Hygeine.

haha-- nothing *that* exciting.

I am not fond of dentists. I grew up terrified of them, actually. However, I love my teeth and have a slight OCD regarding them. I have them cleaned 3-4 times a year and my daily oral habits are inspiring (or ridiculous)..

Anyhow, late Saturday night I experienced insane pain. Made me cry or something close to it. Back in January I had all 4 of my wisdom teeth yanked out at once. Two shots of numbing agent and I was good to go. I found my "happy place" during the procedure, and managed pretty well when one of the teeth did not want to come out. Long story short, I could have fallen in love with my oral surgen at that point. It was really scary and he talked me through it all. It really was an ordeal. AFter that I had been sent home with a script for hydrocodone.

OK, skip to today. I scrounged around for a couple tabs of left over hydrocodone to get me through the day. I was feeling all fuzzy at work, even though it was just a half a tab I took every few hours. I had made a call to my dentist and he got me in immediately.

My mouth doesn't hurt all the time, but when it does, I am paralyzed from the sensation. It comes and goes.. There is nothing visible going on (yes, i have my own little hygeine set which includes a mirror and pick) and nothing is felt when I knock on the teeth. Info I found online was vague, so I was happy (and scared) to get into the dentist this afternoon.

prognosis? My little nerve is dying where my difficult wisdom tooth was extracted. I am not in bad condition at all.. it just needs some work. No infection, nothing major.. I was given a script for painkillers and was given the choice to do the work right away or in january when my dental insurance is back to the maximum amount. I was fine with the latter choice, I have dealt with pain before, I think I can manage it. We will see.. My only concern was that it was a serious matter that needed immediate attention, so I guess its good news..

A day off from work to do whatever my little heart desired. I am spoiled like that. Atleast for now..

After some routine house maintenance and school work, I headed out in search of adventure. What I found was groceries, cell phone shopping and a visit to a friend in nearby Wilson. I am always amazed and slightly terrified that her rottweiler insists on being a lap dog. My drool dodging skills improve each time.

The hedonist in me guided me into spending the remainder of the evening at home. After grabbing some chinese takeout, beer and loaded the dvd player with American Pie 1,2, & American Wedding , I settled my ass on the couch and laughed myself to tears.

I also played with the web cam.. I like the grainy look of the pictures. I have to resize to make any of them a user pic.

1. YOUR ROCK STAR NAME
(first pet and color of your walls)
Snowball Deep Pleasure

2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME
(grandfather/grandmother on father's side first name, favorite snack)
Mary Gummi Bears

4. YOUR "FLY GIRL/GUY" NAME
(first initial of first name, first three letters of your last name)
C. Mar

5. YOUR DETECTIVE NAME
(favorite animal, name of high school)
Cat Lewport

6. YOUR SOAP OPERA NAME
(middle name, street you live on(if its a number, do closest name street)
Marie Church

7. YOUR STAR WARS NAME
(first 3 letters of your last name, last 3 letters of mother's maiden name, first 3 letters of your pet's name)
Mar Ula Kay

8. YOUR HOOKER NAME
(first pets name and the first street that you live on)
Taffy Main

After a long week, Friday night presented an opportunity to unwind.

(e:pyrcedgrrl) and I ventured out to city Spot coffee. Our attempts to alter our state of mind with large quantities of caffeinated beverages proved to be a fruitless effort. We assessed our options and chose to up the ante and proceed straight on to full scale debauchery of the alcoholic variety...

The kind you find at Cathode Ray when Jim is bartending. Best $6.25 return on investment ever.

(moi) "I am a chreap dunk" --- two drinks substantiated this eloquant expression.

Later.. taking a walk..The line from point A to point B is not necessarily a straight one. I vaguely recall going to the car to grab my cloves, but they remain unopened. We found the camera and made multiple attempts to take pictures of ourselves. Plenty of partial head shots, pictures of the sky and pavement. However a few interesting shots made it. See, at this point I had easily succumbed to the power of suggestion.

Rummaging through the trunk (why was this, again?) --
epyrcedgrrl: "Look,a tarp. Lets bring it with us"
(e:theecarey): "ok" (pulls it from trunk..)



I am not sure how far I got with the tarp, but it made perfect sense at the time.

same with the ass shot "take a picture of my butt!":


Eventually we wandered down Allen with no forseen destination. Walking, talking, laughing, looking into the shops..


