far away at all. I could easily hop to one sidewalk to another if I wanted to. I could choose the sidewalk yet for some reason I took the longer more complicated route. I liken it to following the well known yellow brick road. I just stayed on course. The sidewalks were not linear, so by following one, I stepped over others.

I could see his house for it was so very close. I just kept walking until I felt it was time to go in, because at that point I did step over the last few pieces of the sidewalk, because right then and there I knew it was time to go to him.

I walked the path along the house. There were flowers and other nice stuff. I walked up the driveway (which looked like a larger version of the sidewalks) to a side walk that went along the front of the house. As I approached the house, I came face to face with his mother. She stood on the sidewalk and seemed to be expecting me and was not exactly welcoming but not hostile either. She made an attempt to keep me from going in, but it was passive, overall. This had surprised me as I was expecting more resistance.I do not recall the words exchanged. I do remember that I was not skittish or intimidated. I was right where I needed to be and knew that she didn't have the power to stop me from entering her house. It was really her house and he lived in the basement. (This was pulled directly from my post. I have never actually dated someone who lived in their mothers' basement. I had included it in my post because I have a friend who always asks "does he live in his moms basement, does he want your car and does he want to move in with you", which always cracks me up, which I think it is because of the way she says it, like she is talking from past experience and is a bit cynical- funny how it manifested in my dream)

Ok, so I pretty much dismissed her, saying that "this is where I belong and you can't stop me". So I walked past her and opened the door. This door opened into a vestibule. To the left was the entrance to the house and to my right, the stair case that descended to the basement. Once on the staircase, it took the form of the stairs I had going to the basement of the house growing up. The layout of the basement followed this as well.

I could see, but it was kind of dark. The sunlight from outside lit the staircase, but once I got to the bottom of the stairs and entered the room in which he lived, it was much, much darker. I knew he was in there somewhere and had to find him. I proceeded to enter the dark basement room. I called out. No answer at first. I continued into this darkness, determined, scared yet comfortable; like what I was doing was taken in stride. I didn't have to go much farther when I saw some illumination coming from the far side of the room. It had the glow of a tv (I didn't actually see the tv, just assumed) which faced a bed that was in the farthest possible corner, in which he lay, propped up on pillows. The room was very dark other than the faint illumination. Details of the room could not be observed, but I was not concerned with that. All I cared about was finding him. He seemed melancholy, inquiring why it took me so long to get there. I said that I knew that he knew that I was coming and that I was giving him extra time to be ready for my arrival and that the little extra exercise on my part couldn't hurt (hah where did that come from-must be my recent increase in activity).

Then it cut to talking about all sorts of stuff, gaining understanding and catching up on other things. We were also laughing and teasing each other and playing with a black and white kitty (it wasn't my Joe cat in my dream, but a beloved kitty that I had in the past, who died from leukemia complications. Not sure how or why she made it in my dream).

Then I came to the surface of consciousness and rolled back over to go into another dream; but that one eludes me. This had been the second dream in the same night that had similar elements I am not sure why this one along with its detail stayed with me as strongly as it did/does and that it actually played itself out.

The face of the individual changed between two people that I know. Someone I know now and someone I knew from a long long time ago. Not sure who any of the people were, and I did not recognize the "mother" figure. It was so detailed and I remembered it well enough upon waking that I typed it out. It took me awhile to decide whether I would post it. So now, a few day later, here it is.

Any ideas?

_________________________________________________
I kept the temperature in the apartment lowered significantly these past few days. I had mentioned in a previous post that I really can not afford to heat the apartment. The bill I just received is higher than it has ever been in my entire apartment renting life. Craziness! Anyone else experience this? I pulled a little electric heater into my bedroom, which helps a lot. It has a remote, so I can turn it on until the bite of chill is gone. The mound of blankets takes care of the rest. When not in my room, I wear a few extra layers. If I have friends over, I will turn up the heat and toss more logs into the fireplace, not a big deal at all. I prefer them warm and comfortable. Or we can try a more creative option and all pile up in my room!!! I figure if I can conserve a majority of the time, the bill won't be so bad next time. I made sure the storms were in and will put plastic on a few of the windows. Also make sure my curtains are closed most of the time.

On a positive note, the lowered heat has my wine collection chilled perfectly. I am enjoying the remainder of the bottle of Four Emu shiraz.

And the kitties are getting their winter coat.

And going out in the cold won't be as much of a difference; which is good because I have been XC skiing 4-5 times a week. So no more whining that it is too cold to go outside! Oh yeah!




theecarey - 12/13/05 22:44
Thanks, (e:metalpeter), I will have to try to keep that in mind. It was getting really dark, so I turned around and did not realize that I had been going upwards, so when I turned around, I slid right on my ass.I am flexible and strong; I tried get up,but to no success, even with the poles. It seemed I couldn't get balance from the incline, not matter how I turned myself, which lent to my not being able to get up. Then my binder release was frozen, where I eventually had to slip one boot off. I found humor in it, although I don't care for it to happen again. But I will remember, "skiis above knees". No, "knees above skiis". ok, got it. haha
shakey - 12/13/05 22:35
After reading your wonderful offering several times, I am not quite sure if praise belongs towards your pictures or towards your writing, both of which are spectacular beyond belief.

But, in the end, my mom was an English major and High School teacher, so I am a bit slanted.

Your writing is fabulous and amazing, and please do not stop! With you in the world, life is so much the better.

Dreams are bizarre yet not wholly mis-understood, and even worse when the alarm clock goes off in the middle of one, interrupting the temporary nirvana.

Theecarey, you are wonderful and please keep doing and writing.

Peace,

Geoff
pyrcedgrrl - 12/13/05 21:56
I wanna try. :( I'd probably break my ankle and knee, but whatevah. :) How much were your skis?
metalpeter - 12/13/05 20:12
I used to X country ski so maybe this advice might help you. When on the ground slide so that your knees are above or over your skies "Knees above your skies" that will make it so all you have to to is stand right up. If you try to stand from the sitting position it is almost impossible. As a side note if you are on any kind of an incline or decline have your skies facing the opposite way that way you don't go down the hill forward or backwords. Don't be affraid to use your polls. Glad you are having fun out in the snow.
paul - 12/13/05 20:05
Nice pics.

12/12/2005 19:03 #35836

Life should not be so complicated
Category: simplicity
The sunset was absolutely fucking amazing. Gorgeous swirls of orange, pink, purple and turquoise.

The days last light enhanced the reflection of Toronto. A pale pink glimmered off the buildings.

As the sky turned dark, the lights along the skyline twinkled.

No camera to capture this perfection.

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I have been XC skiing approximately an hour a day. The trails I take overlook lake Ontario. The time I go allows me to catch the sunset. I quickly build warmth which sustains through my chilly adventure. I am lost in my thoughts while appreciating the sight, smell and sounds of nature in Youngstown. No one else is around, just the waves crashing to the shore.

When my mind is squirreling with thoughts, I write.
When I go through my "insomnia manic" phase, I write.

When both occur at once, I write. A LOT.

Because I don't talk to anyone. But I am learning..
(fondly thinking of a short conversation from earlier today...)

(I just finished a 2,000 word entry.-debating on posting it, not sure yet, which is about a dream- The relationship entry was 3,000)

Thanks for reading, listening (?) e-strip...


So, (e:paul), how can I help ya out with that thesis? :)

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