(e:theecarey): "Look at that picture! I had one growing up.."

(e:pyrcedgrrl): "which one?"

(e:theecarey) (pointing to a picture inside an antique shop on Allen) "The octangular one" (it was oval)

A very short visit to Mulligans:







I suddenly needed Ketchup. Dana knew just where to find "Vehicles for Ketchup"..

Off to Jims SteakOut..

(I normally don't like to work this hard for my food)








(Lovin' the Ketchup tonight)




Dana loves her, um.. what is that? What is that white stuff exploded all over the front of your shirt?? Let me taste.. yup, its The Money Shot
(blue cheese).




And so we filled our bellies and made our way back down to the car. Before heading home we made a stop at Diablo. I refused to get out of the car, having no desire to consort with the Angsty Crew (I love them, but I must be full on drunk). So we sat in the car while multiple Goths begged and slit wrists for our company. Eventually the call of the darkness called them back into the morbid abyss, and we were able to "escape". hahahah Maybe next time, my morose minions :)

11 pm.
Restlessness persists,
I accept the silence.
Do I dream tonight?


I ventured outside for a breath of cool fresh air; suprised by the clear sky replete with stars.
How I wanted to take a walk, yet the darkness and the unknown held me back. In t-shirt, sleep pants and slippers, I stepped out onto the driveway and made my way down to the mailbox, all the while gazing up into the starry night. An empty mailbox reminds me that all my bills are paid. A perusal of the neighborhood announces that the time for slumber has arrived. Everywhere it is quiet and the lights are dim; is noone awake but I? I inhale deeply as I return wistfully to the empty warmth of my apartment.


As crazy as my Thursday schedule is, I look forward to it. I manage to juggle full time work, full time school and a personal life with aplomb. I don't hold myself so rigidly to a schedule or expectations of anyone or myself that everything must go smoothly or it all falls apart. Actually I work well with the nuances of life. I am never sure what to expect and have incorporated latitude for such occurances; and when some things aren't so fabulous, I remind myself what and who in my life is pretty fabulous.

Earlier in the week I had the unexpected opportunity to bring my car to the shop. I had to quickly arrange a means for alternate transportation, which worked out fine, other than having to miss a few hours of work. Today I receive a call that my car "should be completed by closing", and once again, must arrange for transportation involving picking up the car and returning borrowed car to owner. In this case, I missed some class time, which bothered me but I managed alright. It meant that I was home earlier than normal and allowed me to slow down a little.

I had walked in the door, wrapped myself in a blanket and fell asleep on the couch for a couple of hours. I awoke around 10 pm. I didn't mean to do that! So, now, approaching midnight, I am wide awake. I have a small book collection that I haven't really taken a look at in awhile. I rarey read poetry and there are collections of stories that I would llike to reread. A very recent conversation on various writers has sparked my desire to revisit works I have read in the past, including poetry. I have a few anthologies that I must dust off. I feel like I am getting ready to go on an archeaological dig. The more I think, the more I remember. And the more I want to know... Thank you.
One of my favorite poems, by Chidiock Tichborne


On the eve of execution


1My prime of youth is but a frost of cares,
2My feast of joy is but a dish of pain,
3My crop of corn is but a field of tares,
4And all my good is but vain hope of gain.
5The day is gone and I yet I saw no sun,
6And now I live, and now my life is done.


7The spring is past, and yet it hath not sprung,
8The fruit is dead, and yet the leaves are green,
9My youth is gone, and yet I am but young,
10I saw the world, and yet I was not seen,
11My thread is cut, and yet it was not spun,
12And now I live, and now my life is done.


13I sought my death and found it in my womb,
14I lookt for life and saw it was a shade,
15I trode the earth and knew it was my tomb,
16And now I die, and now I am but made.
17The glass is full, and now the glass is run,
18And now I live, and now my life is done.

As a conspirator in the plot to murder Queen Elizabeth, this young man was executed by hanging (but not before being publicly disemboweled alive!!) Chidiock wrote this three stanza poem to his wife, the night before his execution.


I think that I will also dig into the archives of my writing. I should have a plethora of essays, critiques, reflections, poetry, somewhere around here..

I think it is finally time to fall back asleep. And the weekend is almost officially here. Yay!

Take care and be safe,
Carey